Chapter 7
AIDEN
My body still ached with the memory of Nate, even days later. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had fucked me that well. Had owned me that completely.
In the shower, I stood under the spray with a smile on my face and a lump in my chest.
Part of me hadn’t been surprised he’d snuck out before I woke up the next morning. But I was more surprised he hadn’t left a note with his name and number or anything. I was sure there had been a spark, and that he’d felt it too.
Not that I expected him to want to be my Daddy for real, and God, I couldn’t believe the reaction that word had pulled from deep within me.
I’d never called a man that in bed, or out of it.
But the way he’d whispered the word in my ear, coaxing me to call him that.
A shiver ran through my body at the memory, a yearning for more.
Unable to stop myself, I put one hand on the cool tile and the other slid down my wet body until I reached my aching cock. A gasp escaped my lips as I tightened my fist around myself and gave one slow tug, working my half hard dick to full mast.
“Fuck.” I shuddered as I continued to stroke myself until I was panting. The memory of Nate’s lips and hands on my body drove me wild. A live wire could have been put in the shower and I didn’t think I’d get worked up as fast.
He was intoxicating. Breathtaking. Dangerous.
I didn’t usually go for the type, being a homicide detective. My kind of guy was usually the safer bet, more reserved and easygoing. Like Duncan.
But fuck. Nate.
Daddy.
My fist moved faster, twisting over the head, working in the pre-cum over my shaft that leaked out. With a grunt of satisfaction, my head fell back as I pumped my hips into the tight circle made by my fingers.
Thoughts of the way Nate had worked me open and fucked me hard and fast, worked my body like no one else ever had, filled my head as I fucked my hand hard and fast, needing to spill my release.
He ruined me in one single night, with one fuck, for any other man.
“Oh, God, yes, Daddy.” I came hard in my hand, my vision blacking out around the edges. My breath came out in short pants as the water cooled on my back.
I quickly washed and rinsed away any evidence of my shame. I’d never made myself come so hard before. Not over a guy who I was never going to see again, who had made it clear when he left without a word that he wanted nothing to do with me.
Fuck. My. Life.
It was fine. Everything was fine. I could go about my life. Move on and forget him.
A heavy sigh settled into my chest without my consent as I pulled my clothes on, barely even noticing what I had pulled out of my closet. I felt like a robot as I got dressed, barely registering my movements.
“Fuck.” Just as I was leaving the bedroom, I rushed back into the bathroom and threw open the medicine cabinet. I stared at the pill bottles on the shelf, my throat working, unable to swallow the lump that had formed.
Tears stung my eyes as I cursed Nate, even if it wasn’t his fault. Of course he would have had questions about the scars.
I grabbed the bottles and tossed back the pills, hoping it would keep the panic at bay, despite the fact I knew it was unlikely. Things had been worse the last couple days since meeting Nate, since he asked about the scars.
Even though it had been a long time since I’d been a victim, my brain still forgot sometimes.
Closing my eyes, I shook off the thoughts. They didn’t do anyone any good, especially me. And it wasn’t even like Nate had stuck around to learn anything real about me. Which, yeah, sucked, but it was probably for the best.
Once he learned how much of a basket case I was, he’d leave. Everyone left. Not that I could blame them. No one should have to be saddled with my metric shit ton of baggage.
I glanced up into the mirror as I closed the door and grimaced.
Shouldn’t have done that. I looked like shit. Couldn’t be helped, though. The nightmares had been worse the last few days. I’d actually been surprised I’d slept through the night with Nate.
Huh.
In the kitchen, I slammed the freezer door closed after I grabbed two waffles and angrily tossed them in the toaster.
Man, he was such an asshole for putting that thought in my head. And then he had the nerve to leave.
Fuck him.
No, fuck me. I need Daddy to fuck me until I can’t move or think.
I let out a groan as I leaned against the counter, knocking my head against the cabinet. Maybe if I did it enough times, I’d knock some sense into my brain.
The man was gone. It was a one-time thing and I needed to forget him. To forget the impulse to track him down and make him mine for real.
Because that was all my dumpster fire of a life needed, for the man I had a one-night stand with to press charges for me stalking and harassing him.
I grabbed a plate and fork, spinning it in my hands as I thought about ways I could try to find him and possibly make it seem like I ran into him by accident. He gave me his name, so it wouldn’t be out of the realm of possibilities to look him up and see what I could find.
No. He left. If he wanted more, he would have stayed. Or left a note. Something.
I sighed as I cut my breakfast and drenched it in syrup.
If I couldn’t have him, then the sugar high would have to do.
Glancing at the clock, I saw that the time had gotten away from me with all my maudlin thoughts, so I shoved the last few bites of food in my mouth and tossed my dishes in the sink.
When I got to my front door, I almost walked out without my keys, badge, and gun. I was on a fucking roll.
“Jesus Christ.”
I needed to get it together. I couldn’t let a man get to me like that. It was a one-night stand. He’d made no promises or anything, so I needed to stop acting like a high schooler who had been ditched by his prom date.
There were too many people counting on me to do my fucking job for me to act like an asshole.
After taking a few deep breaths, I got my shit together—literally and figuratively—and drove to the precinct, where I hoped it wouldn’t be a nonstop day. With Victoria on vacation housesitting and babysitting for her cousin while she was on her honeymoon, that left me on rotation.
It wasn’t that I didn’t like partnering with the other guys.
It was just that they weren’t my partner.
Though, I was usually left on my own, unless I was filling in for someone else who was out sick.
It wasn’t too bad, just usually boring. We didn’t have many active cases, and none that had a lot of active leads, which meant I was stuck playing gopher.
Overall, it wasn’t a bad deal.
Except for Enid, our clerk at the front desk who stopped me as soon as I walked in. Of course, nothing escaped her attention. That woman might as well be a police officer for how scary her attention to detail was.
“Well, well, if it isn’t our very own Casanova.” Her smirk as she leaned over the desk and threw me a wink let me know I wasn’t going anywhere without spilling all the beans.
I groaned and looked at the sky, hoping for lightning to strike me dead. That woman was a menace to society, and to my health. There wasn’t a party that Enid wasn’t the last one to leave, because heaven forbid she miss any of the gossip.
“There’s nothing to tell, En.” I tried to scoot past her, but she put her arm out to block my path. Unfortunately, I wasn’t much bigger than her, and even if I were, I wasn’t stupid enough to even try to use intimidation to get past her. She was a beast who would have eaten me for breakfast.
One perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose as she leaned against the desk, hand on her hip. She didn’t need to utter a word, just stared at me expectantly, and she knew I’d crack like an egg.
“Seriously? Come on, Enid. This isn’t high school.” I knew I was whining, but I couldn’t help it.
When she didn’t budge, I threw my hands in the air in defeat. Her smirk of victory made me want to let out a growl, but I was feeling too off-kilter from the last two days since I’d woken up on my own to be able to pull it off.
“I really don’t know what you want.” I let out a sigh and ran my hand through my hair. “We met, had sex, he left.”
Enid stared at me. Her gaze swept over me like she was looking deep into my soul. “Mmmhmm. Yeah, I’m not buying it, sweetheart. Not the way you’re all flushed with embarrassment just thinking about that tall drink of water that you left with.”
I shifted on my feet, uncomfortable. She always saw through everyone’s bullshit. And while her tone had an edge of teasing, it hit at the emptiness that had been left behind, that I hadn’t been able to fill.
“Not sure what to tell you,” I snapped. “He was gone before I woke up. So, clearly, whatever you thought you saw, or whatever I thought there was, it wasn’t there.”
Her face fell, which was even worse than the hard stare she had given me when trying to get all the juicy gossip. I wanted to look away with shame at treating her that way. She didn’t deserve my anger. It wasn’t her fault that Nate had left, that I’d gone and hoped for more than I’d been offered.
I’d been stupid. And now I had to live with the consequences of that hope.
“Oh, honey.” Her arms came up around me, enveloping me in a tight hug as she pulled me against her.
I put my head on her shoulder, my arms coming around her waist as I instinctively hugged her back.
She was like the mother hen around the station and that was something I could really use, especially considering relationships weren’t something I was comfortable talking to my actual mother about.
Actually, it wasn’t something I was comfortable talking to most people about.
Maybe Victoria, once in a while.
Sometimes.
But even her, I’d been vague about when it came to Nate. Except to try to casually ask her about him, only to be left with more questions when I discovered that when she asked, her cousin had no idea who he was or what he was doing there.