Chapter 50
fifty
ASTRID
Men were assholes. I knew it! So did Alexandra. So, we had to whinge about them over a couple’s massage. It was scheduled for Alexandra and Rick, but Rick split because he wanted to bring Parker to a brewery. It was all ridiculous. I gave up trying to understand. They got on fine, which was massive. I could complain, but not about how well Rick accepted my new beau. Alexandra intended the massage to relax her before our old bat of a grandmother arrived.
“He just wants a baby. Tells me nonstop. It’s not helpful.”
“Stop having sex with him,” I said.
“Then I’ll be miserable,” Alexandra moaned. “Oh, my God, it’s so hard. I know I’m about to ovulate right now. And I have choices .”
“How do you know.”
“I was tracking my cycle. I got a bit of pain before. That makes me want to climb him like a tree.”
I giggled. “I get that for no reason at all.”
“It’s new. And you should! I am happy for you. He seems like a nice guy. He’s kind.”
“He is. He is awkward, honest, and lacks social graces when flustered. However, he is gentle with me in a way I never anticipated. I told him I loved him, Alex. How, how can I love him already?”
She smiled at me, “Because you have good chemistry and share a lot. It’s okay. Lean into it. It must be easier to have things in common.”
“You have things in common with Rick.”
“Yeah, like wanting to have sex all the time?”
“And good food, wine, and horses,” I said. “Plus beer. And the theatre.”
Alexandra let out a long groan. “Sorry. That just felt wonderful. Can you really dig in there?”
The massage therapist agreed. “Yes, ma’am.”
“Men are stupid,” I laughed. “But Parker is still quite good. He supports me. He says he’s proud of me.”
“Aww, that’s good, Asti.”
“I guess. Alex, can I ask you something?”
I had to be brave. I’d never have Alex’s full attention again. There were no hangers-on and no babies. And, as Parker said, she loved me and would want to know.
“Anything, darling.”
“My advisor asked me to join the doctoral program. It’s such an honour. That’s why Parker is so proud of me. But… it means years more of university.”
“How long?”
“Well, at least three more years,” I answered. “But, Alex, I know that’s unfair to you. Especially if you’re all about to have another baby.”
There was a pause.
“Astrid, look at me.”
I popped up from the massage table and stared at Alexandra.
“We didn’t go through hell to live our lives in fear and depression. If I were to tell you to run right back, I’d be selfish. When you left the house, I said I wanted you to fly. And you have flown! Keep going. Don’t run home out of obligation. We will be fine. Odette will start work soon and Ingrid is growing so fast. Life is changing, but that’s not a bad thing.”
“Ingrid looks too grown.”
“She’s gorgeous. When she starts dating, we’ll all lose it,” Alexandra said. “No one more than Rick, who I think wants another because Baby Ingrid was supplanted by Womanly Ingrid overnight.”
My sister had grown into herself—from lanky pre-teen to all-too-elegant teenager. If I had to bet money on which of us would be the incredible beauty, I was now putting money on Ingrid.
“It’s hard. I was almost startled when I saw that picture of her going to the dance with that boy.”
“Oh, that boy.” Alexandra giggled. “Rick was all prepared to play hardball with him about the dance. Instead, he was so polite and very, very effeminate. Later, we discovered she had gone with him because his parents hadn’t let him take his boyfriend. Narrow-minded assholes.”
“Rick’s mouth is rubbing off on you, Alexandra.”
“Sorry.”
“No, don’t apologise. I like your salty vocabulary..”
“Go, Astrid. Go, be free. But just to be clear, Parker doesn’t factor into this?”
“I dunno. I want to stay with him, but who knows? He doesn’t even know where he’ll be in September. We’re just feeling it out. I love research, and my faculty thinks I am good at it. I worked so hard?—”
“Too hard to give up. And, as you always say, Deschamps girls don’t give up,” Alexandra asserted. “Go. Be brave!”