16. Ember
Ember
Pushing up off the wall, I convinced myself I needed to get ready for work. To my surprise, my body actually listened. Sorting through my clothes, I tried to find something that covered the permanent marker that refused to come off.
The next time I saw him, I was going to junk punch him.
Besides pants, the only option I had was a dress that barely covered his stupid handwriting.
Opting to be cooler in this weather, I chose to deal with the length and hoped I didn’t expose it.
After applying some foundation and throwing my hair up, I made my way into the kitchen to grab something to eat.
Kinsley was the first one to see me, standing in front of the stove and dancing around like she was 100% sober. How she was capable of that? I had no idea. Bodhi stood next to her, holding out a spatula for her like a microphone.
Kolby sat at the table with Bodhi’s teammates and was the first to see me come in the room.
“Hey,” he said sharply, his tone laced with anger as he stood and moved toward me. “You can’t just leave Kinsley for some random dude, Em. We had no idea where you were.”
I nodded, wishing he’d turn down his volume. With my head pounding, I squinted toward him. “I didn’t leave with anyone. I came home.”
Kolby seemed to relax slightly. “You were here the whole time?”
I nodded again, bringing my finger up to my mouth to quiet him as I sat at the table.
I had just grabbed a cup and poured some orange juice when Kinsley let out one of her signature squeals, and my headache instantly worsened.
Looking over at her, I realized she’d taken the spatula from Bodhi and was now pointing it toward my leg.
“You dirty, filthy liar!” She ran across the kitchen to me and started shaking my shoulders, making my head want to physically explode. “Silas?! Is that who you were with last night?”
Oh, shit.
Pulling the fabric over my leg to conceal his name, I ignored Kinsley as she danced around me.
That was easy to ignore. What was harder to dismiss were the looks I received from the boys.
Kolby’s face twisted into one of contempt, which mirrored the same one as Bodhi’s. They must think I lied to them.
I couldn’t do anything about the situation, or their feelings, so I decided to leave for work early.
Standing, I moved straight toward the door and away from this conversation.
Bodhi tried to stop me, but I just didn’t have the energy to explain anything to them.
Making sure not to look back, I waved goodbye and slipped out the front door.
The walk to the bookstore was quiet for once as I tried to process through my own thoughts.
In one area of my life, I was hiding things that I just couldn’t explain to my roommates.
In another, I was not only provoking a stalker but plotting his murder.
As much as I liked having my plate full, I was now teetering on dropping the whole thing and creating a big mess.
Letting my mind wander, I followed the familiar route.
A safe and predictable part of my day, the opposite of what I’d recently encountered.
Left at the cracked sidewalk and then straight past the café until I saw the bookstore.
My hand lifted to my necklace without thinking and stopped when I felt bare skin.
My fingers curled slightly before I forced my hand back down, but I kept walking like nothing happened.
Except something definitely did.
Silas.
I wouldn't be surprised if he was the one responsible for it missing, the asshole who’d claimed me with permanent black marker.
The necklace had been a gift from Kolby, but he probably knew that already, which was why it was gone.
My jaw tightened as I turned the corner, the bookstore coming into view at the end of the block.
Usually that was enough to settle the unease in me, but that was exactly what scared me—it was like I couldn’t settle now that I’d experienced him.
I slowed as I approached the bookstore and stepped inside to start my shift. Placing my bag down, Edna’s voice found me from behind the counter. “There you are, I thought you were probably going to be late with how reliable you tend to be.”
I looked over at her but didn’t force a smile. “Morning, Edna.”
She didn’t respond, just peered at me over her half-moon glasses before turning away with a frown. I watched her as the contents of my stomach threatened to come up. For a split second, I debated letting everything come out in her direction.
I managed to suppress the nausea long enough for her to walk out, the bell over the door signaling my freedom from her.
Folding my arms, I bent and rested my forehead on the wood grain counter for just a second.
My body taking that moment to inform me exactly how mad it was that we hadn’t grabbed something to eat. A loud cry came from my stomach.
“Well that sounds painful.”
Atlas's voice made me jump, which forced my stomach to do another somersault. I groaned slightly as I brought one hand to my belly and the other up to wave him away. Naturally, he didn't listen. Instead, I felt hm at my side as he rubbed my back.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I'm good. Just not feeling great today.”
“You look green.” Guiding me toward the chair behind the desk, he made me sit. “Do me a favor and do not throw up. I don't do well with bodily fluids.”
Normally, I would’ve rolled my eyes at him, but my head was pounding too hard to care. I sank onto the chair with a groan, leaning forward with my elbows on my knees.
Atlas disappeared for a minute before returning with water. “You eat today?”
I shook my head, ready to apologize for being hungover.
“Ember, we've talked about this. You can’t just survive off caffeine and spite.”
I huffed a small laugh as he crouched down next to me, and cocked his head to see my hidden face. “Atlas, I—”
“Hey, it's okay, Let me take care of you for once.”
I barely reacted at first, but then he moved his body between my legs and sat on his knees, rubbing the outside of my thighs.
Atlas was touchy sometimes, it was just the kind of person he was. There were side hugs every time I would come into work or brief moments of him walking by where he would make physical contact. Looking back, it was always casual things that never seemed weird before. Not like this.
So when his hands moved to the inside of my legs and he started massaging them, I tried to fight the red flags that formed in my mind. “I'm okay, really. I just—”
“You’re really tense,” he said quietly as his hand moved in slow circles, “I hate seeing you like this.”
I swallowed hard as I battled another turn of my stomach. I needed to get out of this situation and then find something to eat. “I’ll survive.”
“I know.” His fingers moved to my calves, and he looked up at me. “Doesn’t mean I like it.”
Something in his tone confirmed the next wave of red flags that flooded my mind. He was looking at me and not as a friend or boss.
I shifted uncomfortably and pulled my legs away from him as I sat up straighter. The movement caused the fabric of my dress to fall off my leg, where Silas's name was now exposed.
A look of disappointment filled his features before he sighed and looked up at me. “Have you just pretended not to notice? Or did you really have no idea?”
I stared at him blankly for a second because surely I’d misunderstood him.
When he reworded his question again, my nostrils flared.
Fuck. Realization crashed into me all at once.
The dinners, the banter, the way he always found reasons to hang out with me until closing—I pulled back from him instinctively.
“The truth is that I've been trying to get your attention for a long time now. I thought you would catch on the more we played.” He let out a short laugh and ran a hand through his hair. “I mean, even Edna knows. The desserts, the time together, the flowers.”
Double fuck.
“Atlas, I love working here and I love our friendship...”
“I love it too,” he leaned closer, resting his forearms on my knees as he gestured down to the dark marks on my skin, “but the question is, do you love it more than others?”
The way he said it made my skin crawl, like friendship had simply been a bridge for this. I wondered how long he had waited for this opportunity. Looking down at my leg, I envisioned a masked Silas, and for some reason, the mental presence made me feel comforted.
Another somersault came from my stomach, and this one brought the threat of dry heaving along with a fire in my chest. I stood, shaking my head as I walked around him. “I love you—just not, like that and if that's going to be a problem, I need to know now because I'll find a different job.”
I watched as his lips shifted into a sad smile and then tightened into a thin line as he stood. “I'm sorry for my behavior, and I understand if I'm the one who caused a problem. I hope you'll stay here with us.”
I said nothing as I watched him leave. For a while, I just stared at the door, trying to figure out how I had missed all those signs.
For the next few moments, I just stood and contemplated how I would find another job like this one.
As all my thoughts swirled together, the bell chimed again, and I expected a customer.
“Delivery for Ember?” a voice called out.
My eyes landed on a delivery driver from Clove. “That’s me.”
Nodding, he stepped up to the counter in front of me, holding out a small paper bag with a cardboard drink tray. The smell enveloped me like a familiar blanket, and I immediately knew what the drink was, a spiced chai.
I eyed the items in his hand as I tried to stop the drool forming in my mouth. “But I didn’t order anything.”
The short man shrugged, “Please just take it, it’s already paid for.” Raising his phone, he confirmed the order before handing me a paper. “Chai latte and croissant. Here’s the note.”
I put my hands up in another refusal, but he just set everything down in front of me before turning away. “I don’t—”