Chapter 52
THE CALL
DUNCAN
I need a minute. I’m having a breakdown. Please ring me.
It was a hurried text—the most pressing in a string of them. So, I stepped into the office and closed the door. It made things look more official. Even though I wasn’t up to anything, I didn’t need to give a more-hormonal-than-usual version of Eloise a reason to not trust me.
As I locked the door, I answered the video prompting me.
“Yes?” I said.
Nessa’s face appeared on the other side. I could tell she was in the conservatory of her parents’ house in the Lake District. Her blonde curls framed her face—clean and free of makeup. I fought a flashback to a time where I woke up next to that version of her every morning.
“I just… I found a bunch of old things of ours here,” Vanessa said. “And since it’s our anniversary—”
“Nessa, one has to be together to have an anniversary,” I sighed.
Tears welled. “I miss you.”
Why had I answered? Why had I allowed her occasional interest to crop up and rule my life? She did this sometimes—usually around our former anniversary or my birthday. She’d reach out, we’d talk too intimately, and she’d smash my heart into pieces again. I should have blocked her years before.
“Don’t you miss me sometimes?”
“Nessa—”
“Duncan, you love me. You still do.”
“I will always love you,” I admitted.
It pained me to say it, but I wouldn’t lie. There would always be a place for Nessa in my heart.
She smiled, satisfied.
“Nessa, what would your husband think if he found out you’d rang me?”
“He won’t know. He’s in Portugal for work. I got lonely and sorted through my old room. I found one of your old shirts. Could I drop it by sometime?”
Absolutely not!
“I just… I want to see you,” her voice warbled as she fought tears. “It’s stupid. I shouldn’t—”
“You chose him, Vanessa.”
“Fine, okay, but… I am starting to question if—”
“Vanessa, I am—”
A knock shook me.
“Your Royal Highness, we need to take our seats for landing,” John said.
“Understood, John. Just a moment.” I turned back to Nessa. “Baby, I gotta go. I cannot keep doing this with you.”
“What if… what if you just left? What if we ran away together. We could start a family and live a quiet life—”
“Nessa, that would never be possible. This is my life.”
“You don’t even care for it! You always said you’d rather be wrapped up in my pussy than stuck at engagements, Duncan. We could buy a little slice of paradise in Italy and raise babies. It would be everything you ever wanted.”
“You would leave your husband for that?” I asked.
“Duncan!” Eloise rapped. “We are going to lose our spot in the pattern. Can you please come sit?”
“Who is that?” Nessa asked.
The woman I think I’m falling for. I felt like a cheating piece of shit talking to Nessa.
“No one,” I lied. “I gotta go, okay?”
“Tell me for a fact you wouldn’t have done it differently,” Nessa leveled. “We shared all of this. We shared a life, Duncan. I regret so much.”
“I do, too,” I said, “but we’re not a thing, Ness. I must go.”
I hung up, unlocked the door, and promptly left to my seat.
Eloise sat diagonally, looking uncomfortable and concerned.
Guilt surged. I never should have answered Nessa.
I should have brought Eloise a tea or something to settle her stomach or make her feel at ease.
I couldn’t be here with her and still live in the past.