Chapter 41 Thea
THEA
Ijerk awake, clutching at my chest. My heart feels like it’s racing right out of me.
Gods, it feels like a furnace. I’m trapped between these two giant alphas, both sleeping and snoring away.
Well, Parker is the snorer out of the two of them.
Ever since I bonded with Parker, the three of us have been sharing Keelan’s bed since it was big enough.
We tried alternating that first night with me staying in Parker’s room alone but Keelan was on edge the entire time.
I could feel his anxiety and stress through the bond.
He didn’t come disturb us; he wouldn’t intrude but I couldn’t let him suffer like that.
Most packs have a pack bedroom usually big enough for everyone so I figured they would’ve expected to share that space at some point with their omega.
I was still nervous asking if they’d be okay if the three of us slept in the same bed.
It was a first for me. They had no problem with it which I was relieved.
Guess my theory was right. I don’t know if this pack has a pack bedroom or even a nest space, I should probably ask about that.
My heart is still going a mile a minute and the lingering anxiety from my dream, well more memory, is making me restless.
Slowly scooting out of bed so as not to wake them, I make my way downstairs for some water, which seems to help.
Seeing a small light on out on the enclosed deck, I walk towards the door, seeing Eli at his telescope, Duke lying near his feet.
He has one of the windows open. He must be freezing.
Quickly going to the living room, I grab a throw blanket and step out onto the deck.
The floor is a bit cold, but nothing I can’t handle.
The door makes a louder noise than I anticipated as I close it, causing Eli to turn around startled.
“Holy shit Thea, you scared me,” he says, a little breathless.
Even Duke raised his sleepy head from where it was resting.
I shrug my shoulders. “Sorry?” Opening up the blanket and holding it out for him, I say, “Here, you have to be freezing.” He looks at me then the blanket and back at me.
I give the blanket a little shake so he’ll take it.
Nothing. Rolling my eyes, I mumble under my breath, “Stubborn alphas.” I walk up to him and reach up, placing it on his shoulders.
When I step back he’s looking at me funny.
“What? You have a window open, it’s freezing out. ” As if it’s obvious, which it is.
He shakes his head and a small laugh escapes him. “You continue to surprise me.”
“Well that’s a good thing right? Wouldn’t want you to get bored of me,” I say with a teasing smirk.
Pulling the blanket off his shoulders, he then wraps it around me, I huff as he does.
I made the worst first impression on this pack, they seem to think I’m breakable.
Meeting someone at rock bottom or close to it seems to skew their view of me.
Or maybe it’s the whole omega thing. I never got that vibe from Connor; sure, he liked to take care of me in different ways but it never felt like it was because he thought less of me or my capability.
He just enjoyed doing those things. I guess that could be what they’re doing too.
Ugh, I am not mentally prepared for all of this tonight.
Connor, if you’re haunting me I just know you’re laughing at my inept social skills or should I say courting skills.
“Here you want to see what I’m looking at?” he asks after bundling me up to his satisfaction.
“Really?”
He doesn’t respond, just pulls me closer to him.
He’s slightly behind me now that we’re in front of the telescope.
Looking down into it, my breath is taken away by how clear the stars look.
“See those three stars almost in a line together? If you follow it over it’s actually the Orion Constellation.
It’s a little tilted this time of year but no less clear thanks to our remote area. ”
Looking over my shoulder at him, I whisper, “You really love this, huh?”
He looks away, is he being bashful? “Yeah, tonight the weather conditions were good enough that we’d get decent visibility. Plus I needed a little escape.” There that word is again, escape. Usually when I need an escape and end up reading or drawing is because something else is stressing me out.
“Why did you need an escape?”
He looks away but this time it’s clear it’s not bashfulness. It’s because of me. I step out of our slight embrace and away from the telescope. “I’m sorry.”
Confused, he asks, “Why are you apologizing?”
“I’m the one stressing you out that you needed an outlet,” I say as another realization hits me, “and now I’ve interrupted you during said outlet. I’m gonna go.” I only make a half turn before he’s grabbing my arm, lightly, to stop me.
Still holding me, he reaches over and shuts the window, cutting off the chill filtering in. Then, leading us to the small outdoor sofa, we sit. I need to calm down. Can my anxiety travel down the bonds and wake the guys? There really should be a bonding handbook or something.
“Listen, it’s not you per se. I’m worried about you—the heat, the stalker, the bonding. It’s not a bad thing to be worried over those you care about.” His eyes feel like they’re boring into me.
Of course I understand that. I think back on what Keelan said the day we bonded.
I don’t need to be perfect, none of them want that.
I can’t help but feel like a hassle anyways.
I never felt like this with Connor, but I never felt so broken back then.
“I know, but I still don’t like that I add stress to your life or any of the guys’ lives.
I wish I didn’t have so much baggage. Not just for your sake, my own too.
It’s exhausting.” He pulls me close so I’m resting my head on his shoulder, his scent washing over me even more now.
“We all have baggage. We’re all thirty or older, if we didn’t have some form of baggage by this point then we probably lived pretty sheltered lives.”
“Mhm, I’m not sure how true that is but I take your meaning. By the way I’m still twenty-nine, so not thirty yet.”
He doesn’t say anything so I look up and see the biggest grin on his face. “What is that for?”
“We are going to be able to celebrate your thirtieth birthday together and go all out for it. I can’t wait to start planning. Oh when is it?”
Shaking my head, I should expect nothing less. “It’s March fourteenth.”
“Oh so you’re a Pisces, interesting.”
“You follow all that astrology stuff?”
He gasps in mock offense. “You don’t? It’s fun and you gotta admit for most people some of the traits associated with their signs really do fit. Oh guess what sign Parker is, he’s the most obvious I think out of us all.”
I have to think on it for a minute, overall Parker is energetic most of the time, usually when around people…then it hits me. “He’s a Leo isn’t he?”
“Yes! What made you pick that?”
“The hair,” I say and then we both end up laughing.
This is just what I needed after that dream.
For some of the guys, I don’t think I need to wait to decide if I’m okay with bonding during the heat.
I want more moments like this with Eli. I’m sure I’d have them since I’m here regardless, but he’s carved out a piece in my heart already or a few of the broken pieces melting them together to make an Eli piece.
I’m not ready to admit the depth of my feelings.
I still can’t bring myself to say it to Keelan when we basically skirted around the actual statement.
“Eli?”
“Mhm.”
“I’m ready to bond with you during my heat.”
He moves away slightly so he can look at me. “You’re serious.”
“Of course I am, I wouldn’t joke about th—” I’m cut off with his kiss. Suddenly I’m lying back on the sofa having the most tender kiss of my life.
When he breaks away, he looks at me. “You are the strongest person I know, I am so lucky you’re my omega.”
Only Connor and Parker have ever said something like that to me before.
Maybe he doesn’t see me as breakable like I thought.
I pull him back down for a kiss, and this time it’s deeper.
Then a sudden warmness comes over my body.
No not another one. I push slightly on Eli’s chest and he pulls away immediately. “You okay?”
“More than okay, but I don’t want to trigger another mini heat. I’m sorry, but after—” He stops me with a finger to my lips. “You don’t have to explain, I get it. Better to not risk it right now. Like Jake said we’ll have all the time in the world after your heat.” Gods I hope that’s true.
Eli decides to walk me back to Keelan’s room and gives me a more chaste kiss goodnight.
I climb back into bed as if I never left, taking my spot between these two alphas.
Suddenly Keelan’s arms are wrapping around my middle as he nuzzles his face in the crook of my neck, kissing his bond mark. “Have fun?” he rumbles out.
“Is there just no privacy when you’re bonded?” I whisper, annoyed but not really. He doesn’t even bother replying, just chuckles lowly against my mark that has my toes curling. I really need to do some bond research tomorrow.