Chapter 57
BELOVED
ELOISE
“Welcome back,” I heard as I opened my eyes.
“What happened?”
“Well, you passed out, I freaked out, we had a love child, you went to surgery, I disputed the matter of a love child, and then you woke up.”
Duncan sat in a very uncomfortable looking chair.
“We had a love child?”
“Theoretically,” Duncan said. “That was a line of reasoning for a bit. You were simultaneously the opposite of pregnant and pregnant all at once. Wild ride, huh?”
“I am so confused.
“They’ll be lots of time to talk later. For now, I can say you are lucky. Your appendix burst, they did something to remove the ick within, and now you must stay in hospital for a few days. But the important part? You’re going to be fine. And no, there is no love child.”
“Thank God.”
“It will be okay. The press went a bit mad.”
“So people… know?”
He sat back, taking a deep breath.
“What? Duncan, tell me.” Instinctively, I tried to sit up.
Duncan hopped up. “You’re not supposed to be moving. Let me put the bed up.”
He adjusted it slightly. “Mum knows… dad, too. I cannot lie to her.”
“So I’m getting sacked.”
“You’re not getting sacked! God. I got an earful from her but mainly because men in our family tend to do stupid things and she was certain I was taking advantage. And Mo called. She gave me the third degree, but it’s fine. I’m a big boy. I can take the heat.”
He squeezed my hand tight, melting me. This was the tender man I fell for, but the nagging doubt pulled me back to reality.
I sighed, “Duncan… so much is broken. I just need you to be honest. I know I’m broken, but I’m still livid and concerned about how your actions impact my future.”
“I know I’m not off the hook.” Duncan stared at our hands. “I know you are cross. You have every right to walk away—”
“That’s gotten more difficult, hasn’t it? Due to your outburst—”
“Ella, I care about you. It frightened me. My reaction was genuine, not calculated.”
“I know,” I admitted. “You are terrible at containing your feelings.”
He looked to me again. “And, thus, I am an open book. Ella, I do still love her in a way. I won’t blow smoke.
But the way I love her is in some nostalgic world where everything was fine and broken all at once.
The thing is, everything became toxic and the woman I fell in love with was never right for me.
She just kept trying to change me. Yes, she rang me. ”
“Why did you bother to answer?” I leveled, unsatisfied.
“As I said, I worried she might have another story from the press to warn me about. It wasn’t about wanting to get back together with her. As soon as I realized it wasn’t like that, I realized I didn’t want her back.”
“And calling her Joe?”
“It wasn’t about you. It was in case someone else went through my phone without authorization, Ella.
I am paranoid and that’s why I never text you.
It looks bad. I understand if you need time, but damn it, Eloise, I don’t want to have this ruin everything.
Ask your friend. She called to interrogate me. ”
“Mo interrogated you?”
“In French!”
I giggled. It could have been the pain meds, but it was so like her. She didn’t care who he was. She put him on blast for me.
“It was all worth it. She’s on a plane headed here right now. She wanted to stay with you since I cannot.”
The idea of him leaving saddened me, even if the promise of my bestie boosted me. I knew that meant something. I needed him. There was something there worth preserving.
“I will stay here until she arrives in the morning, Ella. But you know—”
“No, it makes sense,” I said.
“I’m sorry, darling.”
“It’s okay,” I said. “Don’t stop on account of me.
I spent hours helping book every aspect of this god damn trip.
I want you to go. And this… I will have to try and trust you.
I can’t understand loving someone when you care about someone else, but I can appreciate you went through a decade with her. ”
He kissed my hand. “It’s over. I blocked her.”
He handed me his phone and showed me proof. “If something comes out, I will take it on the chin. But I cannot let her back in under any guise. If this is about us—about you and me—I want it to be free and clear, Eloise.”
He brushed my cheek and I didn’t pull away. “I plan to continue—working twice as hard to prove myself. I would hate for this goodwill tour to go to waste. When the woman I love put way too much work into it and I would blow it all up for some selfish reason.”
Did I wake up in another world? A world in which Duncan loved me?
“You… you…” I stammered, unable to ask him what I wanted.
We were interrupted. “Miss Mills? Eloise Mills?”
A doctor appeared at the foot of the bed.
“I’m Doctor Hadid. I did your surgery,” he said. “How are you feeling?”
“I am sore.”
“You’re sore because we had to open you up quite a bit. But two or three weeks and you’ll be good as new.”
“I cannot be off work for that long. We’re supposed to be all over America—”
“You have an open incision draining that was full of infection. You’ll be in the hospital for three or four days before we will even sew you up completely.”
I wanted to vomit thinking about that. Duncan didn’t flinch. Thank God one of us wasn’t squeamish.
“It’s going to be okay, darling,” Duncan said. “Promise.”
I had to trust him. And he loved me? What was that about? No man had ever told me that. It’s not liked I’d ever felt this much about anyone.
The doctor explained my recovery and restrictions in a such simple way, as if it were so easy and nothing much was wrong. Then, he left with a polite smile. I turned back to Duncan and worried he was about to meltdown over the change of plans.
“You can make it, Eloise. Promise. I know it sucks. Trust me, I don’t like it at all,” Duncan said.
“I will make it work. But… can we talk about something?”
“Sure. What’s up?”
“Did you say you loved me?” I asked, almost pained.
“Did I? Well, yes. Possibly? I don’t recall saying it. I did tell Monique I loved you which was… awkward.”
“What!?” I laughed so hard it hurt.
“Not my finest moment, Ella.”
“Okay, fair, but that’s adorable, Duncan. Oh, that’s so sweet.”
He blushed. “It was… off the cuff.”
“So very you, Duncan.”
“It was genuine—not calculated, Ella. You make me mad. I hope you can trust that—”
“I do,” I said. “You owe me a lot more good behavior.”
“I will be on the best behavior, Miss Mills.” He kissed my hand. “Because you mean the world to me. You believe in me when no one else does. I love you for all you are—but that means so much, my love.”
Tears welled not due to pain but from believing him.
“I don’t know if I love you. I want to. I want to trust you and fall so much harder and deeper.
I also don’t know what love is, but I think this might be it,” I said.
“And when I’m ready, I will be sure to tell Monique so she can tell you and we can play a game of telephone. ”
“God, poor Monique!”
“Indeed,” I said. “You really love me?”
“Yes. And I don’t understand it any more than you do. We’re a very unlikely pair, but I need you and only you,” Duncan said. “And if I had a doubt, it was probably cleared up watching you crumple on the sidelines while I worried about losing you forever.”
“Is that how your mom knew?”
“She saw the video of me hopping off the damn stage, yes. And she didn’t buy my bullshit at all.”
I snickered. “I cannot wait to watch the memes!”