Chapter 24
twenty-four
ASTRID
The music ended, but my beating heart grew stronger and louder. Staring at Parker, looking so unlike the wiry, grumpy scholar I knew, I held on. I told myself to drop his hand. My job was done here, but I couldn't do it. He looked at me—eyes less hungry than soft. What was this? It wasn’t lust. Lust set me into overdrive before I’d used a vision of him to get off.
I didn’t want to climb him like a tree right now or have him snog me like a wanton teenager. I wanted him to kiss me—gently and purely—and to lavish me with sweet praises. I saw hidden softness within him, and I wanted to know more. The look of him in a tux didn’t hurt. He was a fucking dream like this. Oh, who was I kidding, of course, I would have let him run me off to god knows where eventually!
Fearing I might say or do something I'd regret next week, I pulled back. My face stayed neutral. I would be polite and nothing more.
“Thank you.”
I strode away, knowing that if I stayed, I would do something I couldn’t take back. That realisation shook me. I grabbed Amara, dragging her into the hall .
“What, darling?” Amara asked.
“I need to just... talk me down!“
“What, are you about to smack Parker? Is the Dickish Duke being an asshole?”
“No, it was the opposite . He had the gall to ask me for a dance! Why?”
“Because you're both big fish here, and it only makes sense?”
“We hate one another.”
“Yes, just enough to be a perfect pair the other night at Niall's!”
“I don't like him! That was about winning. Both of us are competitive.”
“Clearly! But, darling, the way you just looked at one another?—”
“I don't want him. I want Jeremy! I wanted to have Jeremy take me home! Not Parker.”
She snickered. “Can you not have both? Try it on and see which suits you?”
“Parker is an asshole. He's been a dick to me!”
“He's awkward and bad at this. He's also a nerd—like you. You two are both cleverer than everyone else.”
“We bring out the worst in one another!”
“Or do you? So, this project you're working on. How is that going? Did you learn lots?”
I did. In three weeks of working on it, I’d learned more than my academic life combined. It was a steep learning curve. I was never challenged in my undergraduate studies and finished my degree without issue in three years. Now, I flexed models and excelled at analysis. I'd met my rival and match in Parker.
“Yes, of course.”
“And teaching? You two do well together?”
“I hate it, but yes.”
“Girl, I bet the two of you would have fabulous hate sex. Shag him!”
I already contemplated that.
“No,” I shook my head. “You don't understand. Aristocrats are a different bag.”
“We're all nepobabies?—”
“If we become linked, all hell breaks loose for both of us in a way you'd not understand, Amara. Just trust me. It will become A Thing, even if it's hate sex. And… we’re coworkers.”
She didn't buy it. “Well, have it your way, but if you want him, get it!”
I wanted Jeremy, right? Parker should have been further from my mind, but I couldn’t shake a desire for him to kiss me. Parker was my intellectual match, my only competition, and now something more. His doubt in my abilities first made me want to outperform him. Now, the look he gave me while we danced made holding back my feelings into a losing game. I wanted him to dote and tell me how badly he wanted me.