23. Warm Fuzzies
Chapter twenty-three
Warm Fuzzies
Neil
My brain had a hard time trusting that Sawyer really was still into me. I knew I should trust him, take him at face value, but I’d had guys in Idaho tell me the same thing, then get surprised by the lack of a dick when I took my pants off, which was why I’d started dating only other genderqueer or trans men. But I’d been too uptight and focused on work for all of them. The way Sawyer met me halfway gave me the warm fuzzies.
Sunday morning, I woke up to find Sawyer had sent me a text, just a winking face followed by a heart. The man sure liked his emojis. Not fluent in emoji speak myself, I responded with a heart.
He responded with a picture of a hot dog, a beach, and a calendar page emoji.
I squinted. If I understood right, he wanted to schedule a date at the beach, but was the hot dog a metaphor for a penis, meaning sex on the beach, or did he want to get a literal hot dog?
I decided to take him literally.
Me: I could go for a hot dog. When are you coming to the shelter next?
Sawyer: Monday. Lunch?
Me: Sounds good!
Sawyer: It’s a date, boyfriend [winking emoji]
I blushed scarlet and set my phone facedown with a clatter. I’d meant to ask him if he had any questions about me being trans, but the casual way he called me his boyfriend had me breathless and more than a little horny.
To get my mind off Sawyer, I threw myself into unpacking while Bubblegum danced around at my feet, yapping for attention.
My phone vibrated a while later. I snatched it up and answered breathlessly without looking at the screen, assuming it was Sawyer calling. “Hey.”
“Neil, you were supposed to text me when you got to Cali,” my mother chided.
Yet it took her nearly two weeks to call me. “I did, mom.”
“More than, ‘I’m here.’ You know I worry about you.”
We’d never been close. As the middle child, I blended into the crowd of children, too quiet and introverted to stand out. She hadn’t paid attention to me until I transitioned, and even then, it was pleas for me to reconsider because her reputation in the church and relief society had taken a hit. And for my safety, of course. At least now that it was done, she still talked to me and used my new name.
“I’m fine. Gaynor Beach is a really safe community for queer people. That’s part of the reason I took this job, remember?” I pinched the bridge of my nose.
At my feet, Bubblegum let out a yip, little feet dancing on my upper leg as she pawed at me for attention. “Sorry, I’ve got to go take the dog out.”
“I’m glad you have her, at least, to protect you. Bye.”
Snorting at the thought of Bubblegum charging at a home invader, I said my goodbyes to her and hung up. I spent the rest of the day setting up my apartment and checking my phone to see if Sawyer had texted me again.
A while later, my phone beeped. Sawyer had sent me a picture, a sketch of me holding the real Princess Bubblegum this time, not the sheepdog imposter. It was simple, the only color being the pink of Bubblegum’s bows.
The picture reminded me of my mural idea. I smacked my head. I’d gotten so distracted by Sawyer’s Chihuahua story that I’d totally forgotten to tell him my idea.
No time like the present.
Me: I’ve been thinking about ways you can continue to volunteer here without getting chased out by a dog again.
Sawyer: Low blow, N
Me: I’m not being mean, just stating facts.
Sawyer: [Tongue sticking out Emoji]
Sawyer: Fine, what’s this big plan.
Me: Big is right. [Winking emoji]
Sawyer: [Eggplant emoji]
Me: Even I know what the Eggplant means. Get your mind out of your pants.
A mural. Seeing your living room yesterday gave me the idea.
Specifically, in that big empty place above the front door.
Three little dots popped up and disappeared, and I waited in breathless anticipation.
Sawyer: An empty wall is like an empty canvas, brimming with possibilities.
I blinked at this unexpected bit of seriousness coming from Sawyer. Right.
Sawyer: rad idea.
Sawyer: It will look sick as hell.
Sawyer: Not sure how that will help the shelter.
Me: Advertising!
Plus, we could ask for donations to have you include specific pets.
The ideas flew fast now. More money for a bigger spot or a more central location.
Even better, that meant Sawyer would be around the shelter even more than he had been.