55. Silas
CHAPTER FIFTY FIVE
T he screens cut to black. Just like that—one second I was staring at grainy security footage. The next, nothing.
I snapped my eyes up right as Finn leaned ove r my desk and smacked me, hard, right across the back of the head.
“Gesù Cristo!” I shot up from my chair. “What the fuck is wrong with you?”
He didn’t flinch. Didn’t even react. Just stood there, arms crossed, watching me.
“You,” he said flatly. “You’re my problem.”
I started forward, rounding the desk. “Seriously?” I growled, shoving his shoulder as I closed in on him. “You’re gonna waltz in here and start throwing hands?”
He let out a lazy breath. “Nah, I’m just waiting to see if you’ll snap.”
I clenched my fists, nails biting into my palms. “You’ve got three seconds to explain yourself before I throw your ass out that window.”
“Yeah? Go for it.” He gestured lazily to the glass behind him. “But first, let’s start with you explaining what, exactly, you think you’re doing.”
“I’m working.”
“Nope,” he said simply. “You’re spiralling.”
His gaze flicked to the now-dead monitors, like he could still see everything I’d been obsessing over. All the maps, the blurry footage, the endless scrolling through last known movements, everything I’d spent the last God knows how long drowning in.
“Finn—”
“You haven’t eaten,” he cut in. “You haven’t slept. You’ve barely been home. Tell me. What’s Lilith up to today, buddy?”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means,” he snapped, cocking his head at me, “that you don’t have a clue, do you?”
“I know what she’s doing.”
“Oh yeah?” Finn shot back. “What did she have for lunch today? ”
I froze.
“Got an answer for me there, Graves?”
I clenched my teeth. Nothing. I had nothing.
“Nope. Didn’t think so. She had grilled cheese and tomato soup. The day before that, she had a burger. The day before that, she had leftover pasta. The day before that, she had sushi. Should I keep going?”
“And how do you know that?”
“Because I had lunch with her,” his eyes narrowed. “At your place. Every day for the past two weeks actually.”
My pulse hit hard behind my eyes. “Why the fuck would you do that?”
“Because she’s lonely, dude! She’s sitting in that penthouse, by herself, because you’re so caught up playing vigilante, you’ve forgotten she exists.”
I shook my head. “I haven’t forgotten.”
He scoffed. “You’re not there, Silas. Whether you meant to or not, you’ve left her alone.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I do. You think she wants this? You think she’s happy sitting there, defending you like it’s her fault you’re never around?”
I flinched.
“But hey, keep telling yourself you’re doing this for her. Keep telling yourself you’re protecting her by driving yourself into the ground. She doesn’t want this. She doesn’t need this. She’s been through too much.”
I had to bite back the surge of anger boiling in my chest. “And how do you know what she wants? Or needs?”
“Because she told me,” he snapped. “I speak to her more than you do. And you know what else? She’s tried talking to you.
But apparently…” He paused, tapping his chin like he was trying to remember something.
“Hmm… what did she say again?” His eyes sharpened.
“Oh, yeah. ‘ It’s always can we talk later? But you’re never there later. ’”
His words scraped down my spine like sandpaper.
“You’re full of shit.”
“Am I?” He arched a brow. “When was the last time you actually sat with her? Huh? When’s the last time you were there when she needed you?”
I moved closer. “Shut the fuck up.”
“No. I’m saying all of this because I care.
Because you’re my brother,” his throat bobbed like the words were fighting to crawl out.
“But Lilith? She reminds me of my sister, man. And I’m not gonna sit here and watch you ruin this while she’s bending over backwards trying to hold on to something that’s barely there. ”
My chest tightened like someone had threaded a wire around my ribs and yanked. “You don’t get to compare her to—”
“Yes, I do! ” Finn’s voice cracked, sharp and furious. “Because my sister? My sister was a good woman too. And women like them? They don’t come around that often. And you do not get to drag them down.”
“Mia and Lilith aren’t the same.” My voice barely scraped past my teeth.
“Crazy how you don’t see that either, huh?” His eyes burned into me. “Dude, I love you, I do. But if you don’t pull your head out of your ass…” He hesitated, like he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say it. “I’ll tell her to leave you.”
I blinked. Disbelief rattling inside me. “What?”
“Yep,” he shrugged, like the words hadn’t just detonated in my skull. “I’ll sit her down and tell her to get out now. To leave before you drag her down with you. Hell, I’ll even get Red and the lizard involved.”
My stomach knotted, nausea rolling through me. “Non oseresti.”
“Vaffanculo. I would. Because you’re not the only one who gives a shit about her. But you’re the only one blind enough not to see what you’re doing.”
“Get the fuck out.”
“Nope.” He folded his arms across his chest.
“I said out.”
“Nah, I’m good.” He gave me a shit-eating grin that had fire bubbling through my veins, boiling my blood.
I stepped forward. “I mean it, Finn.”
He tapped his fingers against his jaw. “You wanna swing, don’t you?”
“I’m not gonna hit you.”
“Why not, big boy? Because you know I’ll hit back? Because you’re scared you’ll lose?”
My hand shot out, grabbing his collar, fist twisting in the fabric, knuckles digging into his chest. The seams strained, threads pulling tight. But he didn’t flinch. Didn’t even blink.
“Do it,” he taunted.
“I know what you’re doing,” I growled.
Finn snorted. “No idea what you’re on about.”
“Yeah,” I said, voice cold and low. “Yeah, you do.”
I knew exactly what this was. He wanted me to break. Wanted me to stop holding it in and just let go. He knew I was drowning, and he was giving me an easy target. Something I could hit. Something I could hurt.
He shook his head, all smug and lazy.
“Nah. All I’m doing is standing here, man. Minding my own business.” He spread his arms wide like he was innocent. Like he wasn’t deliberately poking the bear.
I wasn’t taki ng it out on him. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. I let go of his shirt with a huff. He staggered slightly, but caught himself, straightening with that same irritating confidence.
He rolled his shoulders, adjusting his collar. “Sort your shit out,” he muttered. “Or I’ll do it for you. That’s a promise.”
The door slammed shut behind him.
I scrubbed a hand over my jaw.
He was right. She was lonely. In that place— our place—waiting for me to come home. And I wasn’t there.
My gaze flicked to my phone, lying face up on the desk. No texts from her today.
My ribs tightened around my lungs.
It was later than it should’ve been, but still earlier than usual. Not that it mattered. I should’ve been home hours ago. Hell, I should’ve been home days ago. Weeks.
I needed to go to her. Now.
Moonlight spilled across her, painting her skin silver, catching the loose strands of dark hair that’d slipped across her face. A book lay abandoned on the pillow beside her, face down, pages fanned out like wings.
I stood in the doorway for longer than I should have, just watching her.
La mia adorata ragazza.
The ache in my chest flared. That same gnawing feeling that had been eating at me for weeks. I needed to get to my office. Needed to get this shit done. The longer I left it, the more restless I felt, like I was holding my breath. But she needed me.
I undressed myself and sank onto the mattress, slow and careful. The warmth of her skin radiated through the blankets, tugging me closer. I reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from her face and she mumbled something soft, barely a whisper.
“Shhh,” I murmured. “It’s okay. I’m here.”
I shifted closer, reaching for her, but she rolled away, tucking herself tighter into the sheets.
“Hey, sweetheart,” I said quietly, dipping my head closer, lips brushing her shoulder.
She flinched and curled into herself, her back hunching, her knees drawn up beneath the blankets.
I swallowed hard. “Hey,” I said again, softer this time. “Come here.”
“I’m tired,” she mumbled, her voice muffled.
I tried again, sliding my fingers along her arm, but she shook me off.
My chest tighte ned. “Okay,” I whispered, pulling my hand away. “Okay.”
I propped myself up on one elbow, watching her back. Her shoulders were stiff, breath too shallow to be asleep. But I let it stretch for a few minutes.
“Lilith,” I said quietly. “Please.”
“Silas. I want to sleep.”
“You’re not sleeping though,” I said. “You’re just lying there.”
Nothing.
I scraped a hand down my face. “I know I’ve been…” I trailed off. The words stuck, sour in my throat. “I’ve just… I didn’t mean to—”
“You’re never here.”
“I know,” my throat ached on the admission. “But I’m here now.”
“Yeah? For how long?” she sighed.
“I’m gonna start working from home,” I said quickly, the words tumbling out before I could second guess them. “I’ll still have to go in for some meetings. But I’ll stay here as much as I can during the day. So we can be together.”
“It’s not that,” she said. “Hell, I’ve got a job too. If I could, I’d be working during the day, same as you. It’s the nights, Silas.”
“I know,” I said quietly. “I know… and I’m sorry. But I’ll fix it. I’ll be here. For you. With you.”
“Are you serious?” Her voice was quiet, uncertain. Like she didn’t know whether to believe me or call bullshit.
“Yeah, sweetheart,” I said with a nod that she couldn’t see. “I mean it.”
I reached out, slow and careful, slipping my arm around her waist. My hand found hers beneath the blanket, and I laced them together.
“You promise?” she whispered.
I nodded, even though she couldn’t see it. “Lo prometto, mia bella ragazza.”