Chapter 20 Livy
LIVY
By the time I reach the rugby stadium, the place is already buzzing with energy. Stadium lights shine across the field, and crowds of students in school colors are flooding through the entrances.
Everything is baby blue and sage green all mingling together.
My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s echoing in my ears as I push my way toward the players’ entry area near the side of the stadium.
I don’t need to bribe my way in, because I already see him. He’s not even dressed for the game, which makes no sense. I wasn’t sure if he would already be on the field when I started my way over here.
The man who promised me I’d never sleep without him again looks like he isn’t in any hurry to get ready for the game.
He insisted I come here with his name plastered on my back no less.
So I’m wondering why he’s letting some girl hang on his arm, and why is he looking down at her the same broodingly possessive way he looks at me?
The sight of them together hits me so hard it feels like someone just drove a fist straight through my chest. But as I get closer, the angle shifts.
Something feels really off. Why is he dressed like that?
I’ve only ever seen him in Knights hoodies.
He’s in a button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
And what is going on with his hair? It’s styled, not just messy and cute.
I’ve never seen the girl before, and I’m sure if I’d seen him with her she would have stuck out.
I would have noticed her. She’s beautiful with piercing blue eyes and pouty lips.
He’s looking at her like she’s his entire world.
He’s looking at her like he looks at me, and I feel like I’m going to vomit right here.
My chest burns and I feel stupid.
So unbelievably stupid.
Because last night I was lying in bed with him, trusting him with parts of myself I’ve never trusted anyone with before. And the entire time he was watching me through cameras like I’m some kind of science project. The humiliation mixes with the anger until it feels like I might explode.
I point at him before I can stop myself.
“You!”
My voice comes out breathless and sharp, drawing a few curious glances from the crowd pushing past us toward the stadium.
“I know you were in my room!” I absolutely hate how my voice shakes. I hate showing weakness to anyone, and that’s exactly how I feel right now.
Like a fool who was played so easily.
Sebastian’s expression barely changes from the moment his eyes spot me. He doesn’t look shocked, he doesn’t look surprised. He looks so annoyed, and that only makes me angrier.
Worried about my safety, my ass.
Is he kidding me right now? If he was playing me the entire time, why was he watching my every move? There wasn’t just one camera in my room for funsies. The dude had mastered the art of the angle.
I look at Sebastian expectantly, and then when he does look like he’s going to say something finally, a huge wave of rage overtakes me.
Does he message this girl all day long asking her if she’s eaten?
Does he keep a running tally on how much water she’s drinking and threaten to spank her if she falls short?
What the fuck is happening right now? I feel like I’m in the Twilight Zone.
“Don’t even try to deny it,” I snap, my finger still pointed straight at his chest. “I found the cameras, Sebastian. All of them.”
The words taste bitter in my mouth because while I’m not giving him a chance to speak, I really do want answers. Is this just something he does for fun? Did someone set him up to do this? Is he sending the footage of me to the man who’s been stalking me?
My blood feels like it’s running cold now, and I feel lightheaded at the possibilities.
“I turned the cameras into the Dean’s office.
They did nothing, by the way. So I don’t know who you think you are or what kind of power you think you have here, but I’m not going to put up with it.
” My voice shakes slightly on the last part, but I force myself to keep going.
I’m lying. I didn’t report anything to the university.
They wouldn’t do anything about it, but I’m just so hurt and angry that I can’t help myself.
I turn to the girl beside him, and she looks completely confused. I can tell she has no idea what’s happening, and for a moment my anger softens just a little. If she’s caught up in whatever Sebastian is doing, she probably doesn’t even realize it yet.
“I won’t tell you what to do,” I say to her, my voice quieter now, “but if you need help getting away from him, I live in the Windham dorm.” I’d help her even if she came and found me months from now. I don’t want anyone to feel how I feel in this moment.
Her brows knit together slightly, clearly trying to process what I’m saying.
“I mean it,” I add softly, and then I step back and turn to leave before either of them can respond. My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it might crack through my ribs. When the adrenaline fades, something colder settles into its place.
Now that I’m walking away, the moment keeps replaying in my head.
The way he looked at me like he was so cold, almost like he’d never seen me before in his life.
The way he held himself, too. He seemed poised, controlled, not the crash out I’m used to.
Does he have different personalities for all of his girlfriends?
The worst part is the ache still sitting in the center of my chest even though I’m furious with him.
I’m so mad at myself.
Mad that I trusted him.
Mad that I let myself fall for him so quickly.
I’m halfway back to my dorm when I get a text from Sebastian.
Game is starting soon. I’m headed out on the field, baby. I can’t wait to see you.
I’m going to black out. Seriously, I’m going to finally snap.
He’s clearly playing games with me. I block his number and start to put my phone back in my pocket.
But then something occurs to me. If he didn’t want the other girl to know what was going on with me, and now he’s playing with my head to see how far he can push things, he’s probably going to pop up at my dorm when the game is over.
I tap out a quick text to Juniper.
I don’t want to be home tonight, so let’s go to that party when you’re finished watching the rugby game.
I pass Ronan and I have to compose myself because I don’t want to take things out on him that aren’t his fault.
“Are you okay, Liv?” he asks, and this is exactly what I’m talking about. No one has ever called me Liv. Why is he starting now? It sounds stupid, but that irks me so much.
“I’m okay, just a long day. I’m headed home to get some rest,” I say, thinking he will take the hint, but he doesn’t.
“Do you want some company?” he smiles, turning so he’s facing the same direction I’m headed in now.
I’m going to scream.
I hold it together enough to say, “I’m actually going to take a hot shower and see if I can get this headache to go away.” I think that will do it. I think that will be enough, but it’s not.
“I don’t mind. I can hang in your room and wait for you, or sit on the sink and talk to you while you shower.” I’m seriously going to throw up on him. I’m going to knee him in the crotch and puke on him when he’s lying there in pain.
I hate it here.
I start to tell him no, but we’re interrupted by Soph who seems to be headed to work by the way she’s dressed. I’m not sure why she’s on campus because she doesn’t go to school here, but I’m so thankful to see her.
“You’re a creep, and I mean that with as much offense as possible,” she says, grabbing my arm and pulling me with her. She looks at me, “You don’t have to be nice to guys like that. I heard what he said to you.”
I don’t turn around to see if Ronan is still there or if he went off to lick his wounds, but I do say, “Thanks. It’s been a shitty day.”
“Where are you headed?” she asks, and I point over at my dorm.
“Lock your door, that fucker is a creep,” she says with a laugh, but I can tell she’s serious.“I’m gonna be late for work, she you later!” she yells, taking off at a jog in the direction of The Red Boot.
My phone buzzes, and it’s a text from Juniper.
Yay! I’ll come find you right after the game.
I send her one more, just to be sure.
Kalen won’t be mad, will he?
Dots pop up to tell me she’s typing, and then her next text pops up on my screen.
Of course he will. That’s the whole fun of it.