Chapter Five
Viking looked at the grave and felt his heart breaking all over again.
His little girl didn’t get a chance to grow up and learn all the things girls go through as they become teens and then adults.
Hell, she didn’t even get the opportunity to lose her first tooth and have the tooth fairy visit her.
He’d looked forward to all the things, all the firsts.
Because of the selfish actions of her mother, his baby wouldn’t get to do or see any of the things he’d planned.
“If I could turn back time, I would, little one. I’d go back and take you away from her, the laws be damned. I would do so many things differently. You were my little girl to protect.” He let out a shuddering breath as tears flowed from his eyes.
With one hand, he wiped his thumb over the dates marking her birth and death.
“I miss the feel of your tiny little hands reaching out for mine when we walked, and the sound of your laughter. God, you filled our home like the sun. I miss the way your eyes would light up the second you woke up and saw me, as if I was your whole world, your comfort, your safe place. What you didn’t know was that you were all that to me.
I miss the nights you’d wake up and call for me.
Those midnight cuddles, the soft rhythm of your breathing, were so damn reassuring.
I loved the way you fell asleep on my chest. I remember the first time I held you.
Everything in my life became clear in those moments.
Now you’re gone, and I can’t seem to find the way past my grief and loneliness.
” He looked up at the sky and saw the clouds moving.
His jaw clenched. Next to Sarah lay her mother’s grave.
He never spoke to her when he came. Although he understood drugs made people do dumb shit, he couldn’t forgive her for taking his daughter from him. Not yet. Maybe never.
“You were such a selfish bitch. My family says it’s not healthy to continue to hate you, but fuck it, I will hate you until I die, I think.
I have one comfort, and that’s knowing you ain’t up in heaven with my baby girl, worthless whores like you don’t get to pass through the pearly gates.
” He wouldn’t believe she’d get to live in eternity with their daughter while he didn’t.
Yet time moved on, faster than he could hold, and still all he saw was his baby girl forever young, forever lost to him.
If he could go back, even for a day, he’d hold her a little longer, a little tighter, kiss her forehead a little softer, and whisper how she made him so happy.
He brushed at his face with the back of his hands, letting out a puff of cold air. The morning light got brighter. “If I could give my life for yours, know I’d have given it in a heartbeat.”
The presents he’d selected wouldn’t be left behind since he didn’t want them to get damaged by the weather. Like every year, he’d drop them off at the local shelter, hoping another child would get them and find some joy.
Viking sat in a corner booth at the only restaurant that served coffee and a decent breakfast. Not that he was hungry, but he needed something to do, so sitting in a mostly empty diner fit the bill.
“You need a refill, hun?”
He looked up at the waitress, giving a nod. The bell over the door jangled, drawing his attention. Several pairs of eyes moved to the petite woman who moved with effortless grace toward the counter.
“Hiya, Jinx. I’ll be right with you.”
“Thanks, Weezy. I need a pot of coffee with a long straw, cream, and sugar. You know, all the good stuff,” she laughed.
Viking found himself chuckling at her words.
Jinx’s head turned toward where he sat, their eyes locking on one another.
His cock jerked beneath his jeans. Fuck.
He’d never had such an immediate reaction to a woman before.
It shook him, especially since she was literally covered from head to toe in layers of fabric, yet his dick seemed to give zero fucks.
He didn’t understand the pull she had on him. Hell, he needed to get laid. Surely that was all it had to be.
With monumental effort, he pulled his eyes away from her laser-focused ones, staring down at his hands. At that moment, he could use his own pot of coffee, minus the straw and sugar.
“Hey, want some company?” she asked, looking at the empty bench across from him.
Viking jerked, shocked he hadn’t heard her move so close to him. He nodded. “Be my guest. I’ll warn you, though, I’m not the best at the whole talking over food.”
She shrugged and took a seat, smiling as Carla came to take her order. “Same as usual,” Jinx said.
“You come here often, I see.” Viking lifted his coffee cup to his lips, hiding a smile as he sipped.
“Usually on Saturdays,” she agreed, eyeing his plate. “You know, the pancakes are amazing when you actually eat them.”
He snorted. “I’m aware. I have a lot on my mind.”
Jinx looked away. He noticed several diners were trying not to stare at the two of them.
“People tend to gossip when they notice things that aren’t the same as usual,” Viking said in a low growl.
Jinx shook her head, letting out a huff. “Trust me. I’ve learned that the hard way.”
Carla returned with a cup of coffee and a plate with Jinx’s usual order of pancakes and bacon. “Here you go, Jinx. Let me know if either of you needs anything.”
“I’m good for now,” Jinx replied.
Viking cut a huge bite off of his stack without responding, which was his answer.
They ate in companionable silence for a while, and then she set her fork down, sighing.
“I wanted to thank you again for last night. I...I wasn’t very gracious for the way you helped handle the situation.”
He sat back, resting his hands on his flat abdomen. Her words surprised him. “You don’t have to thank me, Jinx. I only did what any decent human being would or should’ve done.”
She shook her head. “That’s bullshit, and you know it. Not very many people would stick their neck out the way you did, especially when they’re outnumbered the way you were. If you come back in, while I’m working, the first round is on me.”
“Mmm, what if I wanted top-shelf liquor?” he asked, wagging his brows.
Jinx settled into the booth, taking in his expression like she was seeing if he was being serious. “Even if you wanted a double shot of the most expensive,” she agreed.
Another waitress, this one named Carly, dropped off their checks without saying a word. He grabbed them both before Jinx could, pulling out his wallet and paying for their meals. The sexy little bartender raised her hand, dropping it as he quirked a brow.
“I’ll leave the tip,” she said.
“I don’t have anything smaller than a fifty.” He didn’t say anything else, figuring she would try to argue if he tried to point out his reasoning.
“Do you always get your way?” she asked.
He thought about how he’d spent his morning and wished he’d gotten his way. If he had, he’d been sitting with his little girl. Viking shook off the morose memories, trying to bury them as effectively as he’d buried his child.
“What’re you doing for the rest of the day?” he asked.
“Well, it’s Christmas, so I thought I’d clean my house before heading to the bar. We don’t expect it to be too busy, but around here, you never know.”
He tilted his head to the side, trying to gauge whether she was sad or lonely at the prospect of spending the holiday alone. “Why are you not with family or friends today?”
The moment the question left his mouth, he wanted to call it back. Her shoulders stiffened, and her eyes went down to the table. “I best be heading out. Thank you for breakfast. Don’t forget about the free drink.”
He reached for her hands before she could escape from the booth. “Hey. I’m sorry. I have no right to pry into your personal life like that. Hell, who the fuck am I to ask shit when I’m sitting here all alone looking like the poster boy for losers?”
She let out a little laugh, breaking the sober spell that fell over them. “I don’t have any family. My friends, whom you met last night, invited me to spend the day with them, but I didn’t feel like...peopling today.”
“I get that, except I have a big ass family who would slit my throat if I didn’t show up at some point today.
I actually had breakfast with them earlier.
My mama gets up at the crack of dawn to cook for all of us.
It’s been her thing since forever.” He didn’t know why he felt like sharing parts of his life with Jinx seemed right, but it did.
“That sounds nice. Do all of you get up and eat together, or is there a rule that if you don’t, you can’t eat until the next meal?” Jinx’s hands rested on the table, clenching and unclenching.
Viking covered her small fists with his.
“Whoever wants to eat first thing, eats, and if you sleep in, then you’re free to fix yourself something, warm up leftovers, or whatever.
My mama has an open kitchen rule. As long as you clean up after yourself, she doesn’t give a shit.
The only rule that is hard and fast in the house is you don’t touch someone else’s leftovers. ”
“Explain,” she said, raising her brows.
“If you go out to dinner and don’t finish your meal, the leftovers are considered protected.
I always finish mine. Basically, if you and I were out to dinner and you didn’t finish yours and got a box to take home, that’s off-limits unless you say otherwise.
If anyone touches your leftovers without express permission, there will be hell to pay.
” He gave her a slight squeeze on the hands.
“One time, my baby brother ate my sister’s leftover ravioli she’d gotten from Olive Garden.
Let me tell you, it was as if the world had crumbled.
He knew the rules but chose violence that day.
Solange, that’s my sister, she hasn’t forgotten or completely forgiven Samson to this day. ”
She tossed her head back, laughing so hard he lost contact with her small hands. Viking watched her, entranced by her pure joy and beauty. “Are you laughing at me, woman?”
Jinx wiped her eyes, sucking in a few gasps. “I’m sorry, but that is funny. I’ve never—sorry, I don’t mean to laugh at your family,” she said, sobering.
Viking reached for her hands again. “No, don’t do that.
I love hearing you laugh. Hell, it’s fucking funny.
If you’d actually have seen my brother groveling as Solange berated him, you’d have laughed.
Samson isn’t as big as me, but our sister is a tiny little thing like you.
He was literally on his knees, fearing what she’d do to repay him.
Every day, he would beg her to just get it over with.
It was the waiting that was driving him nuts. ”
“What did she do?”
“Samson is one of those people who has a thing about his algorithms. He spent forever curating it to his exact tastes. The motherfucker would drone on and on about the shit. Honestly, I don’t have the patience or give a fuck about any of that.
I have the playlists that I listen to, and I’m good.
Samson is a techy who is all about that kind of stuff.
Anyway, Solange waited until he was out of town one weekend and went over to his place.
She spent hours on his computer, his tablet, hell, I think she even hit up and shit, clicking on things, changing his algorithm.
He came back to find his carefully curated shit now spanned makeup tutorials, hair shit, how to get over an ex-boyfriend, and all kinds of feminine guru things.
There were a shitton of other things, but you get the idea. ”
“Oh my god, that’s diabolical and ingenious. Remind me to never get on your sister’s bad side, but also, I want to meet her. She and Fred would be frightening if they teamed up.” Her green eyes glittered like emeralds under the sun when she was happy.
“Oh, we’ve all said she would be a dictator if given half the chance. Samson still hasn’t gotten his precious back to the way it was.” He laughed, remembering the horror on his older brother’s face when he’d discovered what their little sister had done.