Ruin

26. Declan

TWENTY-SIX

DECLAN

How the fuck was I so blind? How the hell did I miss something wasn't right with Trixie. I should have looked into her better, I’m so pissed off with myself. Fine, at the start she was someone to mess with, and I didn’t really care, but things changed. The second it all changed I should have looked into her.

Fuck! I shout to myself.

I knew there was something off with her stepbrother, but I never thought they were together. Maybe that’s why he was being a fucking asshole with me when I was over there. He hated that I was a threat, taking his girl from him, but not once did she stop anything. If they are together, I’m sure she would have said she was dating someone. Shit.

The music is loud from the garden, my brothers wanted to chill today and have a pool party, just us. I was fine with that, I’m not in the mood to be around other people anyway, plus my body is still in fucking pain. I look down at my phone for what feels like the hundredth time, still nothing from Trixie.

Declan

If you’re not here in 15 mins, I’m coming to get you!!!!

I’m not sure where to fucking look for her, though. Once I snapped at Stephanie and told her I’ll sort her out later, I went to the car, and she was gone. Not sure where she had gone, I drove past her house, her car wasn’t there, and I even went to Ash’s house, her car wasn’t there either.

Other than that, I didn’t know where else to look, I never asked where she hangs out with him, mostly because I don’t like him. She’s ignoring my messages, which is also pissing me off.

Mason

Stop being a baby and get down here.

Ignoring Mason’s message, I sit on the bed, and look at the pile of notepads I’ve been taking from Trixie. Grabbing the top one, I open it to a random page, and look at the drawing of a man standing headless, and blood pouring out of his neck. God, she draws some dark shit, and it makes me happy seeing it.

Yet there are some nice images of sexy position for me to fuck her in, and there is an image of me topless, the detail is very good.

Continuing through the pad, seeing some pretty messed up images, but I stop at one image. Fuck. Quickly looking through the pad I see another picture with the same style.

Miles

Your girl is here, she doesn't look too good.

Ignoring the message for a moment, I look through another pad and see some other drawings which are the same.

My jaw tightens as I take in a deep breath, I grind my teeth together, holding in the anger I have building up inside my head. I am such a fucking idiot I don't know if I'm angry with myself or at Trixie for doing this to herself.

I should calm myself down. I know I should calm myself down, but I can't. I can't as I continue to flick through the pages. Yes, she's drawn some fucked up shit in here. Yes, she's drawn my head on a stick a few times, and some other things messed up images, but none of those bother me, because I knew she hated me then.

Calm down, Declan. Calm the fuck down. No, my body is not listening to what my brain is telling it to do. I throw the notepad on the floor and get downstairs, and I lock eyes with Trixie. For that split second, our eyes connect together, and I see the color drain from her face.

Power walking over to her, my hand grips around her neck to stand her up, and Lileah shouts at me, but I tell her to fuck off, I'm not in the mood for anyone to stop me.

“Declan!” Lileah shouts.

“Lileah, fuck off,” I shout at her as my grip around Trixie’s neck gets tighter. “How much did you smoke?” I can see it in her eyes, she’s high as a fucking kite right now, and on top it off she stinks of booze. “Trixie, how much did you smoke?” She shuts her eyes, and I see a teardrop land on her cheek.

“Open your eyes. Trixie.”

She does, and I feel Mason and Miles close to me as Hayden moves in front of Lileah to get her away from me, they've seen this side of me before. They saw this side of me before I went to The Pit, so they know what I can be like. “Now, remove the fucking bracelets.” She shakes her head, which makes me chuckle to myself. “You think I was asking you? Remove the fucking bracelets.”

“Declan, let her neck go, she's turning white.” Miles tells me.

“Then if she wants to breathe, she needs to take off her fucking bracelets,” I snap back at Miles, but keep my eyes locked on Trixie. “You want to breathe, remove them.” And if I blinked, I would have missed the slight nod of her head.I let go, but don't step back.

Trixie looks down at her hands shaking, her breath is coming out heavy,.“Remove them yourself, or I'll fucking remove them for you.” She goes to take a step back, but the chair behind her stops her. Miles takes a small step in front of me, but I push him out of the way. “Don't fucking test me, brother.” I have three sets of eyes on me, burning into me, waiting for me to snap. I’m also waiting for me to snap, too.

I wait for Trixie to remove them. I can hear my heart drumming in my ear as she removes one by one, each one thrown into her bag, and my heart is banging against my chest to the point I can actually feel it wanting to escape. I don't know if it's because of anger or if it’s because of dread.

I look down at the bandage. “Remove them.” She shakes her head, and I go to take a step forward, but Hayden pushes me quickly. “Remove them, Trixie.”

She unties the thin layer of the bandage. These are new. They haven't even fucking healed. I can still see some of the blood escaping.

I hear Lileah, “Oh God.”

I take a step forward, but my brothers hold me back. “Did you cut yourself because of me?” I shout, but nothing.

“Trixie, did you cut yourself because of me?” Nothing, she says nothing. She's not doing anything. No shake of the head. No signing, nothing.

“Trixie, did you cut yourself because of what I did to you? You can stand there in silence, but Trixie, I need to know.”

I'm trying to fight my way out of my brother's hold so I can get closer to her. But they’re not letting me go. They probably see the anger brewing in my eyes right now, and they probably feel it with how tense my body is against theirs.

In one way I'm thankful they’re stopping me, because I don't know what the fuck I would do if I get close to her. “Did I fuck up so bad you had to hurt yourself?” I shout at her, I need to know if this is my fault, I need to know I fucked up, and I need her to know I would never have touched her if I knew she was doing this to herself. She needs to know I fucked up and I’m sorry.

“No.” The faintest sound escapes her.

My whole body breaks down on me, and I stare at her for a minute. A sudden coldness hits my core, and a tingle hits my skin.

“You can talk.” I try to take a step closer to her, but my brothers are still stopping me. I still don't know if it's a good thing or a bad thing. And then she signs.

No one listens when I talk.

“No one fucking listens when you talk. From the very minute I walked into the cafeteria and sat at your table, I've been listening.” I slap my hand against my chest. “I've listened to you. I've spoken to you.” I stop and take a deep breath and stare at her. I don't know what to say, what to do. And then all of a sudden, everything goes blank.

“Did I fuck up so bad you had to hurt yourself?”

Hayden is standing in my view of Trixie. Miles and Mason, are standing next to me.

“Calm down. D,” Hayden's words finally hit my ears. God knows how many times he said that to me. “Lileah, take Trixie, home-”

“No,” I snap.

I can't send her back there, I don't know what is going on.

“Lileah-”,

“No, she's not going back to that house,” I shout again.

“You can't talk to her when you’re this angry.” Hayden gets in my view again.

“She's. Not. Going. There.” My eyes wide as each word comes out of my mouth and I look at Hayden, and we have a silent conversation where I'm telling him she cannot go back to the house, not without me next to her and he gives me a nod.

“Hayden,” I hear Lileah. “Hayden.”

“What?” he snaps.

“Take a little step to the left?”

“What?”

“Take a step to the left with Declan.” We all move to the left, and look to where she's pointing and see the red dot on the wall.

Fuck, this is all I need.

“Declan, get in the house,” Hayden shouts at me.

“No-”

“They want you dead. They don't want us dead, Get in the fucking house.”

“No.” I lock eyes with Trixie again. “Did you hurt yourself, because of what I did?”

She signs. No, only because of the things which happened after.

“Lileah, take Trixie to Cain’s, explain what is happening. D get in the house.” I look back over at Hayden, but I don’t move. “We'll block you while you get in there, once we've sorted this out, Cain will bring her back here, and you can talk to her, plus her wrists are still fucking bleeding,” Miles tells me and I look down at her wrists. Fuck

“Lileah, tell Cain she needs a doctor as well.” Hayden tells her again, and Hayden looks behind me. “The dot is gone.” Hayden turns around still standing in front of me, and I look over around the area to see where the hell they could have been standing. There is nothing but woods around us, and there is no way anyone could shoot me from that distance.

“Mason, Lileah is not going alone.” I look over at Trixie, who is grabbing her bag, and I go to take a step closer but stop when Miles slams his hand into my chest. “Where are you going?” My voice escapes a lot harder than it needed to, but the anger of what I’ve seen, and the fucking family coming here, is still hot inside me.

I don’t -

“I’m going to stop you, you think I’m letting you leave, you are fucking crazy. You have a lot of questions to answer.” She looks over at Hayden, I have no idea why the only way they will help her is if she talks, and I don’t think it is happening.

“D, let her go. Lileah and Mason will look after her. She’s high, and we don’t know how much she’s had to drink. Plus, you need to calm down.” Hayden pushes me away from her, and back into the house. Miles follows us and I watch Mason stand in front of Trixie, and nod his head towards the car.

I hate this, fucking hate it. But I think Hayden is right, I do need to calm down, because I won’t listen to anything she has to say to me.

“Come on, let's check the cameras around the house to see if we can see who was pointing the gun to you.” Miles pats my back as he walks away from me, and I watch Trixie walking away from me.

She can’t hurt herself where she is, I have faith in my family to look after her, but yet my body doesn’t relax.

What the hell happened to her? And who am I killing for it?

* * *

“If you get out of here-” I stop talking when Big Man laughs. “What?”

“There are two ways out of here. In a body bag, or you fight and win against the boss.” Big Man throws a punch but I duck out the way. I’ve gotten faster, and he knows it. “And I don’t plan to fight him, nor do I plan on leaving in a body bag either.”

No one down here mentions Cain by his name, that's the fear he has in this place.

“And that’s why I said if. If you get out of this place, what is the one thing you’d like to do?” I ask as I punch his hands a few times. People have finally stopped picking me to fight with and I think it’s for two reasons. One, they have seen Big Man training me, and two, the last two people I killed, I killed a lot faster than they all thought I would.

“I love my wife, still do to this day, but if I could have one thing, it would be a cold beer in one hand while watching the football game, and a woman between my legs on her knees sucking my dick. God, I miss a woman’s mouth.” I laugh at his answer, now that’s the most manly answer I think anyone could say to me. “What about you, Pretty Boy?”

Now, I know I’ll get out of here and hope I don't die before that.

“Get a good fucking meal. A burger. God knows I need a good burger.” I laugh when I hear a full roar from Big Man, the first one in a few days.

“You know what, I’ve forgotten what good food tastes like,” he jokes and we both look over towards the other side of The Pit when a fight breaks out. “They come down here to escape the danger they have out there, little do they know, you have more enemies down here than out there. There are just rules here.” I watch the two guys fighting until Cain’s men break them up.

“Do you ever worry about the mafia being after you, or if they will come here?” I lean on the wall and watch the fight in front of us.

“Every single day, and if they come, I’ll fight.” I look over at him when the words escape him quietly, because that didn’t sound like he believed it himself. “You know, you’re the first person down here I’ve liked.” He walks back into his cell, and I follow him.

“I knew you liked me,” I joke, and he quickly turns around to punch me, but he misses. “You know, to get out of here, I might fight you. You’re slow, I could win.”

“Has he slept?” I hear Cain.

Without opening my eyes, I reply. “Yes, I’ve slept. Two days ago, when Trixie was in my bed.” First fucking night in a few weeks, I slept more than I had before, and it felt good. Opening my eyes, I lean forward on the couch, and look over at Trixie. My eyes go straight to her wrists to make sure she hasn’t tried to cut herself again. Did you hurt yourself?

No, Lileah wouldn’t leave my side, and he scares me.

“My twin sister could feel how worried her brother is. Everyone is scared of him.” I nod towards Cain who walks away from the conversation, and I look at Trixie watching my brothers behind me.

“What have you found?” I hear Cain behind me.

I suppose we have to talk.

“We do. But my brothers don’t trust I won’t lose my shit and kill someone. So, they will be in the other room.” Hayden taps my shoulder, and I wait for them to all leave the room. I don’t blame my brothers for being worried about my reaction to anything Trixie will tell me, because I haven’t been able to relax all day waiting for this conversation.

Lileah walks in front of me, and stares at me for a moment. “Be gentle please,” she whispers, and I give her a nod.

I lean back on the couch and watch Trixie move her weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t know what to ask or say to you, so it’s better if you start where you want to start.”

She plays with her bracelets, and I can already see the water building in her eyes. “Come here.” She walks closer to me, and I pull her to sit on the table in front of me. Placing my hands on her thigh, hoping it will relax her a little, because fuck does she look tense. “Did you ever hurt yourself after the things I did to you?” I ask. I know I’ve asked her this, but the anger I had and the emotions she was going through then. I need to make sure I didn’t make her do this.

She shakes her head, and I wipe the tears away, and lift her face a little to look at me, she takes a deep breath, and looks over at the other room, not sure why because you can’t see in there.

My step-brother has been raping me since my dad and his mom moved in together. No matter how much I fight it never works. He hits me, then rapes me.

My body tenses up, what the fuck did she just sign to me? My hands ball into fist, but I tell myself not to snap, not yet anyway, she needs me to be calm. Even though I’m telling myself to calm down, I can feel my body ready to kill someone.

I hold her hands, because fuck she’s moving them so fast, I’m scared I’m going to miss what she is saying. I know this is hard for her, and the last thing she wants to talk about, but before I kill anyone I need to know.

“This is hard for you, I get it. But you can talk, talk to me. Let me hear your beautiful voice.” I hate that she's still not talking to me and thinks this is the best way for her to tell me. Fuck, I want to hear my name from her lips. She shakes her head, okay, she doesn’t want to talk. “When and why did you stop talking?”

She wipes the new tears away from her cheeks and looks anywhere but at me. My little flower is broken, and right now I don’t know how to fix her. But I promise myself, no matter what happens, no one will ever break her again.

Three years ago. She takes in another deep breath and shakes her head a little. He always said he was going to get me pregnant, and he did. I was so angry with myself for not-

“Hey, let's not think like that, what happened after?” She is going to blame herself over and over again, and there is no way in hell I’m letting her think this is her fault, it’s not fucking happening.

I went to the hospital, and told them I was raped, and I’m pregnant and don’t want the baby. It took a while, but they finally let me get an abortion. I never thought I would get rid of a baby, but I could-

“Trixie, no one is blaming you for doing it. No one.” She nods her head, but it’s only a slight nod.

Because I told them I was raped, they called the police, and I thought finally someone will help me. I told the police everything, my dad was away on business so they called the bitch, and she told the police I was a jealous little girl who had a one-night thing with her son, and she said it can never happen again, and I started to- She stops for a moment and looks anywhere but me. I’m happy she’s not looking at me, because rage is the only thing she will see in my eyes, and it’s taking everything in me not to get up and go to her house. She put the whole blame on me. She said I was trying to win him back. I got back home and the whole nightmare started again. After that I stopped talking, what was the point no one listened to me, anyway.

In three years she's not said a word. The bastard got her pregnant, and the bitch did nothing. But there is one question I need the answer to.

“Your dad?”

Too blinded by her, and they never told him, and I refused to talk. What was the point? It was my word against hers, and she can do no wrong in his eyes.

I take in a deep breath while I try to stay calm, she needs me to stay calm. I don’t want her to be scared of me, I want her to feel safe with me. My phone dings in my pocket.

Unknown

Let the countdown begin 3 days.

I close my eyes and throw my phone to the side for a moment and look at Trixie as she wipes the tears away again. As I watch her, a thickness builds in my throat, and the tightness hits my chest.

“Has he touched you-” Before I can finish my question she nods her head, and then lifts the side of her top up, and I see the bruises and my hands curl up into balls.

“Not kickboxing. I’m a fucking idiot.” I get up quickly as I feel my body beginning to shake from the anger building inside me. I kick the chair so it goes flying to the other side of the room, and on cue my brothers rush in.

I turn my back to them, and look out to the pool, I’m going to fucking kill him and it’s going to be so fucking slow, too. But at the same time, I’m angry with myself because I could have seen the signs for this, I should have seen something was wrong, and I didn’t.

I feel Cain stand next to me, and Hayden on the other side, and for a moment they stand there in silence.

“I got another message.” I break the silence, because it’s annoying and I’m not in the mood for anything they have to say to me about the situation.

Right now, all I want to do is kill someone, but I need to be here for Trixie. Taking in a deep breath I walk back over to the couch, and sit next to Trixie, opening my phone up, and throwing it over to Hayden.

Leaning back on the couch, I pull Trixie to snuggle up against me, and I sign as she moves in closer to me.

You will never have to worry about anyone hurting you again. I’ll kill anyone who touches you, and the ones who have hurt you, they will feel a lot of fucking pain.

She takes my hand in hers, and I feel a tear escaping her eyes, I let her tears flow without saying anything to her. I lean my head back on the couch and stare up at the ceiling and try to relax my heartbeat from pounding in my chest right now.