Chapter 19
Spencer
I
’m not sure I can handle the sitting around.
Lyra is on a date with Basher, and I’m stuck at the hotel with the other guys. We’re all waiting for it to be over.
Waiting, and dreading when Basher comes back to report.
The men are scattered all over the house—some in the pool, a few working with the weights. There is laughter and music from the kitchen, and a small group hangs out in the lobby, ready to be the first ones to see Lyra when she drops off Basher.
We missed her earlier since Basher had been waiting outside and they drove off without giving anyone time to say hello.
Some of the guys are upset about that, but I’d bet it’s just Lyra.
If I were a producer of this show, I would have made her sign an ironclad agreement to follow each and every instruction. Even though that still might not have gotten her to follow the rules.
Lyra does what Lyra wants. It’s how it’s always been.
Since I’ve been here, I’ve been thinking about her a lot.
Lyra is seen as demanding, constantly in search of adventure, new experiences. Her life is a quest for fun. A rebel in the royal family.
But being here—cut off from the outside world, including the work I know is piling up—means I’m alone with my thoughts for the first time in years.
And I’ve done a lot of thinking about Lyra, about how she’s not as demanding as everyone thinks she is.
She’s definitely a smart, strong, tenacious woman because the daughter of Magnus and Selene Erickson could be nothing else.
I’ve been fortunate to see a different side of Lyra, but now I wonder if there’s more to her than even I realize.
Demanding and difficult could be a way of wrestling for control over her life.
Being the child of a king is a challenge and I’ve seen the princes struggle with their duties and responsibilities in their attempts to have a life somewhat separate from their royal personas.
But it must be even more difficult for Lyra—not only is she a woman, but she’s a strong one who knows her own mind.
She’s never sidestepped obstacles, but dealt with them directly, even bulldozing them.
All amazing traits for women, but even today, not all society sees strong women as a positive thing.
She lost her mother, but rather than letting that define her, letting her grief change her into an entitled, spoiled woman who demands sympathy, Lyra put in the work to deal with her emotions instead of pretending they don’t exist. A public melt-down days after the queen’s funeral, questionable relationships, and bad judgements made it obvious that she needed help with her grief, and she got it.
I respect her for that. Admire her.
Princess Lyra is an incredible woman, and I can’t wait for the chance to tell her that.
I don’t think it will be tonight, though.
Instead, I spend the evening lounging on a couch before the fire with Rand, who has become my newest shadow since Lucas left.
I don’t mind Rand following me around.
With us are Boone, Jon, Dylan and Leo. Even for someone who grew up with princes—all sexiest men of various years—there is a intimidating amount of attractiveness and testosterone in this group.
I should have expected that.
“So you and Lyra were pretty close?” Tanner asks, joining me on the couch. He hands me a beer, and I accept it gratefully.
“Sort of,” I hedge, not wanting to give them too much information. “She was always there.”
“And you didn’t notice her being there?” Boone raises his eyebrows.
“I did… and I didn’t.” It’s surreal talking about my complicated history with Lyra with men who might have feelings with her as well. The cynical side of me worries that they might use anything I tell them against me, but the other said tells me I have to trust.
“She had her life, and I had mine and once in a while, we’d come together.” I press my hands together and push them off each other. “We had fun—”
“How much fun?” Leo asks with a lascivious grin, but his eyes are serious.
“Not fun like that,” I assure him. “Plus, we usually ended up arguing.”
“She’s a scrapper.” Boone smiles, and it’s more disconcerting than his scowl. “I like that.”
Rand goes around and asks them what brought them to the show. One thing I like about hanging out with him is that he talks a lot—and I find out a lot about the others.
“I was sort of pushed into it by the guys in the fire station,” Fireman Dylan admits. “We did one of those calendars, and women would DM me, and even show up at the station. It was fun for a while, but I’ve never been big on dating.”
“Well, that certainly opens up room for the rest of us,” Rand drawls. Dylan is one of the better-looking guys here.
“I want to settle down,” he argues. “No more dating.”
I wonder if Lyra will ever settle down.
“My sister made me do it,” Boone offers in his gravelly voice. “I don’t say no to her.”
“Same with mine.” Heads turn in my direction since it’s the first time I’ve given anything. “Half-sisters, but still sisters. I’d do anything they tell me to. Not that they told me to do this. This was all me. They were very surprised.”
“I’ve got brothers, and they told me I didn’t have a chance,” Rand says cheerfully. “What about you?” He turns to Leo. “Need a little more reality after your dancing debut?”
Leo shrugs apologetically. “My agent suggested it. Gotta find a way to bridge the kid actor to the leading man. But knowing Lyra was going to be the Suitorette was definitely a bonus,” he adds.
“My daughter told me to do it.” This is from Jon, who wants to be the leader of the group. I laugh when I think of him trying to control Lyra.
And then I feel sick to my stomach.
It’s a regular occurrence when I think of any one of these guys taking Lyra from me.
Never exactly taking, since she’s never been mine, but winning her heart, in Suitor terms. I feel sick at the thought of any of them walking away with her, because there’s an excellent possibility that any of them could.
King Magnus would approve of them asking for the hand of his only daughter.
The realization that I like the competition is worse than the waiting.
“You have a kid?” Rand asks with enough surprise for the rest of us.
“She’s six and wants to be a princess.”
“She’ll love Tema then. Lyra’s great with her. She’s Bo’s daughter,” I say, inwardly cursing about giving any information.
I may be friendly with these men, but we’re all after the same prize.
“What else can you tell us about Lyra?” Leo demands.
I shake my head. “Nope. You find out what you want on your own.”
“Dude,” Rand pleads with mock seriousness. “There’s a bro-code.”
“Really?” Leo asks.
“No,” Rand admits. “It’s every man for himself.”
“And may the best man win,” Jon adds. “She deserves only the best of us.”
That’s sweet. I don’t think I can be that honourable. I want Lyra to be with me, even if I’m not the best one here.
The realization doesn’t make me feel good. “Is this what it’s like?” I demand, unable to keep the note of sudden irritation from my voice. “We just sit around and do nothing when she’s out with other guys?”
I’m irritated because I hate the thought of Lyra with anyone else. With Jon’s daughter. Helping Leo with his career. Bringing a smile to moody Boone’s face.
I hate this whole thing.
Why can’t I be the one out with Lyra tonight? We could talk and sort things out and then—
And then I don’t know what would happen. How would it work if Lyra picked me out of all these men?
What would happen if Lyra picked me?
What would happen if she didn’t?
“That’s what you signed up for.” Boone has a resting scowl face, the bad boy of the group, and definitely gives off that vibe even when the cameras aren’t rolling. “Feel free to take off if you can’t handle it.”
“Did you sign up for it?” Fireman Dylan asks me.
“I’m here, aren’t I?”
“Could be a royal family thing,” Leo muses. “You could be here to check up on Lyra.”
“You think I’m some sort of spy for the royal family?” I manage a laugh, but it’s not the first time I’ve heard that. “That’s not how the king works.”
“How does he work?” Jon wants to know.
“King Magnus?”
He nods. “Does he agree with all this?” He waves his hand around the room and I get that he’s not talking about the newly renovated hotel.
“Lucas tried to tell us about him, but I think he was full of it,” Dylan leans against the wall.
“And he’s gone now,” Boone points out. “Lucas. You have something to do with that? Not that I’m complaining.”
“Lucas was full of it,” I tell them. “He claimed a longtime crush on Lyra, said he broke up with his girlfriend, but I don’t think he really did. He’s never been a fan of the family. I’d say he was here solely for the attention, or that he was out to embarrass Lyra somehow.”
“So you are here checking up on her?” Jon doesn’t sound happy about that possibility.
“No, I’m here because I’m an idiot.” I’ve never been one to admit my shortcomings in public, but saying it out loud doesn’t make it any less true. “I should have told Lyra a long time ago how I feel about her.”
“Cameras should have been rolling for that little confession,” Leo says ruefully. “You’d be even more of a contender.”
“His name is already pretty far up that board.” Dylan grimaces.
There is a whiteboard at the end of the hallway by the kitchen. Every morning, there’s a few names written on it, those men considered as front-runners.
Basher was obviously top today after getting the date rose, but my name has been on it since I got here.
I shrug. I suspect it’s the producers who decide who’s on the list, not Lyra. “We’ve got a history. I’m not apologizing for that.”
“Everyone likes a second chance romance,” Leo muses. “But did you even have a first chance with her?”
“I met Lyra the day she was born,” Why am I telling them this? And I’ve never once told anyone how I feel about Lyra. “She’s always been a big part of my life. And no—this would be my first chance, because I never took one with her in all the years I’ve known her. I’m in the same boat as you are.”
“No, you’re an idiot because you never made a move on her,” Jon points out. “Why now?”
“I’m afraid of losing her.” Just the thought of it has my head falling into my hands. “Any one of you could leave with her and I’d end up being the brothers’ best friend who just let it happen because I was too afraid to shoot my shot.”
Boone rumbles. “You got it bad.”
I lift my head. “Don’t you? Because every one of you should have it bad for Lyra. If I lose her, I want to make sure it’s to someone who loves her like she deserves to be loved. And if you’re not here for the right reasons…” I let the words trail off.
“Is that a threat?” Boone demands.
I’ve stood up to the king of Laandia as well as his sons, so I look the brooding bad boy straight in the eye. “It is. I won’t let anyone hurt her.”
The room is quiet for a moment. Then Jon gives a guffaw and rises to his feet. “Good. Feel like a game of pool?” And then he walks away, expecting me to follow.
Which I do, because anything is better than sitting there talking about my feelings.
Dylan, Leo and Boone come with me and the act of hitting small balls into pockets seems to put me in a better mood.
Possibly because I’m a good pool player.
“I wonder what they’re doing?” Leo finally asks in a morose voice.
“They’re having a good time,” I tell them, lining up my final shot. “Lyra doesn’t know how to do anything else.”