Chapter Twenty-Seven
Rue
Rue dropped his head to allow the hot water to pound the back of his neck, easing some of the tension he’d pretended wasn’t there after reading the Alphahole chat.
He hadn’t mentioned anything to Kendrick or Monty about the planned ‘surprise’ visit of his parents’.
He should have known better than to talk to Dad about moving back into the ranch house.
Had he let slip more than he’d intended?
Yes. And now he was paying the price for that.
He was sure Dad would have mentioned a trip to the Vaughn winery during their last conversation.
He hadn’t, and no matter what he’d said in the chat, Rue couldn’t see any reason Dad wouldn’t have told him about the visit.
It was easy to come to the conclusion that the trip was booked after their conversation.
Which meant Dad had to have mentioned something to Popi. Didn’t it?
Rue had been going around in circles all day trying to figure it out.
And with that came the panic because Popi would want to come to the place Rue was staying at.
There was no doubt this was going to open up a whole can of worms. He wasn’t prepared for it.
Fuck, he wasn’t sure he ever would be when he was having a relationship—and it was a relationship—with two men.
All the hallmarks were there. They shared a damn house together.
Did everything together. Even with Kendrick returning to work the next day, there was no way to avoid it.
They couldn’t play pretend, when he suspected Kendrick and Monty would be hurt by a suggestion to hide their relationship in front of the two people that mattered the most to Rue.
Rue released a whimpering groan of despair.
“Everythin’ okay in there?” Kendrick’s voice could just be heard over the water.
Rue couldn’t tell if he heard concern, and he was too chickenshit to look out the glass wall. He’d come straight up for a shower when he got home to avoid this very conversation.
“Mostly,” he hedged, not wanting to lie, but needing some more time to figure out what the heck to do.
All day, that’s all I’m saying.
I don’t need your input. Rue didn’t need his animal side getting in on the act, and closing himself off to prevent this kind of conversation hadn’t really worked. His animal side had nagged.
Giving my opinion is not nagging.
You keep believin’ that!
The blast of cool air against his wet skin got him swallowing back the desire to be left alone. A large, naked body brushed against his, and he bit back a moan and the urge to tilt his ass as Kendrick’s arousal touched the back of his thigh.
Sex right now won’t solve anything.
Say’s who?
“Talk to me,” Kendrick murmured, his lips gently touching the pulse pounding at the junction of his neck and shoulder.
Such a simple touch, yet Rue felt the weight of it. Kendrick had a knack of making him feel… safe. With it came the need to talk, off-load, that was strong enough Rue found himself unable to hold back. “Dad and Popi are coming to visit.”
Rue noted just the barest hint of hesitation before the lips nibbling on the cord of his neck leading to his ear continued, causing a rush of blood to his head.
“Is this a problem… for us?”
This right here was why Rue respected Kendrick.
He never shied away from tough subjects.
In the past two weeks, Rue had come to appreciate Kendrick’s bluntness.
It prevented barriers being built through miscommunication.
Monty was very similar to Kendrick in his approach, and Rue had to question why he found it attractive in both men when he wasn’t like that.
When talking was so difficult for him, why would they want someone like him?
Stunted?
Hiding?
“Why do you want someone like me?” he blurted out in frustration at his own lack, his gaze fixed on the tiles in front of him, tension holding him still.
“Strong, beautiful, caring, passionate… loving. Why wouldn’t I want someone like that?”
Rue swung around, chest heaving at the raw honesty, water flicking everywhere as he kept some distance between them.
The shower stall was easily big enough for three.
Just then, he needed space. He desperately wanted to believe Kendrick.
To let the man carry his burden, if only for a moment. Only he couldn’t.
Their gazes held, and Rue searched for answers. The frightened child he’d been sat in the center of him, forcing him back from the cliff edge he dangled on when Kendrick showed him his generous heart once more.
Would Kendrick still feel compassion towards him when he knew he’d done nothing to protect his family from being slaughtered? When he was the sole reason they’d lost their lives?
Rue didn’t think so. He believed that if he told anyone, then the world as he knew it would disappear.
Popi and Dad would disown him. They were good people.
The best. Rue had worked hard to match their goodness, he had.
Except, a part of him remained sure that the secret he carried would destroy everything.
Kendrick took hold of his jaw in a firm grip, his brows tugging together. “What is going on in your head? I can see your pain. Let me understand, please, so I can help. I want to help.”
A violent shudder ran through him at Kendrick’s anguish. “I-I… It’s… fuck, I don’t know how to do this.”
Kendrick kissed him softly. The merest touch of lips that held such hope. “I do. Monty does. Let us show you.”
“Why?” he questioned in pain, his eyes aching as they blurred. “Why, when I’m not worth it?”
“You are.”
“You don’t know what I did,” he whispered brokenly, his heart squeezed hard enough by the guilt, he couldn’t catch his breath. His eyelids dipped to hide his shame.
“Look at me, Rue.” The commanding voice was the same one he used in the bedroom, and Rue obeyed. “Tell me what’s hurting you.”
Softer, yet no less commanding. Rue released a sharp exhale, and words tumbled out of his mouth like a shaken bottle of soda. The words spewed out of him.
“I got my parents and brother killed.” He tasted salt on his lips, only then realizing he was crying. “Wade was five, defenceless, and I did nothing! You hear me? I did nothing to prevent it. It’s all my fault. My existence caused the sweetest boy to be murdered, and I did nothing.”
The words bounced off the tiles as he bellowed at the grief tearing him apart. Kendrick wrapped his enormous arms around him, surrounding him in his warmth. Rue fought to escape, mewling like a broken child.
“I got you. I got you…” On and on Kendrick repeated the words, his arms never letting go, squeezing and forcing him to still. The fight drained from him, and he collapsed against Kendrick, shaking violently, each gut-wrenching sob that tore from his throat purging the pain trapped inside.
“What on earth…” Monty’s voice faded away, and Rue didn’t have the strength to determine if it was him crying or possibly Kendrick’s expression that stopped Monty speaking.
“Can you grab a couple of the bath sheets for me?”
The shower shut off, and the steam cleared with the door open.
Kendrick murmured softly to him, but Rue heard nothing above the blood rushing in his head at having opened a valve, releasing all the pressure.
Groggy and with a woolly head, his mind shut down and, much like a child, he let himself be guided, too hollowed out to do more.
Moving sluggishly, he barely registered the fluffy cotton draped over his shoulders. The scent of freshly laundered towels came as both men dried him where he stood, the tears continuing to drip off his cheeks and chin.
He closed his eyes so they couldn’t see his shame as he perched on the end of the bed, directed by Kendrick.
“No, Rue. Don’t shut us out, please.” Gentle hands touched his face, stroking away the tears as he blinked blurry eyes at Kendrick, bent at the knee.
“If you do that, you’re telling us you don’t want what we’re building here.
Is that the case? If so, this stops now because my heart is already invested.
Do you understand?” The tremor in Kendrick’s voice made it very clear just how serious he was.
Rue dashed the back of his hand across his eyes, regrouping impossible with how exposed he felt. “I’ve n-never s-shared my s-secret with a-anyone.”
If that didn’t reveal how serious Rue was about these two men, nothing would.
“Anyone?” gasped Kendrick.
“Not even Dad or Popi,” he managed without stuttering, though barely more than a whisper.
“Fuck.” Rue wasn’t sure what he read in Kendrick’s expression before his mouth became captured in the sweetest of kisses. Was he somehow being rewarded for telling the truth? That couldn’t be right. Had Kendrick misunderstood what he was confessing?
The mattress dipped behind him and Monty shuffled until he was plastered to Rue’s back, clinging on like he was getting a piggyback ride.
“Can you tell me what’s wrong, too?” Monty sounded small, something he’d never been before.
“Rue, have you eaten today?”
He shook his head, too exhausted to do more. The thought of food was too unappealing.
“I’ll make us subs, and we’ll eat them in bed.”
Rue didn’t have enough energy to argue. He allowed himself to be lifted up the bed until he was nestled in the vast mountain of pillows Kendrick’s bear had a soft spot for.
“Monty, you climb up and snuggle while I grab everything.”
Monty didn’t need to be asked twice, and he quickly tugged off his clothes, throwing them haphazardly in all directions before clambering over the covers. He didn’t stop until he was laid across Rue like a blanket.
Monty rested his cheek against Rue’s chest, right over his heart. Fingers ran soothingly up his chest and down to his waist repeatedly, lulling Rue into drifting on the edges of sleep. The darkness was a welcome shield from what would come next.