Chapter 26Sofia
Chapter 26
Sofia
My heart is thrashing in my chest like a fish on a hook as I pull myself from Marco’s arms. It takes all my strength, but I know I must do this before it’s too late. Before I lose myself completely in him.
“Sofia, what’s wrong?” he asks.
I take a shaky step back from him. I smooth my hair and take a deep, steadying breath, fighting to gain control over myself.
It would be so easy to get lost in him, all my feelings simmering to the surface, ready to break free, to show him how much he means to me, how much I want him. To tell him what I have begun to fear so fiercely.
That I’m falling in love with him.
I can’t let that happen. I must protect my heart. A man like Marco? He’s nothing short of dangerous. Losing myself in him would be incredible—and an abject disaster.
He’s the embodiment of the very reason why I want to choose an arranged marriage with the very opposite sort of person. A man like Marco is the reason I had all those boxes to be checked on my spreadsheet in the first place.
Marco is none of the things I know I need in a life partner. He’s unpredictable, spontaneous, his heart filled with passion and excitement. He lives in the moment, encouraging me to eat whatever I want, buying dresses for me, and giving me the most passionate and heartfelt kisses of my life, under the lanterns on this most romantic of nights.
But it can't be Marco.
I need a man with a steady character, someone who doesn’t get swept up so easily in the moment. Someone who is calm and predictable. Someone mature, older than me. Someone who knows who they are and what they want out of life.
Marco is young and still working all that out. Sure, he’s following his passion for nature in his new career, but he’s only been pursuing it for a couple of months. What’s to say he doesn’t change his mind next year, next month, next week?
What if he changes his mind about me .
I close my eyes and suck in a breath.
Loving Marco—as wonderful as I am sure it would be—can only ever end in heartache.
I know. I’ve been down that road before. Reynold was passionate and got swept up in things, full of the joys of life. It was exciting for someone like me, who has to follow the rules, always be self-contained, keeping my true self in check. But ultimately, Reynold’s passion led him to another woman, leaving me behind, sad and broken.
That’s why, of the two brothers, Enzo is the one I should choose. He would never get swept up in anything. He’s responsible, steady, the kind of man I could always rely on.
With Enzo my heart isn’t involved. It’s safe. Protected.
As I look at Marco, with his messy hair, stubble lined jaw, and soft eyes, I know what I must do. Even though it breaks my heart.
“What is it?” he asks, his voice breathy and deep.
“This. Us.” I gesture between us. “We should never have let this happen.”
“Why not? Principessa , I have come to feel so deeply for you.”
I hold my hand up, scrunching my eyes shut. “No, Marco. Don’t.” There’s a pleading tone in my voice and he takes note, dropping his hands at his sides, his features falling.
“Can you at least tell me why? Is it because you have feelings for,”—he swallows—“for my brother?”
If there’s anything I know it’s that I feel nothing for Enzo, and absolutely everything for the man in front of me, looking dejected and forlorn.
Because of me.
“It’s not about him,” I say softly, my head bowed.
He reaches for my hand. “Then we can work this out. I know we can. The way I feel about you? Well, you need to know that in the short time I’ve known you, you have grown to mean so, so much to me. ”
My throat hot, I hold back the tears that threaten to spill over. “Don’t, Marco. Please.”
“But I need you to know. I’m falling for you, Sofia, and I don’t know how to stop. You’re in my head, my heart, and my soul. Forget your spreadsheet. Forget the boxes you need to check. Those lists don’t leave space for feelings, for love.”
With the strength of someone deep in self-protective mode, I pull my hand from his. “We got wrapped up in the moment in this breathtakingly beautiful place. That’s all it was.”
“No, it was so much more than that.”
I shake my head. “We got carried away. I’m attracted to you, that’s all, and attraction doesn’t last.”
He reels back from me. “What are you saying?”
“I’m saying this is foolish. What we’ve been doing is foolish. You and me and this whole quest.”
‘No.”
“Marco, I must choose with my head over my heart. It’s the only way.”
His shoulders slump. “And your head doesn’t choose me.”
I shake my head, my throat burning with unshed tears.
“So that’s it? You’re ending this?”
“There’s nothing to end. It was a heat of the moment thing that should never have happened. I’m sorry, Marco. I’m sorry to have led you on this silly quest to solve the puzzle. We got so wrapped up in it, we forgot ourselves.”
He stares at me and I hate what I’m doing to him. “I didn’t forget myself.”
I lift my chin. “I did. I’m a princess. That is who I am, and it’s what must come first.”
“You’re more than that. You’re not just a princess, you’re a woman with a beating heart and I know you feel it too.”
I bite down on my lips, feeling them tremble. How did I let this happen? How did I let Marco in, let him touch my heart the way he has, let him pull down my walls, the walls that were so carefully constructed after Reynold left.
I was stupid. Reckless.
As I take in the sadness in his eyes, my heart cries out for me to comfort him, to tell him that yes, I feel it too. That yes, I want to be with him. That yes, I’m falling for him as well.
But I can’t say any of that, even if it’s the truth, because doing so exposes me to the one thing I’ve worked so hard to avoid. The one thing that scares me more than anything else. Only now that I look at him, I know beyond a whisper of a doubt, I’ve already fallen. The damage has already been done.
But this is a fantasy.
Monteluce is not my real life.
Marco is not my real life.
“I’m sorry,” I say, my heart breaking in two.
He doesn’t say anything. We walk in silence back to the hotel, both of us feeling the inexorable weight of what lies between us.
But with every step it’s as though I can still feel his lips pressed urgently against mine, his hands sliding up my back, his fingers tangling in my hair. I can still smell his scent, hear his soft words of longing in my ear.
He unlocks the front door to the small hotel and we climb the staircase to our room. Marco holds the door open, and we slip inside, locking it behind us.
I look around, seeing everything with new eyes. I had been so concerned about sharing a room with Marco when we were here only hours ago, trying to contain my growing feelings for this man, not allowing him to see any of it.
Now? Now everything has changed.
With that one kiss—that one glorious, deeply passionate, utterly emotional kiss—he knows how I feel about him.
“I can wait outside as you prepare for sleep,” he says, his voice flat and low.
“Thank you,” I reply, not looking into his eyes.
I cannot risk losing myself to him once more, not when so much is at stake.
Quietly, he leaves the room, and I busy myself preparing for bed. As I slip into the cool, crisp sheets, he knocks quietly at the door. “Come in.”
I sit up in bed and watch him, my heart aching at the sadness in his eyes. He’s holding some bedding, which he places on the small patch of floor in front of the fireplace, stacking the chairs to one side.
He uses the bathroom, returning in a T-shirt and his boxer shorts. He slips into his makeshift bed and I turn out the bedside lamp.
“Goodnight, Principessa ,” he says into the darkness.
“Good night,” I reply, staring at the ceiling, wishing I was anywhere but here in this room, with this heartbroken man.
His deep voice punctuates the stillness of the room. “Sofia?”
“Yes.”
“Whatever you do, whatever your decision, know that my heart is yours.”
The heat in my throat intensifies, my heart beating deep and low. This thing between us was only ever going to be doomed, but for a brief, magical moment in time we came together as one, two souls, destined never to be together.
And that will have to be enough for me.