Ch12 Old Wounds, New Beginnings
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Until today I had never stood this close to any man.
It's not that I hadn't met plenty - I had - but my heart had never once felt the bell of love ring for anyone.
Yet now, with Rudraksh so near, my chest thudded in a way I couldn't explain.
It's only been two days since we met and got married, and still, despite myself, his closeness makes my mind flutter.
Even though he holds my waist, I don't feel dirtied or scared; instead there is a strange, protective safety in his arms.
His touch along my waist doesn't unsettle me - it comforts me.
I lowered my eyes and whispered, "What are you doing? Please let me go."
He bent close to my ear and, in a voice smooth as silk but deeper, asked, "Answer me just once - if your slap ever lands on me, what will happen?"
His breath warmed the hollow of my throat and a shiver ran over my skin. Small bumps rose along my arms; my eyelids fluttered. I whispered back in a soft voice, "Listen..."
He answered me just as gently, "Tell me."
Before I could say more, Dadi Maa's voice called from the corridor: "Rudraksh, Rivanya - I'm coming in."
Hearing her, I felt like someone waking from a dream.
I shoved Rudraksh lightly and stepped into the room, leaving him standing on the balcony.
The moment I crossed the threshold Dadi Maa stepped in too and came close to me, concern on her face.
"Rivanya, why were you standing out there? Were you running about?" she asked.
Trying to hide the flutter in my chest, I forced myself to calm my breathing and replied, "No, Dadi Maa. You were calling me, so I was coming." It was a small, clean lie - and Dadi Maa accepted it with a smile. "You don't need to run every time I call, beta. You can come calmly too."
I nodded, then changed the subject. "Dadi Maa, what did you want? Why were you looking for me?"
She smiled and said, "I ordered a new saree and some jewelry for you for tomorrow - it's Sharad Purnima, isn't it? Wear them for the puja in the evening, okay?"
I nodded silently, about to say something more, when Rudraksh entered the room. His face was suddenly sullen, and I thought, He was fine a little while ago - why this mood swing? He is more unpredictable than any girl on her period; Gauri Maiya, please protect me from this man's moods.
He stood stiffly before Dadi Maa and said in a serious voice, "I told you, I don't want such pointless fasts. Don't make me do this."
Dadi Maa's reply was patient but firm. "Rudraksh, these are our customs. More than that, these fasts are an expression of a wife's faith that God will protect her husband. Don't disrespect them. Rivanya will observe this fast with love - if you cannot support her, at least don't humiliate her."
Rudraksh fell silent. Dadi Maa explained the rules of the fast to me, then wished us good night and left.
When she closed the door, Rudraksh turned to me and said, "Listen, Sugarplump, you know how our marriage happened. There's no love here, no truth. You don't need to keep these formalities just because Dadi Maa asks."
For a moment I looked at him, then answered steady but controlled, "This marriage happened whatever its circumstances. If you truly don't care about this relationship, then why does it matter whether I keep a fast or not? You worry about your own affairs; let me worry about mine."
I always try to speak kindly to people, to handle things with grace.
But when the other person is not even worth talking to, what is the point?
For two days I have tried gently to reach out to him, to speak with affection, but his sourness barely lessens.
There came a point when my patience snapped - and anyway, if he doesn't value me, why should I keep trying?
Rudraksh watched me a long moment, then said, "Fine. Fast if you must - but don't expect me to break it for you. I won't. After the murti installation of Gauri Maa tomorrow, I'm leaving the city. You can do whatever you like."
With that he left the room. Of course - ever since the wedding he had never once slept in this room; he takes the other room after everyone goes to bed.
What is it with you, Rudraksh? One moment you seem concerned for me, and the next you behave like you don't care whether I live or die. One moment you say one thing, the next something completely different. I don't know where this forced relationship will lead us.
After Rudraksh left, I locked the door and went straight to the bathroom.
A hot shower helped ease the tension from my body, and for a few moments, I finally felt a little relaxed.
After changing into fresh clothes, I came out and sat on the bed, lost in thought.
My mind kept spinning with everything that had happened.
I couldn't help but wonder what else was waiting for me in this strange new life.
First, there was Rudraksh's unpredictable behavior...
and second, the eerie silence from Kashi.
By now, the whole world must know that I'm his wife - Mrs. Rivanya Rudraksh Vardhan.
Then why hasn't anyone from home said anything yet?
It feels like the calm before a storm...
Folding my hands, I whispered softly, "Hey Gauri Maa, please... let everything go right."
Just then, my phone started ringing. The caller ID flashed Dhara. I quickly picked it up and said, "Hello Dhara, how are-"
Before I could finish, her angry and anxious voice burst through the speaker.
"Rivanya! Are you out of your mind? You got married?! And that too in place of Alisha Bedi - at your father's command? And you didn't even think it was important to tell me? Why?"
Hearing her voice like that pierced my heart. I swallowed hard and said softly, "Dhara, calm down please. Let me explain-"
But she didn't let me finish.
"I don't want to hear anything! We were all attending the Maha Yagya for the past three days, so no one knew anything. But when I finally checked my phone today, every single headline screamed the same thing - that Rivanya Bedi is now Rudraksh Vardhan's wife! I was shocked!
We've never hidden anything from each other since childhood - then why now?"
Tears stung my eyes. "Dhara, tell me, how could I even say it? How do I face all of you after this? Just thinking about how Nanu and everyone else will react... I can't bear it. I don't want my choices to bring pain to any of you."
Dhara's voice softened slightly but still held hurt.
"And what about your pain, Rivanya? When you needed us the most, we didn't even know what was happening! Look, I haven't told anyone at home yet, but before they find out from someone else, you should tell them yourself."
I wiped my tears and said weakly, "Alright. I'll call Mama ji tomorrow."
"Are you okay, Rivanya? Is everyone treating you well there?" Dhara asked with concern.
"Yes, Dhara, everyone's good here," I replied. "But... there's something I have to tell you."
"What is it?" she asked.
I took a deep breath and told Dhara everything - about Samita's manipulation, how things spiraled out of control, and how it all ended with my marriage to Rudraksh.
After listening silently, Dhara burst out in anger.
"That woman! How dare she pull something like this!"
Then, after a pause, she spoke again - her tone full of worry.
"Wait, Rivanya... if you're Rudraksh's wife, that means your life is in danger! You told me about the curse - that every queen of Vardhanpur dies within a year of marriage! No, we can't risk it. We'll talk to Pspa and get you out of this. We'll file for divorce - your life comes first!"
"Dhara, are you crazy?" I almost snapped, my voice shaking.
"Nothing like that will happen. And promise me one thing - you will not tell Mama ji about any curse. You have my swear! And as for divorce... that doesn't exist in our culture. Once you're married, you stand by it till your last breath. Don't even think about it again."
After a few more minutes of talking, I finally managed to calm her down and ended the call. I took a long, shaky breath and whispered to myself,
"I'll tell everyone tomorrow. It's better they hear it from me before someone else twists the truth."
Because if they misunderstand or take a wrong step, it could change everything.
In Kashi, my Mama ji's word is law - there's no one who dares to go against him. That's what scares me. Once he learns the truth, he might come here himself and take me away.
But no matter what happens - whether this marriage is real or forced - the truth is undeniable:
I am Rudraksh's wife. His ardhangini.
And no one - not I, not Rudraksh, not anyone in this world - can change that.
That night, sleep seemed to have completely abandoned my eyes...
Time skip - 4 AM
Since I couldn't sleep at all, I got up at 4 in the morning, took a bath, and got ready. I still had to check the preparations for the puja. When I stepped out of my room, everyone in the house was still asleep, but all the servants were already busy with their work.
It felt strange - why were they working so early? No one had even woken up yet. I called over one of the servants, and he stood respectfully in front of me, waiting for my orders.
I asked, "Why is everyone working so early? It's only 4 in the morning!"
Still bowing slightly, he replied, "Ma'am, Rudraksh sir wakes up every day at 4 AM, so we all come to work before him."
I couldn't hide my surprise. "He wakes up at 4 in the morning? And... what does he do at such an early hour?"
The servant explained, "First, Ma'am, he does yoga, then the gym, then practices swordsmanship. After that, he bathes and performs his puja. By then it's around 6. Then he has coffee, followed by breakfast at 7, and finally leaves for the office."