Chapter 16
Lyra
I
head straight for the back doors of the lobby after my chat with Spencer, desperate for some air to cool the heat of my cheeks. That was—
That was badass. Even I have to admit that.
I did not fall into Spencer’s arms. But I’m not denying that it was tempting.
Earlier, at Camille’s, after I talked to Sophie, I called Kate. She made me understand that while I might be touched that Spencer would travel so far out of his comfort zone to come here, I was allowed to be angry at his timing.
“You can be angry with him, even if you’re happy to see him,” Kate had told me. “You give him a chance if that’s what you want to do, not because you feel obligated.”
“I don’t feel obligated to do anything,” I argued.
Kate sighed. “Lyra, you’re a princess. Your whole life is an obligation. But you’re out of Laandia now, away from the castle. You don’t have to be Princess Lyra there. Try to be Lyra Erickson for a bit.”
“No one wants Lyra Erickson.”
“If they don’t, they don’t deserve you,” she had said heatedly.
I told Spencer that he knew me better than anyone, but was that true? Did he just know Princess Lyra better than most? And what about Lyra Erickson? What did she think about Spencer showing up?
She’s mad at him.
Which is the reason behind my little speech, most of which, I imagine, Spencer was not expecting.
I could see it on his face; his expression was that of every man who had ever been attracted to me.
The connection is there—the attraction, the chemistry, or whatever it can be called. It’s always been there.
While we’ve both openly denied it, I’ve always known that Spencer and I would be good together.
The fact that he’s only realizing this after I made a point of trying to forget him is…
For such an intelligent man, Spencer is a dimwitted nitwit whose understanding of the female species can be compared to the Wi fi signal here—weak, spotty, and basically non-existent.
Maybe more than that, but I’m not giving him too much credit at this moment.
Both of us have been idiots, but Spencer more than me.
Today was a good day, and tonight had been even better. Good conversations, a few real connections, and yes, some kissing—Jon (amazingly thorough) and Leo (somewhat lackluster). I’ve laughed and told stories and I was one hundred percent Lyra Erickson, and they still seemed to like me.
I liked me.
And then I saw Spencer and now everything is mixed up.
“Where did you sneak off to?” Ashton says suddenly from beside me. “Jon was about to send off a search party.”
I clutch my chest and try to control my jumping heart rate. “I was just—Spencer.” I grind my teeth. I’m glad it’s Ashton who found me because I need a minute before I rejoin the group.
“You talked to him?” he asks under his breath.
I nod, keeping my face away from the cameras like the professional I am.
“What’s his sister like?” I turn to him with confusion. “You’re pretty good friends with her, aren’t you?”
Where did that come from—? “No,” I say automatically.
“Can you not use other words with me? I really don’t like it. No,” he says mockingly.
“How about not on your life. You’re not nice enough for Sophie.”
“I’m nice.” Ashton pretends to be offended.
I raise an eyebrow.
“I’m nice enough.”
“Again—no.”
“See? You say that a lot, you know.”
“I’m very good at saying no.”
“Is that what you told the wannabe prince when he asked for the next date?”
Even though Ashton has no chance with Sophie and if he does continue to suggest he might, I will personally see that every single tire is slashed before his next race. “Spencer doesn’t want to be a prince and he didn’t ask for a date.”
“I’m sure he thinks he’s getting it.”
“I’m pretty sure he doesn’t now.”
Ashton laughs under his breath. “So here’s me trying the friend thing. Ready to learn all your deep, dirty dark secrets.”
“I don’t think anything is dirty dark, but sure. Go for it.”
Ashton is easy. I know what to expect from him, and even when he’s at his most flirtatious, I know nothing serious will ever happen between us. It makes him comfortable to be around, a quiet island in a sea of complications.
Not that my relationships with the other men are complicated, but this is only the beginning. And now that Spencer is here…
“What do you think of your boyfriend being here?”
I stifle my groan. “I really don’t want to talk about him.”
“That’s all anyone is talking about. You got to give me something to report back to the guys.”
I round on him. “I thought you wanted to be my friend, to hear my secrets. Secrets that you would keep secret.”
“Is that a rule or something?” But he nudges my shoulder with a smile as he says it. “I’m not anyone’s first choice to confide in, so give me a break.”
Is this Ashton trying to make me feel better? Weird. I roll my eyes. “Yeah, yeah. Here’s something. Spencer is not my boyfriend.”
“That’s not what my sister says.”
I keep my mouth shut. Fenella has her finger in all of the pies in Battle Harbour and I’m sure she’s heard all the stories about Spencer and me.
“Do you want him to be?” Ashton continues in a lazy voice. “Do you want him to be your boyfriend?”
I have to think about that because it deserves more than a snappy reply. “I want him to figure out what he wants.”
“That’s awfully nice of you. This is your show, you know, and if the dude didn’t know where his head is before he stepped foot in this place, you should send him packing. There are other guys here who know they want you.”
It’s like he’s repeating my own words back to me. And it does calm me down, strengthens my resolve.
This is my show. This is my life.
“Do you?” I ask. While I’m on a roll, I might as well double-check that I don’t need to shut anything down with Ashton.
He’s rich and good-looking, and I’m sure there’s more to him than meets the eye, but it will be difficult enough for me to open up to these men to show my true self.
I don’t want to have to coax anyone else into doing the same thing.
Not even Spencer.
“Want you?’ Ashton lifts an eyebrow. “What’s the point when you say you’re not picking me at the end?”
I feel bad about that. I’ve never got the sense that Ashton was interested in me more the publicity I could bring him.
That we could bring to each other.
“I don’t think you really want to end up with me,” I say as cautiously as if I’m picking gravel out of road rash because if I’ve read Ashton wrong, this might hurt.
Ashton shrugs. “You sound worried. Are you already regretting friend-zoning me?”
“Honestly, no. I think we’d be good, but it would blow up so fast and so spectacularly and we’d get a lot of publicity about it and that would be good for the show. But this is my life, so no. But I will keep you around.”
“Because I’m such a charming and devastatingly handsome person?”
“No, no and no. I guess you are a person, so only two nos this time.”
Ashton slings an arm around me. “Are we supposed to kiss now?”
“And another no. You know, I think that is my favourite word when it comes to you.”
Laughing, I let Ashton lead me back to the others. I can’t help myself and give a sideways glance to where Spencer had been lurking.
He’s gone.
But he’s still here.