24. Declan
TWENTY-FOUR
DECLAN
Walking into The Pit, Cain was right. No matter how long you’ve been in this hell, the smell still makes you want to throw up. No one is in their cage tonight, I told Cain not to lock them away. When he comes down here, they’re free. If I’m going to be him one day then nothing changes.
I needed them to know they don’t scare me, and I’ll fight if I have to.
Cain told me there will more than likely be a fight because it’s the first time I’m here without him, and kept telling me to bring Lincoln with me, but I refused. This was not a test for me, but for Big Man, too. I told Cain, if Lincoln protected you down there, I need to know if Big Man will have my back no matter what.
Cain didn’t say anything, and if I know Cain well enough, he will be down here watching if things get out of hand and he will step in. If he needs to. If he doesn’t need to he will never tell me he’s watching. But knowing I have the back-up hidden in the dark makes me feel a little better.
Walking in, I look down at the two men fighting in the middle of The Pit. There are always people fighting, they have to climb up the ladder to fight Cain, to get out of here. I hear a few of them shouting at me, saying my babysitter isn’t here with me, or how they can fight me now and it’s an easy way out. I’m more than happy to show people I'm not the easy way out of this hell.
As I walk to Big Man's cell, the insults get worse, they even bring my mom into it, but I have to learn to ignore them, otherwise I will fight every time I come down here. Leaning on the cage I watch him punching the wall, and fuck do I remember the amount of times I had to hit that same wall.
“What has that wall done to you?” I ask with a humor in my tone, and he looks over his shoulder at me.
“It was in my way.” He finally turns to face me, and smiles. “You look good, pretty boy, your girl must be keeping you happy.” He taps my shoulder as I walk further into the cage. “Are you going to tell me her name?”
“No names remember. You asked to talk to me.” We both walk out of his cell, and look out at the cheering happening in the middle of The Pit. Someone is about to die, and they’re all waiting for the moment the killer finally does it.
At that moment when everyone is chanting, kill him, the energy moves through me. Every time I was in the middle, it gave me a thrill, the power of knowing I’m about to kill someone, having the power of their life in my hands.
“There is a family after you, I’ve only found out the surname, but I’m sure your brother knows everyone's full name from when they came down here. The Adams family. I know nothing else about them, they have some high connections, from what people are saying to me.”
We both watch the fighters in the middle as one guy breaks the other guy’s neck. It shouldn’t, but the side of my lips curl into a smile. A few months ago, I would have looked the other way, but how things change. How things have changed?
“Who said it’s the Adams family?” I ask. I know Big Man wouldn’t give me any wrong information, but the person who told him, now I don’t trust them, and will want to find out about them to make sure it’s not something to start a fight for no reason.
“More than one person, from what they’re saying the family put their son in here for protection, but the information I gave you, you need to talk to your brother about.” I turn to him and give him a nod letting him know I heard what he’s saying. “Are you staying or going?”
“You miss me?” I joke which makes him laugh. I go to say something but stop when the guy who just killed the man in The Pit stands on the other side of the railing, and stares at me. His face fucked up from the fight he just had, I’m sure a few more punches and his eyes might pop out.
He puts his arm out and points to me. “My way out.” I don’t move from where I am, but I do smile. I’m everyone’s way out, that’s what they all think. He leans up and grabs the railings. He pulls himself up to stand at my level. “Let me kill you.” His voice breaks as he says the words but also sounds as if he's been hit in the neck a few times.
I take a quick peek to the side and see a few others walking closer to me. So, this is how the night is going to go. I’m really not in the mood to fight, but if I need to I will, and hope I’ve never been wrong about Big Man having my back.
I’m counting six, six fuckers who are most likely going to die tonight. I turn to Big Man who is smiling, he looks towards me.
“It’ll be like old times.” Before I can even say anything back to him, he grabs the guy from the back of the neck, and headbutts him so hard he falls back into The Pit.
Yes, just like old times.
* * *
My back and my face hurt. I know Big Man would have my back, because if he didn’t, he knows Cain will kill him. But it would be me that kills him for betraying me. The moment I met him I had a good feeling about him, and last night proved it.
Six men started a fight with me last night, bastards. They thought they would win, but they forgot I have a friend there who I know will have my back, no matter what.
Now my body is feeling it. When I breathe it hurts. I smile and it fucking hurts too. There isn’t one part of my body which doesn’t hurt right now.
Lileah messaged me to let me know they were having lunch outside, and I asked her where Trixie was as she wasn’t messaging me. Lileah told me she’s also outside, but with her stupid friends, who I do not like, but I have a feeling it’s not all because of them, but because of what Trixie smokes around them.
Lileah also told me not to lose my shit when I get there either, which only annoyed me, what the hell was that meant to mean. I see Lileah with our normal group and look around for Trixie.
She looks at the joints Ash is showing her, and my jaw clenches, no she fucking isn’t buying a joint off the fucker. My hands clench up, ready to punch him. But I should be pissed off with Trixie, I told her not to touch that shit. Don’t punch anyone at school, don’t punch anyone at school, I keep telling myself. I’m not sure I can listen to my own advice right now.
Walking over to her, I see her smile at him, taking the joints from him. I can’t see how many, though. Why the hell does she smoke it? What is so fucked up in her head she needs to smoke shit like that.
Trixie puts the joints in her bag, and goes to hand Ash some money, but before he can take it, I slap her hand so hard the money falls out, and her head snaps to me. Her eyes open wide realizing it’s me and I can see on her face the pain she’s in with how hard I slapped her hand.
“What the fuck dude?” Ash shouts, as he kneels to grab the money off the floor.
Ignoring him, I wrap my hand around Trixie's neck, and squeeze hard so she knows I’m serious about the words which are about to come out of my mouth.
“Are you listening?” I ask her, and she nods. “You ever talk to him again; I’ll rip his fucking hands off. You smoke that shit, and I swear on my fucking life you will regret it. Do you fucking understand me?” Her hands wrap around mine trying to loosen my grip around her neck, but she can keep trying because with the anger I have right now, I don’t think anything will help loosen my grip.
“You’re hurting her!” Ash shouts, and I snap to look at him.
“Then she might want to answer my fucking question, and I’ll sort you out later.” I turn back to Trixie, and the tear escapes the corner of her eyes. “Do. You. Fucking. Understand?” Each word comes out slowly, so I know she’s heard me. She nods quickly, and I let her go. I put my hand out, and tell her to give me the joints she's bought from him.
Trixie takes a deep breath and looks down at her bag. Why is she fighting this? Did she not hear what I said to her? Opening her bag, she pulls out two joints, and places them in my hand.
“Go sit with Lileah and don’t piss me off.” I wait for her to walk away, but she looks over at Ash before she does. Once she is far enough away, I turn to Ash. “You seem to be her only friend here, and I’m fine with that. But here is your warning, you sell her this shit again, I promise you, you’ll be eating through a straw for the rest of your life, understand?”
“Yes.” The one word escapes his lips with a shake, and I walk away from him.
This is not what I wanted when I got to school today, hell I didn’t even want to be here, but after last night all I wanted was to be close to Trixie. I wanted her to wipe away some of the bad memories of last night. But no, she wanted to piss me off instead, and if my body wasn’t in so much pain, I might take her to a classroom to show her how much she’s pissed me off.
Joining everyone at the table, I look over at Lileah who’s studying my face, she's the first family member to see me, and with the way she’s looking at me, it’s not going to be long until she tells my brothers.
“I’m good,” I reassure her, but the hurt in her eyes is still there.
“What the fuck happened to you?” Pike asks.
“I was fucking your mother last night, and your dad wasn’t happy about it. He got lucky, but you should see him,” I snap back at him, not even looking towards him, and all I hear is him telling me to fuck off which makes me chuckle to myself a little.
I glance over at Trixie without turning my head, then get back to everyone at the table.
“You hear what your girl did?” Vinn asks.
“No,” I reply then look over at Lileah, for not telling me. I asked her to keep an eye on her, and she couldn’t even fucking do that for me. Yet, I’m not going to say anything to her about it, because it’s not her fault, she doesn’t know Trixie smokes this stuff, I want to say now and again, but I don’t think that is the case.
I think she smokes this every chance she gets, because when I first met her, I could smell it on her.
“It was funny!” Vinn adds, making me turn to face him. “Steph was being a bitch, and I think she pushed your girl too far, and she punched Steph, her nose is pretty messed up.” I know I shouldn’t show Trixie I’m proud of her, but the corner of my lips curls up into a smile.
I look around to see if I can see Stephanie, but nothing. Turning to Trixie I sign.
What did she say?
Trixie won’t even look at me, she can be pissed off with me all she wants. I don’t regret my reaction to seeing her buy a joint from the idiot.
Nothing.
Oh, I’m going to have fun making her scream for being like this with me. Once my body recovers, I’m going to make sure she’s crying and begging me to let her finish, but I’m not mean and I’ll give her another chance, so I sign.
You have one minute to tell me, or I’m going to fuck that mouth of yours until it hurts. Now we both know I love fucking it, maybe tonight I won’t stop.
Her eyes widen, but yet she’s not looking at me, but past me, then looks around the table. No one else knows how to sign, if they did, I’m sure she would have become friends with them.
Nothing, the same as what everyone calls and says about me. I'm a freak, and she doesn’t blame you for not walking around with me. And that I stole her boyfriend.
Giving my head a little shake I lean closer and tell her to look, she doesn’t. “Look at me, or I think I might need to bring the list out, and start using it as punishment, instead of repayment.” Her eyes snap to mine, and I laugh, because now I’m thinking my list will be a good punishment idea. I need to get it off her so I can add things to it now, maybe take things off, to add more punishment ideas.
You’re not a freak, and I’ll be showing the whole world you’re my girl. I sign, and she looks down at her hands.
I close my eyes for a moment, I’m tired, but I hear Lileah, pulling me out of the thought I was about to get into.
“Declan-”
“Lileah, I’m good.” I turn to face her, and this is where that freaking twin vibe hits, because she knows I’m not fine, because I’m not.
Is my head in a messed up place? Yes. Could I have stayed in The Pit for longer? Yes. Do I hate Cain for picking me to go down there? Fuck yes. But I’m putting my part into the family business, building our name more than what it is already. I wish it didn’t fuck with my head so much.
My phone rings, and I lean to the side closer to Trixie so I can dig it out of my pocket, and she smells amazing. Her scent always hits me, and my dick. Looking down at the name flashing on the phone. Cain. What the hell is he calling for?
I get up, and tell Trixie and Lileah to follow. I don’t want Trixie to be around them, and Lileah, well it saves me repeating what Cain said to me. Especially because she’s so worried about me and will be nagging me for answers until I give her something. I’m not in the mood for her one million questions. Sitting at a table far enough from everyone, I put my phone on speaker and sit down on the bench.
“How are you?” Cain asks.
“Fine, Lileah and Trixie are here,” I tell him, I know we don’t hide anything from Lileah, and I don’t plan on hiding anything from Trixie. “Were you there last night?” I ask.
“I was. You did good. Proud mentor here, I saw your message, I’ve got someone watching the family, but you watch your back. And the request about Big Man, you want him out, but does he?” Cain asks, and I look around the school, making sure there isn’t anyone around I don’t know. Like everyone has been telling me, watch my back, the other reason I want Lileah around me when we’re not home.
“Why the hell would he want to stay down there-”
“Because the second he’s out, and word is out, the mafia—Declan, the fucking mafia will be after him,” Cain snaps at me, and I shake my head. “And this isn’t a little mafia family, they will hurt anyone who is close to him.”
There’s a silence between us, because I don’t know what to say to him. Maybe Big Man not coming out is a good idea, but maybe they don’t care anymore, the guy in on his fourth wife, the wife Big Man killed was his fucking third.
“Declan, you want him out, and if he wants to get out, I’ll grant it. But you need to talk to him first.” Cain breaks the silence.
“Do you know his name?” I ask.
“I do, and if you want it, I’ll give it to you. Remember The Pit is yours, too.” Cain reminds me. “Declan, I’ll have your back, and fight, you know I will. But to get mixed up with this Mafia family, you might want to ask the rest of the family." I hear Lincoln in the background talking about someone wanting a fight in The Pit, and then telling me he thought I did good last night.
“Cain, I would only need you to have my back, but I will talk to him.” I told Cain the name of the family and he said he will look at who the person was I killed, and then we can go from there.
“Good, Autumn wants everyone over tonight for dinner-” Cain stops talking when both Lileah and I laugh.
“Look at this, the man never let us anywhere close to his apartment, and now-”
“And now this man can throw you down there for a night just to piss you off. Be here at seven and don’t be late.” The line goes dead, but Lileah and I continue to laugh.
“Give me the list,” I turn to Trixie and she looks at me with wide eyes. “I’ll be nice, I promise.” I wink, but it doesn’t make her feel any better.
Going to get some water.
“Is she okay?” Lileah asks, and I watch Trixie walking away.
“Yeah, why?” I ask looking down at the list.
“When I picked her up, she looked off, and I heard her wince out in pain when she got out of the car.” I look back over at Trixie, and turn to Lileah.
“She does kickboxing, she’s not good.” I chuckle to myself, and get back to the list, but the silence from Lileah makes me look over at her.
“Something felt off this morning, and you four always say follow your gut, and my gut is saying something is wrong.” I lick my lips and watch Trixie walking back over towards us, and I look over her body, she got most of it covered up today, but it will be naked tonight, I’ll look at it better than.
“You got kickboxing tonight?” I ask her as she sits down.
I went this morning.
I give a slight nod of the head, and get back to the list. Should I think something is wrong because Lileah has a feeling? But what could be going on with her, her dad seems like a nice enough guy, I mean her step-brother is an asshole, maybe I need to look into him a little more.
“Can I drive with you to Cain’s?” Lileah asks, pulling me out of my thoughts. I give her a nod, there is no way she needs to be anywhere alone at the moment. “I’m going over to the girls, meet you after class.” She walks away, and I take the list off Trixie, and start writing a few things down.
Six blowjobs in one night.
You stand naked in my bedroom, so I can see you whenever I want.
I get to fuck you over and over again, but you don’t get to come.
You can’t touch me.
I’ll add more later tonight while I give her a five-minute break, I can add to the list. I put a star by the top one and lean in closer to her. “Your mouth better be ready for me tonight.”
She looks at the list, then puts it back into her bag. I take her hands in mine, and look down at the tattoos on her hands. “You designed my tattoo?” I ask, letting go of her hands.
I’ve started it. She digs through her bag, and pulls out the drawing pad, and opens it to the page. There is still a lot to do. I take the pad from her to have a look, she really is good at this, and the tattoo looks amazing.
I look through the pad, and stop at the outfit she’s designing, it’s not her style, so I turn the page to her.
Lileah asked me again for a prom dress, thinking I would try something. I’m playing around with three ideas. I continue flicking through the pad and stop at a page which gets my attention. The smile on my lips is so big right now.
I wanted to see what it would look like.
I move in closer to her, wrapping my hand around her neck softly, and pull her in closer and kiss her lips, then whisper. “It looks fucking amazing.”
I feel her lips curling against mine, as I kiss her again. This woman is mine, and I’m never letting anything happen to her. She’s mine now, and I will always protect what’s mine.