10. Alice
Chapter 10
Alice
I sit on the couch, staring blankly at the television. Some cooking show is on, but I can’t focus. The host is tossing something in a pan while talking about balance and flavors. I can only think of how completely unbalanced I am right now.
Splat curls up beside me, his tiny body a warm, steadying presence. I stroke his fur absentmindedly, my chest tight and my mind running in circles.
A knock on the door jerks me out of my thoughts. My heart leaps out of my chest and I freeze. It’s Hunter. It has to be him. He’s sent me many texts throughout the day but hasn’t knocked on my door yet.
My first instinct is to pretend I’m not home. Maybe he’ll go away, but the knock comes again. This time it’s louder and then turns into full-on pounding.
I chew my lip, glancing at the door. If I don’t answer maybe they’ll go away.
Splat meows, as if to say, You’d better deal with this .
I sigh and tiptoe to the door, peering through the peephole. Relief washes over me. It’s not Hunter. Instead, it’s my friends Bridget and Effie.
Still, I hesitate. I don’t want to face anyone right now. I feel like I failed at dating again and don’t want to admit it to anyone yet. Bridget knows about my past and she’s sure to think I’m an idiot when I tell her what I’ve done now.
“Alice!” Bridget’s voice booms through the door, followed by another series of knocks. “We know you’re in there. Open up!”
I groan softly and unlock the door, pulling it open. “What?”
Bridget and Effie barge in like a whirlwind, not even waiting for an invitation. Effie carries a paper bag that smells suspiciously like muffins.
“What’s going on?” Bridget demands, hands on her hips. “I’ve been texting you all day and you’ve ignored me. You’re lucky I didn’t send Miles and Harper over here with their key to make sure you were still alive.”
Effie gives me a once-over, her sharp eyes narrowing. “You look like you’ve been crying. What happened?”
I sigh, shutting the door behind them. “I’m fine.”
“Liar,” Bridget says, crossing her arms. “Spill. You had your date with Hunter last night. How did it go? Did he screw up? Because if he did, I’m ready to?—”
“No!” I blurt, horrified. “He didn’t screw up. Hunter was wonderful.”
“Then why do you look like someone stole your favorite blanket?” Effie asks, plopping down on my couch and setting her bag from Star Bakery on the coffee table.
I sink into the armchair, avoiding their eyes. “It’s complicated.”
Bridget raises an eyebrow. “Uncomplicate it. Start at the beginning.”
I take a deep breath, the words spilling out in a rush. “The date was amazing. We had dinner at his house. He made comfort food because I told him it was my favorite. They were his mom’s recipes and so delicious. Then we watched a movie and I got sleepy. I, um, stayed over.”
Bridget grins. “Ooh, did things get spicy?”
I nod, feeling my face heat. “Not last night, but this morning when we woke up.”
Effie leans forward. “Go on.”
I rub my hands on the arms of the chair, the words catching in my throat. “We didn’t use protection. I realized it after, and I panicked,” I continue. “I got dressed and left before we could even talk about it. I told him I needed to check on Splat, but really I just… I ran.”
The room falls silent, and I brace myself for their judgment.
Quickly I add, “I’ve already taken the morning-after pill.”
Effie asks, “What about Hunter? Are you going to see him again?”
“I clearly can’t handle this. I’m not responsible enough to be in a relationship. I’ll just keep to myself like I always have. It will be hard at first since we live next to each other, but I’m sure he’ll leave me alone once he realizes that I’m not good enough for him.”
Bridget shakes her head, her expression softening. “Alice, come on. You made a mistake. That doesn’t mean you’re not capable of being in a relationship. It takes two people to get carried away, you know.”
Effie nods. “Yeah, it’s not like you’re the only one responsible for what happened. And honestly? Hunter is the one with experience. I think you were both caught up in the passion of being with someone you’re falling in love with and got carried away. It happens.”
Falling in love with?
I sit back, my heart pounding.
Love. Is that what this is?
This overwhelming, all-consuming feeling I have for Hunter? This pull to be near him, even when I’m terrified of what it means?
I think back to the way he looked at me last night, the way he touched me with so much care and tenderness. The way he kissed me this morning like I was the most important thing in the world.
It’s love.
I love him.
“Oh, God,” I whisper, pressing my hands to my face. “What am I supposed to do now?”
Bridget grins and pats my knee. “You figure it out, but running away isn’t the answer.”
Effie leans back, crossing her arms. “Yeah. The question is, do you want to be with him?”
My throat tightens. “I don’t think I’m good enough for him. I don’t want to hurt him.”
“Stop,” Bridget says firmly. “I don’t think Hunter wants perfection and I bet he worries about being good enough for you. If you truly love him you owe it to both of you to try.”
I look between them, my chest aching with a mix of fear and hope. Maybe they’re right. Maybe I don’t have to keep running. Maybe it’s time to take a chance.
Hunter
From my window, I see Alice’s friends walking into her house. They don’t look upset, so that’s a good sign. Alice doesn’t seem the type to rally a mob to chase me down, but with how she left this morning I’m not sure what kind of mood she’s in. I’m still not sure what happened or why she won’t return my texts.
My house feels too quiet, too empty without her. One night together and everything changed. I want to go next door right now and fix whatever is wrong.
I grab my phone and scroll through my contacts until I land on Wilder’s name. If anyone has advice, it’s him. He’s been in my shoes before.
The phone barely rings before he answers.
“Hunter. What’s up?”
“How do you always know something’s up?” I ask, leaning against my kitchen counter.
“Because I’ve known you your whole life,” he says matter-of-factly. “Your voice gets all tight when something’s wrong. Spill.”
I sigh, running a hand through my hair. “It’s Alice.”
There’s a pause, and then I hear the sound of a door shutting on his end. “I’m listening.”
“We had a date last night,” I begin. “It was amazing. She came over for dinner. I cooked mom’s meatloaf. Then, Alice stayed over. It was perfect, Wilder. She’s everything…” I trail off, unsure how to put the rest into words.
“But?” Wilder prompts.
“But she left this morning without really saying goodbye. She called out that she needed to check on her cat, but she hasn’t answered my calls or texts all day.”
“Okay,” Wilder says slowly. “Did something happen?”
“Yes. No. I mean…”
“I know that part. I mean something that would make her leave. Unless that’s what made her leave. Like you were bad at it or…”
I know he’s giving me a hard time, but it suddenly hits why she probably left. “Damn, we didn’t use protection,” I admit, my stomach twisting as the words leave my mouth.
Wilder whistles low. “Well, damn.”
“I know,” I groan, pacing the kitchen. “I didn’t even realize it until right now. She probably thinks I’m some irresponsible jackass who doesn’t care about her, and I?—”
“Whoa, slow down,” Wilder interrupts. “You’re spiraling.”
“I’m not spiraling,” I snap, even though I am. “I just —” I take a second to gather myself. “I don’t know what to do. I don’t want her to think I don’t care about her. I care about her so much, Wilder.”
“You love her,” he says. It’s not even a question.
“Yes,” I say, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world, even though this is the first time I’m admitting it out loud. “I love her. I’m head over heels in love with her, Wilder. She’s all I think about.”
“Then stop beating yourself up,” he says calmly. “You didn’t handle things perfectly, but nobody does. It’s what you do next that matters. You love her? Then go be there for her. Be honest, be yourself, and stop getting in your own way.
“I hate when you’re right,” I grumble.
“You love it,” he says smugly. “Now go get your woman, little brother.”
I hang up, staring out the window until Bridget and Effie step out of Alice’s house.
It’s time to get my woman. I grab my jacket, take a deep breath, and head for the door. I’m not losing her.
Not without a fight.