Chapter 8
NATHAN
Ithought with Duncan out of the way, I’d feel more settled, but I was as restless as ever. And it was all his fault.
Detective Aiden Cooper.
He’d been all I had been able to think about the last week. Even while I was killing Duncan, Aiden had consumed my thoughts. That had never happened before. I thought I had purged my soul of him, but he was there, clinging to me like a scent I couldn’t scrub away.
Unlike my other obsessions, I had to be more careful when I observed him. He was more vigilant and aware of his surroundings. My little bird knew when a predator was near and knew how to defend himself, thanks to his experience on the force.
But I was a monster he didn’t expect to creep out of the shadows of the night. Even if I was the one he craved.
Watching him, I could tell his thoughts were just as consumed with his desire for me as mine were filled with him. Knowing he yearned for me just as badly as I needed him didn’t make it any easier for me. If anything, it made it more difficult.
There were still too many risks I needed to consider.
The scanner had alerted me that morning of the body I’d dumped being discovered.
I wasn’t sure what had taken them so long to discover it, but the fact it took until it arrived in the dump made me question the skills of the police force.
Then again, I’d been killing in the city for quite some time without being caught, so I already knew they were questionable at best.
Not that I would ever question my little bird. I knew he wasn’t a part of Thomas’ case since he’d only just been discovered. That wasn’t on him.
I sat in my car, down the street from his house, and waited for him to come home. While his house was nowhere near as vast as my own, it let me know he had done quite well for himself, despite a spotty past shrouded in mystery.
My mind wandered. Thoughts of Aiden in my house, laid bare before me in every room. I wondered what he would think of home, if he would be comfortable there or if he’d think it was an obnoxious monstrosity.
Christian was the only man I’d ever slept with who had seen my real home, and he’d been unable to hide his scrutiny of the place before his own mask had taken over his face and he pretended he thought it was nice. Though I didn’t know what he thought was wrong with it.
I didn’t understand the human instinct to lie about how they felt about such mundane things. It was one of the reasons I couldn’t bring myself to date. I couldn’t relate to people. There wasn’t that innate need to bond and form attachments and have a family.
Christian had been the closest I’d come to a relationship and that had ended amicably enough, though it was still awkward between us, considering he still tried to push things in a romantic direction.
I should have known not to mix business with pleasure because it left me in the uncomfortable predicament where I might need to kill the person I needed the most in my business.
Because I couldn’t handle people in my life. In my space.
It wasn’t conducive to the serial killer lifestyle.
So, the thought of wanting someone in my home, in my space, was new. But I yearned for him to be there. To greet him after a hard day of work and to take care of him.
Even if he was a cop.
Definitely someone who was not conducive to the serial killer lifestyle.
Aiden had me spinning around like a top and I had no idea where I was going to land. It was dangerous, not just for me, but for my little bird as well. He had no idea the inferno he was playing with and how close he was to being burned.
I sat back in my seat, one hand thrumming against the steering wheel to a beat that only played in my head, and wondered how his day had been today.
Even though I knew this wouldn’t be even close to the first time he’d have gone to a crime scene, there was an ache in my chest that made me need to see him.
Knowing he was coming home from one of my victims, it made all the difference in the world.
Would he know? Could some primal part of his brain sense me there?
However unlikely, a possessive part of me hoped he felt me. The rational part of me, however, not so much.
The small glass figurine in my hands caught the light from the street a few yards down.
It glimmered and shone, though nowhere near as bright as Aiden.
Its delicate glass structure reminded me of him, though there was a strength he also possessed, even if others around him underestimated it, just like the casual observer would with the little glass figure of the bird in my hand.
When I’d tried to find the perfect gift for him and I’d seen the bird that had been in mid-flight, I knew that was just right for him. It was just like him, ready to spread his wings and take off, but he’d always come back to me.
My nerves tingled as I contemplated whether or not I should actually leave it for him to find. I hoped he would appreciate my gift, especially after his first day back to work without his partner. He’d have to know it was from me.
Would it scare him? Thrill him?
The fabric of my tailored suit pants got tight as my cock thickened at the thought of him working himself open and pleasuring himself until he passed out, crying out my name as he came.
Again.
It was a power I never knew I’d be drunk on. But I found myself craving every part of him. I needed him, to possess him, to own him.
My hand reached down and rubbed along my aching cock, head tipping back. I was losing time to leave my present, if I was going to do it. But the need to find some relief was too great. Even if it would have been even better if Aiden were the one bringing it to me.
With a willpower that had to have been granted by the gods themselves, I stilled my hand and relaxed the fist that had clenched around the bird figurine. My heart clenched as I carefully looked it over, but just as I expected, it was more durable than one would expect.
Heaving a heavy sigh, I glanced at the clock and knew I was pushing my luck, so I hurried out of the car and made my way down the street.
I was careful to keep my head down and the collar of my coat up in order to help obscure my face from any nosy neighbors.
In hindsight, despite the fact I had brought my older sedan, I probably should have dressed down after work before I stopped by so I’d fit in better with the neighborhood.
But it was too late, considering I was already there and half a block from his house.
I was surprised by the number of live plants he had on the porch in pots and planter boxes, especially for a single man who worked so much.
The thought of someone stopping by to help him take care of his plants or his house sent a spike of jealousy through me.
No one should be helping him with things except me.
My shoulders sagged. But that wasn’t my job. Not really. At least not until I was able to properly meet him and insert myself into his life. Judging by the state of things, I needed to do that sooner rather than later before someone else got it into their head they could encroach onto my territory.
Looking around the porch, I tried to find the perfect place to leave my gift for him. I didn’t want it to be hidden, yet I didn’t want it to be too obvious either. When I saw the bird feeder on a shelf with a plotted plant, it seemed like the perfect place.
Just as I placed the delicate figure on the ledge, the unmistakable roar of an engine cut through the night air. With a final glance around the porch, I took the steps two at a time as I made my way down and slid back into the car.
Taillights came down the street as I sat there, breathless, sliding down low in my seat, despite the distance between myself and his house. When his car pulled into the drive, it slowed and then slid into the garage.
My heart raced for a few minutes as the house remained dark, before a single light went on from what looked like the back of the house, barely casting a soft glow for me to see from where I watched.
I needed to get closer, but it was too risky.
Every fiber in my being ached to be close to him and the distance between us burned like a flame eating me alive.
I wondered if he felt it. The ache of our separation. But I knew the answer. I saw it in the line of his shoulders as he trudged through the house, slunk through the grocery store, and dragged himself along at work.
A growl tore through my chest, and I wished I could have seen how he looked right after getting back from examining something so intimately that was mine, just like he was. They were both a part of me and my mind screamed to take him, possess him, own him. To claim him.
But I had to play my cards right. Rushing in and claiming him wouldn’t get me anywhere except maybe in a jail cell or a body bag. And that would leave my little bird all alone. Unprotected.
Which was unacceptable.
The front door opened and I perked up, caution thrown to the wind. I pressed forward as he stepped outside. Despite the chill in the air, he didn’t have a jacket on. He seemed lost as he ran his fingers through his hair, looking around the porch.
I clocked it, the moment he found the figurine on the shelf. His body froze before going completely lax. I couldn’t see him pick it up, but I could tell he had it in one hand and a beer bottle in the other as he settled on the porch swing.
He drew his knees up, wrapping his arms around them, and stared at the bird figure. I could imagine the look on his face, but there was something about the tension in his body that had me drawing in a sharp breath.
Something was definitely wrong. That wasn’t my confident little bird who could take on the world without a thought.
I knew the scene he had to have come across with Thomas’ body couldn’t have been pleasant, but what was it that had him looking so weary?
What had caused the tears I could just barely see traces of that streaked down his face?
My fingers itched to run through his hair and soothe him. I wanted to hold him in my arms and tell him it was all right, that I would have him and keep him safe. But that was just a fantasy. One I wouldn’t be able to indulge in.
The shrill sound of my phone cut through the stillness of the night, ripping a snarl from deep within me.
Christian.
Of fucking course.
He was becoming a thorn in my side. If he didn’t watch himself, he’d end up on a list he didn’t want to be on.
I took a deep breath, needing to calm myself before I answered the call.
“What?” So much for calming myself.
There was silence on the other end for a moment and I had to look at the screen to make sure we were actually connected.
“Umm. Boss?”
I’d never heard the other man sound so frazzled, so undone. Not even when I had been splitting him in two with my cock. It instantly put me on alert. “What’s wrong?”
Christian drew in a deep breath. I could hear him trying to steady himself before he answered my question. “There’s a problem over at the North Shore development.”
I slumped back in my seat, my eyes seeking out Aiden again. Another fucking problem I didn’t need.
“What is it this time? A delayed shipment? The wrong tile?” Despite my flippant words, something niggled in my lizard brain. Christian wouldn’t be this unsettled over something so minor and trivial. He’d get it fixed.
No. This had to be serious.
“Um. No, sir. It’s on fire.”