Chapter 7
I gasped, sitting straight up. Goosebumps rolled over me, and it took longer than was acceptable to get my bearings.
Every muscle locked in place as one feeling became abundantly clear. There were eyes on me.
As soon as the night before came back to me, I scanned the shadows. It was another basic hotel room, average and boring, just like every other one in America. Nothing hinky in sight.
So why did my skin prickle and the hair on the nape of my neck stand on end?
After double and triple checking the room, I sighed in defeat and slumped against the headboard.
Muscles I didn’t even know I had ached and my bones throbbed as the adrenaline settled. I pulled the covers off me, mentally preparing to check the damage on my body.
A shiver rolled over me when the cold air hit my skin. That’s what I got for being too lazy to toss on anything more than an oversized T-shirt and underwear after my shower.
The wound on my shin was swollen and bruised with one open gash where the edge of the foundation made contact. The rest of my skin was covered in fingers and hand-shaped bruises. He’d done a number on me.
Yet the knowledge he could have done much worse nagged me. Why did he let me leave?
My phone rang on the end table. I grabbed it and answered it without checking the caller ID. I was too busy grabbing the cheap alarm clock to figure out what time it was.
“Quit being a worrywart, Willow. I’m not dead yet.” I should be. Maybe she finally found out what I already knew. This thing wasn’t as simple a job as we thought.
It was three in the afternoon.
“Sasha.” William’s familiar voice filled my ear.
I froze in place. My heart raced and the saliva in my mouth turned to ash. I smashed my lips to make sure nothing stupid or impulsive crossed them.
It was the first time I’d heard from him since that last job I was on.
“Sasha?” Why was his voice so normal?
Not like he destroyed me.
Tears pricked my eyes and hot rage boiled dangerously in my chest. I swallowed the hard rock lodged in my throat. The air itself grew heavier, making each breath harder.
“Why are you calling me?” There I managed to make it come out like a rabid bitch, instead of a broken one. I deserved a fucking medal.
“Don’t be like that.”
“What do you want?” I answered slowly, punctuating every word with enough contempt to hide how much I wanted to crumble.
“That attitude is what drove a wedge between us.” The light on the bedside table flickered as if it sensed my agitation.
“Actually, that was you sticking your cock into anything that gave you attention.” What did that say about me? That I was only loveable because I poured everything into him.
Just a stupid woman who wanted someone to love her.
I gritted my teeth. For someone who prided herself on outthinking and maneuvering the worst of the worst, I sure was stupid.
Every light I’d left on that morning when I dragged myself inside dimmed and flickered threateningly. Oppressive rage filled the air like an aura that had me double checking the shadows for the shape of a man hiding inside them.
No. You left him in the forest.
When the lights finally settled, they stayed on, but the light didn’t illuminate the room the same way. The darkness of the room was more suffocating than it was moments before.
Are you sure?
“That’s not fair.” William sighed, breaking my focus on the possibility of a threat. What did he say to me?
“I’m not being fair?” My eyes were impossibly wide. “I’ve met scum at the bottom of sewers more loyal than you.”
Literally.
I knew it was frowned upon, but I could appreciate why some Rinah witches boinked their hunts from time to time.
Immortal dedication sounds great after a human’s ripped your heart out.
I took a deep breath to rein myself in and bit off the rest of the tirade begging to be unleashed.
“She’s actually nice to me. She doesn’t bully me.” The pressure in the room grew even heavier as his words settled.
Like even the shadows knew that was complete bullshit.
“Bully?” What the fuck was he talking about?
I guess my voice reflected my thoughts because he whispered, “Cancun.”
That’s what this was about?
A forty-year-old man who couldn’t handle the word no. Even though I only said no once in ten years.
I bit my lip until the metallic tang of blood filled my mouth. Why?
Because I was softening the blow for a man who couldn’t handle his ego being touched. Because that’s what I always did. Smooth it over. Minimize the truth. When in truth, he couldn’t handle facts without coming unglued.
Flammable. Keep away from criticism of any kind.
A cold, bitter laugh barked out of me as the realization hit me. That I’d trained him to throw temper tantrums to get what he wanted, and that’s all this was now. “Yeah, I bet the young lady strokes your ego with lies and fake smiles.”
There wasn’t any reason to hold back anymore. We were over. He couldn’t withhold love or affection. He couldn’t do shit to me. That ship sailed.
Bully? Mean? I’d show him.
“Wittle baby stomping his feet, because I suggested a part-time job for the vacation he wanted.” I mimicked a toddler’s voice.
I’d been gentle when I reminded him that I’d taken months off to take care of him this year for one bullshit excuse or another.
I hadn’t said anything about it, figuring my absence was wearing on him, but a vacation wasn’t possible.
I didn’t have PTO or sick time. I was paid by the monster. No monster, no check from the elders.
Considering he hadn’t worked a day in ten years, asking him to fund the vacation wasn’t that big of a fucking ask.
Vinegar settled on my tongue. “You never did appreciate how much work it takes to keep you happy.”
How many times did I drown so he got what he wanted? The way I shrank so he felt more powerful. As if a mere man could ever have more power than me.
Why did I allow this for so long?
So you could feel like you were good enough.
“Sasha.” His voice held that final warning before he torched our entire day, week, or month. Depending on how egregious he found my sins to be.
The temperature took a nosedive, sending goosebumps and shivers over my skin. The air grew so thick, I was nearly gasping to take in air. The darkness deepened like it did in the forest, breaking me out of my righteous anger.
Shit.
“Send the divorce paperwork to Willow.” Every lightbulb in the room popped and shattered. I hung up the call and turned the phone back off. I scrambled to my feet, ignoring my complaining body. “Okay, asshole, you’ve got my attention now. Show yourself.”
The silence made my heart pound in my ears, making it harder to hear where the thing might be.
I reached for my tool belt. Only to realize it wasn’t on me. My eyes went to the table across the room where I’d dropped it on my way in. Not that it’d helped before.
That candle was better than nothing.
No. This time I had the sun.
I went to the door, opening it, and let light fill the room. As soon as the rays shone through the door the oppressive air blended with the fresh-cut grass scent from outside, making it easier to breathe.
A heavy thump next door snapped my attention to the wall behind my bed. A sound that was familiar. The kind of weight of a body dropping. I waited for a complaint or cry to sound through the thin wall that said someone fell and hurt themselves.
Soft muffled grunts of struggle met my ear. I waited an extra two seconds for a sound that would confirm this was just some kind of kinky sex.
But there wasn’t any.
A bad feeling ran over me.
I ran out of my room without shoes or pants. I pounded on the door. “Are you okay?”
I peeked between the curtains and found a huge man hanging from the support beam on the ceiling with eyes that reminded me of a frightened deer.
Fuck!
I grabbed a decorative fake plant, smashed the glass, and crawled in. The clock ticking on the wall taunted me. I wrapped my arms under his hips the best I could, lifting him up.
“Help!” I screamed at the top of my lungs, hoping someone else was walking through the parking lot. I raised onto my tip-toes to take even a little pressure off his throat. My grip slipped.
He was a big guy, I couldn’t clasp my arms all the way around. He looked like he could bench two of me on any casual Tuesday.
“Fire!” My throat hurt with how loud I shrieked. Come on!
My arms trembled. He was so heavy. My calves cramped, but I refused to acknowledge the pain.
“I don’t want to sound petty, but if I can’t kill myself, you can’t either,” I said, trying to get something like amusement out of him. That I understood what he was doing. That he was seen. A last-ditch effort to get him to help me save him.
He pointed over my shoulder, shaking his head back and forth with wide-eyed terror. I turned my head, but nothing was there. Not to the invisible eye anyway. Shit. I couldn’t spare a thought if I wanted to save this man.
He kicked his feet in alarm, like he was desperately trying to run away. It made me lose grip on him. He grunted when the noose tightened around his neck again, making my stomach flip.
“Ru–” But he didn’t have enough air to get the word out. Run. Icy cold air blew across my neck to confirm my suspicions.
“Calm down!” I yelled, grabbing him again. But he was struggling so much in his panic. The fear in his eyes was real and familiar in an uncomfortable way. “Please.”
“Is everything okay?” a young woman asked outside the window.
Did everything fucking look okay? “Call 911 and get in here to help me.”
“Okay.” She shook and struggled to unlock her phone.
I wanted to snap for her to hurry, but I smashed it down. It wouldn’t help her get it done any faster.
Hot fluid trickled down the front of my chest as he stopped fighting me, going limp, and the distinct scent of urine hit my nose.
A tear rolled down my cheek, when I looked down to confirm the giant stain of yellow on my white shirt.
Damn it.
“Oh, big guy.” I sighed, putting my finger to his femoral pulse to confirm what I already knew. “I’m sorry.”
He was dead.
I failed to save him.
I took two breaths even as muscles screamed. Snot filled my nose as tears blurred my eyes. Everything in me rejected the notion of surrendering.
You can’t save everyone. It’s too late.
But letting go felt like giving up on someone who probably needed therapy and medication. It wasn’t fair for him to lose his fight.
I peeled my fingers and arms off him one at a time until he hung there freely. I plopped bonelessly on the bed, slumping my shoulders.
Red and blue lights filled the room.
“What the hell?” The door unlocked with a key card and a beautiful young woman with a precious baby on her hip came in.
I’ll never forget that scream. Or how my heart shattered knowing that poor woman would pay for this decision for the rest of her life.
I’m so sorry.
I hung my head, letting my tears hit the carpet. The edges of my shadow crawled on the ground, curling closer to me even though I hadn’t moved.
I hadn’t come back alone this morning.