Chapter 6 #2
I’m near the door when he grabs my hand, holding it tight. That finally knocks me out of my panic. His touch is warm. Familiar, even though I haven’t had it in years. It sends a jolt up my arm. It makes all my problems fall away. Just one hand—his hand—levels me like nothing else can.
I’ve missed this. My God , I’ve missed this.
“I want to spend time with you.” He says it slowly. “I don’t care that this is a honeymoon room. I don’t care if this is weird. And I don’t care if this is awkward for a little bit. After everything that’s happened, I don’t want you to be alone. And I also know you want this cruise to be used.”
“But you have to hate this. There’s no personal space here.”
He sighs. “It’s not ideal, I’ll admit that. But we can make it work. At least try to. Don’t just leave.” Nate hates it when people leave.
I sigh and close my eyes. “If I stay, I have one condition.”
“Is it a blindfold for the bathroom thing? I think I brought a tie we could use.”
My eyes pop open. “Why would you bring a tie on vacation?”
“You never know what you might need it for.”
I open my mouth to ask, but I get a mental image I don’t need. Shaking my head, I force myself to refocus. “I want to take turns on the couch.”
“What? But?—”
“I know you won’t agree to let me have it the entire time?—”
“You’re damn right about that.”
“But you’re way taller than me and it’s going to be uncomfortable. I want it half the time.”
“That’s a lot to ask.”
“You want me to stay, don’t you?”
“Fine,” he grinds out. “I’ll think about letting you have the couch half the time.”
“That’s not what I asked for.”
“It’s as good as you’re gonna get.”
Honestly, I’m surprised he’s even agreed to this. I have my ways of making sure that he lets me take my turn, so I nod.
He lets go of my hand, and I try my best not to wish I was holding it again.
I fail.
“Now you need to leave,” I say.
“Wait, what? I thought we worked it out.”
“I still have to pee. So get out.”
Nate sighs and glares at the door. “Can’t I just use the tie?”
“I don’t want you to hear the tinkle.”
He’s laughing. “The tinkle ?”
“Yes! Some things can’t be heard, and this is one of them.”
“I don’t care about the tinkle.”
“Out!” I point to the door. He gives one more laugh before he exits into the hallway.
“Fine. But we’re going to the lounge for a drink after this!”
Now that I can agree to. After seeing how we’ll be living, I need a drink.
I do my business and then leave the room to join Nate. “What if I heard the tinkle anyway?”
My eyes go wide. “You didn’t. ”
He laughs. “I didn’t. Your face was hilarious, though.”
I roll my eyes. The door to the room next to us opens and a man walks out, followed closely by someone else.
For a horrific second, I see short brown hair and a wide grin and think it’s Rob. I freeze in my tracks, but then a second look reveals it’s just a stranger.
Nate sees the whole thing play out.
“Oh, hi.” The guy looks at the two of us. “You must be our neighbors.”
“That we are,” Nate says as I slow my heart rate. “I’m Nate. She’s Maisie.”
“I’m Aaron, and this is my wife Trixie.” He gestures to the woman next to him. “Are you heading out for a drink?”
“We are,” Nate says.
“Can we join you? This is all a bit new to us and I’d love to have a smaller group at first.”
Nate glances at me, silently asking if I’m okay with this. I’m tempted to say no, but with how things are feeling between us, talking to others isn’t a bad idea.
“Sounds fun,” Nate says. “Wanna go to the one on Deck Five? That one looked pretty cool.”
Aaron nods excitedly, and suddenly, we have plans.
I try to be excited about it too.
“And then, he gets down on one knee and proposes.” Trixie’s jaw drops even as she retells her own engagement story. “It was so sweet.”
I take a long sip from the drink in my hand. I must be in my own personal hell because there’s no way Trixie sat and immediately started talking about her engagement just after mine fell apart. I know deep down it’s not her fault. She has no idea who I am or anything about me.
This is just terrible luck.
If Nate were sitting next to me, he would aim to change the topic instantly. But somehow, he’s sitting with Aaron way too far from me, lost in his own conversation. I’m not sure how we got separated, but I’m miserable.
“That sounds amazing,” I say, and I do mean it. Trixie’s engagement sounded romantic. I bet it was better than my own.
“Then we had the wedding, and here we are.” She says it like a wedding is something simple to plan. Like it doesn’t take over a woman’s life and completely derail everything.
Or maybe it’s not supposed to and I just got the short end of the stick. “Congratulations. It sounds like it’s gonna be an amazing honeymoon.”
“I’m gonna make it amazing, if you know what I mean.” She laughs and I force myself to join her. “Now tell me about you. I know your name is Maisie, but you’ve not talked about yourself once.”
“Me?” I have to take another sip. “There isn’t much to talk about. I’m just here ... enjoying the views.”
“I’m sure you are.” She winks, her eyes moving toward Nate.
I frown, fighting the urge to tell her to keep her eyes to herself. But I’m not sure why. She’s obviously married and I know people look at Nate with interest all the time.
How could they not?
My phone buzzes in my pocket and I check it quickly during the lull in conversation. My eyes bug out when I see the last person I expect.
Rob
Are you home? I think we need to talk.
Rob hasn’t reached out to me since I called off the engagement. I did wind up mailing that engagement ring back to him. They better not have lost it in the mail.
Maisie
What can we possibly have to talk about?
Rob
I miss you.
Those words should make me feel something, but all that comes is bitterness. Sure, he misses me now. But that doesn’t undo what he let his friends call me. That doesn’t undo how he talks about me behind my back.
That doesn’t undo him wanting me away from Nate.
“Oh, who’s that? Is there some drama in paradise?”
At Trixie’s words, I press my phone against my chest. “What?”
“Sorry, I’m already a little tipsy and I can be nosy. I really didn’t mean to pry. I just saw that it was a guy’s name on your phone.”
“It’s nothing.”
Trixie’s lips poke out and she looks between Nate and me. “Are you sure?”
I lean away, jaw going tight. I need to get out of here. The last person I want to talk about is Rob when her husband looks just like him.
Just as the thought crosses my mind, I look up and see Nate walking toward me. “Mind if I steal Maisie?” he asks. “She has a short social fuse, and I think she’s at her limit.”
“Oh, of course. Very chivalrous, by the way.” She winks one more time before going back to her own husband.
I want to scream.
Nate waves to them both before we head back to the room. He finally speaks to me when we’re alone in the elevator.
“So, was I right? You looked a little done with that conversation.”
“You’re very right. She was nice, but she talked about her proposal the whole time.”
He nods, and I know he understands that proposals and weddings in general are the last thing I want to talk about .
“You know, I bet no one’s at the running track right now. Need to clear your head?”
“You’re wanting to go running?”
“Want is a strong word. But you enjoy it. And I brought my shoes.” He looks at me with a casual smile. It makes my heart flip. “So, wanna race?”
My legs are on fire and I can’t seem to catch a breath. My runs are never fun, but this is a new level.
“You are . . . a fucking . . . cheater.”
Nate laughs, even though he fell onto the ground the second we passed our final lap. “I have longer legs than you, berry.”
“Don’t use my nickname at a time like this.”
“Your face looks like one of those strawberries. I can’t help it.” I want to throw something at him. The only thing is my hair band. “Hey! Hey! Foul!”
“You’re lucky I didn’t body slam you.”
“You couldn’t even if you tried. You’re too tired.”
“Fuck you.” I shake my hair out and it blows in the breeze. The running trail is high up with an incredible view. The sun has long since set and the ship lights are the only thing I can see.
It’s almost eerie.
When I look back down, Nate is looking at me.
“Still red as a strawberry?” I ask.
“Yep.”
I roll my eyes, but hold out a hand to help him up.
“I got it,” he says and slowly gets onto his feet. I stare at my hand with a frown. I was hoping that hand touching was on the table ever since he grabbed mine in the room, but that must’ve been a one-time thing. A fluke. “We should get back to the room and figure out sleeping. ”
That pulls me out of my thoughts. “I’ll take the?—”
“I won the race. I get the couch.”
“You won, so you should get a reward.” He’s already walking toward the elevator. I let out a breath before I push my tired legs to follow. “Seriously?—”
“Maisie, it’s fine. I know what I want.” My bottom lip protrudes a little. “Don’t you dare pout.”
An idea crosses my mind. “Why not? Is it working?”
“No.” He says it too quickly.
I lean in, adding in the fluttering of my lashes. “ Please can I take the couch? Pretty please?”
Nate leans away, but I can see conflict on his face. “Come on. That’s cruel.”
“I just wanna be punished for losing.” My voice is high-pitched and his eyes are wide. I know how it sounds, but he never thinks that way of me anyway.
And I don’t want him suffering on the damn couch.
“Uh ...” He’s still breathing heavily from our run. He must be in terrible shape. “I ...”
The moment is broken when my phone goes off loudly. I realize that I’m way too far in his space and I back away.
What had I been thinking?
“Sorry, I’ll go back to begging in just a moment,” I say as I pull out the phone.
“Don’t worry about that. I got your message.” His voice is low and I don’t even know if he meant for me to hear it. I want to ask, but I’m too shocked to see Rob’s name on my screen again to say anything.
Rob
I shouldn’t have said that about you and Nate.
I blink, my jaw tightening at the words. He’d sworn he had a point, going so far as to let the wedding fall through.
Now he has regrets ?
“Why is Rob texting you?” Nate sounds annoyed.
“No idea, but I’m not answering.”
“He’s apologizing, isn’t he?”
“He’s . . . trying.”
Nate shakes his head. “He always does this. He waits until he knows you’re serious and apologizes.”
I want to argue, but I quickly realize I can’t. Rob and I fought often enough that it’s obvious how Nate picked up on a pattern, even if I didn’t tell him about every single one we had. I didn’t push back on much, but when I did, Rob always dug his heels in.
Until he didn’t.
“He let me cancel the wedding.”
Nate blows out a breath. I wonder if he’s about to drop a bomb on me, but he only shrugs. “Who knows what the hell is going through his head.”
“You have thoughts.”
“I don’t want to get involved in that,” he says with a shake of his head. “It’s your relationship.”
Nate’s always been like this. He stays out of everything to do with Rob and me. When I got with him, Nate made sure Rob was a decent guy and then stayed out of it.
The only time he didn’t was when he went to the bachelor party.
“What if I want you to get involved?” I ask.
“Why would you want that?”
“Obviously your gut instincts are good with this. Mine are iffy at best.”
“Your instincts are fine.”
“I’m the one who had no idea how he felt, or that his friends were secretly assholes. I don’t trust myself at all right now, to be honest.”
Nate shakes his head. “None of that is your fault.”
“I know. I’ve listened when you told me, and I’ll continue to listen now. Is there something that I don’t know? ”
He lets out a long breath. “I’m sure it’s nothing, but in the beginning, he came on a little strong. Almost like he was love bombing you. I wasn’t sure if I was being overprotective or if that’s actually what it was.”
I think back to when Rob and I first got together. Nate isn’t wrong. Rob did come on strong. He showered me with gifts and attention. And I thought I was living a fairy tale.
“I can see that.”
“He also comes on very strong when he knows he’s in the wrong. If he’s trying to apologize, I don’t expect him to give up.”
“Shouldn’t that be what I want? For him not to give up?”
I see Nate’s jaw go tight for all of one second before he forces it to relax. “If you want to get back together with him, then yes. Is that what you want?”
Any other time, the answer would be yes. I’m the kind of person who understands that people make mistakes. But he said it wasn’t a mistake. It was genuinely how he felt. He didn’t want Nate and me to see each other.
“I don’t.”
His eyes go wide. “You seem so sure about that.”
“I am sure about it. I can forgive a lot, but not this time.”
“You know he’ll try to take it back. He’s gonna say that he didn’t mean that he ever hated you.”
Nate doesn’t know that Rob gave me an ultimatum. I’m not sure I want him to know.
The elevator tells us we’re on our floor, but neither of us make a move to leave.
“Nate, can I ask you something?”
“Always.”
“Have you ever hated me?”
“No.” He says it the second I’ve finished my sentence. “And I never will.”
Then I should be marrying you.
The thought pops up unbidden and I nearly smack myself; I don’t mean Nate . I mean someone that feels the way Nate does. And touches me. I wouldn’t mind that either.
“And that’s the kind of man I should be with. A guy who would never hate me. Seems easy in theory, but hard to find in practice.”
“Yeah, hard to find.” His voice is quieter than usual.
Before I can ask what he means, he turns to walk toward our room. “I’m still taking the couch.”
All other thoughts fly out of my mind. “Hey! You said you would think about it!”
“I did. And I still say no.”