Chapter 14
FOURTEEN
The abundance of moisture in my mouth made my stomach turn. I zipped my one-piece in the front, securing my breasts and chest. Though it was late February, it was still rather chilly in Clarke. The bike ride would be windy, so the extra precautions were necessary.
I stood in front of the mirror in Psalms’ bedroom, admiring one of the many gifts he’d given me for Christmas. I was still trying to repay him for the effort he’d put into the holiday, but Valentine’s Day made it clear that repayment wasn’t possible. I’d fallen for a lover boy. Every chance he could, he showed me just how much I meant to him.
“Stunning,” he complimented me as he stood against the door’s frame.
“Thank you, my love.”
I turned around to find him glaring in my direction. He was smitten. After nearly five months, the adoration was still written all over his face.
“Headed somewhere?”
I noticed I wasn’t the only one who’d gotten dressed. Psalms was dressed in his signature color which meant someone would be taking their last breath soon.
“Duty calls,” he sighed.
“For you and me both.”
He nodded.
“Seems that way. See you in—” he questioned with a raised brow.
“Two hours. Three at best.”
“I’ll be here. If I’m not, then, I’ll be back soon.”
Sonnie cleared the distance between us.
“Okay. Don’t stay away too long. I won’t be able to sleep until you’re back.”
“Then I’ll be back before you’re in bed.”
He kissed my lips and cupped my ass with his left hand.
“I love you, Gazelle.”
“I love you back, Sonnie.”
With the wind, he was gone, leaving me with my thoughts and my reflection in the mirror. Not much of me had changed physically, but I was a much different woman that I was five months ago. As I stared at my reflection, I hardly recognized who was staring back at me.
Good dick will do that , I quoted Roulette as I sauntered away from the mirror.
I grew more queasy with every step I took. My shattered nerve endings were throwing my equilibrium off completely. As a precaution, I headed for the bathroom where I locked the door behind me and rested my knees on the floor in front of the toilet.
I waited patiently beside the bowl, waiting for something to happen. My stomach was in knots. With every passing second, it flipped. Nothing about the day felt right. From the time I opened my eyes, there was a sinking feeling in my chest that was present when I laid down for bed last night.
Get it together , Rugger.
Six weeks. That’s how long it had been since I’d accepted an assignment from the database. I took some time off to spend with my family in St. Catana. When we arrived state-side, Psalms and I decided to tune out the world and tap into each other over a two week period. I didn’t regret a day away from my obligations, but my return had come with symptoms I wasn’t accustomed to.
Just nervous , I concluded as I made my way to my feet.
I pumped soap into my palm and washed my hands. Upon my exit, I headed for the kitchen. I opened the cabinet and slid onto the counter. When I retrieved my pills, I was comforted by the nearly empty sheet. I hadn’t missed a single dose of my birth control. I never did.
Yeah, just my nerves .
I pushed a pill out of the pocket it was trapped inside of and tossed it back. The bottled water that Sonnie had opened earlier was still on the counter. I sipped from it until I felt the pill slide down my throat.
Why they were shattered, I didn’t have the slightest idea, but I pushed forward regardless. Getting back in the field would be as easy as riding a bike. Six weeks was insignificant compared to the years I’d taken off as my family settled in Catana.
I zipped the leather Prada jacket and slid into the leather boots that matched them. I wrapped a black scarf around my neck and slid the leather gloves onto my hands. My helmet slid down over my low bun with ease. Finally, I was on my way out of the door.
The wind whipped the leather of my jacket as I powered down the engine of my motorcycle. I’d reached my destination and the gaping hole in my chest remained. Still, I pushed forward with my backpack snug against my body and my nose in the air.
I sealed my lips almost completely as a familiar tune escaped them through a very small opening.
My lover’s got humor.
She’s the giggle at a funeral.
To everybody’s disapproval.
Should’ve worshiped her sooner .
I took the steps up to the twelfth floor where I entered the deserted floor of the office building. It was full of boxes, crates, old files, and the stale smell of abandonment. I removed my backpack and slammed it onto the old conference table that had been left upstairs to rot away.
Dust flew in every direction. I turned my head, trying to stop it from entering my nose, mouth, or eyes. When it settled, I unzipped my bag and removed the soft leather case from Sonnie. With little influence, it unrolled on the table, revealing the pieces of a flesh-eating machine that would guarantee a closed casket as the payee had requested.
I located the new iPhone Royce had given me before leaving the island. She promised it was the latest, but it didn’t feel or look much different from the last one she’d given me. However, this time she did include listening devices.
I placed the AirPods in my ear and pressed play on my phone. I was growing to love the block of distractions. Being a techie, Sonnie was teaching me how functional the device truly was.
I had a seat in front of the table and began piecing my weapon together like lego blocks. Two minutes later and it was aimed out of the window on the heavy duty stand that was designed for high-powered sniper rifles.
Sza’s Love Language forced my eyes closed. From side to side, I bobbed my head as I loosened my nerves and tried ignoring the summersaults my stomach was performing at an impressive, very alarming rate.
Her voice soothed parts of me that were uneasy. Unsettled. And experiencing instability. I rolled my neck and twisted my body from one side to the other. My bones popped and I felt much better as a result.
The binoculars pressed against my wide eyes. Curiosity led me straight to the boardroom on the sixth floor of the adjacent building. Suited men surrounded the large table. My brows drew inward, creasing against the binoculars. I’d struck gold.
Fahaad.
Mason.
Jayce.
Lafayette.
Four contracts. One room. They all had large price tags on their heads and I’d claimed three of them for myself.
Sonnie .
My interest was peaked as the revelation hit me. I removed the binoculars from my face to get a clear view of the area. There were two buildings in the complex besides the one I was in or the men who were about to lose their lives were in. Without a doubt, I knew Sonnie was behind the window of one of them. I pressed the side button on my phone.
Doot.
Doot .
“Call Sonnie.”
The phone began ringing in my ear almost instantly. I placed my right eye in the scope and adjusted the aim. Fahaad . His closed casket request would require rounds directly to the face.
“Good evening, Gazelle.”
“Fahaad, Mason, and Lafayette are mine. Don’t make me tell you twice.”
His chuckle was cumbersome. He found joy in driving me mad.
“It’s not that funny, Psalms.”
“What if I make a mistake?”
“You don’t make mistakes.”
“Sixth floor, hallway window. Sixth floor, elevator. Boardroom corner. Watch yourself.”
“That’s why you’re here, Sonnie. To watch me,” I confirmed, “You’re not fooling me. Thanks, but I have this. Like the rest of my projects, this one will be a walk in the park.”
The three armed men he’d mentioned, I had already noticed.
“But, if it makes you happy–”
Pew.
Pew.
I left the third one alive. Killing him meant alarming the rest of the men around the boardroom conference table and that wasn’t something either of us wanted.
“Feel better?”
“Much better, baby.”
I traded the scope for the binoculars. I scanned the building to the right. On the eighth floor is where I found Sonnie, seated behind the fourteenth window in a cluster of twenty-two.
“Why didn’t you tell me you’d be here?”
“Didn’t we agree to separate our business and personal lives?”
I lowered the binoculars and readied my weapon for firing. My aim had been altered with the premature kills.
“Yes.”
“There’s your answer. Focus, baby. It’s showtime.”
Pew.
Pew.
Pew .
Pew.
Pew.
As requested, five bullets baked the flesh of Fahaad’s face. Pandemonium ensued. But, before anyone could get out of their seats and attempt to take cover, more bullets pierced the window.
Pew .
A shot to the chest left Mason slumped over the table.
Pew.
Between the eyes is where I caught Lafayette. His knees buckled and his body lunged forward before falling onto the floor.
“Aht. Aht,” Sonnie warned. “Jayce is mine.”
I stood on my feet, taking cover behind the brick wall. I placed the binoculars against my face again. Sonnie was easier to spot this time. I observed as his weapon jolted slightly, ending the life of his target.
“Still there, baby?”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“Good. I have something I’ve been meaning to ask you.”
“Sonn–”
I watched him remove a piece of paper from the desk behind him. Slowly, he unfolded it and pressed it against the window. One letter at a time, I began to make out the words.
Will you ma–
“Urgh–”
Blood splattered onto the white paper. My heart plummeted from my chest to the ground in front of me.
“Sonnie!”
The wound in his neck began leaking profusely, forcing me to come to terms with what I was seeing on the other end of the binoculars.
“Sonnie!”
“Ga–” he coughed as his body dropped to the floor.
“Sonnie, stay with me. Stay with me, baby. Sta– stay wi–with me, Sonnie.”
My voice splintered as I sat in the chair. My heart was in flames. And, for the first time, I went against every boundary I’d set for myself when I entered the marksmanship realm. Blinded by the rage and pain of seeing Sonnie collapse on the floor as his blood poured from him in pints, I pressured my trigger.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Pew.
Everybody on the other end of my scope had to die. Tears blurred my vision, but the lack of movement in the room made it clear that everyone had succumbed to their injuries.
Satisfaction didn’t find me. There was only pain. Anxiousness. Pressure. Regret. Uncertainty. A million thoughts swarmed through my head as I dismantled my weapon in fourteen seconds flat, tossing each part into my backpack.
I hurried out of the door. The stairs weren’t an option, so I took the route to the main hallway. I pressed the elevator button three times, hoping it signaled my urgency.
“Come on. Come on. Come on.”
I paced the floor, preparing to enter the cart the second the doors parted.
“Sonnie, baby– hang on for me. App– apply pressure to the wound, baby. You have to stop the blo– the blood. You hear me, baby?”
Tears began burning my eyes as I waited for a response.
A sound.
Movement.
Heavy breathing.
Whimpers.
Anything .
There was nothing. The silence was agonizing.
“Sonnie. Talk to me. I’m coming, baby. I’m coming.”
Ping .
The elevator doors opened and I stepped on. Continuously, I pressed the lobby button.
“Fuck– don’t do this to, Sonnie. Don’t do thi–”
My thoughts were all over the place. But, my heart… it was in my shoes. With each passing second, it grew heavier.
I exited the elevator at full speed. I dashed across the parking lot and into the building where I’d located him. This time, not even the elevator could delay my ascent. I climbed the stairs two at a time to reach the eighth floor.
One.
Two.
Three.
Four.
Five.
I counted each door I passed.
Twelve.
Thirteen.
Fourteen.
I pushed the door open. My heart shattered into a hundred more pieces as I stared at the emptiness.
Fuck .
“I’m coming, baby.”
The tears I was trying to keep at bay came tumbling down my face. Dread slowed my feet and hammered my heart, drawing blood with each blow.
“I’m co–
Confusion plagued me. I’d begun counting on the wrong end. He wasn’t fourteen doors down from where I’d entered the eighth floor. He was fourteen doors down from the opposite end.
I swiped my eyes but there was hardly any use. My vision was altered. So was my body. My heart. My head. Everything had been altered. Everything ached.
“Son– Sonnie, don’t do this to me. Please.”
My back pressed against the wall behind me. Sirens sounded in the distance. They were closer. Far too close for comfort.
Snap. Snap.
Focus, baby.
Snap. Snap.
Teddy’s voice summoned my strength. I pushed forward, counting down until I reached the number six. I shoved the door open with my right foot.
My body numbed at the sight before me. Fire blazed inside of me. My eyebrows crinkled, drawing closer to the center of my face. My cheeks peaked as my top lip began to shiver.
“Sonnie baby.”
I rushed inside, falling to my knees before him. His blood pooled around the black leather, immersing me in my newest reality. I placed my index and middle finger on his neck, frantically searching for a pulse. There was nothing. Not an inkling of life. Not a single beat. Not a sign of life within his body.
“Baby, plea– please. You can’t do this to me.”
The once white paper that was now covered in his blood caught my attention. Quickly, I took a look around the room. It was tidy, but there were still so many things connecting Sonnie to his career choices and the bodies he’d piled since becoming the man he was at this moment.
Desperate to reserve his image, I sprung into action. I disassembled his weapon and shoved it into the case he carried to each assignment. I folded the soaked paper up and shoved it in my bag. The wrapper from his deli sandwich that was peeking from his pocket slid into the pocket of my jacket with ease.
Though I understood life and death, nothing about Psalms’ limp body allowed me to come to terms with the end of his life. Until a coroner looked me in my eyes and told me there was no more life inside of his body, I would fight for him to live. For him to love. For him to thrive.
Our lives together had just begun. It couldn’t end now. This was too soon. I deserved more time with him.
To show him who I was becoming. To show him who he’d chosen to love. To show him how influential he was in my life. To show him how much of my heart belonged to him. To show him that I was capable of the softer, milder version of myself that he’d promised he’d allow me to be. To show him that I trusted him. To show him that I wanted and needed him.
“Sonnnnie–” I wept, gathering his limp arms. Red and blue lights surrounded the building.
Focus, baby .
With every bit of strength I could muster, I pulled his body toward the door. The inch I managed nearly defeated me, but I refused to give up.
“Uggggh–” I grunted, pulling harder.
At the realization that his arms weren’t the best solution, I bent forward and looped my arms under his shoulders. Just as I began to make progress, my ass slammed against the floor and my head collided with the wood beneath me.
“FUCK.”
Progress hadn’t been made. Sonnie’s blood had brought me to the floor. His message was clear.
It’s over, Gazelle .
“Sonnie, please.”
I shook my head, unable to stomach his death. Still, I managed to pull myself from underneath him. My clothes, hair, and hands were soiled with his blood. I removed the earbuds from his ear and picked up the phone next to his corpse. With his case and my backpack in tow, I started for the stairs.
In a matter of seconds, the area would be locked down and the buildings would be crawling with government employees that I had no plans of encountering. I pushed my way out of the building when I reached the ground floor.
My right leg swung over my bike. Before I could get comfortable on the seat, it had already started and I was peeling off the parking lot. I rotated my right hand to increase my speed. The wind that peeled my tears back on my face didn’t matter. Traffic laws didn’t matter. I entered the expressway and put as much distance behind me as I could.
My engine didn’t settle until I reached my destination. I silenced the motor in front of the building and hopped off the bike. Sonnie’s case fell from my hands. I pushed the backpack off my shoulders.
“Urrrrrrrgh,” I gagged.
The queasiness intensified. I placed both hands on my knees and allowed everything I’d eaten over the last twenty-four hours to come forward.
“Urrgh.”
Puke spilled from my mouth onto the patch of grass next to the concrete. For approximately six minutes, I released everything inside of me. When I felt like there was no more to give, I removed my phone from my pocket.
There was only one person I needed to call. One voice I needed to hear. One human I needed to help me understand my new reality.
“Teddy–” I rushed out, emotions controlling my tone as tears covered my cheeks.
“Rugger,” sternly, he called out to me. Concern was etched in both syllables.
“He’s gone.”
“Rugger. Where are you? Are you hurt?”
I nodded. My chest caved. Yes. Yes, I was hurt. And, the pain was unlike anything I’d ever felt. My world had stopped spinning on its axis. I wasn’t sure if it would ever revolve again.
“Rugger, baby. Talk to me. Are you hurt?”
“Yes!” I screamed.
“Where?”
“MY HEART, TEDDY. MY FUCKING HEART HURTS.”
“I’m coming to you. Stay put.”
He ended the call. There wasn’t a doubt in my mind he’d find me. I didn’t need to reveal my location. He’d fly the plane himself to get to me faster. I knew Teddy. And, I knew he was coming.
I gathered my Sonnie’s things along with mine and pushed my bike into the garage. When I made it upstairs to the empty loft, I rushed to the cabinet and removed my father’s bottle of aged liquor. I didn’t bother with a cup. I poured it directly into my mouth. I was willing to try almost anything to numb the pain. To reduce the ache in my chest. When I lowered the bottle onto the counter, it was half empty.
“Damn you, Sonnie!” I yelled.
The veins of my neck threatened to blow, but somehow death felt more logical than life at this point. I slung the glass across the room. It slammed against the wall and shattered on the floor.
Damn you .
My back pressed against the counter. Slowly, I slid to the floor. I curled into a ball, pulling my knees up to my chest. My head laid on the cool floor. I closed my eyes, praying that it was all a sick dream and when I reopened them Sonnie would be standing over me prepared to take me home.
“Baby–”
Chem’s voice stirred me from my pain-induced blackout. I wasn’t asleep. I wasn’t awake. I was just… existing. Barely. On the cold floor. Covered in my lover’s blood.
The sun had begun to rise. Hours had passed. The tears had continued. There were no more left to cry. Whimpers had taken my voice. Death had broken my soul.
“Baby.”
“Tell me he made it,” I demanded, barely above a whisper.
There was nothing left in me. I was depleted. Chemistry’s hesitation caused me to open my eyes. He was squatting beside me with his hands collapsed in front of him.
“Tell me!”
He shook his head.
“He wouldn’t do this to me. Tell me he made it.”
He shook his head, again. This time, he placed a hand on my shoulder.
“He didn’t make it out, baby.”
He tried wiping the fresh set of tears I’d managed to produce. Hearing it from Chemistry made it real. And, the tears I thought I’d cried out came rushing down my face.
“Teddy– he’s gone.” I sobbed against his hand. “How? How could he– No one in that room was capable of–”
“Because no one in that room made the hit, baby. From what I’ve gathered on the way over, his superiors felt he’d been compromised.”
“He was a contracted kill?”
Chemistry nodded.
The news smacked me in my chest.
“By who?”
“I don’t know, baby. Not yet. I need a little more time. For now, I need to get you somewhere safe. I’m not sure what motherfuckers have up their sleeves. There won’t be a Clarke if anyone touches as much as a hair on your head.”
“I’m going to kill them, Teddy–” I promised. “I’m going to kill every last one of them.”
“And, I’m going to be right beside you. My chopper won’t quiet until they’re all resting with the worms.”
“Sonnnnnie–” I bellowed, unable to contain the pain that was turning my insides out.
“Shhhh.” He hushed me, scooping my limp body into his arms. “Shhhh.”
“He wasn’t sup– supposed to be– be there. He was there to protect me.”
“That was his job, baby.”
“I knoooooooow.”
“Shhhhh.”
Swiftly, Chemistry rushed me out of the loft. With her gun drawn, Roulette was waiting on the other side of the door.
“Let’s go, baby.”
We made it to the stairwell where Rather lowered and pushed the door open. Her back faced us as she cleared the path with her rifle, prepared to shoot anything that moved. Chemistry trekked down the stairs and out of the door. Range stood beside the awaiting SUV. Roaman stood behind it. Pistols pierced the air, ready to fire.
“Let’s go.”
One by one, we piled into the truck.
“Stay down,” Chemistry fussed.
The girls readjusted my body so that I was laying across three pairs of legs on the first row.
We sped off into the night. Although I couldn’t see, I knew every turn we made. According to the direction we were headed in, the tarmac was our next stop. St. Catana was our final destination. However, nothing in me wanted to leave Sonnie behind. I wanted his body to rest beside my father’s. He’d deserved his spot in our family’s burial plot. And, when it was all said and done, that’s where he’d be.
“It never felt right,” I cried out. “It never felt right.”
“What are you saying, baby.?”
“The day. It never felt right. I– I– I didn’t feel right all day. From the moment I opened my eyes, I knew– knew something was on the horizon. It never felt right.”
“Shhhhhh,” Chemistry coaxed, placing a hand on my cheek while rocking me back and forth.
“It never felt right.”
“Shhhh.”