Epilogue
LIVY
Iwake up feeling…warm.
Not just warm, but boneless and full? Like every part of me is loose and soft and completely, completely satisfied.
And then I feel him.
The weight of Sebastian over me. The heat of his body pressed into mine.
The way his breath ghosts over my neck like he’s been here for a while already.
I realize that he’s already inside of me, and the way my body is tingling, it feels like I’m ready to come, and I haven’t been awake for even thirty seconds.
He fell asleep inside of me last night, still half hard and refusing to pull out.
I just fucking love this man.
My lips part slightly, a slow inhale pulling into my lungs as my fingers curl into the sheets.
“Sebastian…” I murmur, still half asleep, still floating somewhere between dreaming and waking.
His hand slides up my side slowly, and I feel the way his chest moves against mine as he fucks me.
“I couldn’t resist you, baby,” he says softly against my skin, his voice rough in that way that always makes me melt. “We have such a big day ahead of us, but I need to feel you come on my cock first. Can you do that for me?”
It’s like his words paired with his fingers that move between us on my clit order me to come, and I do. I buck up against him and my body arches. Pleasure floods through my body and he picks up his pace, fucking me harder chasing his own relief.
Before I know it, he’s filling me, his hand around my neck, forcing me to look up at him. “You’re my good fucking girl,” he grits out as he spills the last of himself inside of me and then buries his face in my neck to catch his breath.
My brows pull together slightly as I think about what he said once my brain isn’t so foggy from the orgasm. I’m trying to wake my brain up enough to catch up with what he said. “A big day?” I repeat, tilting my head just a little, studying him.
Because I don’t remember us making plans.
At all.
His mouth curves against my skin, just slightly, like he knows something I don’t, which, given our history, is honestly not surprising.
“You’ll see,” he says, brushing his nose against mine in a way that feels way too soft for someone like him. “Sprinkles and I have a surprise for you.”
I squint at him.
“You know her name is Sparkles,” I say, my voice still sleepy but firm.
His eyes roll instantly. “Same difference.” This man went out of his way to get her chicken from the pub the other night when she wasn’t feeling well and nearly decapitated Jeremy with a butter knife because they couldn’t figure out how to make rice themselves.
Yet, he won’t call her by her real name.
“She gets mad when I call her Sprinkles,” he says, and I swear this hulk of a man giggles.
I laugh, the sound slipping out of me before I can stop it, and he watches me like I’m his favorite thing in the whole world.
“I’m serious, Sebastian,” I mumble, nudging his shoulder. “One of these days she’s going to bite you right on the butt, and you’ll have no choice but to say you deserved it.”
“She’s a spoiled brat, and you know it,” he says with a grin
“She’s a lady,” I retort, but I am aware how spoiled she is.
He huffs a quiet breath, like he’s humoring me, and presses a soft kiss to my forehead before finally pushing himself up off me.
“Go get ready,” he says. “We’re on a schedule.”
“A schedule?” I repeat, sitting up now, my hair falling around my face. “For a walk?”
“For her walk,” he corrects, like that makes all the difference in the world because she is a very busy dog, and we can’t take up too much of her precious time.
I shake my head, smiling to myself as I slip out of bed and head toward the bathroom.
By the time I step back out into our bedroom fully dressed, hair and makeup on, Sebastian is sitting on the edge of the bed, and I notice right away that he’s dressed in slacks and a white button down shirt with the sleeves rolled up.
I notice the hyacinths next, a huge bouquet of them that I know he must have hassled the local florist to make sure they’re perfect. The soft purple petals, delicate and pretty and so…intentional that my chest tightens a little.
Also next to him is a worn box, the edges softened with time. It looks like it’s been opened and closed more times than I could count.
I move toward him slowly. “What’s this?” I ask softly. It’s not my birthday or our anniversary.
His eyes lift to mine, “Come here,” he murmurs.
I don’t hesitate for ever a second. I climb onto his lap because, for me, that’s the most natural thing in the world now. He hands me the flowers first, watching me closely as I take them.
They smell so good.
“Hyacinths?” I whisper, bringing them closer, letting the scent fill my lungs. We both know why he chose these in particular.
His hand comes up, brushing lightly over my thigh. “Replacing a bad memory with a good one.”
My throat tightens because I know exactly what he means.
I swallow past the emotion welling in the back of my throat, blinking quickly before I look back at him, and then my eyes drop to his forearm.
The bandage is still there covering the tattoo, he’s been hiding from me for several days.
I point to it immediately, narrowing my eyes just a little. “Are you ever going to let me see that thing?”
He went with Jeremy to get it done. Came back all quiet about it too, which is not like him. And every time I asked, he’d just kiss me and change the subject.
Which is rude, honestly.
I expect him to deflect again, but instead he just looks at me and reaches down to start peeling it back.
My breath catches.
“Sebastian—”
But he doesn’t stop. The bandage comes away and I’m shocked.
“Oh my God…”
My voice barely comes out.
It’s—
It’s me.
My eyes.
Tattooed along the inside of his forearm, every little detail is captured so perfectly.
They look exactly like mine.
I look up at him slowly, my vision blurring with unshed tears.
His eyes softens, his thumb brushing lightly along my thigh again.
“I can’t bear not being able to look into your eyes when we’re apart.”
That’s it.
That’s all it takes.
I throw my arms around his neck, pressing my face into him, my lips finding his cheek as I hold on to him tighter than I probably should.
“I love you,” I whisper against his skin.
I feel the way he exhales, and then his arms come around me instantly, like he was waiting for that.
“You know,” he murmurs quietly. “I love you more.”
I pull back just enough to look at him again, and then my attention drops to the box beside him.
“What’s in there?” I ask, softer now, trying not to cry like a big old baby.
He places it in my hands. “Open it.”
The lid lifts easily, and inside…I don’t even know what these are.
Notes.
So many of them.
Folded. Worn. Some crumpled like he wrote them fast and shoved them away without thinking.
My fingers tremble a little as I pick one up, unfolding it carefully.
They’re his handwriting. So messy and rushed.
Desperate.
I look up at him again, confused. “What are these?”
“All of my thoughts,” he says simply. “From when I was looking for you.”
My chest tightens again.
I swallow and start reading.
She’s still out there. I know it. I don’t care how long it takes.
She needs me. I know she does. Will she remember me?
I keep thinking about her laugh. I wonder if it’s the same all these years later?
Tristan is stupid and Winter should murder him in his sleep.
I read that one out loud, and Sebastian snatches it out of my hands and sheepishly tosses it behind him.
“Wrong box,” he says, which makes me laugh so hard that the tears I was holding back fall, running down my cheeks. He wipes them away, kissing me gently before I pull another note out.
Every time I close my eyes, I see her scared. I should’ve protected her better. I will fix this.
My vision blurs completely this time.
“Sebastian…” I whisper, my voice breaking just a little. My fingers brush over something else, a cassette tape, and I pull it out slowly, turning it over in my hands.
He watches me closely as I rub my fingers over his scribbled writing. For my songbird, it says.
“That’s for you to listen to later,” he says.
I glance up at him. “Later?”
His lips curve slightly.
“I have a lot of those for you,” he adds. “I wanted you to hear it the way it actually was. Not just me telling you now.” His gaze holds mine. “It’s easy for me to say how much I cared… how badly I needed to find you.”
My heart stutters.
I swallow, tightening my grip on the tape. “Can I listen now?” I want to hear his reverent words. I want to hear every emotion he felt when I wasn’t with him.
He smiles cheekily at me and then takes the box gently from my hands and sets it off to the side.
“Unfortunately,” he says, completely serious, “Sparkles is on a very tight schedule today. Jeremy has an appointment with her to try and trick Soph into thinking he’s a decent human being this afternoon.”
I think he’s going to say he’s kidding, but no, he’s completely serious. Juniper is going to start charging the guys for walking her dog, I can see it happening now.
Sparkles trots ahead of us, her leash loose in Sebastian’s hand, her tail wagging like she owns the entire campus, which, honestly, she kind of does.
I tuck my hand under his arm and hold his bicep, leaning slightly into his side as we walk along the path, the water stretching out beside us, sunlight dancing across the surface.
It’s quiet here now, so peaceful, and for the first time in a long time, I don’t feel like I’m waiting for something bad to happen.
Everything is…okay.
More than okay.
“Sprinkles,” Sebastian says suddenly, his tone serious, like he’s addressing a person and not a very spoiled Dalmatian, “remember what we talked about.”
Sparkles stops mid-step, slowly turns her head and bares her teeth at him.
Not a growl…it looks like she just got the ick, and I’m trying so hard not to laugh at this man who I love so much.
Sparkles huffs at Sebastian, actually huffs, before turning forward again like she’s choosing to ignore him.
I smile to myself, watching her, then let my gaze drift out over the water again.
Everything bad that happened feels far away now, like something I lived through in another life.
Nathan wasn’t lying, he was my half brother. That the man I grew up calling Dad, the man who raised me, who stood beside my mother, who loved me in the only way he knew how, wasn’t my biological father.
The monster who tried to ruin my life was.
It should feel bigger than it does, heavier I think.
But it doesn’t, because to me, my dad will always be my dad. He wasn’t perfect, but he loved me.
And I know deep down that everything he did, he believed was for the best.
Sparkles suddenly veers off the path, pulling slightly on the leash as she makes a beeline toward a tree near the water. It’s one of the prettiest ones on campus, its branches stretching out over the edge like it’s reaching for the lake.
Sebastian glances down at her, then back at me. “We should probably follow her.” He sounds giddy, and I don’t know what he’s up to.
I narrow my eyes slightly, looking between him and the dog.
Sparkles is already circling the base of the tree, sniffing around like she’s on a mission, her nose buried in the grass.
I look back at him slowly. “Did you put something over here for her to find?”
He scoffs, offended. “No,” he says, completely serious. “Jeremy did, thank you very much.”
I laugh again, shaking my head.
Of course he did.
Sparkles suddenly perks up, her head lifting, and then she dips down again, grabbing something from the grass.
A tiny black box.
My breath catches as she trots around the tree proudly, tail wagging, looking between us like she’s waiting…no expecting praise.
“Oh my God,” I whisper, already smiling. “Good girl, Sparkles.”
“She’s insufferable,” Sebastian mutters, but there’s no bite to it. “Come here, Sprinkles—”
She ignores him completely, walks right past him and comes straight to me.
I crouch down, reaching for the box, my fingers brushing her soft fur for a second before I take it from her.
“You’re the best girl,” I murmur, pressing a quick kiss to her head.
She practically preens.
When I stand, Sebastian is already moving and dropping to one knee in front of me, his hand coming up to gently guide me to stand right in front of him.
He takes the box from my hands, and I barely even notice Sparkles huffing in offense behind me before she wanders back toward the tree, apparently deciding to forgive us in favor of whatever treats Jeremy hid for her.
“Livingston Rhodes,” Sebastian starts, his voice is softer now, and he’s looking up at me like I’m the only thing that exists in his world. “You’re my soulmate,” he tells me. “The love of my life.”
My vision starts to blur.
“I can’t spend another second without knowing you’re mine. Not just now. Not just like this.” His jaw tightens slightly, like he’s holding something back. “I need you forever...”
“Yes,” I breathe, the word falling out of me before he can even finish. My arms wrap around his neck, pulling him into me as emotion crashes over me all at once. “Yes, of course! Yes!”
Our lips meet, soft and desperate and a little unsteady, like neither of us can quite believe this is real.
He kisses me like he always does, like I’m his everything.
He pulls back just enough to look at me, something softer settling into his expression.
“Look,” he says so softly as he opens the box.
And the second I see it, I gasp.
My hand flies to my mouth. “No way…” I look up at him, my eyes wide. “Is this my mom’s ring?”
His lips curve slightly. “Don’t even ask how I got it,” he says. “Let’s just say I owe Caiden another favor.”
I laugh through the tears, shaking my head as I drop back down into him, wrapping my arms around him again.
“I don’t even know what I did to deserve you,” I whisper against his cheek.
His hands come up instantly, holding me there like he never wants to let me go.
“You’re perfect, baby,” he murmurs. “You don’t ever have to do anything.” His thumb brushes softly along my jaw, tilting my face back toward his. “Just be mine.”