Chapter 13
Thirteen
CAMILLO
I told myself not to watch him walk away. That was boyfriend behavior. But I couldn’t take my eyes off him. He had a little swagger to his step, and my ego couldn’t help thinking, I gave him that. That look on his face, that was all me.
I felt powerful. I felt larger than my own skin—like one massive inhale and I would explode outside of my own body. No one had ever made me feel the way Aleric had. No one had ever given me the power to put them on their knees and beg to stay there.
I’d had lovers in the past who weren’t entirely vanilla, but their expectations of me were that I’d be pliant, submissive, meek. That I’d be willing to lie there like a dead fish and let them do whatever they wanted to my body. Even the other disabled people I knew expected me to be like that.
Even with Roget, it was performative. I knew he didn’t see me as a man who wanted to take charge. He thought I was overcompensating. It never bothered me until now. Until Aleric willingly got on his knees without a second of hesitation and looked into my eyes, waiting for my instructions.
He stared at me, a man who understood me without even knowing me. And that’s when I knew I’d been cheating myself out of what I really wanted for all this time. I’d been content to take scraps because somewhere deep down, that was the only thing I thought I could have.
Now, my world felt upside down and inside out.
I wanted to chase after him, to tell him not to go. To tell him there was room in my bed, and my home, and my life. But I wasn’t sure that was true.
But I wasn’t sure I had the strength to go through what it took to make all of that happen. And I wasn’t sure that Aleric deserved to be saddled with all the complications that would come from dating me. He was already running from his own burdens.
Why lay mine on his shoulders?
“Your Highness?”
I bristled at my title and spun in my chair to see a tall woman with thin brown hair and eyes that looked almost comically wide behind her thick glasses. I vaguely recognized her.
“Mr. Elrich wants to know if you could spare a moment for him.”
Elrich…ah. Christoph. The director of this farce. I’d been dealing mostly with the producers, and Christoph rarely spared me a glance, which I was grateful for. I wasn’t sure I had the willpower to keep my mouth shut if he asked me any difficult questions.
“Is it important?”
The poor thing was so terrified by my tone she actually curtsied. Fuck, I wish Aleric could have been here to see that. “I…believe so, Your Ro—your—ah…”
“Camillo is fine.”
Yeah, I could see from her face there wasn’t a chance in hell she was going to use my given name.
“Lead the way,” I told her, putting her out of her misery.
She was polite enough to keep a normal pace instead of slowing down like I was a toddler just learning to walk, and I did appreciate that she held the door for me because my arms were aching from what Aleric and I had gotten up to.
Of all the reasons to need extra help, jerking off the most gorgeous man I’d ever met until I pulled a muscle was high on my list.
“This way, sir,” she said.
That was better than Your Royal Majesty —which I’d heard twice this week.
The woman held a second door open, which led to a very wide, very posh-looking office. Or was it a bedroom? There was no bed, but there was a sofa that could have doubled as one. Was…fuck, was that a casting couch? My stomach crawled into my throat.
Then I realized who was sitting on it. Aleric looked a little stunned and scared as our gazes met. He gave me an imperceptible nod as I rolled closer, and I had no idea what to do. Part of me wanted to leap from my chair and protect him with my body from any memories he might be dealing with.
Which, of course, was absurd. This was definitely not the couch, and he’d probably sat on plenty of them since that moment. He didn’t look scared of Christoph. He looked terrified of me.
“Thank you for joining us, Your Royal Majest?—”
“Camillo,” I interrupted. “Or sir, if you must,” I said.
At the word “sir,” I saw Aleric’s cheeks go pink. Interesting. Something we could play with later. For now, I had to deal with this pompous asshole.
Christoph was the sort of old cinema that showed in the lines the Botox could no longer freeze. He looked a little stretched and pulled and fake tanned, which gave off mannequin vibes. I wondered if Aleric thought the same thing or if he was used to seeing people like this all the time.
“What can I do for you?” I asked when the room remained quiet.
“I wanted to introduce you to a couple members of our CGI team,” Christoph said. He waved his hand at a woman and a man sitting in the corner. I hadn’t realized they were there. “This is Sophia and Marcel.”
I was entirely confused as Sophia and Marcel half stood, managed something like a bow, then awkwardly sat back down like they weren’t sure what to do with themselves. If I could have dismissed all ceremony just to ease the way, I would have.
I glanced over at Aleric, who looked like he was trying to hide a smile, and my heart gave a triple beat in my chest. God help me. I liked him so much.
“Can I ask what CGI we’re talking about?” Aleric finally said, breaking the silence. “You’re not planning on having monsters attack the city, right?”
Christoph looked unamused and jerked his chin toward the sofa Aleric was on. “Your Highness, feel free to have a seat.”
I rolled a bit closer to Aleric. “I have had a seat. In fact, I always have a seat.”
Aleric gave a choking cough into his hand, and I could see his eyes sparkling.
At least he appreciated my humor. Christoph looked like I’d just offered to serve him a plate of raw insects for lunch. “I…of course.”
Rolling my eyes, I wheeled my chair closer and did the smoothest transfer I could manage. I hated doing this in front of people I didn’t know. I’d had the skill down for years, but it was inelegant, made worse by the fact that this particular bit of furniture lacked the support my custom ones did.
I sank a little too far into the cushions, but before I could panic, Aleric shifted his body next to mine, providing me a ballast. I wanted to smile at him. Hell, I wanted to kiss him. Instead, I gave Christoph a steady look and waited for him to tell us why the fuck he’d interrupted my afternoon.
“My editing team has brought some concerns to my attention—particularly ones regarding the intimate scenes,” Christoph said.
Aleric made a choking noise again, then cleared his throat. “I’ve actually been working really hard on how to portray that accurately.”
“I’m not doubting your skills,” Christoph said, every word sounding like a slimy lie. “The issue is what we can hide in jeans and trousers can’t be hidden when Prince Camillo gets naked.”
I knew they weren’t talking about me me, but it was still odd to hear. I stayed silent, and I could feel Aleric’s tension rising beside me.
“For example, even on a crash diet, there’s no way for you to lose weight specifically in your legs, and your abs are far more defined than the prince’s.”
I wanted to defend myself because fuck him. I could easily bench his body weight. But he also wasn’t wrong. Aleric could hunch over in a chair and keep his legs loose and still, but when he was naked, his body was entirely unlike mine.
“We have a few options for…authenticity. The first would be CGI. You’d wear green socks and wraps, and we’d be able to adjust the body in post,” Christoph said.
“Or?” I couldn’t help but ask. That felt weird and wrong.
Christoph met my eyes, his gaze steady. “Or we use a body double for the lower-limb shots.”
“A disabled body,” I said. That…could work, I supposed, though it also felt strange. They could hire a disabled actor so long as he was nameless and faceless?
Between us, Aleric’s fingers brushed my elbow, and something in me immediately relaxed. God, I’d had no idea how much I needed that touch.
“To be specific, your body,” Christoph said.
It took a full five seconds before I realized he was talking to me, not Aleric. Because of course it was me. I was the only paralyzed man in the room. My tongue felt stuck to the roof of my mouth, and I tried to make noise, but nothing would come out.
They wanted me to stand in? Me to play myself making love to him . To Raul—who was also Hugo. And Hugo would see it, and he would somehow know. He’d see a mole or a scar and…fuck. Fuck . He’d immediately know it was me in the shot.
Panic squeezed the back of my neck.
“That feels highly inappropriate,” Aleric said. “You’re asking the prince of Caverna to be a stand-in for a sex scene? You must know how absurd that is.” He was controlling his voice, but I heard a faint tremor in his words.
He was angry, and I knew why. And I wanted to kiss him for it.
“We can, of course, hire someone else if that’s what you’d prefer. But it would have been wrong of us not to ask.”
Aleric was so tense beside me it felt like being pressed against a brick wall. “Why do we need to do this shit at all? Why do you feel like it’s necessary to show all that? This isn’t full frontal.”
“No, but?—”
“I think with some well-positioned close-ups and a thin enough blanket, we can accomplish the same thing that jeans can. Trust me, I can get a little soft in the belly before we shoot those scenes, and considering I’ve been working very closely with Camillo to do his character justice, I’m fully capable of portraying it accurately. He does not need to get naked for anyone here.”
Oh. And now I understood the other reason he was angry. He was worried about them taking advantage of me.
“Aleric,” I murmured softly. “It’s alright.”
His head whipped around, and his gaze met mine. “Is it?”
It was an honest question and easy to answer. “Yes. I’m not going to do it, and I don’t think we need CGI. I think your suggestion is perfectly fine.”
“If it was up to you, Your Highness,” Christoph said, “we would, of course, sign off on it. But I’m afraid it’s not.”
Aleric leveled a gaze at him. “Figure out a better way.”
“I think?—”
“No. Figure out a better way,” Aleric repeated. He slapped his hands on his thighs and pushed himself to stand. For a brief second no longer than my inhale, I envied his ability to just stand up and leave. Instead of walking off, he stepped around my chair, undid the brake, then pushed it closer to me.
“Coffee?”
I stared at him.
“Or tea?” When I said nothing, he rolled his eyes. “I’m officially off the clock. No reshoots today, and this business here is definitely over. I think we’ve earned a little something.”
My arms felt like rubber, but they supported my weight as I lifted myself back into my chair and fixed my shoes on the footrests. The weight of everyone’s stare was heavy and almost alien in a way I wasn’t expecting.
It felt a little too similar to the first time I used my chair outside of the hospital. I’d been at home with my parents and my brother, but the way they watched me like I was some sort of sideshow had left tiny scars under my skin.
I didn’t like the reminder.
“Lead the way,” I finally said, and Aleric gave a stern nod before turning on his heel and heading for the door. I followed with two hard pushes on my wheels and felt a punch of relief when no one called us back.
That might have been a bad sign—frankly, I had no idea—but Aleric was entirely unbothered, so I decided to take a page out of his book and give up all my fucks for the afternoon.
“So.” Aleric was sitting on the pavement, his back to his tire, a cigarette pinched between his thumb and forefinger. He hadn’t lit it, but he was flicking it every so often, and his arm twitched like he was physically stopping himself from putting it in his mouth.
We’d been in the parking garage for almost twenty minutes now, and that was the first time either one of us had spoken.
“Was this your plan?” I asked.
He raised a brow and smiled a little, showing off his dimpled cheeks. “Uh, no. I didn’t actually have a plan. I mean, if you want tea?—”
“Not a fan.”
“Or coffee,” he said, his little smile turning into a smirk.
I scoffed and grabbed my wheels, rolling back and forth a few inches. I was feeling restless and unsure, and technically, I was hiding from Cillian, which I was going to hear about later. “Thank you for that back there.”
Aleric stared at me, eyes heavy-lidded. “I didn’t really do anything.”
“You did, and you know it. That was—ah. Unexpected.”
“They’re being dicks. The moment you give them an inch, they’re going to take a mile.” He finally put the cigarette in his mouth and pulled a lighter out of his pocket. I grimaced, and he sighed, dropping it back into his palm and tucking it into his little silver case.
“You don’t actually have to stop on my account.”
He shrugged. “I really do need to quit. I can probably find something I can carry around in here.”
“Why is it so important that you have that case with you?”
He stared down at it, almost like he was surprised to see it. “It was a gift.” His mouth softened into something like a smile. “The only adult I ever worked with who didn’t hurt me. He gave me a gift and taught me how to be strong.”
“You shouldn’t have needed to be strong.”
He said nothing, and I knew then it was probably the wrong thing to say, but he didn’t look angry. Just defeated, and I knew what that was like.
“Lollipops, maybe?”
His gaze shot up in surprise, and then he laughed. “Yeah, or maybe they still make bubble gum cigarettes. Those would fit.”
I had no idea what he was talking about, and it must have shown on my face because he leaned forward over his thighs and stared hard at me. “Why would anyone make fake cigarettes out of bubble gum? Those can’t be real.”
“You’ve never gotten candy from the ice cream truck, have you?”
“Ice cream…truck?”
“God, that’s so…that should be considered child abuse,” he said, pointing a finger at me. He jumped up with a grace that was so unexpected with his large body, then ruffled his hair and looked toward the exit sign. “How pissed will your guard be if we sneak out?”
“Very. But I can send him home.” Something in me was rumbling on the edge of excitement? Or maybe nerves? It was impossible to tell. But he was wearing a mischievous grin that made me want to throw myself into whatever chaos he was cooking up.
“Will your chair fit in my car?”
It wasn’t as nice as mine—because of course it wasn’t. Not when his parents stole all of his money and he’d been blackballed from the only job he’d been trained for. But it was larger than my car. “It can fit almost anywhere. It folds.”
“Right. I knew that. Uh…” He frowned, then walked around to the passenger side and opened the door, clearing his throat loudly. “Your Highness?”
“Don’t start.” I rolled closer to him and used my hands to lift my feet off the rests.
He leaned down a few inches and dropped his voice. “ Sir .”
My core went hot as magma, and my breath trembled on my exhale. “Aleric,” I warned.
He grinned, and for a moment, I thought he was going to lean down and kiss me. And maybe he was, but there was a bang somewhere in the distance, and he hopped back a few feet, then straightened his shoulders, and the moment passed.
“Where are we going?” I asked as I slid from my chair to his car.
“To fix your childhood neglect,” he said. He pulled his keys out of his pocket, tossed them in the air, then caught them with a whipping motion of his arm. “You trust me, right?”
God help me, but yes, I did.
“I do.”