Chapter Nine
Tiana
I smooth my dress over my hips, giving myself a final once-over before heading back to the restaurant.
Holy shit!
That was one of the most intense experiences of my life.
As I smooth away unruly stray hairs and try not to lick my lips in an overtly suggestive way, I ponder my predicament.
Here I am, totally tangled up with Kirill, even more so than before.
Every time I think I’ve figured this man out, he goes and does something to completely upend my carefully laid plans.
My plans.
Every time I think of getting away to save myself and my baby from this Bratva life, my heart breaks a little.
Not to mention that I still don’t know if I’m ever going to be able to pull it off.
Even if I manage escape like last time, I won’t last very long out there.
FBI Agent Asshole and the others will be on my tail as soon as I leave the estate.
I need to be smarter than I was last time.
But how am I supposed to figure this out when Kirill has me falling head over heels for him every time he’s around me?
Calm down, Tee.
I can’t let one amazing, mind-blowing lovemaking session lead me to believe that things are going to be right between us.
There are just too many complications. My mind races, running through the usual laundry list of dramas – my father’s death, the FBI, Kirill’s wife in the background, the story Roxie told me, and my impending motherhood.
All of these should spell turmoil for any normal person, and yet…
And yet, I am still consumed by the idea of being with him.
For whatever bizarre reason, it’s like we are pulled towards each other like two magnets.
And I don’t understand it. Despite all of the dark clouds looming over us, Kirill and I have built an intense, combustible connection that seems to override sense or reason.
And I can’t decide if it’s real or I’m just being a naive teenager with raging hormones.
Maybe seeing him at his most vulnerable, mourning the loss of his mother, did something to me.
Maybe it’s because I know what it feels like to lose a mother.
And as hard as he appears, I know how much he loved her.
He’s shown me that he’s capable of that emotion.
I catch a glimpse of him across the room; tall, imposing, dominating the space in the way he always does and I allow my heart to warm for a moment.
What if I’m missing something?
I shake the thoughts off. As bad as my hormones want me to believe that Kirill Vyronov is a good man, I cannot simply forget about the things that happened, the things that I learned about him.
There are red flags everywhere and I can’t just ignore them.
But before I could allow myself to get lost in my thoughts even more, I sense a shift in the atmosphere around me.
I turn and see Zoya sauntering toward me, her steps confident, her gaze piercing.
“Well look at you,” she says, her voice like silk wrapped around steel, “Don’t you look gorgeous tonight, sweetie.” Immediately she’s ruffling my feathers. The woman can’t be more than ten years older than me, but she treats me like a child.
“Not more than you do, Zoya.” I nod my head and muster up a smile.
“You did a wonderful job of the funeral. Kirill must be quite pleased.” It’s a compliment, but somehow, it doesn’t feel that way.
“I’m sure he’ll share his thoughts with me once we get home.” I play along, putting emphasis on the last word.
Zoya’s smile doesn’t slip, but her eyes flicker. She chuckles; it’s tinkling and high-pitched. “Of course. Knowing Kirill, I bet he can’t wait to be alone with you.”
“Maybe,” I reply, trying to sound nonchalant.
“I’m sure.” She winks, then glances around as if she’s making sure nobody’s listening.
“There is something I need to tell you, darling.” She whispers, linking a hand through my elbow and putting a bit of pressure on it as if to guide me.
I resist a little. “It’s important. And it should be said in private.
” She tilts her head, not moving her hand.
“Make it quick, Zoya.” I purse my lips. “You know I can’t stay out of Kirill’s sight for very long.”
She gives a small snort as I allow her to lead me to a quiet corner of the room.
There’s an exit door there that I hadn’t noticed before.
She looks around us and then pushes it open.
We emerge onto a secluded paved patio that carries the lingering scent of cigarettes.
I find it odd that the restaurant would have a smoking zone when nobody inside seems to care about the dangers of nicotine.
I’m sure they’re more worried about lead poisoning – in the form of bullets.
With all the smokers inside, it’s unlikely we’ll be interrupted.
“Look, Tiana.” Zoya turns to face me, her features shadowed in the dim light. “I know what’s going on between you and Kirill and I’m in no position to object to it. But there’s something you should know. Something Kirill will never tell you…” She leaves the sentence hanging.
“And what would that be?” I ask, turning to face her.
“I’ll keep it short.” She heaves a sigh as if mulling something over, and somehow, I feel like it’s all for show.
“You see, information is the best currency. Which is why I kept myself busy while I was in hiding. A woman in my situation needs… insurance. Who knows when Kirill might change his mind about keeping me safe. You understand?”
“Right.” I fold my arms over my chest. “What does that have to do with me?”
“More than you think. I learned a lot about Kirill’s business during that time. And your name… well, let’s just say that it came up a few times.”
“My name?” I tilt my head, wondering where she’s going with this.
“Well, your father’s name. Avants… I’m afraid he wasn’t who you think he was, dear.”
“If you’re going to tell me that my father was involved in dirty deals, it’s not news to me.”
“Of course not. You’re a smart girl. But how much do you know about his relationship with Kirill?”
“My father worked for his family.”
“That’s right. But their relationship goes way back, darling. Longer than you realize.”
I want to tell her that I’m not her darling, but I feel myself buckling as my need for answers begins to gnaw at me. “What are you getting at?”
“Well, back in the day, Kirill cut his teeth in this business by keeping… well, some people in line. Your father was one of them.”
I shake my head, feeling a furrow form between my brows. “You’re not telling me anything new. I know that my father was afraid of Kirill. I saw them together before-” I can’t say “before my father died”. As distant as it seems, the whole thing only happened a few weeks ago.
“I’m not talking about now, Tiana.” She steps a little closer. “I mean many years ago. When you were just a girl.”
My frown deepens. “So?”
“Well, there’s no easy way to say this, darling, so forgive me if I sound raw.” She draws a deep breath and looks me in the eye as if she’s waiting for a reaction. “When Kirill was sent to straighten your father out, he did it by killing your mother.”
I gasp so sharply that I start to choke.
Suddenly, I can’t find breath, my eyes watering as I try to regain my composure, coughing and spluttering. I feel her hand on my shoulder, and I pull away from her.
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I know this must come as a shock.” Her tone is soothing without a drop of sincerity to it.
Still trying to gather my surroundings, I back away from her. I stop when I bump into a small wrought iron chair, and put my hand onto the back of it to stabilize myself. “Why are you telling me this? Why should I believe you?” I choke out, fighting tears.
“I thought you might say that. Which is why I brought this.” She reaches into her oversized purse and pulls out a folded-up sheaf of papers. She holds it out to me.
I stare down at it for a moment. When I don’t take the pages, she shakes them slightly.
“I know this is a lot to take in, darling. But it’s not going to go away just because you want to ignore it.” She gives me an encouraging smile.
I want to slap her, tell her that she’s a liar and then run away, but I find myself reaching for the paper instead.
“The light is better over there.” She nods toward where a light is shining over a nearby table.
I ignore her, squinting at the printed pages.
It only takes me a moment before I’m reaching out for the back of the chair again.
And then I slump onto it. The cold metal isn’t nearly as icy as the grip on my chest.
“It’s a transcript. From the FBI archives,” Zoya says, taking a seat across from me. She wrinkles her nose as she flicks away a cigarette butt, then reaches over and taps a red fingernail on an official FBI logo and stamp at the top of the page. “As you can see, the contents are self-explanatory.
I don’t respond. I’m too busy reading the details of a wire-tapped phone call between Kirill and someone called Oleg Solokov, who is described in the report as his boss at the time.
“What about Avants?” Solokov had said.
“I got it. No problem,” had been Kirill’s response.
“You didn’t waste him, did you? That would be bad for business.”
Kirill’s reply is what has my heart pounding in my throat.
“Not Avants. I focused on the wife. She’s been taken care of.”
I realize that I’m fighting for breath, and I try to pull myself together.
There’s no way I’m going to have a panic attack in front of Zoya.
But my entire body is shaking as I try to take in everything that’s laid out in front of me.
My eyes continue moving down the page until the words start to blur.
I glance again at the top where the logo and the stamp are.
“Federal Bureau of Investigation,” it reads.
When I feel like I’ve seen enough, I fold the pages and set them on the table in front of me.
“How did you get this?” My voice comes out as a breathless whisper as I glare at the woman sitting across from me.
“That is not important.”
“It is to me! Tell me where you found this information?”
“Look.” She lifts a hand. “I’ve already told you more than what’s safe.”
“More than what’s safe?” I narrow my eyes. “Is that a threat?”
“It is to me!” she sneers. “All I am saying is that you are walking on dangerous territory, Tiana. As long as you’re in Kirill’s world, your life and everyone that’s important to you is in danger.”
I rub my eyes, still trying to process everything I just learned.
“How do I know it’s not fake?” I want proof. I want some sort of assurance that this is all real.
Zoya gives a little laugh. “You really want to think the best of him, don’t you?” She shrugs. “No matter. If you cannot see sense, at least I can leave here knowing I did my best.”
“Your best?” I give a humorless laugh. “To do what? Get rid of me so you can try your luck with Kirill?”
“I don’t need luck for that, girl,” she snaps, giving me a villainous glance. “I’m his wife, remember? And you’re someone he bought at an auction, glupaya devchonka .”
“Then why show me?” My voice is shaking. I can’t help it. What I’ve just learned has shaken me to my core.
“Let’s just say… What would you Americans call it? Girl code?” She winks.
“You want me to believe you’re looking out for me?” I scoff.
“Don’t flatter yourself, child. I’m not. But as a woman, I can’t let an innocent child come into a world like this.” She splays her hands casually… while I’ve stopped breathing again.
I was right!
She knows I’m pregnant!
“What do you mean?” I blurt, shooting to my feet.
“You know exactly what I mean, Tiana. Do you want to raise a child with the man who murdered your mother?” She leaves the question hanging, and I’m speechless.
I shake my head. “How could you be so sure that I’m…” I croak out. It’s a feeble attempt at a diversion. She already raised my pregnancy once before, and I’d thought she’d planned to blackmail me with it. Now I know how she’d intended to use it as leverage.
“Are you really going to try to hide it?” Her eyebrow lifts. “Come on. We’re both women; let’s not play games like this.”
I don’t have the mental capacity to deny it right now. I’ve just been hit with too many revelations. “Why do you care about me?”
“Who said I do?” She gives a little sniff, nostrils flaring delicately.
“You’re a grown woman. You do what you want with your life.
But a child? I child needs a loving family, not the Bratva.
I know what it’s like to be raised by the Bratva – my father was high in the ranks.
And as for how Kirill has reacted to learning about Stepan…
Do you want that for your child, too? Because I wouldn’t wish that on an innocent. ”
I don’t say anything, because what would I say anyway. I just stand there staring at her with my mouth hanging open, watching her as she crosses her legs, eyeing me coolly. I have no words.
Jesus Christ, Tee.
What have you done to deserve all this?
I glance back down at the papers. They seem legit. Not that I know much about such things. But then again, barely a week ago, I was tied up in the back of an FBI surveillance van, so maybe I’ve been getting a crash course in the subject.
“So?” She aims those cold eyes on me, waiting for a response.
“So what?” It’s a stupid question, but I’m at a loss.
“What are you going to do?” She glances at the door back into the restaurant. I stare at it too.
My mind is racing and I sway slightly as I keep staring at the door. I think of my mother and all the years that I’ve lost. The childhood I never had. The long years I spent inside my room because my father locked me in there. I rest a hand over my belly, sensing the tiny life growing there.
This is too much.
It doesn’t matter how much I love Kirill and that he's the father of my child. I’ve been torn between staying with him and leaving him long enough.
But this? This is the last nail in the coffin.
If this is true, and he knew all along that he’s screwing the daughter of the woman he murdered, then he’s more messed up than I ever thought.
If this is true, then he has to pay.
For my mother. For making my whole life a misery.
Without another look at where Zoya is still sitting at the table, I stand on my feet and stride across the patio to where the paving meets the garden. Beyond it, the restaurant’s back exit glows through the evening gloom. It’s quiet out here now, with everyone inside.
So I walk away from Zoya, head toward the exit, and while nobody is watching, I run.