Chapter 26
Ani
It’s peaceful.
The last time I was in a stream, I was scared for my life. Now, I can drift peacefully with a careful pair of eyes watching me. I smile at him and he coos back, a pleased expression on his face.
I didn’t know that I could grow to need someone on a level this deep before any of these events played out.
Flashes of my dating life come to me as I grimace, thinking of how it was simply a game of using each other.
Leeching off of people in that way has a way of wearing out your soul on the inside.
My relationship with Szhe’ka thus far has been nothing like that; it hasn’t been transactional in any way. Even though it had started off rocky and hostile, it had blossomed into something… genuine.
It makes me feel unsettled and calm at the same time, and I don’t know how the two can coexist.
This planet has done nothing but harm me and change me in the most intimate of ways and somehow, through it all, Szhe’ka has been the only constant song worth singing to me.
The only thing keeping me from climbing a really tall tree and plummeting to my death.
That and the fact that I realistically can’t climb a tree.
Still, I cannot wait to get out of here.
I climb out of the stream and on to the banks, waiting to dry off while Szhe’ka is at the stream, hunched over drinking water with his eyes glued to his surroundings. A stray thought flits through my mind as I watch him.
I really wish he’d at least taken a dip in the stream with me but I understand why he didn’t.
After a while, I realize I’m inviting a sunburn and suggest we return to our little camp. We barely start back before Szhe’ka stiffens, turning to face where he must have heard something. I brace myself for a fight, no matter how futile, when a familiar brown and white zips into my view.
“Azoeul.” I hiss out, placing a hand on my chest. “You scared me.”
“I was looking for both of you all over” he says and pushes aside the stick I hadn’t realized I had picked up in an attempt at self defense.
I relax my stance. “Sorry. We needed a drink and I needed just a little bit more than that.”
Szhe’ka sings a greeting to Azoeul and asks him why he’s here.
“I encountered the hunters,” he starts and my throat runs dry immediately. “Far from here. There were only a few and I dealt with them, but it made me realize that you were both in poor health. I couldn’t leave you unarmed.”
Szhe’ka looms over me and lets out an unfriendly grunt. “We are fine. You need not return.”
I walk out from under Szhe’ka’s shadow settling down not too far from where he is seated, while Szhe’ka seemed to prefer to remain standing.
“It seems I was right to. Did they come back here? You have changed even more,” he points out, taking my face in his hand and peering intently into my eyes.
I involuntarily flinch away from him, clearly scaring him. He settles down but I can tell he’s still concerned.
“It happened after I came in contact with them last time. Szhe’ka and I are fine, waiting on your message.’” I assure him, discomfort suddenly overtaking the entire place.
I can feel Szhe’ka’s eyes on us; he is clearly greatly annoyed by Azoeul’s sudden return and the discomfort only grows.
“We are safe. If anything happens, I protect Ani,” he lets out.
The strain is evident on his face and there is a similar strained tone to Azoeul’s reply when it comes.
“I am worried for you both. Don’t be stubborn; you will only end up dead.”
I watch them for a little bit until I realize what is happening.
Szhe’ka is jealous.
Like really, really jealous. My face starts to warm up at the thought of how flattering it is and butterflies start to get zoomies in the pit of my stomach but now is not the time for any of this; we can’t afford to start petty squabbles about irrelevant things. I need to nip this in the bud quickly.
“Stop it,” I hiss.
While it is sweet, they’re giving me a headache.
“I can only take this for so long before you two give me a new problem. Szhe’ka, there’s nothing wrong with being protected. That being said, Azoeul just cares about my well-being. You can’t blame him.”
Szhe’ka lowers his head as he processes my words so I turn to Azoeul.
“While it is great that you’re protecting us, Szhe’ka is upset that it isn’t him.”
Azoeul grunts, then looks me over. “He has helped heal you, at least.”
I glance down to what should be open wounds and huge bruises, remembering that I should also be in pain with each intake of breath after the way my ribs cracked.
It’s an inhumane speed to heal at and I know that I shouldn’t even be able to open my eyes after the kind of beating, but here I am with minimal pain and almost completely healed.
“I will go to the stream and wash,” Azoeul announces before leaving just as quickly as he came around.
I turn to Szhe’ka.
“Do you not like him?” I ask him, wanting to understand whether it is just jealousy or something deeper. He didn’t seem to know Azoeul when they first met but the hostility every time they have to interact is so palpable you can taste it. If he knows something, I would like to know it as well.
“No, he is...” he trails off, looking away.
“What?”
“He saved you. It should have been me.” He mutters in a low voice, his face drooping slightly in shame and I feel like giving him a big old hug.
I know that the only reason he is able to look at my face is because the bruises are nearly gone.
He has not stopped torturing himself about the beating that the hunter gave me.
My not wanting to talk about things must have made him think I held some kind of grudge with him about not being there.
That couldn’t be further from the truth.
“Szhe’ka, you’re just tired. I saved him first, remember?” I joke and Szhe’ka chortles back.
His laugh holds no mirth at all, just the same bitter undertone that seems to have colored all of our recent interactions.
“You are a fighter, Ani,” he praises and my cheeks burn hot. He seems to recognize it and one of his fingers rubs gently against it.
“Then stop worrying. I’m here with you now,” I assure him, placing both my hands on his while bringing them closer to my face.
I don’t know if I will ever be able to talk about what the hunter that captured me did to me. I don’t know if I can find the right words to say to assuage his guilt and I don’t think I want to try. It might not be the healthiest thing but maybe forgetting about it is all I can do to move on.
I’m just happy to be alive and I want both males to understand that. Between Szhe’ka’s constant worrying and Azoeul insisting on “making sure we’re okay” I’m feeling a little like a child who can’t handle themselves and it’s not fun.