Chapter 23
Twenty-Three
Otillie-James
T his had been the weirdest week of my life. That included the time I’d picked wild mushrooms for my soup when I was thirteen and gotten one of the wrong kind. I’d spent three days thinking I was a cupcake with special powers, while I recovered in a hospital in Montana.
I’d gone from zero to a thousand with the guys and Strat, and I couldn’t even find it in myself to feel bad about it. The whole thing had felt right on a soul-deep level. It was like my heart was home.
Except when I looked at Lance. Then all I felt was shame. I’d basically coerced the poor guy into eating me out. Fuck, I’m an awful person.
I’d fully expected him to be gone when my heat broke, but I should have known better. Lance was loyal to a fault, and he’d kept this whole animal operation running while I’d been vagina up for five days. I’d have to apologize. I’d have to find him somewhere else to live. Maybe I could convince Truett to put him and Akio up in his apartment, just until I found something more suitable.
We were all piled into the Range Rover, Akio with his head out the window, Lance in the front seat as he directed us outside of town. We drove about thirty minutes outside of the city limits, and the suburbs slowly turned into more rural areas.
I held my phone in my lap, my screen open on a new text to Strat. I was trying to work out the etiquette around texting after a heat. Did I tell him I missed him already and hated that our group had to be separated? My Omega literally whined at the thought that Strat wasn’t right here in touching distance.
And that was a fucking weird thing in itself. Having these opposing feelings, like there were two beings now trapped inside my body. The Omega, whose needs and desires were mostly like mine, with a definite hedonistic tint to them. She really didn’t care about logistics—just about what she wanted.
She wanted Strat. She didn’t care that she was supposed to feel territorial about other Omegas near her Alphas. Actually, the idea of any other Omegas near Truett, Sonny, or even Lance made me growl low in my throat, making Truett throw me an appraising glance. I swallowed it down.
Strat was definitely the exception to the rule. Because the idea of anyone else touching Strat that way also made her mad.
Fuck it.
Me: Miss you already.
I sent the message, then tossed my phone face down across the seat. Jesus. How desperate can I be? What if he’d just wanted some heat partners and that was it? What if he didn’t want to share Alphas with another Omega?
I was all about my own wants and needs, and I hadn’t even thought about anyone else.
My phone vibrated, and I snatched it up. I really had no chill.
Strat: Not as much as I miss you. Let me know what you find on Lance’s mystery tour?
Me: I will. You should come around this week. Would that be okay?
I wanted to slap my forehead. I sounded like such an awkward weirdo. The bubbles bounced at the bottom of the screen for a long time, like he was deleting and rewriting the message a dozen times. Probably trying to work out how he could tell me he wasn’t interested in me like that, without hurting my feelings.
Maybe I’d misjudged. Maybe the heat hormones had colored the whole experience, and he hadn’t been as into it as I was, without his own heat hormones feeding off mine.
I was convinced he was writing a message to let me down easily, and I wanted to throw my phone out the window, but I couldn’t take my eyes from the screen.
Strat: If I had my way, I’d never leave.
Happiness flooded every single one of my limbs, and I bounced a little in my seat, trying to control my excitement.
Truett reached out and gripped my hand. “You okay there, OJ?” I showed him my phone, and he grinned back. “You like your handsome Omega, huh?” He said it lightly, but I could feel the weight behind his words.
Tilting my head, I raised a brow. “Don’t you?”
He dragged me closer to his side and kissed my head. “Absolutely. And I think we should court him as a group, if you’re happy with it, and your Omega doesn’t mind.” He lowered his voice. “When it comes down to it, you’re our first priority, OJ. Later, as our Pack grows, the Pack as a cohesive whole will be a priority, but you’re the girl we’ve wanted forever. Loved forever. Your comfort means the most to us right now. When you’re ready to court Strat, let us know. If you’re never comfortable enough to have another Omega in the Pack, so be it.”
He placed his lips beside my ear. “If you want to bring in a certain Beta, we’d be okay with that too,” he whispered lightly, so the guys up the front couldn’t hear. “This Pack is yours now, baby. You shape it however you feel is right.”
I blinked up at him, trying not to cry, trying to find the words I needed to tell him how I really felt.
“We’re here,” Lance said softly, something slightly off about his tone. I dragged my eyes from Truett to look out the window.
My breath caught in my throat. “Holy shit. Who owns this place?”
A huge house sat perched in the middle of rolling pastures. Trees bracketed the back of the house, making it feel secluded and private. I looked down at my outfit. Maybe I should have dressed nicer.
Lance opened the passenger door. “I do,” he replied quietly, climbing from the car and walking toward the pasture.
I blinked. I didn’t understand. Not at all.
I looked over at Truett. “Did you know about this? Did it come up in that background check I know you did?” I knew this Alpha—the first thing he would’ve done when he’d met Lance was a police check, then a more thorough background check. Always looking out for my safety, even if I did want to throat punch him at times.
He shook his head. “No. Not a single word.” He kissed my fingers. “There’s only one way to find out. Let’s go ask the man in question, shall we?”
Wherever we were, Akio was familiar with it, because he was trotting around like he owned the place, looking more like a dog than I’d ever seen him. Lance was standing beside the fence, looking out over the pasture, like looking at the house caused him physical pain.
I indicated the guys should stay back, and walked toward him. “Lance?”
His jaw was flexing, tension radiating from his body. “I know what you’re thinking. If I have a place like this, why am I mooching off you? Maybe it was an elaborate scheme to take advantage of you.”
I screwed up my nose at him. “Actually, that hadn’t even crossed my mind.” I placed a hand on his lower back, feeling him practically vibrating with tension. “Can I hug you? You look like you need it, and it’s sending my Omega a little crazy.” He looked down at me, his eyes wandering over my face incredulously, but eventually, he lifted an arm, and I snuggled in beside him, sighing happily at the contact. “Talk to me, Lance. I’m not going anywhere.” I kept my tone light, but I was imploring him to trust me. There had to be a reason he’d been living under a bridge, instead of in the million-dollar farmhouse in front of us.
He sighed and pulled me a little closer, as if I gave him comfort. I didn’t think I’d ever been prouder in my life. I rested my cheek against his shoulder silently; he’d speak in his own time.
“I inherited this place when I got out of the Marines. It shouldn’t even be mine.” He was silent again for a long time, and I was beginning to wonder if that was all he was going to give me. “I was a foster kid. In care since I was four, shoved around from place to place until I ended up with a bad attitude, and eventually, a juvenile record. When I was at a careers day thing at school—I got free food, so I never skipped—there was a military recruiter there.
“He took one look at me and said, ‘Son, you’re at a crossroads. For someone like you, there’s prison, or there’s the military. One road leads you to being nothing more than a lifelong drain on society. The other lets you be a hero. You choose.’” Lance huffed. “Obviously, I chose the military. Went through bootcamp. Went on to become a Marine. Got accepted into one of their spec-op units. Still waiting to be the hero.”
Honestly, it was more words than I’d ever heard him speak in a row. I just squeezed his hand. I didn’t want to interrupt, but I wanted him to know I was here, present and listening.
“Anyway, when you’re in an elite military group that you can’t talk about with other people, you kind of begin to look at the team as your family. There were six of us, and two war dogs. One was Akio.” The dog in question was currently peeing on every fence post along the tree line. “My commander was a career Marine. Had come up through the ranks. He was an amazing tactician, marksman, and could kick my ass in hand-to-hand combat.
“Sometimes they keep themselves apart from the rest of us, making it easier for them to send us into situations where we might not come out. But not Matt. He was there with us every step of the way. When we were wounded, he was at our bedside. When we cried, he cried with us. In a firefight, he was right there, beside you, shoulder to shoulder. He might have been twelve years older than me, but he was like a big brother and best friend all rolled into one. He was that to all of us.
“We were a group for years, longer than most. They tend to split you up after a while, because it starts to become ‘men before the mission.’ But we had such a good success rate, with such low casualties, that they kept us together. We did some terrible shit, and the ones who had lives, wives and families, they didn’t stay long. It was just us.”
His voice was shaky. I hugged him tighter, and this time, he wrapped both arms around me and held me close. He needed me; I could feel it in my bones. This was the start of something.
“Our last mission went to shit. We got pinned down in a minefield—it was dark, and we couldn’t see the signs. It’s how I got half my face blown off, but I was still better off than the rest. They put us down as we lay there bleeding. I thought I was a goner. Everyone else was dead. I couldn’t see. The only reason I got out of there was Akio, who led me out. Akio was Matt’s partner. His MWD.”
My heart broke for the man in my arms. He’d lost his whole family in one terrible night. One failed mission, and his world was gone.
He cleared his throat, and I gave into the urge to climb further up his body, so I could rub my cheek on his and be even closer. He put his hands under my thighs and rested me on the top rail of the fence, leaning into my body, burying his face in my neck so that the next part was muffled against my skin.
“I was discharged, and I fought to keep Akio with me. Wasn’t too hard—we were both damaged tools of war. Someone who knew Matt had him reclassified as a service dog, then had him assigned to me. But a lawyer found me soon after, said Matt had rewritten his will a few years ago, and listed all the men in our team as beneficiaries to his estate. If he died on assignment, this property was to go to us all in equal portions. Except there was no one left but me and Akio. So I got the whole lot. That’s why I came to Rock Hill.”
He let out a shaky breath. “But when I got here, I couldn’t go in. Matt was everywhere, even outside. His bike in the garage. His pictures on the wall in the living room. I slept in the stables for a bit, but even that got too much. It was like a giant testament to my failure to keep them alive. A reminder that I was here, while they’re all buried in a military graveyard up north. That I had to attend five military funerals for the only family I had. That I had nothing left. Just their ghosts, Akio, this house, and survivor guilt.”
Not for the first time in my life, I didn’t know what to do or say to make it better. So I just held him. “Thank you for telling me. And thank you for bringing us here.” I stroked my fingers through his hair. I didn’t want to tell him what a man I didn’t know would have wanted; that was presumptuous. But if Matt had left this to his men in his will, then I didn’t think he’d be the type who’d want them to carry around guilt at his death. I couldn’t tell Lance that, though. I could only offer him one thing.
“You aren’t alone anymore, Lance. You have me—us—for as long as it makes you content.” I chewed my lip, not sure it was the right time for this. “Even if that means forever.” I tried to keep the hope out of my voice, but doubted I was successful. His arms tightened around me slightly, but he didn’t reply, just held me silently.
I couldn’t see the guys, though I knew they’d be here somewhere. I wasn’t sure how long I spent carding my fingers through his hair, soothing him in the only way I knew how, before he pulled back a little. His hands stayed on my hips so I didn’t fall backwards off the fence rail, and he picked me up easily, setting me on my feet.
“Matt would’ve liked you. Liked that this place was going to be used as a refuge for creatures no one else wanted.” He grabbed my hand, still not meeting my eyes, and pulled me gently toward the house, pulling keys from his pocket as we walked. Truett and Sonny appeared, standing a few feet back, giving silent support to us both.
It was hard, but it was healing, and that was the only thing I wanted for my Lancelot. My white knight.