Chapter 26
chapter twenty-six
I can’t sit still as we get our late dinner. All I want to do is go back to our room and have my way with Nate, but nothing on the room service menu sounded good to either of us.
Nate’s hand lands on my bouncing leg. “Calm down. Aren’t you supposed to be relaxed after what happened earlier?”
“I just wanna be in a place where you can wear less clothes.”
“What have I done?” he asks with a laugh. “You’ll never leave me alone. We’re getting tacos, berry. Your favorite.”
They are my favorite, which is the only reason I keep my mouth shut.
I might want to be lost in pleasure, but I enjoy this too. We’re more open than we ever have been. If I thought that Nate was free with touches before, it’s nothing compared to now.
We’re sitting on the same side of the booth, our arms pressed together like we’re planning a prank we want no one to hear. Every now and again, he’ll kiss me and my heart skips a beat.
There can’t be anything better than this.
But then I see someone running toward our table, and both of us tense .
“No freaking way!” It’s Trixie, and she looks like a child who’s found a candy store. “You’re together! I knew it!”
“Shit,” I mutter. If there’s anyone I want to run into, it’s Scarlett. I haven’t spent a lot of time with Trixie and Aaron, and I still feel defensive about the way they insisted we should be together.
They were right , but still.
Nate inches away from me. “Hey. How is Aaron feeling?”
“Not as good as you two, I’d guess.” She winks.
“Babe,” Aaron calls. “Can we go to our table?”
“But I’m catching up with our friends! They’re together now!”
I tense and Nate does too. Neither of us have talked about what we are. We agreed we wouldn’t let any of this come between us, but I’m not sure what he wants. Sure, he’s dated before, but is he ready for commitment?
Fuck, commitment is all I’m used to. I’d love to have it with him.
We’ll need to figure it out without Trixie announcing it.
“Um, we’re not.” I say it to her gently. “We’re just ... close.”
She turns back to us with a frown. “Really? But I saw you kiss.”
“Like I said, we’re close.”
Her bottom lip pokes out as she considers us, but Aaron walks over. “If they’re insisting on being blind to their feelings, let them. I’m hungry, babe.”
Aaron drags Trixie away and I cross my arms. “I’m not being blind,” I mumble.
Nate is watching me, lips pressed together. “Right. So ... ‘close’ is the word?”
“It’s what worked.” I shrug.
He slowly nods. “Right. Close it is, then.”
“We can?—”
“So, steak or chicken tacos tonight?”
Nate obviously isn’t worried about defining anything, and I’m not sure how fast he wants to go. I look at the menu and tell him I want steak tacos before pushing it out of my mind.
A few inches have appeared between us, and we never quite get as close as we were before.
That fact bothers me more than I want to admit.
We’ve just returned from dinner when my phone rings. I’m determined to get the mood back, but when I see who it is, I know I’ll be taking this call.
“Is it your parents?” Nate asks.
“No, it’s Quinn. I’ll go on the balcony and take this.”
Once I’m out in the fresh air, I hit accept.
“Hey,” I say.
“Maisie! Hey, how’s the cruise?” She sounds out of breath, and I can imagine her surrounded by party decorations, slowly losing herself to the madness that is planning a party with Andrea.
I’m thrilled it’s not me.
“It’s ... good,” I say. “I think I just got used to being on vacation. Too bad we’re back in Florida tomorrow.”
“That sounds about right. The best part is the end.” She laughs. “Has anything fun happened?”
It’s tempting to tell her about Nate, but she’s one of the people that never questioned that he and I were just friends. Probably because I was dating her brother.
It’s going to be a massive shock to everyone.
I don’t want people involved in this until I know what we are.
I should’ve said it better at dinner. Close isn’t good enough of a word for the two of us.
“I fell off a dock.” That feels like it was a year ago, even though it was only a few days.
Quinn gasps. “What? How? ”
“Someone was in a rush and knocked me right off. Nate had to jump in after me.”
“Only you would fall off a dock on a trip. You’re okay, right?”
“You know Nate would never let anything happen to me.”
“That’s Nate for you,” she says. “I’m glad he went. He’s the only person other than Rob who could manage it. Or maybe he’s the only person ... uh, considering how things ended.” Her voice goes quiet. “I shouldn’t have brought him up.”
“No, it’s okay. I can’t ignore Rob’s existence or anything even though we’re over.” I’ve known I’ll see him again, but the thought of it makes a shudder run down my spine. I know I can’t avoid it, and my fear means nothing.
But it’s definitely there.
“Yeah, definitely over.” She lets out an awkward laugh.
“So, you heard about what I did?”
“I heard that you went on vacation with Nate, which I knew. But nothing else.”
“I poked the bear a little bit, and he hasn’t reached out since. So, it’s definitely over now.”
“Um, maybe don’t get too used to the idea.”
I shake my head. “He’s pissed at me.”
“From what I’ve heard, he still wants a chance.”
I sigh and rub my forehead. “Not happening.”
“Just stick to your guns,” she says. “I’m definitely on your side here. That video was wildly inappropriate. But I also have to let you know he’s being stubborn about this. And sometimes he can be ... good at apologies with you.”
I wince. After what Nate said, I know I let Rob get away with way too much.
“There’s not an apology in the world that can make up for what he did. And even if there was, I’m not so sure that we were right for each other. I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed this honeymoon if it were with him.”
“Really? Has it been better with Nate? ”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Then you have your answer. Just remember that when you see Rob again.”
I think about all of the ways Nate has taken care of me, and I know I won’t forget it.
“I will,” I reply. “But I’ll also try my best not to add any stress to your party.”
She groans. “Right, that. I swear, Mom won’t leave me alone about it. She wants it to be perfect .”
“I’ll do my part. Trust me, I know how Andrea can be.”
“You’re still coming, right? Nate too?”
I dread it, but not because of her. And while I’m terrified of how angry they must be with me, I also won’t avoid my fears anymore.
“Of course I’ll be there. Nate too.”
I’m determined not to let anything happen on her birthday. It’s her day, after all.
“Good. I can’t wait to see you in person. I’ve been so worried about you.”
“I’m doing the best I can.”
“You sound good for someone who dumped an idiot. And before you defend Rob, he’s my brother, and I can say it.”
“I wasn’t even planning on defending him.”
“Wow, you really are doing well.” She laughs. “I’m happy for you. Still can’t wait to see you, though.”
I tell her I feel the same before she says she has to get back to party planning. I promise to send her some pictures before I hang up and go inside.
“How’s Quinn?” Nate asks.
“Planning the party of the century,” I say with a shake of my head. “At least it’s not me.”
Nate laughs before the smile falls off of his face. “Did she mention Rob?”
“In passing.” I wave it off. “It doesn’t matter.”
“What did she say?”
“That he thinks he has a chance, but he doesn’t.” I expect Nate to laugh and agree, but instead, his gaze meets mine. His shoulders are tense. “You do know he doesn’t have a chance, right?”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Nate, I’m not getting back with him.”
“I would hope not, but that little weasel doesn’t give up.”
I blink. “Did you just call my ex a weasel?”
He shrugs. “The shoe fits. Sorry not sorry. And don’t defend him.”
“I wasn’t,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “You’re the one who saw how he was acting at the bachelor party. You get to call him what you want.”
“Actually, I don’t want to call him anything. I don’t want to think about him at all.”
“And what do you wanna think about?”
“You.” He says it in the same way he had when he was at my door picking me up for this cruise.
Relief hits me. We’d gained distance at dinner, but he seems willing to let go of it now.
That’s exactly what I need.
“I think I can work with that,” I say. “Up for sharing the bed again? Or do I need to prepare for a night on the couch?”
“I swear, if you go for that couch, I will drag you across this room again.”
A laugh escapes me. “As much as I would love to fight you, I was kidding. There’s nowhere else I’m sleeping.”
“Good,” he says. “Now get over here, berry.”
I don’t even think twice as I lie next to him on the bed. He doesn’t hesitate to pull me in closer.
My worries evaporate as his lips brush my neck. I know that this is where I’m meant to be.
“I believe you wanted a round two.” I can feel his breath against my sensitive skin and it’s all I can think about .
“Can you deliver now?”
“Oh, I definitely can. Roll over. There’s something I’ve been dying to do.”
I have no idea what he could be referring to, but I do what he asks anyway. I’m on my back when he kisses me once, and then he goes downward.
All at once, I tense.
He sees it immediately.
Nate is at my lower belly when he looks up with a silent question. My cheeks burn.
“Uh, remember what I said about things taking a while?” I ask. “That definitely goes for what you’re offering.”
He raises an eyebrow. “And?”
“ And I’m sure you don’t want to be down there that long.”
“Let’s just get one thing out of the way. Would you enjoy me going down on you?”
My face gets even hotter. “Nate,” I hiss.
“What? Communication is key here. So, answer the question.”
I don’t even think I talked about sex this much with Rob, and I was with him for a decade. I mostly went along with what he wanted.
But Nate asked me something, and even if it’s awkward, I know I need to answer.
“Honestly, I’m not sure. I’ve tried it before and it didn’t result in anything.”
“Let me guess, Rob got tired.”