Chapter 6
I wake up to the smell of cigarette smoke and coffee, and when I open my eyes and see the industrial steel roof above my head, I sit up with a jolt.
“Hey, hey, relax.” I hear Ruckus’s voice first, then I see him sitting on the couch opposite the bed, beneath the long glass window, and I realize that I wasn’t dreaming.
“I told Wrath we should get one of those fancy coffee machines downstairs but he refused. You’ll have to make do with the black bitter rocket fuel.” He gestures his eyes to the mug on the table beside me as he leans forward and takes a sip from his own.
Willow’s dead. Ruckus came back for me. He practically killed Drew and then he…
“You sleep good?” he asks, folding up the newspaper he’s been reading and standing up. He carries his mug over to the basin, placing it inside and then pulls a shirt from the back of the kitchen chair over his head to cover his bare torso. His body is now covered in tattoos, and even bigger and muscular than I remember.
“It’s a very comfortable bed,” I tell him as I sit up and lift up my coffee. I thought I’d gotten used to the cuff I had to wear around my ankle but not having it on last night felt like heaven.
I’m about to ask him where he slept last night, when I hear someone coming up the stairs.
“Hey.” The perfectly petite and stunning blonde smiles at us both as she lets herself in and places her gym bag on the coffee table.
“Thanks for that, Mya.” Ruckus nods his head gratefully and she steps right up to him and circles his lip with her finger.
“Anytime, big boy.” She presses her lips against his before she sees herself out. I notice how his eyes follow her, and I clear my throat while I try to ignore the jealous flicker in my chest.
“Did you not want to tell your girlfriend that you kissed me last night?” I smile sarcastically. Ruckus saw enough of my weakness last night. Being back with him reminded me a little of who I used to be, and that’s who he’ll be seeing from me until I figure out what I’m going to do.
“Mya,” Ruckus laughs. “She ain’t my girlfriend, darlin’.” He unzips the bag she brought and peeks inside at its contents.
I’ve forgotten the way girls always seem to lose their better sense of judgement when they’re around Ruckus. I should know, I was one of those girls. I roll my eyes and tut loudly.
“You could be a little more grateful, ya know.” He shakes his head at me and tosses the bag onto the bed beside me.
“Grateful for having my morning coffee interrupted by one of your little fan girls.” I laugh.
“Actually. Mya’s a regular here, I asked her to sort out some stuff for you. Figured you wouldn't want to show up in the club in my sweats or your…” He looks at the costume that's laid out on the chair beside the bed.
“I don’t want to go to the club at all,” I admit, staring into the coffee I’m drinking. I had to leave the show last night, not just because Ruckus forced me to, but because of what would have happened after. Drew isn’t dead, no doubt he will recover, and when he does he’ll want to serve me a punishment for his humiliation. Being here is one thing, but going back to the club… I vowed I’d never do that.
“The club is your home, why are you so afraid of it?” he asks me, looking concerned.
“You remember who my dad is, right?” I laugh some more, it’s always been the way I deal with discomfort.
“How many times do I have to tell yo?—”
“Everyone’s gonna hate me,” I interrupt him when he goes to tell me how amazing the club is again . It doesn’t matter to me what's changed, the place will always hold bad memories.
“No one's gonna hate you, Freya.” Ruckus looks at me as if I’m being dramatic. I always hated the way he did that.
“I’m Cliff Adams’ daughter,” I remind him.
“Ain’t no one gonna hold that against you.” He smirks at me, reaching into the bag and tossing a pair of jeans at me. “We got a lot going on right now, the brothers are far too busy to give a shit, and the girls… they’re real nice, they’ll take good care of you while you find your feet. You can stay at the motel. Raze has had some of the rooms refurbished.”
“I won’t be staying anywhere.” I snatch up the jeans and size them up. Mya, or whoever she is, looked way skinnier than I am, and when I get up and hold them to my waist, I suddenly realize how thin I’ve got.
“Freya, you gotta stick around a while, if not for your own sake, for Aaron’s… I know he’s got Eden but?—”
“Eden.” Just hearing her name again shocks me. I assumed she was dead.
“Are you telling me that Aaron and her are together?”
“Darlin’, they’re married.” Ruckus smiles, and him calling me that, almost distracts me from what came after.
“Married?”
“I told ya, a lot’s happened since Raze took over.” I watch him dig through the bag and pull out a sweater.
“And what about you, do you have someone?” I hate myself for allowing that question to slip out. What the hell does it matter anyway?
“Me?” Now he’s the one who’s laughing
“Yeah, you.” I take the sweater from his hand.
“I don’t believe in all that shit.” He clears his throat and picks up his phone, pretending to scroll through it so he can avoid me.
“You don’t believe in it.” I shake my head. “You clearly just never found the right person.” I notice the way his eyes keep flicking up at me. It feels just like old times again, him trying not to look at me, while I try to tell myself I don’t like it.
“Maybe, or maybe I know better than to get myself into that kinda situation.” He shrugs, sliding his phone back into his pocket.
“What situation?” I frown.
“The kind where you have to consider someone else in every decision you make. I see the way Raze and Wrath are always worrying about their girls, and it don’t look like fun.”
“And that's what girls are supposed to be for, right? Fun .” I cross my arms over my chest and let him see how pathetic I find him.
“The kinda ones I hang out with are.” He smiles.
“Come on, if we hurry we can make it to the club in time for breakfast.”
“Breakfast?”
“You could expect to get a lot of things from the clubhouse when I used to hang out there, knock off liquor, drugs, herpes, but never breakfast.”
“You're gonna be very surprised at how things are. Prepare yourself.” Ruckus smiles at me as he grabs his cut, and I head to the bathroom to put on the mystery girl's clothes.
I follow Ruckus down the stairs and into the gym when I’m ready and I have to admit, the place is impressive. There's a huge training ring on one side, plenty of equipment and it’s busy considering how early in the morning it is. Most of the females stop their workouts as we pass so they can greet him, with fluttering eyelashes and stuck out chests, Ruckus just nods politely back as he guides me toward the back door.
“What? No bike today?” I point out when he opens the passenger door of one of the club’s black cages.
“That was a desperate situation, it won’t happen again. And we mention it to no one,” he warns me as I climb inside.
“Why? Scared you’ll hear the tiny bursts of female hearts breaking all over Long Beach?” I roll my eyes as I buckle up and he growls under his breath as he rounds the hood to get in the driver’s seat beside me.
“I have questions.” I wait until he’s pulled out onto the main street.
“Of course you do.” He rests his elbow on the open window.
“Why do you call Aaron Wrath ?” I ask one of the many questions I have for him.
“That’s just what everyone calls him these days.” Ruckus shrugs.
“That doesn’t answer the question,” I point out.
Ruckus fails to hide his frustration when he makes that deep growly noise again, and I can’t help but smile to myself. I always did like being under his skin.
“Things went dark for Aaron after he left Long Beach. He was mad at your father, and mad at himself. He found an outlet for his anger and it earned him a reputation,” he explains. “Look, I’ve been thinking about how we’re gonna explain this.” He quickly moves us past the subject, turning a little in his seat toward me when we hit traffic.
“Explain what?” I bite my lip and act cute, forgetting that it’s split open and making my eyes water. Being around Ruckus again makes forgetting far too easy.
“Can you stop with the— you know exactly what I mean. Aaron, and well… everyone is gonna wonder why I came back last night. I figure we tell ‘em that I called by to check on you this morning and you asked me to bring you home.”
“So you want to lie?” I wait for confirmation.
“I don’t want to lie, Freya, I just don’t wanna tell the truth.”
“Which is that you kissed me.” I keep trying to hold off the smile I want to make, and not just because it stings.
“We definitely ain’t tellin’ ‘em that.” He pulls forward with the traffic, looking agitated.
“Okay, we’ll stick to your lame assed story.” I shrug, looking out the window. Despite all my nerves, I feel a sense of freedom which is strange considering where we’re heading.
“It’s not a lame story. It’s believable.” Ruckus grips the wheel tight in his hand.
“More believable than the truth?” I raise an eyebrow at him.
“A whole lot more believable.” His cheeks turn slightly red.
“I think what you did was sweet. It would have been a real crowd pleaser if ya hadn’t almost killed the man.” What I say must trigger him because he quickly switches lanes and pulls over at the side of the road.
“Sweet…” He looks at me as if I’m crazy. “Freya, are you forgetting why I nearly beat that man to death? I did it because he did this to you.” He rips down the vizor in front of me so I can see myself in the mirror. “You have been in an abusive relationship for years, trying to play that down ain’t gonna heal you any quicker. I saw how scared you were.” He flips the vizor back up before slamming his fist at the steering wheel, and I close my eyes and breathe calmly.
“I wasn’t playing it down, I was just… I was trying to be us again.” I shrug, feeling tears building in my eyes.
“There ain’t a fucking us, Freya, never has been. Never will be. You're my best friend's annoying little sister, let's keep it that way.” He runs his tattooed hand across his thigh before pulling back out and continuing our journey. I see the tension in his muscles, I feel it in the atmosphere, and I stay silent, pretending that the words he just said didn’t hurt worse than one of Drew’s punches.
“I’m sorry.” I manage to force the words out as we get closer to the club, the nerves are getting worse. I’m not ready for this.
“You got nothin’ to be sorry for.” Ruckus looks pained himself, and he must notice that I’m struggling to breathe because he pulls over again just before we reach the compound gates.
“I promise you have nothing to worry about,” he assures me. “Everyone here is gonna welcome you. Wrath’s gonna be happy to have you home.”
I don’t deserve to be welcomed, if people here knew the truth, they would agree that I got exactly what I deserve after I left here.
“Home… Ruckus, I get that I needed to get away from Drew and that show but that doesn’t mean… This place isn’t my home anymore.” I see the faded yellow, three-story motel on the other side of the wall and guilt sinks deep into my stomach.
“Well it’s home for now. I just need you to be careful. Some things have been happening lately and you need to be on your guard.” I can tell this is not a conversation he wants to be having with me.
“What kind of things?” Curiosity is easing up my nerves a little.
“There was a body found on the beach not long ago, then another behind one of our bars on the strip. Then a girl that had been staying with us… I found her in the pool pit. She was the latest victim.”
“You have a serial killer?” I stare at him in shock.
“It looks that way.” He keeps his arm hung over the top of the wheel, looking up through the windshield at the motel before he turns to face me.
“Protect yourself.” Opening the console, he takes out a knife. “Keep this with you, and if you're staying at the motel always keep your door locked. Don’t trust anyone.”
“ Anyone ?” I take the knife from his palm, pull it from the leather sheath, and test the point of the blade with my fingertip… it’s sharp and I wonder how many people it might have killed before it made it into my hand. That thought makes me shudder.
“I haven’t ruled out the killer being one of us yet.” He drops his eyes away from mine and turns back in his seat, pressing his head back against the headrest and sliding his hands over his face.
“You look tired,” I tell him, rolling my head and looking him up and down.
“I got a lot on my mind.” He sighs, letting me see just a touch of weakness. “Bringing you back here with this killer around isn’t the best idea, but it’s all I got.”
“Thank you.” I lean over the console and press a kiss against his cheek and when I slowly pull away, he looks surprised.
“For what? Taking you out of one dangerous situation and bringing you into another?” He laughs bitterly.
“For caring enough to come back.” I smile, waiting for him to deny it as I slide my new weapon into its sheath and tuck it into the back of my jeans.
He says nothing, just drives on, nodding at the guy who is standing on the gate as he drives through and parks up next to all the bikes.
“And don’t worry, Ruckus, our little secret’s safe with me.” I wink, making one more attempt to be the old, sassy me, hoping it’ll stop the nerves from twisting in my stomach.