18. Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Eighteen
Ronan
L eah goes preternaturally still, her gaze locked on me. Sweet rose turns sour in a heartbeat. My gut twists as I grind to a halt. Her knuckles turn white where she’s clutching the pink fabric before it falls to the floor, panic burning in her stare.
A deep purr swells up before I even think to stop it. I ache to reassure her, to smother every shard of fear she’s been forced to endure. Fury boils beneath my skin. I want to gather her up and tell the world to fuck off for damaging my gorgeous mate.
Gabriel’s shock and Jax’s horror knife through our pack bond. Her reaction is so wrong. I need to undo this, right now. I drop to my knees in front of her, careful to keep my movements slow and unthreatening.
I gather the fallen garment and place it back in her hands. "I’m sorry, Kitten. I should’ve asked if you liked them before I set them down. They’re yours if you want them."
Her pupils are dilated and she’s not moving a muscle. I’ve seen this kind of freeze in extractions before, the mind laying traps when trauma takes over. I keep my weight grounded and steady. Lower my voice and go slow. I broadcast my movements, letting her see my hands open and empty. No fists.
"No one here punishes you for wanting soft things. You didn’t do anything wrong.
You did exactly what an Omega is meant to do.
" Whatever she’s thinking, I have to lay it over with new, reinforced memories.
I have to rewire her mind, repeatedly, until her first reactions aren’t to freeze or fight or run.
They’re to smile and enjoy and take as her Godsdamned right.
I’ll be her steady anchor, one gentle action at a time.
She blinks and her gaze sharpens and locks straight on to me. Her chin tips up and she grits out, "I didn’t ask you to get me anything."
The bite in her voice is a shield. She’s testing me. Seeing if my words and actions are false. If she thinks she’s right, I’ve lost her. We all have, and that’s not something that will ever happen.
She can try to push all she wants. If she wants me to prove my strength, my patience, my sincerity, I’ll do it. I’m her Alpha. I’ll take every test she throws at me.
"I want to get you these things. You deserve them and more. Hells, you deserve the world, and we’re going to do our best to give it to you. You’ll never have to ask for anything, because it’s freely given."
I keep my gaze fixed on her, steady and unyielding, being nothing but the calm wall she can rely on. She has to know she’s safe, no matter what she feels—anger, happiness, arousal. I’ll take it all.
I’m a greedy bastard like that .
Leah’s mouth tightens and her eyes flash. "What if I don’t want anything from you?"
"You’d still look pretty damn cute in pink, you know." Gabriel’s smile is easy as he leans against the wall, looking like Leah’s reaction isn’t affecting him.
I catch the edge of his ploy and want to roll my eyes. He’s slipping past her defenses, and it works, catching her off guard. She crumples, the anger she used as a crutch to survive falling away, no longer required.
"How about a warm bath while Gabriel throws together breakfast?" I suggest. "You can put on the sweats after if you want. Or just wear the robe for the rest of the day if you’re more comfortable that way."
Her thumb absently moves over the fluff at the collar, testing the texture like she’s still not quite sure it’s real. She likes it. Just like I knew she would. Everything at LuxeNest Essentials is made for an Omega’s sensory needs.
I hadn’t expected her to be awake and lucid again.
The underlying scent of her heat is still wrong, that chemical taint we noticed before.
Alternating between her heat and lucidity is only prolonging the strain on her body.
She’s running on empty, her system stretched thin, and she’s been through enough.
When she next goes into heat, real heat, I want her body strong enough to handle it properly.
I want her demanding our attention for days to ease her through it, as is her right.
Jax slowly stands. "That’s a good idea. It will be nice and relaxing for you."
Leah stiffens, braced for a fight, not ready to accept our suggestion. But she can’t hide the longing in her perfume, or the way she glances in the direction of the bathroom as her fingers tighten on the sweatsuit like it’s a lifeline.
Jax holds out his hand, "Come on. I’ll help you."
Leah pushes to stand. She shakes and I tense to catch her if she falls. She’s even weaker than I thought. I can’t ignore my churning gut about potential health issues. We’re safe here, but not if she’s so sick we can’t provide the right medical treatment for her.
"I can run my own bath." She gathers the sweats to her chest and strides as best she can to the bathroom .
She doesn’t look back at us, but the flush in her cheeks and the way she clutches her prize tell me everything I need to know. She’s unsettled, a little roughed up by hope, but she wants this. She’s taking the softness with her. That’s a win.
As soon as the bathroom door shuts with the sass I love, Gabriel rakes both hands through his hair, shoulders bunching up.
The emotions he’d suppressed punch through the air.
He shoots me a look, eyes dark with worry, and swears under his breath.
"Did you see how she nearly went down when she stood up? "
I rise, putting my hand on my hips, facing them both. "Yeah. I saw. The way her heat comes and goes like that isn’t right. She’s running on fumes." My gut twists, a sick edge to it.
I’m used to rescue, to charging in when things are bad, but watching her body fail her leaves me blind. There’s no field manual for this.
Jax stares at the closed bathroom door. "She’s not eating enough.
There’s not enough of her to fight through this.
" He shoots me a loaded look, and I know he’s thinking the same as me.
"If she gets any worse, we have to get her to Pinnacle and Mira’s Omega Healing Centre.
I will not chance her health, despite Hardwick’s threat.
They have the best Omega care in the region. "
The others nod, the weight of that truth settling between us. She’d be at Pinnacle already if we’d been able to get our hands on Hardwick. It only makes me more determined to find the missing senator fast.
Jax turns to me. "Anything from your recon?"
I exhale. "It was a bust. We can cross that site off the list. Nothing is hiding there except vagrants."
There’d be no homeless in situ if Hardwick was using it. She’d clear out any threats. I’d broken into the crumbling building only to find decayed office furniture, a nest of rats and a group of desperate homeless I’d sent to the closest shelter for a hot meal, and a shower should they want it.
Gabriel nods, still chewing on the news, his eyes flicking between the maps on the coffee table.
"That’s something at least. I’m going to cook up a storm for breakfast. Anything our Omega can get into her is a win.
Then I’ll scout out the next location. The sooner we find Hardwick, the sooner we can get our Omega proper medical attention. This shitshow needs to end."
I can just imagine Pack Blackwood and Pack Mitchell climbing the walls, frantic for any sign of Leah for the sakes of their Omegas.
Mira and Emma will be sick with worry until they know for certain that Leah’s safe.
Part of me aches to call them, but the truth is, it’s too risky.
Any contact could tip Hardwick off or put everyone in even more danger.
Especially since we don’t know what ghosts she may have in the field.
Gabe is right: we must move, and fast. Not just to keep the Blackwoods and Mitchells from burning down the city in a panic, but because Leah needs real help. Every moment her heat flickers in and out is eating away at her. We can’t afford a single misstep, the way her body’s wearing thin.
The priority is clear. We hunt Hardwick down, one lead at a time, until the job is done. Until then, all we can do is take care of our Omega here, keep her fed, keep her safe, and pray her system holds until this heat breaks for good.
And once we’re through this we’ll bring her home. Our real home, where she can nest when and where she wants all day long. A place where loving every scared, stubborn, wounded inch of her won’t just be natural. It’ll be everything.
We’re on edge, all of us, every sense stretched thin and tuned straight to the sound of water in the bathroom.
Each shift, each small splash sends a jolt through the room.
Then comes a sigh from behind the door and heat slams low in my gut making my cock thicken.
I bite back a groan and glance at the others.
Gabriel breaks the tension, eyes wide with mock misery as he cups the bulge between his thighs. "You boys realize I’ll be sporting this for the next decade, right? I guess recon just got a whole lot harder ." He waggles his brows, smiling at us both to see if we get his juvenile joke.
I shake my head, even as the corners of my mouth want to twitch up. Jax snorts, but he doesn’t take his eyes off the hallway.
Breakfast soon covers the counter. There are stacks of pancakes, bacon and sausages, scrambled eggs, cut fruit and bread and syrup warming in a dish. We’ve cooked a feast, nerves making sure her choices are endless .
When Leah finally steps out, she’s wrapped in a cloud of steam and the pink LuxeNest sweats. The hoodie swallows her frame, plush and shockingly soft, sleeves pulled down over her hands. Her sweet, scent curls around all of us and I eagerly drag it into my lungs.
Jax groans under his breath, low and so raw I nearly growl in answer.
I can’t take my eyes off her as she stands self-conscious as all hell.
Gabriel flashes her one of his Sunshine smiles and she exhales, her shoulders dropping half an inch.
He nudges her toward the table with a gentle teasing, "Come on, Sunshine, you don’t want cold pancakes, trust me.
" She lets herself be guided, wary but not running.
The mountain of food stops her in her tracks.
She wavers, her gaze darting from dish to dish, but Gabe keeps talking, stopping her mind from snapping to another trauma.
He keeps up a running commentary on how we cheat at pancake-eating contests and how he once flipped a stack so high it nearly hit the ceiling.
He seats her at the counter and sets a plate in front of her, so full the pancakes threaten to topple, before pouring a thick ribbon of golden syrup over the stack.
I hold my breath as she finally lifts her fork, syrup trailing down the edge, and lifts the first bite to her lips. My cock jerks when her eyes flutter closed and I catch that shudder of pleasure rolling through her. I leak a little right there at the table at the sound she makes.
She chews and I feel like high-fiving Gabe when she blinks hard, eyes shining. She holds shaking fingers to her lips. "They taste just like the pancakes my mom used to make."
She guts me.
All I want is to pull her close, hold her and make sure the world can’t hurt her anymore.
She freezes, fork clattering to her plate and her gaze bounces straight to me. "Oh."
Her shoulders round and she pulls in on herself.
She’s sinking back down again and how much trauma did those assholes give her ?
I don’t understand what set her off, but trauma has no reason to shoot out of nowhere.
I rein in the flash of rage, not at her but on her behalf.
I need to catch her before she crashes again .
I lift her and pull her into my lap before she can spiral. My arms fold around her, anchoring her against my chest. The vibrations start deep in my chest, a steady purr rolling out, rumbling through both our bodies.
I catch her chin in my grip before she can shrink away. "What did you think just then? Don’t hide. Tell us what wrong thing you think you said."
I force her to hold my gaze as she twists her hands in the hem of the sweatshirt, the suffering lingering in her eyes slicing through me. I make myself bear the weight of her anguish because I can, and she’s already carried more than enough.
"Tell me, Omega. What did you say that was so wrong?"
Her voice is thin and battered when she finally speaks. "It’s against the rules to talk of home."
"And why is it against the rules?" I ask, dreading to hear the fucked-up answer they’ve made her believe. Fuck them and their fucking rules. I’ll give them rules to live by at the end of my fists when I catch up to them. Then I’ll destroy them, and their rules can die with them.
I keep my gaze locked on hers, not letting up even though it kills me to put her through this.
My purr deepens, holding her steady. Giving her strength.
She wavers, but her words come out stiff and unnatural.
"Because we’re a vessel for our Alphas'. Our purpose is only for them. We have no home. No past. The only thing we’re good for is presenting our holes, using our bodies however our Alphas want.
There’s nothing else to offer. We. Are . Nothing."