Epilogue
Viking’s leg jumped from the nervous energy running through him. Jinx tried to reassure him everything was normal as she lay there waiting for the ultrasound tech to return.
“Why do you have to get naked for her to scan your stomach?” he asked.
She reached out for his hand. “Once we’re finished seeing our little bug, I’ll be getting a checkup with the doctor.”
He shook his head. “I don’t remember any of this.”
Viking closed his eyes. He looked every inch the scary biker in his black jeans and black T-shirt with his cut.
They’d drawn several eyes when they entered the office.
He’d offered to wait in the vehicle with Coal.
The brother who’d been drugged the last time he’d driven them seemed hell-bent on proving he was worthy of their trust. She’d tried to tell him it wasn’t his fault.
Her mother could have been a grade-A actress back then.
The cameras showed her falling, and even though they couldn’t hear, she’d clearly been lying on the ground between their vehicles.
Coal hadn’t gotten out. He’d simply rolled the window down to see if she was okay.
Her mother got to her feet, already holding the needle. He’d been ambushed.
They held hands as the technician entered. Bekkett shifted the chair closer, watching the screen. Jinx kept her eyes glued on the small figure, memorizing each part that was pointed out.
“Congratulations, you two. Do you want to know what you’re having?” she asked.
Jinx looked over at Bekkett. “Can you put it in an envelope for us? That way, we can discuss it and decide later?”
The woman smiled, clicked the mouse, and printed their pictures.
After they saw the doctor, she and Viking walked out of the office holding hands. Coal moved their SUV into the circular drive outside the clinic. The moment she slid inside, Viking entered. He covered her lips with his.
“All good, brother?” Coal asked.
“Yeah. We got to see the baby.” Viking held up the pictures.
“That’s awesome, man. Did you find out what you’re having?”
Viking shook his head. “We’re going to think about it. I don’t know if I like surprises, but it’s Jinx’s decision.
“My son was a hell raiser when my girlfriend was pregnant. She didn’t want to find out the gender either.
I was only seventeen and thought I had it all figured out.
I joined the Marines so I could take care of the two of them right out of high school.
She decided she could do better and sued me for full custody when I was three thousand miles away, covered in sand and dirt.
I’d been home twice in a year, sent my pay to a joint account, thinking we were building a future.
Now my boy lives with his mom and calls another man dad.
Don’t waste time on fearing the future. I should’ve fought for my boy.
I was stupid.” Coal shifted the SUV into gear.
“I was scared when I learned I was going to be a dad the first time, Coal. There are a lot of things I wish I could go back and change, but it’s too late for me. If your son is still out there, you can still make amends.” He placed his hand on Coal’s shoulder.
“He hates me. I wanted him to grow up being a better man than I am. I didn’t want him to be stuck in the town where I grew up. That place raised two types of men. A sports star or a farmer. The sports star usually took over his daddy’s business after he finished school. I broke the mold.”
Coal drove them the rest of the way home in relative silence.
Viking stared down at the envelope in his hands. Jinx kept looking over at him throughout the ride, wondering what he was thinking. When they exited outside, Viking swept her off her feet.
“What’re you doing?” she asked.
“Taking my baby mama inside.”
He settled them on the leather sofa, easing her onto his lap sideways. “What are your thoughts on finding out the gender?”
She looked at the envelope in her hands. “Will you be upset if we were having a daughter?”
He blew out a breath. “If we have a little girl, she’ll be beautiful and amazing. If it’s a boy, he’ll be a little shit starter like me.” He let out a sigh.
“Any child we have will be full of goodness and probably a whole lot of spitfire,” she agreed.
“I know my little girl, if she’d still been alive, would’ve been dangerous, especially if she had you for a stepmom.
You’d have raised her to hold her head tall and run wild with a homemade halo of wild flowers.
Jinx, you should’ve seen her. She was beautiful.
Her beauty...God, she was so damn beautiful.
I know she’d have been witty with a razor-sharp intelligence.
Her tiny smile lit up the room. I already knew she’d have been hell on wheels, and she would’ve done whatever she wanted, but she’d have listened to me, not like some brainless fool who obeyed without question.
I miss her every fucking minute of every fucking day.
But this baby,” he breathed, placing his hand on her stomach.
“Whatever we’re having will be every bit as wild and amazing.
If you want to wait until the birth, I can wait. ”
She brushed her thumbs under his eyes, loving this big giant of a man.
“You’re such a gift, Bekkett. Sarah was lucky to have you for the little time she did.
No, don’t shake your head. I believe that with my whole heart.
I heard you can’t silence someone who was born to roar.
You are that, Viking. You may not be able to walk beside her here on earth, but you can and do hold her with you, and one day you will meet her again.
Until then, you honor her with everything you do.
You live. You breathe. You be the man, the father she deserved, until you can fly together once again.
This little bean will know they had a sister who is up in heaven watching over them. ”
“Fuck, I don’t deserve you, Jinx.”
“One day, you’ll believe you deserve everything, even my love, Bekkett. Until then, I’ll keep telling you and showing you.”
VIKING BURIED HIS HEAD in her neck, holding his second chance at love.
The beautiful woman in his arms gave him everything and demanded nothing.
He was done hiding himself away. You don’t get to rewind time or reclaim what was taken from you.
He’d be damned if he allowed himself to continue to allow grief to hold him back from what he wanted.
“You’ve brought light into my life, Jinx.
I see you, the beautiful soul you thought nobody noticed.
That doesn’t mean I can’t see the pain you’ve suffered.
Hell, the dark can’t hide what the light shows.
Whether you’re covered in darkness because memories are trying to consume you, or you’re smiling so hard when the shadows are creeping in, it doesn’t change the fact that your heart is pure.
What I’m probably failing at saying is, I see you, all of you, and I love you.
I will love you until the last breath leaves my body. ”
“Thank you for loving me and for being careful with me, Viking. Everyone around me thinks I’m indestructible because that’s what I’ve shown them.
I’ve done everything I could to become a woman who doesn’t rely on anyone.
I became the strongest version of myself so I couldn’t be hurt, both physically and mentally.
When you’ve suffered the kind of trauma I have, you get a crash course in grieving.
I wasn’t allowed to do it properly. There wasn’t time for me to break.
My family and their world never slowed down for the loss of my sister or the gravity of what it did to me.
It was impossible for me to come to grips with my new reality and to know which pieces were meant to go with me and which were meant to be hidden, buried beneath the lies and deceptions.
I knew when I left that mansion, I was leaving more than my blood family.
I was leaving a part of me behind, but I carried the heaviest memories with me.
I’ve been described as cold and insensitive.
I think several men have even referred to me as the Ice Queen Elsa. ”
“Fuck them,” Viking growled. “They’re wrong. They were all wrong about you. You felt too much, so you had to shield yourself to survive. That doesn’t make you anything but a fucking survivor.”
“With you, I let myself feel everything. Even if the feelings aren’t all pretty, I like them.
I’m learning not to allow the bullshit to overshadow my successes or vice versa.
When I succeed, I’ll celebrate with you.
Fear won’t dictate whom I turn to or away from.
I’m smart enough to make those decisions.
That doesn’t mean the heavy pieces I’ve carried for all these years are all of a sudden gone, even though I now see a lot of them weren’t mine to begin with.
I’m not scared to look in the envelope if you’re not. ”
“Well, even when I’m cursing a blue streak and swearing that multifucktional is literally your thing.
” He dodged her fist, wrapping her up tighter until they were lying on the couch facing one another.
“You know I’m right. You’re always doing too fucking much and hanging on by a fucking thread and getting shit done by the skin of your fucking teeth.
If that ain’t multifucktional, I don’t know what is. ”
“Well, I guess that definition works for me. And I never thought I’d say the type of man I’d want for a life partner was a tattooed, bearded one who wasn’t afraid to walk in with his hat on backward, throw me a shit-eating, run for your life if you know what’s best for you grin, that never failed to get all my girlie bits excited, and wreck me so much that I not only forget what day it is, but totally destroy me for any other man.
But here we are.” She pressed her hand on her stomach.
“Damn, that’s one hell of an endorsement, Jinx. I don’t know if I can live up to that kind of pressure.” He flashed her another pantry melting smile, or at least what he hoped she considered one.
THE END