Ch10 Not a Burglar
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What does he think - that he can say anything and I'll just keep listening? Crying...
Since noon I have locked myself in this room.
Yes, our marriage happened under the wrong circumstances and he doesn't even accept it, but that doesn't mean he can treat me like some lifeless object.
Enough is enough - now even I don't want to talk to him, no matter what happens.
Rude man, he doesn't even know how to talk. Rotten boiled potato...
My crying wasn't stopping. I had held myself together with great difficulty, but today, hearing Rudraksh's words, my heart couldn't bear it anymore.
My eyes were now burning; my whole face had turned red from crying, but the pain in my heart still wasn't easing.
Sitting on the floor near the bed, I kept thinking how completely my life had turned upside down in a moment...
From Kashi I had come to Mumbai to fulfill my mother's unfinished dream, and now look at me - I've ended up as someone's daughter-in-law and someone's wife only in name.
They say when an old wound is hurt again, it becomes deeper. In the same way, when one thing hurts, all the old sorrows start coming back.
Gauri Maiya, I never thought bad for anyone, never did wrong to anyone, then why is all this happening to me? I sobbed.
Like every girl, I too had wished for a happy married life. I even kept the Solah Somvar fast so that I'd get a husband like Mahadev. But here it feels like I've gotten a husband like Ravan.
Thinking that, I cried even harder...
And on top of that, I haven't told anyone in Kashi about this forced marriage - not even when Nanu called this morning.
With what face could I tell them that the daughter they sent to fulfill their dreams, the daughter they raised with more love than life itself, is now tied in the bond of a mangalsutra...
That her identity will be defined by the sindoor of a man who can never love her nor give her the rights of a wife.
This sindoor, this mangalsutra - even though real - feel fake, because a marriage whose foundation is built on deceit and pain, how can such a marriage ever succeed?
heard a knock at the door. I listened carefully and recognized Rudraksh's voice from outside.
"Rivanya, please open the door."
Angrily I shouted, "I don't want to talk to you. Go away."
From outside Rudraksh said, "I know it was my mistake, but please talk to me... don't do this. Come out, Rivanya."
I've only known this man since yesterday - he's as bitter as a bitter gourd. He doesn't even speak to me directly, so how is he now begging me to talk? Whatever happens, I will not give in to his stubbornness. He thinks I'm one of those poor girls who forgives at the drop of a hat - absolutely not.
"Rudraksh Vardhan, I will not kneel before you...Never..."
Thinking all this, I said loudly, "Get out of here. I don't want to talk to you."
When there was no answer I assumed Rudraksh had left, but five minutes later the door opened by itself and Rudraksh was standing at the door with a plate of food.
I immediately stood up, wiped my tears, and angrily asked, "How did you open the lock?"
He placed the plate on the nearby table, closed the door from the inside, came toward me, and looked me straight in the eyes. "Mrs. Rivanya, Rudraksh Vardhan - don't you know this is my house? The spare key to my room is always kept in my office, so I just came in."
I glared at him for a moment in anger, then stepped back and turned my face away.
Rudraksh took a deep breath and said, "Look, Rivanya, I know I behaved a little rudely with you this morning."
Before he could finish his sentence I said, "A little? That 'little' was just for you."
Rudraksh then said, "Alright fine, I was very rude to you and I am apologizing. Please forgive me."
I folded my hands, turned toward him, and said, "If saying 'sorry' alone could solve everything, no one's heart would ever break in this world. Keep your apology to yourself - I do not want it. And do not make the mistake of thinking I am some helpless girl just because I am humble.
I can be fierce too. If I am calm like Mother Gauri, I can also be as ferocious as Mother Kali."
Rudraksh just kept staring at me. I asked, "What are you looking at? Huh? First you make a mistake and then you glare when someone talks back to you, see how you are with me."
Before I could finish my sentence, Rudraksh covered my mouth with one hand. For the first time he spoke gently, "Understood. You are not a weak woman at all. And how much you talk, huh? Now stop this chatter and come, eat something."
His hand felt cool. My face, wet from crying, warmed slightly at the touch of his hand and I felt a small calm from his touch.
But I pulled my hand away and said, "Then why are you talking to a girl who talks so much, huh? I will not eat. You leave from here."
Rudraksh took a deep breath and asked, "So you will not agree then?"
I replied sharply, "I will not agree, not in any way."
Before I could taunt him further, he sat down on his knees in front of me, smiling, and said, "Now you will agree?"
I stood frozen in shock at Rudraksh's action. What had he done?
I said, "What are you doing? You don't need to fall at my feet."
Rudraksh looked at me and smiled gently. That smile-so sweet it could steal anyone's heart-I had never seen a smile like that before.
He said, "Rivanya, I'm human. Making mistakes is my nature, but I've also learned that if you make a mistake you should apologize with your head held high, not bowed down. I hurt your heart, and asking for forgiveness is only right."
Hearing him, I was confused. I had heard that Rudraksh never bowed before anyone; people usually bowed to him. So what was this scene I was witnessing today?
I asked, "I heard you never bow before anyone. So why are you on your knees before a simple girl like me?"
Rudraksh replied, "I've never had to do anything that required me to bow to someone. But today I made a mistake. On one hand I say in front of everyone that you are the Lakshmi of my house, and on the other, in private, I failed to honor that Lakshmi. That was my fault,
so I'm asking your forgiveness. So, Mrs. Rivanya Rudraksh Vardhan, will you forgive me now?"
I thought to myself, if he asks for my forgiveness so sweetly, how can I stay angry?
I said, "Get up first. Come on, get up. Even if you don't accept yourself as my husband, by rites and customs you are still my husband, so stand up first."
Rudraksh replied, "Forgive me first, then I will get up. Otherwise I won't."
I said, "What kind of stubbornness is this? Get up."
He said, "Call it stubbornness or whatever you like, but until you forgive me, I will not stand."
I also sank to my knees before him and said,
"Merely having a wife in name alone does not bring honor or suit the future King of Vardhanpur...Kuwar-sa"
Rudraksh met my eyes and said,
"She may be only my wife in name, but this girl is also the future queen of Vardhanpur. For my mistake, the future king himself is asking forgiveness... Hone wali Ranisa."
Rudraksh's words made me lower my eyes, and he asked, "Have I been forgiven, Ranisa?"
I smiled and kept my gaze down. "If you ask for forgiveness so lovingly, how can I remain angry, Kuwar-sa?"
A faint smile touched Rudraksh's face. He placed both hands on my shoulders, helped me to my feet, and sat me on the bed. He took the plate from the nearby table and said, "Now eat. This morning I threw away the food you made, so now I have brought it back myself."
I kept my eyes lowered; I did not have the courage to meet his gaze.
Rudraksh brought a mouthful of food to my lips and urged me to eat. Surprised, I said, "I can eat myself."
He replied, "Why? If I feed you, will the taste of your cooking be lost? Open your mouth and just take this one bite from my hand."
Blushing, I ate from his hand. After he fed me a few more bites, I said, "Now I will eat by myself."
Then I remembered something and asked, "Did you eat anything?"
Rudraksh nodded no, so I said, "Then go freshen up. I will set the table for you."
Before i could rise, Rudraksh sat me back down and said, "Set the table, but finish your food first. Then go. I will freshen up and come."
I nodded. He went to the bathroom, and I smiled as I finished my meal.
After eating, I went downstairs to the kitchen to heat the food. The servants gathered to help, so I told them, "I can do it. You all go and do your work."
They looked at one another at first, then returned to their duties. I continued heating the food.
Just then Devaditya and Viswraaj came into the kitchen and asked, "Bhabhisa, what are you doing now?"
I smiled and replied, "Your bhaisa have just returned, so I'm preparing food for him."
Devaditya said, "Oh, that's good. By the way, Bhabhisa, may I ask you something?"
I answered, "Yes, Devarsa, Ask."
Devaditya said, "There is truly Maa Lakshmi in your hands. Everything you made today was so tasty - people couldn't stop licking their fingers. When everyone was having lunch, they kept praising your food."
I asked, "Really? Everyone liked it?"
Viswraaj said, "Bhabhi, they didn't just like it - they loved it. Especially Bade Babusa; he ate twice. We've never seen him enjoy a meal so much."
Hearing that made me very happy that everyone, especially Rudraksh's father, enjoyed the food.
Devaditya said, "Just promise us, Bhabhisa, when you come to Vardhanpur make more new and delicious dishes for us."
I replied, "Certainly, Devarsa, and while I'm here you will have my cooking every day."
Viswraaj asked, "But Bhabhisa, with so many servants around, why will you trouble yourself every day?"
I smiled and said, "Because cooking for my own family is not a trouble for me."