Chapter 14
CHAPTER 14
ICE
B reakfast couldn’t have been more of a disaster if he’d intentionally set out to sabotage it. Thankfully, Silver had taken herself off to the shower as soon as they’d finished, leaving him alone to deal with the cleanup.
And his own self-loathing.
As he wiped down the table, he tried not to think of her, naked beneath the streaming water, rinsing his cum from her gorgeous thighs. Or how much he would enjoy slipping in behind her, cupping her soapy breasts in his hands and?—
The buzzing of her phone jolted him out of his perverted daydream. It was wrong of him, but he couldn’t seem to stop himself from reaching over to grab the phone from where she’d left it on the kitchen table. Just to see who it was from.
Fuck . Ace always did have a knack for timing.
Although he couldn’t read the message itself, just knowing that Ace was texting her was enough to have guilt churning in his stomach, making him wish he hadn’t had that second waffle at breakfast.
Setting the phone aside, he finished wiping down the table while his mind raced, trying to think of what to do next.
Part of the reason he’d taken off on his ‘sabbatical’ had been to get over Silver, sure. But he was man enough to admit it was just as much about avoiding the inevitable confrontation with Ace. His best friend. The man he considered a brother.
The man whose girl he’d been in love with for half his goddamn life.
And now, the man whose girl he’d fucked in front of a room full of people.
Roulette had been bad enough. But at least then he could have honestly said he hadn’t fucked her. That it had just been a scene, nothing more.
Now, he couldn’t say that. He’d lost what little hope he had of convincing Ace not to go completely nuclear when he finally came clean.
And he did need to come clean, sooner rather than later. It was just the right fucking thing to do.
The right thing. Yeah, because he’d obviously been so concerned about ‘the right thing’ when he’d been balls-deep inside Silver not even an hour ago. Disgusted with himself, he tossed the rag into the sink and stalked out to the back deck. The ocean breeze soothed the churning in his stomach somewhat, but it did nothing to quell the burning self-hatred.
It didn’t matter that Ace had been a shit boyfriend and an even shittier Dom. He was still Ice’s best friend, and he deserved the truth. No matter what it cost him.
And he knew deep in his bones, it was going to cost him everything.
“Ice?”
Closing his eyes, he ignored the sound of the woman he loved calling his name. He needed a minute, just a minute to tame the chaotic tumble of emotions in his chest before he said or did something he couldn’t take back.
“Hey.” Her hand came to rest on his back, soft and small and comforting.
Comfort he knew he didn’t deserve.
“You okay?” she asked, her voice unusually quiet.
“Yes.” No . Everything was the exact fucking opposite of ‘okay’.
He felt her tense a moment before her hand slid away and she cleared her throat. When he looked down at her, his heart leapt at the sight of her with the ocean at her back, the breeze tugging at the curls she’d once again piled on top of her head as she stared up at him with those serious eyes.
One dark eyebrow raised in a perfect mimicry of a look he knew he’d given her a hundred times over the course of their friendship. “If I lied to your face like that, you’d wash my mouth out.”
Because she wasn’t wrong, he forced himself to nod instead of brushing her off the way he was tempted to. “You’re right. I’m sorry.”
Worry shimmered in those brown depths as she reached up to cup his cheek. Everything in him ached at that simple touch. It wasn’t fair, to have her so close, to have all his wildest dreams finally within reach—and still a million miles away. “Tell me what’s wrong, Daddy.”
If he’d known how much of a sucker he’d be for hearing her call him Daddy, he never would have allowed it. But a sucker he was, apparently, because he couldn’t resist her. Not when she was looking at him with worry in her eyes and calling him Daddy in that smoky voice he loved so fucking much. “Ace texted you.”
Like a turtle retreating into his shell, she pulled away. Not just physically, but emotionally as well. And he felt the loss as keenly as if he’d cut off his own arm. “Probably wondering if I’ve talked to you yet.”
“You haven’t told them we’re coming home?”
“No. I’ve been… distracted.”
There was something she wasn’t telling him. She was nibbling at her bottom lip, a sure sign she was worried, or nervous.
Or hiding something.
But what right did he have to demand anything from her, nevermind the truth when he’d been keeping so much from her, from everyone? “You should let them know we’re heading home as soon as we can schedule a flight.”
“I should.” Tilting her head back, she smiled up at him, and though it was strained around the edges, it was still full of mischief. “Or we could stay a little longer. Just a few more days, Ice. It’s so peaceful here.”
God, how he wanted that. Wanted whatever time he could get with her. But that was the coward’s way out, and he’d been cowardly enough as it was. “We can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Because we have responsibilities, Silver. We can’t just hole up here and pretend the rest of the world doesn’t exist.”
Temper flashed in her eyes. “Yeah? What about your responsibilities to me?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You promised me you’d tell Ace about Roulette, that you’d make sure he didn’t lose his shit over it. But then you walked away. You promised me it would be okay and then you left me.”
Now it was tears sparking in her eyes, tears that threatened to drown him if his own guilt didn’t do the job first. “You’re right. I broke my promises, and I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, baby.”
Closing her eyes, she inhaled deeply, wiping at her cheeks with her free hand. “It’s fine. I handled it.”
“You told him about Roulette?”
The withering look she gave him when she opened her eyes would have reduced most men to ash on the spot. “Are you joking? Of course I didn’t tell him about fucking Roulette. I just told him that if he needed to talk to me about anything related to the band he could go through Simon, but otherwise not to fucking contact me.”
“How’d he take that?”
“About as well as you’d expect,” she said with a shrug, but the nonchalance of the gesture didn’t match the weariness in her eyes. “He left me alone for a couple of days, and I heard from Crash he was out partying and hooking up with groupies, telling everyone how happy he was to finally be rid of me.” A bark of bitter laughter escaped from her lips. “Less than a week later he was back, begging me to forgive him, to give him another chance.”
Which, in the past, would have worked. But that night at Roulette, Silver had sworn up and down that she was done with Ace, for good. And for the first time in their shared history, Ice had believed her. “You never did tell me what he did to make you so sure you’d never go back.”
“Does it matter?”
“Maybe.” Lifting a hand to her cheek, he brushed away a tear, and forced himself to ask the question he should have asked months ago. “Did he hurt you?”
“Not how you mean. Not physically. But yes. He hurt me, in ways I didn’t even know a person could hurt. And that’s all I really care to say about it for now.”
“Fuck, baby. I’m sorry. I never should have left you to deal with all of that on your own.” And he knew even as he issued the apology, that it would never be enough. That he’d be repenting for that particular sin the rest of his life.
God, what a fucking mess he’d made of things.
“No, you shouldn’t have. But I suppose I should be used to broken promises by now.”
“I deserve that,” he murmured, dipping his head to press a kiss to her forehead. “But it won’t happen again. We’ll go home, I’ll tell Ace about Roulette, about last night, about everything. And I’ll make sure he stops hassling you.”
Relief washed over her face as her eyes fluttered closed. “Thank you. I know I should be strong enough to deal with him on my own, I just?—”
“You’re the strongest woman I know, Amanda Sterling. But it’s okay to let someone else be strong for you every now and then.”
That’s what Daddies do.
Keeping that thought to himself, he pressed his forehead to hers, and for a while they simply stood there, soaking in each other’s strength.
“I should call Simon, see about scheduling our flight,” she said without pulling away.
He’d promised to be strong for her, but he was powerless against the misery in her voice. “Tomorrow’s soon enough. California isn’t going anywhere.”
And when she smiled up at him, gratitude shining from her eyes, he knew no matter how strong he was, she would always be his ultimate weakness.
Silver
She knew, logically, that they were only delaying the inevitable. Eventually, they would have to return to California. And when they did, Ice would finally tell Ace the truth about Roulette night. About his feelings for her. When that happened, Ace would come even more unglued than he normally did during one of their breakups.
And if Ice ever learned the truth of why she had finally, for real called it quits with Ace, he would come unglued.
Either way, their band was ruined, and it was all her fucking fault.
Nice going, Yoko Ono.
Part of her wished she’d stayed in California. Wished she’d tried to work things out with Ace. Or at least put her anger aside enough to be professional with him, despite his betrayal.
But she hadn’t, because she’d been too weak to do it without Ice. It had taken him leaving for her to truly appreciate how much she relied on him. How often she looked to him for guidance and support.
Just like a Daddy.
Except, he wasn’t her Daddy, not for real. And it wasn’t fair to expect him to be that for her when she couldn’t give him what he deserved in return.
Worried, and restless with it, she made her way to the kitchen to pour another cup of coffee.
“Water first,” Ice called from the living room without even looking over his shoulder to see her pouring the damn coffee. They’d spent some time on the deck before moving back inside so he could work on his song some more. That song that made her ache for him and burn for him all at the same time.
“Coffee is just water with extra flavor,” she shot back as she poured her ‘extra- flavored water’ into her mug.
“One glass of regular water before you have another cup of coffee, Amanda.”
A delicious little shiver raced up her spine at the use of her real name. “Or what?”
Now he did look over at her, one eyebrow raised in a way that had her gripping the countertop for support when her knees went weak with need and fear. “Or you will lose coffee privileges until we get home.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” They hadn’t negotiated any kind of dynamic beyond last night. Which meant he technically had no right to punish her. And she might have argued that point if it weren’t for the way her heart raced at the thought of submitting to him.
Or, even better, defying him.
“Yeah? You really want to risk it?”
If it had been any other punishment, she might have tested him. But she wasn’t willing to put her access to caffeine on the line.
Some things were much too precious to be risked.
“I’m going to put that on my hard-limits list,” she grumbled as she sat the coffee aside and pulled a glass from the cabinets.
“Go ahead, baby. I have plenty of other ways to make my point.”
Torn between annoyance at his high-handed ways and the secret glow of being truly cared for, she filled her glass with water and drained it, all under his watchful eye.
“Good girl,” he praised in that low growl. “One more cup of coffee and then you’re done for the day.”
“When did you get to be such a bossy asshole?”
“I’ve always been one. You just weren’t mine to boss.”
She still wasn’t. Just like he wasn’t actually her Daddy. But maybe they could keep pretending, just for a little while. Just until they returned home. “What if I need a pick-me-up? You can’t just deprive a girl of caffeine. It’s inhumane. Actually, I’m pretty sure it’s specifically quoted in the Geneva Conventions.”
“Is that so?” Grinning now, he sat his guitar aside and rose from the couch, his movements reminding her of a sleek jungle cat as he crossed the room to stand in front of her. His arms slid around her waist, pulling her close enough she could feel the hard length of him between them and her pussy clenched greedily at the memory of how he’d filled her. “I hate to tell you this, baby, but Daddies aren’t bound by such rules. And if you need a jolt of energy, I have plenty of ways to get your adrenaline pumping.”
“Oh yeah? Prove it.”
In a flash, she was up over his shoulder, shrieking with terrified delight as he hauled her to the bedroom. Where he proceeded to show her exactly how good he was at getting her adrenaline going.