Chapter 46
EXCLUSIVITY
ELOISE
Iwatched TV as Duncan returned from working a double. I began to see the appeal of the man-in-uniform thing. He was downright hunky. Unfortunately, despite his dashing appearance, his face pulled uncomfortably. Something wasn’t quite right.
“What’s up?” I rose to meet him.
“I just want to hop in the pool,” Duncan said. “I need a minute. We lost a good man and… it was a long day.”
“Someone died?”
He nodded. “Test pilot. When I left the entire air station was in a bad way. I had cadets in today, so I felt like an old man comforting a bunch of babies. I’m emotionally run down.”
“There you are,” Mandy said. “You look rough, love.”
“Just a bad day,” Duncan said. “Gonna hop in the pool. Be back in about forty-five.”
He departed.
Mandy shook her head. “He’s having a hard time of it. This place is not for him. He’s his father’s child.”
I cocked my head. “How so?”
“Takes it all to heart. Carries around everyone’s emotions. He’s very sensitive.”
“I knew that,” I said. “His father is the sensitive one?”
“Without a doubt. His mother’s safe place to land,” Mandy said. “I think he confides in you because he knows you can handle it. You are kind but firm with him. He needs that. He carries around too much. Feels a lot. People assume it is the opposite.”
“I always thought he was sensitive. Well, since I got to know him.”
“And you don’t beat him up about it.”
“Why would I?”
Mandy shrugged. “It’s hard. People assume you’ll be king someday and make decisions about you. He’s a lot like his grandfather—weight of the world on his shoulders but a real softy. King Robert was a good man, but people said he needed some direction. The Queen was good at keeping him on track.”
I nodded. “I can see that. He’s very protective. I told him people don’t perceive that genuine protectiveness as anything but anger. He needs to have a bigger range of emotions publicly. It’s something we’re working on.”
She smiled, “Good, good. Now, if I put the pot roast back in, will you be able to pull it out at 7?”
“Yes,” I agreed. “Sure. Go on. I can make sure to pull it at seven.”
“You’re an angel, darlin’!”
Mandy left and I baked cookies while watching the pool glow in its glass enclosure.
I wanted it to feel like some sort of private homecoming.
Instead, it was this. And now I considered the implication of holding any sort of happy celebration during Duncan’s departure from Valley.
The plan was a promotion ceremony. However, if someone had just died, probably not the best look for Her Majesty to celebrate it.
Some might find it appalling that I would worry about such things when a man had died, but that was my job—to anticipate what people would think about a given action. I was there to manage the chaos and media hype. I was there sketching the beginnings of a painting on canvas.
An hour later, I put in the second round of cookies when Duncan entered the kitchen. He hopped up on the kitchen island, almost like an oversized gargoyle.
“Cookies?”
I glared. “Don’t take the piss over cookies, Duncan. They make everything a little more tolerable, don’t they?”
“Did I disagree?” He took a cookie off the cooling rack.
I waited as Duncan took a bite. He nodded.
“Good?”
“Definitely doesn’t hurt, Ella. I’m sorry I’m in a mood.”
“Someone died. It’s okay to be in a mood, Duncan.”
He shrugged. “It’s hard to explain. You must move on. Their lives are dangerous. The fact that anyone ever let Mum do that is beyond me.”
“You never had fantasies of doing it?”
“Of course I did.” Duncan took another cookie. “Who doesn’t want to be like their mum? Especially when their mum is as brave as mine is. Nah. Keir got to be the crash test dummy. I was prohibited. He got all the glory. I looked up to him so much.”
I was surprised. “I thought you two didn’t get along?”
Duncan shrugged. “It’s so complicated, Ella.
I dunno. He’s the closest thing I have to a full-fledged big brother.
Just like Leah is a big sister to me. She and her sister Charlotte, though, we were never in direct competition for anything.
The girls… they weren’t even titled since Uncle Georgie left.
Now, Keir was Mum’s presumptive heir for years before I arrived.
And they have a very special bond. He idolizes her.
And while I was always surrounded by bubble wrap, he was encouraged to be brave. I resent it a lot.”
I popped open the bottle of red from the cellar and poured glasses.
“It’s really about the comparisons, though. Keir has the beautiful young wife, the perfect little family, and he was the war hero. How in the hell does a fuck up like me compete with that?”
I handed Duncan a glass. “First of all, you aren’t a fuck up. You kept the tower running today on a day with interlopers and a day where stress was high. That’s not the work of a fuck up, Duncan. Second, yeah, he has a family, but I gather that someday you will, too.”
“I hope you’re right, Ella,” Duncan said. “All I need is someone like Ingrid to make me look legitimate. Where do I find a blonde, humorous, fecund princess from a country no one has heard of? See any takers?”
I snickered. “When I find her, I’ll introduce you.”
“I’m joking. I would much, much rather spend my days going down on you, if we’re being honest. The idea of marrying a princess doesn’t appeal.”
“Why? Is that not what you’re born and bred for?”
“Oh, Ella, you’ve met me. No. Ingrid and her ilk live for that sort of thing—parties, being perfect whenever on display—and I’m the least likely taker there.”
“Besides what duchy in its right mind would nominate a girl to be yours knowing your record, right?” I joked.
“Hey now, Eloise! You’re being cruel.”
I snickered as the timer beeped. I placed the cookies on top of the oven.
“You have the nicest arse of any woman!” Duncan said.
“Someone died and you want to talk about my arse?”
“It’s life, Ella, but your arse makes it better.”
I rolled my eyes and smacked him with the oven mitt.
“I am sorry for bringing the mood down. I wanted to come home and be in a good mood. I wanted to just spend my time fucking you properly. I’m not quite in the mood and I feel dreadful about that, Eloise.”
“Oh, you’re allowed to have an off day,” I said.
“I wanted to say at the very least that your concerns about exclusivity… there should be no concern at all.”
I blushed. “I am sorry to have brought it up when we’re not even… anything.”
“If I had it my way, Eloise, we’d be a lot more than nothing, but your concerns are valid.”
The way he looked at me melted my heart and sent it racing. Because this was no joke. We could laugh about things all we wanted but he was staring at me the way you do someone you want to spend all your days with.
“I am a serial monogamist, Ella. That’s all I’m trying to say. And maybe you don’t want to label whatever the hell this is but I’m not about to go run off with anyone else.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
“I will behave myself. Promise,” Duncan said. “All joking aside. I know that getting found out means bigger things for you than for me, Ella. I also know that you make me so very happy and I am willing to do whatever I can to keep you around.”
“Thanks,” I said. “I’m willing to give it a shot. I’m glad that’s not a deal breaker.”