12. 12
12
B o
I know I shouldn’t leave them at the castle, but as soon as I led them through the door, I felt the walls closing in on me, just like I always do.
Kate texted me that Spencer had asked her to show Hettie around, so I know Spencer has filled her in.
Between her, Spencer and Duncan, as well as Mrs. Theissen, they make sure all our stupids are covered up.
Maybe leaving Hettie at the castle moments after I finally bring her to stay is another stupid, but I do it anyway.
I jump in the truck and head straight back into town to The King’s Hat. I know I’m supposed to take a security detail with me, but I don’t hang around long enough to organize that.
I need to talk to my brothers.
And when I walk into Kalle’s pub, there they are, standing at the bar, waiting for me.
“Dude.” Gunnar, our youngest brother, greets me with a grin and a one-armed hug. “Didn’t know you were coming in. Both you and Odin in town at once—it’s like something is wrong.”
I meet Odin’s questioning gaze before he hugs me. “Is something wrong?” Kalle demands as he slaps my shoulder.
Obviously, Spencer didn’t fill them in .
“I’m here to talk to Dad about… something,” Odin offers.
“He’s in London, he’ll be back tomorrow morning,” Kalle says.
I look at my big brother with surprise, remembering his hesitation about becoming king after Dad’s health issues. Before then, he never knew what Dad was doing, where he was. He’d been a complete apathetic about how the country was ruled. And now, from this single sentence, I can tell how things have changed.
I’m glad because it means I’m off the hook, at least once Kalle and Edie get married and start having babies.
“What’s going on with you?” Odin asks, pushing a foaming pint of beer in front of me. I pick it up, already tasting the first mouthful of frothy bitterness.
“Wait,” Gunnar orders, holding out his glass for a refill. I stand still until my brothers each have a full glass, and then in unison, we drink.
Gunnar bows out first—his glass only half empty—and then Odin with a laugh. Spencer doesn’t even try any more, but Kalle gives a good effort, giving up at three-quarters to take a breath.
I finish the pint and push it away for more. “I got married,” I blurt out, swiping at my face.
Kalle’s glass stops halfway to his mouth. Gunnar isn’t as lucky, and a spew of beer flies out, most of it landing on Odin.
“That’s one way to tell them,” Spencer mutters.
“What?”
“When?”
“Who?”
“I got married,” I repeat. “Eight years ago.”
“To Hettie?” Gunnar cries. “But you helped her get out of town. I helped her get out of town.”
I found out later that when Hettie left, she had wanted to do it quietly, without fuss. Without saying goodbye to me. Spencer had helped her, enlisting Gunnar to stop by her sister Mabel’s place to pick up a few last-minute things.
I knew nothing about this, and when a picture of Gunnar at Mabel’s late at night was shown to Kate, his girlfriend at the time, I believed the worst of him. I even reprimanded him about ruining things with Kate.
It wasn’t until years later that I found out what really happened.
“Yeah,” I say, bowing my head. Yet something else to feel guilty about. At least it worked out for the best—Gunnar moved on with Stella, and Kate forgave him, even before she knew the truth. Still, I hate that I was responsible for my little brother getting his heart broken.
Odin shakes his head. “I don’t understand.”
Kalle refills my glass, his expression serious as he pushes it toward me.
“No use trying, I’ve got more to tell you.” I take another long mouthful of beer and set the glass down with a resolve I don’t feel. “I married Hettie in a secret wedding that no one knew about except Abigail Locke and Spence.”
They round on Spencer, who raises his hands in surrender. “Dude,” Gunnar accuses.
“And then she left town,” I continue.
“And now she’s back.” Kalle shrugs as all eyes turn to him. “I heard Mabel talking to Tyler. ”
Heads turn to where Mabel Crow, Hettie’s older sister and Kalle’s new manager, is watching us from across the room. She wiggles her fingers at us.
“She’s back,” I confirm in a tired voice. “And she brought her daughter. Our daughter.”
“Shut the front door,” Odin breathes. “Spence, you should have told us about that.”
“That was news to me,” Spencer says heavily.
“Did you know?” Gunnar asks me.
“I did not.”
“What does this mean?” Odin demands. “For the line of succession.”
“I don’t really care about that. I’ve got a kid.” I stare into my beer. “What am I supposed to do?”
“What do you want to do?” Kalle counters. “I mean about Hettie, for starters. She came back, so does that mean—”
I cut him off with a shake of my head. “She wants a divorce.”
Gunnar grimaces. “You can’t really blame her.”
“Why did she leave in the first place?” Odin asks.
This is what I didn’t want to get into. There’s a lot of emotions around Mom’s death and I know I’m not the only one who hasn’t dealt with them.
“The wedding was two days before Mom died.”
Three expressions of understanding face me. “Ah.” Odin nods. Gunnar bows his head.
“You were a mess after that,” Kalle reminds me.
“We all were,” Odin adds.
“I wondered if that had something to do with it,” Gunnar muses. “I mean, I didn’t know about any wedding, but anyone who saw you and Hettie knew it was the real deal. You were just so—” He claps his hands together.
“Joined at the hip?” Odin offers.
“Yeah, but in a good way. You were tight—and happy. At least most of the time. It was… nice. When I heard she was leaving, I didn’t get it. For days after, I thought you were about to take off as well,” he adds, looking at me sadly. “I couldn’t picture what you’d do without her.”
Kalle quickly adds some levity to the somberness. “Look at all the compassion and insight from the young one.” He reaches out and rubs Gunnar’s head.
“At least I had a clue what was going on.” Gunnar ducks away.
“Yeah, well, I didn’t handle things well with Hettie after…” I trail off. I already said the words once and that was enough. “She got tired of me being a mess and took off.”
“I think there was more than that,” Spencer chides. “You were uncommunicative. No one could get through to you, not even Hettie.”
They all look at me like I’m about to explain why I had been like that. Because yes, our mother’s death was difficult for all of us, but at least they could function.
Because they weren’t the reason that she died.
“I don’t want to get into that now,” I say with a shake of my head. “The point is, I have a child. A daughter. And I have no clue what to do about it.”
“You do what you have to do—you be a father,” Kalle snaps. His blue eyes—same shape as mine, but lighter—narrow as he says it, like I’m about to bail on Tema.
That is not an option. That has never been an option .
Already, I want Tema in my life with a ferocity that frightens me.
“But what if Hettie leaves again?” Just voicing my biggest fear makes it seem more real. Like it could really happen. “What then? How am I supposed to be a father here and Hettie is in British Columbia?”
“Make sure she doesn’t leave,” Gunnar says simply.