Chapter 34
The night before our wedding, we hosted many foreign dignitaries and royals at the palace. I struggled to keep my eyes off Alexandra for even a minute. She was stunning, carefree, and glowing. We no longer fought. We weren’t back in the place where I was sure we’d fall into bed together, but we made progress. We were back to being friends. Her sisters were wild and exuberant. We allowed all to attend. You could have thought Alexandra and I hung the moon by the way Ingrid told it.
The only person doubting it was Celeste. She sat in the corner glaring as people mingled. Still, it couldn’t keep Alexandra down. This was her palace. These were her friends now. This was her life. I watched from the sidelines, but I was proud to call her mine tomorrow.
“She’s happy as ever,” my mother said. “Beautiful.”
I nodded. “She is glad to be almost done with this. We both are.”
My mother shook her head. “Not what I meant. She’s lighter than last time.”
“She’s free. And really… I dunno… it’s as if I am, too. It’s the exact opposite. I am tying myself down. Seeing her like this, though, brings me even more happiness than if it were me. I mean, look at her. And look at the girls. I was part of that.”
Mamma chuckled. “Don’t give yourself too much credit. But she is beautiful—beaming. And you helped. She sees you, Rick. She understands you, min skat.”
I smiled. “I know.”
“Take good care of her,” Mamma said. “And those girls. You’re their big brother now. They need you, too, as she does. You’re taking on a lot of responsibility.”
“Of course.”
“But I think it suits you.”
I snickered. “Never thought you’d say that.”
“You make a good patriarch given the chance to get your act together. Don’t tear yourself down. You worked hard to help the girls and Alexandra. And if she makes you happy?—”
“She makes me happy.”
She did. I spent a month getting back in her good graces. I was grateful to have a second chance. I wasn’t taking it for granted. But she made me glad to be alive. I loved her. I don’t know how I managed to feel this about anyone. I adored her. It was everything at once.
“Well, you should consider retiring soon, min skat. Big day tomorrow. You both need your rest.”
I agreed. “You’re probably right. She and the girls won’t sleep, of course.”
“Probably not, but you will. You”d sleep through a disaster.”
I laughed. “I’m going to find her.”
I walked through the crowd to discover Astrid and Alexandra talking to a Belgian. She looked at me, confused. I motioned to my watch and mouthed “It’s late” before she caught on.
“Ah, yes, it’s getting late. We might want to turn in.”
I nodded.
“I’ll make sure the little ones get back,” Astrid said. “Go ahead.”
Finally, after a week of little time to even say a word to Alexandra, I again got to take her hand and walk with her. It was a relief. She linked her hand with mine as we walked towards her room. Little was said. We felt out the words. What do you say to someone who you love and will marry after only a few months of half-hearted courtship? What do you express to someone you care about the night before your wedding? What do you say after a huge blowup? Do you clear the air? I was unsure.
“It was a nice evening,” she said. “Not bad. I was worried I might be bored.”
“Hard to be bored watching Odette and Ingrid lose it over every little thing they’ve never done before,” I said.
She smiled, her face softening. “Yes. They are good for that.”
“I never had sisters, Lex. It’s different. I was the baby. It’s nice to be a big brother to them. There is something sweet about it. They’re a hoot.”
She chuckled. “A laugh, yeah. I will miss them. We’ve never been apart for more than a week—only when I went to Lundhavn with you. Can they handle it?”
“It will be okay. They are safe here. Astrid has them under control. They will go to school. I’ve never seen two children so excited about school as they are.”
“They have never attended a proper school. It is all new to them.”
We stopped by her door. I knew I must leave her. Or must I? Did it even matter anymore? I thought we’d thrown away impropriety the night of our engagement dinner. Then, it all fell apart. I figured now was not the right time.
Alexandra looked at our intertwined hands. “Rick, I am sorry that I cannot jump right back to where we were. And maybe… it’s for the better. Because we were so deep into whatever rolled over us that we were blind to any semblance of sense.”
“That’s true,” I said.
“But I think we can get back there,” Alexandra said. “At least I hope we can. I… I don’t want this to be a sham. When we say those words tomorrow, I want them to mean something. We’re starting on a clean slate, right?”
I nodded. “If you want that, I want it.”
She smiled. “I do.”
I needed a lot more than just a sweet smile. I wanted to run Alexandra through the door and deposit her on the bed. I longed to watch myself undo her and feel her nails dig into my back. I tried to avoid thinking about it, but it was no use. That attraction for her came rushing back.
“I love you, Alexandra.”
“I know,” Alexandra said.
She didn’t say it back. I didn’t want to admit how I longed to hear it from her. I was hook, line, and sinker. I had given her all my heart to stomp on before. She wasn’t stomping but she wasn’t reciprocating, either. I was powerless, but it was all worth it if someday she returned my feelings.
She stared up at me with her beautiful, sweet eyes. I couldn’t help it. I went in for the kiss. In true Alexandra style, she pulled me in even closer. She kissed me harder. I stuck my roots into the ground to stay upright as she gripped my lapels. We stood there for a bit, slowly kissing. At some point, our animal brains took over.
Pinning her to the wall next to the bedroom door, my hands roved. Rather than display any degree of disagreement, Alexandra pushed her hips towards me. She quivered, her body pressed against mine. As I kissed her neck, she gasped.
She asked, “Do you want to… come in?”
I thought she’d never ask me. Rather than reply, I kissed Alexandra again. We made it back into her bedroom and onto her bed. She pulled me onto her and toyed with my belt.
“I want you,” Alexandra said, breathless. “I want you to make me feel everything.”
She stopped.
I looked back at her, confused.
“What? Is that weird? Oh, God, I made it?—”
“No,” I whispered, kissing her sweetly. “Lex, I will give you everything you ever wanted. But right now, all I want is to watch you lose yourself while you scream my name.”
She nodded at me and bit her lip. I was about to finally have all of her. I continued to kiss her, running my hand up her dress. She shuddered again, pulling away as I reached the edge of her panties. I ran my hand over them, feeling her wetness.
Then, as I was about to toss them aside, we heard someone rummaging through her closet. The door was closed, but the light was on. I sat back up. Alexandra did, too. She put her finger over her mouth and crept over towards the closet. We heard a man’s voice. I panicked, worrying we should call for security. I hopped up, disregarding the neglected erection in my pants, and attempted to defend her from… what?
She took one of her shoes off and held it over her head as if the heel would spare us. I grabbed a paperweight from the adjacent desk. Neither of us well-prepared, we braced.
“Where could it be? It’s in none of these bags,” a male voice said.
“How should I know, Bill?” Another said.
“Lord William,” Alexandra and I whispered in unison.
Alexandra didn’t wait for any sort of signal at that point. Annoyed, she pulled the door back and glared at the men.
“What are you gentlemen doing in my walk-in wardrobe?”
The men looked very frightened. They both bowed quickly and then stared at her in utter fear.
“We were… securing the area, Your Majesty?” The littler of the two asked.
“Yes. Securing it. Rightly so,” Lord William lied.
“I think Martin and my team were quite satisfied with it,” I said. “They have secured it without you bumbling fools!”
Alexandra stood, arms crossed, not buying it. No one would. It was a ridiculous statement. Her glare was so steely. It only made me want to kiss her. All my wires were crossed right now.
“What are you doing? Let me ask you once more before I call the police in here and have you both removed and arrested!”
“Alexandra—”
“Is that how we address the Queen, boys?” I asked. “Really?”
Lord William glared, wringing his hands nervously. “Your Majesty, we were sent here.”
“By whom?”
“Your grandmother. To check… on your wedding dress.”
“It is with the designers,” Alexandra said. “I don’t have it here. They are keeping it safe.”
“We all feel it would be most secure?—”
“What, in the hands of the woman who destroyed the first one?” I asked. “It’s not going to work. Whatever game you’re?—”
Alexandra put her hand on my arm, signalling this was her battle. I backed off.
“You won’t find it here. Moreover, if I ever see you in my quarters again—two unattended men who should not be in here—I will ensure neither of you ever returns to a crown property again. Have I made myself clear?” Alexandra said.
They dispersed. Alexandra shook her head.
“I thought it would stop.”
“So did I. That’s fucking crazy,” I muttered. “Alexandra, where is your dress?”
“It’s in Odette’s room. It’s hidden in a trunk,” Alexandra replied. “We worried about this—Asti and I.”
“You’re clever. I’m sorry you must worry about any of that.”
She shrugged. “It’s my life. And apparently, it remains so.”
“We will liquidate things when we return, my love,” I said. “I promise you. I will do it myself if you give me a mandate.”
She wrapped her arms around my waist, pressing her face into my chest. “I will give you a mandate, Rick.”
I kissed the top of her head, lovingly. Yes, we’d been disturbed. Nothing would happen tonight. However, I now knew the woman I married tomorrow had my back and I had hers. There would be time for much more tomorrow. Or so I thought.
We went round to Odette’s room to ensure the dress was fine. I ducked out while Alexandra checked to make sure it was still locked tight and perfect. Then, she returned to the hall and nodded.
“I will take it to my room,” I said. “I won’t open it. I promise you. But I don’t trust it here.”
“How will you protect it?”
“Don’t worry about that,” I assured. “But I would feel better if it were with me.”
“Fine,” Alexandra said.
“One question, though.”
“Yes?”
“What was the endgame with the dress? What made you worry?”
“She asked for the other dress to be returned to her. Our worry was she would destroy this dress and force me to wear the other.”
“But why?”
“Control, embarrassment, maybe to make you not marry me? She would have loved the humiliation you leaving me at the altar would have brought.”
“The other dress wasn’t you, but you weren’t ugly. And I’m not so shallow, Alexandra. I am marrying you, not the dress.”
“Didn’t you think I was plain when you met me?”
I shrugged. “I didn’t know you. And you had no right to choose anything for yourself. You were subdued by that cunt. Come on now! I don’t feel like that anymore.”
Alexandra wrapped her arms around my neck and bit her lip. “I know. You don’t mind me.”
“Not at all,” I smiled.
She kissed me. It felt like before—normal, simple, true—and we were back to a good place. I was affirmed.
“Okay, take the dress. You can be my knight in shining armour again. I will send Marta to get it from you in the morning.”
I chuckled. “I will defend it bravely, Your Majesty.”
“Of course you will. Get some rest. You will need it for the marathon tomorrow. We both will.”
And that is how, with Marta and Martin helping, we arranged for a housekeeping cart to take the massive garment bag down the hall to my room. I tucked it into bed right next to me still clueless as to what was in the bag to my left. It was ridiculous. And yet? I knew she’d look beautiful as ever. I would have married her in either dress, but I hoped she’d be happy in this.