Chapter 41 Giovanna
Giovanna
The flower doesn’t look like much when I first see it in my room at my parents’ house.
It’s delicate, almost shy, its pale petals open, delicate as porcelain, on my vanity.
But when I lean closer, I know immediately what it is: the Shenzhen Nongke orchid doesn’t bloom like other flowers.
Its petals are luminous, almost translucent, edged with a faint green-gold sheen that catches the light like glass.
The throat of the blossom holds a wash of lavender so subtle it looks like it has been painted on by a master’s brush.
I touch the curve of one petal and it feels unreal, smoother than silk, so fragile I’m afraid it might collapse beneath my fingertip.
I know it’s from Tommy. Only Tommy would find an orchid that costs a quarter of a million dollars and doesn’t occur in nature and manage to find it in bloom, an event which happens only once every five years.
That he can do, but showing up when he says he’ll be there?
Impossible.
The fact that this is here means he knows about the party.
Will he be here? I haven’t heard from him in months, though I heard he went to my parents’ house looking for me, and on more than one occasion I’ve seen him from a distance.
Always hanging back, always watching.
Lexi gasps.
“Oh my God, what is this? I’ve never seen anything so gorgeous.
”
“It’s a Shenzhen Nongke orchid,” I say, opening the card attached: When you’re ready, I’m here.
I close my eyes softly and press the card to my heart.
Fuck, Tommy. I miss him so much.
“Holy shit, I’ve heard of these!
Aren’t they like $100,000 each?”
“More like $200,000,” I say.
“It took eight years of research to create them. To find one that would be in bloom right now must have been—”
“Really fucking hard,” says Lexi.
She gasps, and I swipe away the tear that’s about to fall.
“Oh my God. Gigi…”
I look up to see her holding a small gold jewelry box, her eyes wide.
I take it from her, open it gingerly, and almost choke.
It’s a huge square-cut diamond on a simple platinum band, an engagement ring.
I’m struck with the urge to put it on, call him, skip this stupid party my dad put on for his friends, and go get my man.
But then I put it into perspective. It’s typical Tommy: a big forever gesture with no time invested in just talking to me or seeing me in months.
“Tommy?” Lexi asks softly.
I give a single nod.
It’s all I can do without crying. She hugs me as we stare at the ring together.
“What are you going to do?”
I wipe my eyes.
“Drink,” I say, and Lexi laughs.
“You fucking graduated, bitch! With a double major, summa cum laude, honors, all that shit. You’re a badass bitch, and tonight you will not be sad.
You will drink. And if you let me, I will find you the perfect cock to ride so you forget that man completely.
”
I scoff. Any man who tries to fuck me after Tommy will sadly fail before he even gets started.
“That would only make me more depressed.”
“Yeah,” she sighs.
“Too bad he’s such a great fuck.”
I look at her sharply.
“From what you said! Not that I would know! Jesus, relax. Now come on. Let’s drink!
”
My parents definitely went all out for this party.
My dad has lights up everywhere around the pool and walkways through the garden.
There are bars set up in strategic locations, food tables, waiters walking with trays, and a DJ.
Everyone seems to be having a good time, laughing and talking.
I do my best to drink and relax and accept everyone’s congratulations, but Lexi keeps disappearing to flirt or chat with girls we hung out with in high school, and I soon find myself watching the festivities from the fringes instead of taking part.
There are a ton of people here. People I knew from high school, a few from college, some from the neighborhood, a few people I worked with at the law center.
My parents invited a lot of their friends and colleagues as well, but I’m relieved to see that not a single person from the Demonio family is here.
Except for one.
“So is it a vodka tonic night or a water night?”
I turn toward the voice behind me and see Antonio standing there in jeans and a V neck t-shirt that hugs his muscular chest and biceps.
He grins and holds two cups out to me. I laugh and shake my glass at him.
“I’m good, thanks.”
“Are you sure?”
“Unless you have a bottle of Albarino handy,” I say slyly as I turn to look back at the crowd, then side eye him.
When I see him eyeing me critically, I laugh, and he joins me.
His cologne smells familiar and friendly.
“I was this close to going to find one for you,” he jokes.
“I know you were,” I laugh. “Oh God, give me one of those. I can’t let you stand there with two glasses.
Which one is the alcohol?”
“Guess,” he says, holding them behind his back.
“Mmmm…” I tap my chin thoughtfully then tap his right shoulder.
He hands me the glass, and I take a sip, then screw up my face.
“Ugh, fail. This one’s water.”
Antonio shakes his head at me, grinning, and replaces the water with the vodka tonic.
“Here you go, Gigi. Just don’t go getting me in trouble with your boyfriend.
I’m not trying to get jumped tonight.”
My laugh sounds hollow even to me, but I keep the fake smile plastered in place when Antonio narrows his eyes at me.
He opens his mouth to speak but stops.
“What?” I ask.
“You okay?” he asks, taking a sip of the water.
I nod, a lump in my throat, and turn back toward the crowd, taking a big gulp of the vodka tonic.
“Always,” I say and turn back to him, trying to make sure my eyes don’t negate the fake smile.
“Ah. Don’t want to talk about it. That’s fair.
” He’s quiet a minute. “So I hear you’re going to grad school.
NYU, right?”
I nod. “That’s right.”
“You still on the Upper West Side? That commute must be a bitch.”
I nod again.
“It…was.”
He keeps his gaze out toward the crowd, but takes another swallow of his drink thoughtfully.
“Was.”
“Yes, I…” I take another drink. I haven’t talked about the breakup with anyone other than Lexi and my mom.
“I moved back to the Bleeker Street apartment I had my freshman year.”
“That’s cool.
You guys going to sell the place you’re in now?
”
I shrug. “You’ll have to ask Tommy about that.
I don’t know what he’s going to do. It’s his place, and he still needs somewhere to live.
”
I don’t like to think about what he’s doing, why he’s not calling me or texting.
The idea of him staying in our house, of having other women in our bed makes me want to vomit, but I keep sipping that God damn drink like it’s my life line.
“So you moved back to Bleeker Street…alone.” He says it like he’s thinking out loud.
I don’t comment further, and he nods, swirling the ice in his glass.
“I figured you guys had found your way back to each other by now.”
I don’t respond.
Tommy would have to stop being so…Tommy for that to happen.
And he’d actually have to reach out and try to talk to me.
Antonio’s phone buzzes and he looks at it and frowns, then glances over at me.
When I don’t say anything, he tips the lip of my cup to look inside and sees that it’s empty.
“Want another one?”
“No, I’m good, I think,” I say turning to him, my smile a little less fake this time.
I’m grateful he’s not trying to make me talk about it.
“Thank you.”
“Okay. I’m about to head out.
Duty calls.”
I roll my eyes. “Always.”
He starts to walk away and then turns back to me.
“Hey, give me a call if you’re around this summer.
I live pretty close to Bleeker, so we could meet up for lunch or something.
”
Tommy would hate that, but that’s not why I won’t do it.
I flash a fake smile at him. “Sure.”
He stops and tilts his head at me, giving me a lopsided grin.
“What?” I ask.
“Give me your phone.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I know without looking that you don’t have my number, so I’m going to give it to you.
”
He’s not wrong. Tommy deleted that and every other guy’s number out of my phone the first time he brought me back to his suite at Dragovari Tower.
I ended up breaking that phone when I was moving out, and even though I ported the number when my dad took me to get a replacement, I didn’t bring over anything else: no pictures, no contacts, no memories.
I laugh and shake my head, handing it to him.
“You know me too well.”
“No, I know Tommy too well,” he says, taking the phone from me.
When he’s done, he puts it in my hand and holds onto it longer than he needs to.
When I look up at him, his expression is serious.
“Seriously, Giovanna. Call me.”
“Of course, yeah,” I say, like he’s being silly, and take the phone from him.
Without thinking, I give him a hug like I would hug any friend at the end of the conversation, but the second his arms close around me, I panic and pull away.
“Have a good night.”
I turn quickly and walk away from him before he can say anything else and stumble in the grass.
A man I don’t know reaches out to steady me, and I look up to say thank you and freeze.
Behind him, far off in the distance on the other side of the gate, is Tommy, and he’s looking right at me.
Even from this far away, I can see the pain on his face, and my heart rips in two.
He turns to look toward Antonio’s retreating form and then back at me.
I dart a glance at Antonio and turn back to Tommy, shaking my head vehemently, hoping that lets him know that nothing is happening between me and Antonio.
“Are you okay?” The guy holding onto my elbow must be saying this for the second or third time because he’s looking at me in concern.
I give him a fake smile and pry his fingers off me.
“All good. Fine. Yes, thanks so much.” I turn back toward Tommy, ready to run to him, to explain. But he’s gone.