20. Luca
TWENTY
LUCA
I slammed on the brakes.
I barely parked before killing the engine and stumbling out, my blood boiling hot. Hunting down Alexei could wait. Dominic came first.
If you don’t come, I’ll find someone else.
What a stupid text.
I killed the engine and climbed out, slamming the door. My head spun with images I didn’t want. Dominic touching someone else. It made me want to rip my own skin off.
I shoved the key into the lock, flinging the door open. He stood in the living room, arms crossed, like he hadn’t thrown a grenade into my chest. I stalked toward him.
“Why did you text me that?”
He sneered. “You’ve been dodging me all day, and now you want to play jealous boyfriend?”
“I’m dodging you because every time I see you, I want to break something.”
He smiled. “And yet, here you are.”
I slammed him against the wall, my forearm pressing into his chest. He let me, his dark eyes gleaming.
“You think this is funny? Dragging me here with that shit?”
“Worked, didn’t it?”
I grabbed the knife from my side, the blade flashing as I pressed it to his throat. His pulse beat steadily against the steel, and the bastard didn’t even flinch. He smirked, like I gave him exactly what he wanted.
“Have you been with someone else?”
His eyes softened. “No.”
“Don’t lie to me.”
“I haven’t been with anyone except you, and I don’t want to be.”
My grip tightened on the knife. “If you screw around, I swear to God, I’ll kill him. I’ll kill your lover right in front of you. Then I’ll fuck you over his corpse.”
His lips twitched. “Kinky.”
“You get off on hurting me, don’t you?”
Dominic’s smirk faltered. “Don’t act like you’re innocent, Luca. You hurt me too. You push me away, you run, you act like I don’t matter. You don’t think that hurts?”
My chest tightened. “You sent that text.”
“I can only take so much,” he shot back.
A tremor went through my hand. The knife pressed too hard against his neck, and crimson bloomed in a thin line.
I froze.
I yanked the blade back, hating myself. The knife clattered to the floor. I grabbed his shirt, fists twisting in the fabric.
“Why do you do this to me?”
Dominic’s lips curled. “Do what? Make you feel something?”
“I don’t want to hurt you. I just need it to stop.”
Dominic’s hands lifted, settling on my wrists. “What exactly are you trying to stop?”
I couldn’t force the words past the knot in my throat.
“The sex?” he pressed. “The way you feel when I’m close?”
I let out a shaky breath.
His dark gaze searched mine, stripping me bare. He saw everything —every crack I tried to hide, every broken piece I’d buried.
Weeks ago, I’d broken into his house with the same knife. I’d meant to kill him. I had the perfect opportunity. I couldn’t do it. I told myself it was a crack in my control that I’d patch up later.
It wasn’t a mistake.
It was him.
“You tear me apart without even trying. I don’t know what to do with that. I don’t know how to want someone like you.”
Dominic’s gaze never wavered. “You think you’re the only one who feels that way? I hate how much I want you. You piss me off. You make me crazy. But I can’t stop wanting you. ”
I stared at him, my throat dry.
“I don’t want anyone else,” he said, pressing his forehead against mine. “Only you.”
Warmth flooded through me. I’d given him every reason to walk away, but he stayed. He kept looking at me like I wasn’t broken. Like he’d made up his mind about me.
“You shouldn’t…want me.” I hated how fucking weak I sounded. “You’re wasting your time.”
Dominic’s lips twitched. “The heart wants what the heart wants.”
“I’ll hurt you.”
“Luca, I don’t need you to be perfect. I just need you to choose me.”
My throat tightened. He said it like it was simple, like I could reach out and take what he offered without killing us both. Alexei was still out there. What if he found out about us?
The ache in my chest sharpened.
I needed to let him go. It was the right thing to do.
My palms flattened on his chest. I saw myself pushing him, but my hands wouldn’t move. Rejecting Dominic felt like slicing a blade across my wrist. I couldn’t anymore.
I yanked him forward, crashing my mouth against his. My teeth sank into his bottom lip before sucking on it. Dominic gasped, the sound shooting straight to my cock. My tongue fucked his mouth as his hands tangled in my hair.
He groaned.
I broke from his mouth, panting. “I want you.”
His face lit up with a grin. “Say that again.”
“ I want you .”
Dominic’s smile softened. “You’re going to kill me, Luca, but I don’t care. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to hear that.”
I let him pull me closer again. His lips brushed mine. I kissed him harder, one hand threading into his hair as my other hand slid down to his hip. Dominic kissed me back, his body pressing into mine.
“You drive me crazy,” he muttered between kisses. “You?—”
I swallowed the words with another kiss, pulling a groan from deep in his chest. He stepped out of my reach, his hands dropping from me.
“Get on your knees.”
My knees touched the floor. I never thought I’d kneel for anyone. It went against every lesson beaten into me over the years. Submission was a death sentence. And yet, I didn’t feel weak.
I felt free.
I’d spent my entire life fighting for control, but I wanted to give him the power to break me.
And that terrified me.
Dominic patted my cheek. “Now show me what all that attitude’s been hiding.”
I let my hands move to his belt, my fingers unbuckling it. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.
“You’ve spent so much time pretending you don’t want this,” he said, his tone low and edged with heat. “But look at you now.”
I glared up at him. “You don’t have to gloat.”
“I do. Because this is exactly where you belong.”
I leaned forward, letting instinct take over as I kissed along the line of his hip, my lips brushing his skin. I heard him suck in a breath. For the first time, I didn’t feel lost.
I felt claimed.
I wanted him to know I was claiming him right back.
I hooked my fingers under his waistband, yanking his pants down. My pulse pounded as I freed his cock. Heat coiled low in my stomach as I wrapped my hand around him, stroking before leaning in.
Dominic grabbed my jaw. “Such an eager little employee.”
I glared at him, my hand tightening around his cock.
“Keep hating me, but use that mouth while you do.”
I narrowed my eyes but leaned forward, licking up the length of him in one slow pass. His hand tightened in my hair, and I grinned.
I took him into my mouth.
He groaned, sending a jolt through me. I worked him slowly at first, letting my tongue swirl around him. I sucked on the side of his shaft, getting it nice and wet. Then I paid attention to his balls, sucking on them slightly. Dominic hissed, and I moved further back along his taint. As my tongue hit its mark, Dominic’s ragged groan cut the air. His fingers tightened on my jaw as his other hand threaded into my hair.
“Fuck, Luca. Such a filthy mouth.”
My tongue pulsed against his hole, his cock jerking as I licked back to his head.
“Still think you’re the boss?” I asked.
He chuckled. “You’re literally on your knees for me. That’s as submissive as it gets.”
“Don’t get used to it.”
“Oh, sweetheart. I think you love it down there.”
I sucked him back in as I gave him my best glare.
He let out a long breath. “That’s it. Don’t stop.”
I hollowed my cheeks, sucking harder as I worked along his length. Dominic’s fingers tightened, forcing me to take him deeper. A gag bubbled up, but that made him groan louder. His hips jerked forward. I braced myself, letting him use me.
“God, you look so good like this.”
My body burned. I took him deeper, faster, his cock sliding against the back of my throat. Tears pricked at my eyes, spit dripping down my chin, but I didn’t stop.
“Your throat is so fucking good, baby. You’ll make me come.”
I bobbed my head faster, chasing the way his thighs trembled under my hands. His groans grew louder until he yanked me up by my hair. I stumbled. His hands gripped my face, his mouth crashing into mine in a kiss that was all teeth and tongue.
His hands dropped to my hips. His cock, still slick from my mouth, pressed against my stomach.
“I should hate you for what you do to me.”
“Then hate me, but you’re not walking away.”
He laughed. “Not a fucking chance.”
Dominic grabbed my arm and spun me around, shoving me toward the bedroom. His footsteps were heavy behind me, and then the door slammed open, hitting the wall with a loud crack.
He didn’t bother with finesse. One rough push, and I stumbled inside, catching myself before he was on me again, shoving me backward onto the bed. I hit the mattress, bouncing slightly.
He fell on top of me, knocking the air out of my lungs. His mouth crushed mine. Teeth clashed. Tongues fought.
He bit down on my lip, and I gasped. He moved to my neck and sank his teeth into the sensitive skin. I moaned, my hands flying to his back, nails raking over muscle.
“Dom.”
He ripped my shirt off my head. His teeth grazed my nipple before biting. Pleasure and pain slammed into me, my back arching off the bed as a broken moan tore from my throat. When his mouth finally reached my hip, he paused.
“Don’t stop,” I growled.
Dominic smirked. “If you want me to keep going, ask for it.”
I clenched my jaw. “Suck me off. Now.”
“Try again.”
My fists gripped the sheets so tight my knuckles ached, but Dominic didn’t move. His eyes bored into me, daring me to surrender the last shred of control.
I swallowed hard. “Please.”
“Please, what?”
I hated him so much. “Please suck my cock.”
His eyes darkened. He didn’t say a word as he hooked his fingers under my waistband and yanked. The rough scrape of my jeans dragging down my thighs jolted through me, followed by the sharp bite of cold air. My cock ached.
Dominic pressed his mouth below my navel, his lips brushing the sensitive skin. My fingers twitched. I wanted to grab his hair and rail his mouth.
“ Dom .”
He ignored me, his mouth moving lower. My breathing hitched. Dominic glanced up, his lips inches from my cock. The smug bastard could see exactly how close I was to falling apart. Then he took me into his mouth.
Heat surrounded me. Wet, blinding, perfect. My head hit the pillow.
His tongue dragged along the underside of my cock, and a groan tore out of my throat. My hips jerked forward, but Dominic’s hands tightened on my hips, pinning me in place.
Dominic hummed, the vibration shooting through me. My thighs trembled, pressure coiling in me with every pass of his tongue. He took me deeper, his cheeks hollowing around me. My vision blurred. Fuck, even the wet sounds made my cock throb.
He released me with a wet pop. My cock stabbed the air, trembling slightly as he retrieved something from the nightstand. Dominic tore plastic from a bottle of lube, and then he forced my legs apart. Something cool glided down, a slick sensation spreading as his fingers teased my asshole.
A sharp push stole the air from my lungs. My jaw slackened as he worked me open, the pleasure so intense I couldn’t breathe. His fingers pressed deeper, stretching me. Each thrust dragged a broken sound from my throat.
Dominic grinned. “I haven’t even taken you yet.”
“ Dom .”
“You’ll be perfect wrapped around me.”
I clenched my teeth. “No more teasing. Just take me.”
Dominic’s eyes darkened. “I need to get you ready.”
“I need all of you. Now.”
His smirk widened, but it wasn’t taunting.
He squeezed more lube over his cock. The sight alone had me gripping the sheets.
“Turn around,” Dominic ordered. “On your knees.”
I obeyed.
He picked up something from the mattress and tore it open. I glanced at him, catching him rolling a condom over his cock. Then his palm landed on my lower back.
“Relax,” he soothed. “Just breathe.”
The blunt head of his cock pressed against me. My fists tightened on the sheets as a sharp stretch tore through me, the pain blurring with something hotter. He didn’t rush, just kept pushing until the burn gave way to a pressure that made me shudder.
The tension in my muscles softened. He paused, letting me adjust, his hand steady on me. Then he pressed forward again.
“You’re doing so good.”
The burn softened, giving way to fullness that made me shudder. I hadn’t expected to feel so much.
Dominic pushed forward again, deeper this time, and a sound tore from my throat. I dropped my head, sweat beading at the back of my neck as my body adjusted. I breathed through the sharp pain, feeling every inch. Intense. Overwhelming. Dominic’s hand pressed between my shoulder blades, pinning me.
“Just like that. You’re taking me so well, baby.”
Each slow thrust dragged me closer to the edge. He was ruining me for anyone else. He slowly pulsed back and forth. The sound of skin slapping skin filled the room, his pace picking up.
His hips snapped harder.
I dropped my head, sweat dripping down my face. My cock throbbed. I couldn’t stop the desperate sounds spilling from me. Dominic fed off them, fucking me like he was trying to break me.
“Don’t hold back,” he bit out. “Let me hear you.”
Dominic slammed into me, his rhythm relentless. Every thrust shattered something inside me, leaving nothing but heat, pressure, and the undeniable truth: I was his.
“More.”
Dominic’s hands dug into my hips. He buried himself deeper. My whole body jolted with the force. My fingers clawed at the sheets. I couldn’t even catch my breath. His hand slid up my back, holding me down.
My fingers twisted in the sheets, knuckles white as he picked up the pace. Every thrust shoved me further into the mattress.
All I could do was gasp, my body arching against his rhythm. His hand slipped lower, wrapping around my throat.
“I could fuck you all night,” Dominic groaned.
I clenched around him, and a growl ripped from his chest as his hips snapped forward. I couldn’t think, drowning in the raw need he dragged out of me.
His hands dug into my hips, dragging me back against him as he buried himself to the hilt. The stretch of him filling was too much, and my body arched. My head tipped forward as his lips pressed to the back of my neck.
“Touch yourself, Luca. I want you to come.”
My hand slid between my legs, fingers curling around my cock. I was already leaking, desperate, so far gone it hurt.
Dominic’s thumb pressed against my lips. My chest tightened, but my mouth opened before I could stop it. I sucked him in, letting him take that part of me, too.
I groaned around his thumb as he slammed into me. I squeezed my cock in my fist, stroking hard, pleasure searing through me. I couldn’t even find air as I fucked my fist.
“Come for me, Luca. Now.”
My body clenched around him as my orgasm tore through me. My cum hit the sheets in thick pulses, my hand shaking as I worked myself through it, the pleasure a white-hot crack of lightning that tore me apart.
Dominic groaned behind me, his grip bruising my hips. His thumb slipped from my mouth. His hips stilled, his cock twitching as he buried himself deep. His groans broke into something rough.
Dominic’s hands softened on my hips, fingers brushing against skin he’d gripped too hard, his touch suddenly tender. He pulled out slowly, but his presence stayed like he wasn’t ready to let go yet.
Neither was I.
What the fuck did that mean?
Dominic disappeared for a second, and I heard the sound of water running. He came back with towels, wiping me down.
“You alright?”
I turned toward him. “Yeah.”
His hand traced the ink scrawled across my chest. The warmth of his fingers sent a strange comfort rippling through me. He followed the lines of Cyrillic over my heart, the letters bold and mocking.
“Tell me about this one.” He pressed his palm over my chest tattoo, his warmth sinking into me.
I swallowed hard. “It says, Property of the Bratva .”
Dominic’s jaw twitched. “Those bastards.”
“Yeah, well. It’s part of the deal. They take everything and make sure you never forget who owns you.”
“You don’t belong to them anymore.”
“It’ll always be there, reminding me of every fucked-up thing I did to survive.” I turned away, but his hand caught my chin.
His dark eyes bored into mine. “We’ll get rid of every last mark they put on you. You’re not theirs anymore.”
“And whose am I then?”
He smiled. “You’re mine.”
I didn’t respond, my throat too tight. His hand dropped to my waist, fingers brushing over the ink on my ribs.
“What about this one?” he asked.
“ Loyal until death .”
His lips pressed into a line. “Loyalty’s not a bad thing, but you don’t owe it to people who treat you like shit.”
“I owed it to myself. To survive.”
“You did more than that. You fought and won.”
“Dumb luck,” I muttered. “If Santino hadn’t forced my hand, I wouldn’t be here right now. Who knows when I would’ve made a move.”
“Don’t downplay what you did.” He brushed the Cyrillic on my fingers, frowning. “What’s that mean?”
I sighed. “Russian for nobody .”
“Jesus. When did they start doing this to you?”
“Sixteen, when I started working for them. I needed to prove my loyalty to them, so the Pakhan gave me a test. They brought me into a room where they had this guy bound up, kneeling, and gave me a gun. Told me to shoot him.” I swallowed hard, an image of a dark room filled with Bratva men flashing in my head. “After I did it, they threw a party. They got me drunk, tattooed my chest, and pushed me into a room with a prostitute.”
I could still see her bored face. I was just another job to her. The memory of her perfume swirled in my nostrils, turning my stomach.
“They told me it was part of being a man,” I continued, voice rough. “Part of proving I belonged. After I killed for them, they wanted to make sure I could do… that, too.”
“Welcome to the Bratva.”
I huffed a bitter laugh. “They were all outside the door. Laughing. I was sixteen—drunk, shaking, scared out of my fucking mind. And they expected me to perform. So I did.”
I swallowed hard, my throat burning. My gaze dropped to Dominic’s hand on my ribs, the warmth of it almost unbearable.
“And?”
“And I felt nothing. I kept waiting for something to click, but it didn’t. I hated every second of it. Hated myself for letting them shove me into that room. Hated that my body worked even when my brain wanted to shut down.”
Dominic’s grip on me tightened.
“I never understood why.” I looked away, staring at the cracks in the ceiling. “I spent years telling myself it was stress. That the right girl would fix me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Luca.”
I scoffed. “Try telling that to sixteen-year-old me, drunk out of my mind with some stranger on top of me.”
Dominic’s thumb touched the ink. “They’re sick. They branded you like a fucking animal.”
“That’s exactly what I was. An animal they trained to follow orders. The ink was a reminder. You kill for us, you die for us, and you’re nothing without us.”
“They didn’t make you who you are, Luca. They broke you down because they were terrified of what you’d be without their leash.”
“It doesn’t matter. This will never go away.”
“They will. Whether you cover them up or laser them away, you’re not letting that shit define you anymore. Not while I’m around.”
My chest tightened. “What about the memories?”
“You’ll make new ones.”
“I can’t erase the past fourteen years, Dom. They changed me. There’s no getting around that. It’s not just the tattoos, it’s the way I speak, my behavior. I feel so lost.”
“You’re not lost. You’re adapting.”
“To what? A life I don’t understand anymore?”
“A life that’s yours,” Dominic said firmly. “Not something they built for you. You can finally figure out who you really are.”
“You make it sound easy.”
“It’s not,” he admitted. “It’s messy, but you’re not chained to the Bratva anymore. You decide what happens next.”
I shook my head. “I don’t even know where to start.”
“What gets you out of bed in the morning?”
“Vodka and vengeance.”
Dominic smirked. “I was thinking along the lines of college.”
That was the plan. “I’m hoping I can start next fall. Santino knows a guy, Alessio Salvatore. Says he can help me get into Bourton, but I’m not sure if I should go. I’ll probably flunk out of an Ivy League.”
“You won’t.”
“I don’t know, Dom.”
“You can do this,” he said, stroking my hair. “I’ll help you study every day if that’s what it takes, and you’ll go to college. I don’t want to hear about how you don’t deserve it. You do.”
Dominic pulled me into his chest, caging me in his arms. I let him hold me. It was like an anchor keeping me from drifting too far into the dark. For once, I didn’t feel like I had to run.
But the stillness never lasted.
His breathing evened out, and the weight rushed back. I didn’t deserve the comfort of being held when so much of me still belonged to them.
Property of the Bratva.
I lifted my hand, fingers ghosting over the tattoo Dominic had touched. I couldn’t decide to become someone else. The past wouldn’t let me walk away.
Neither did men like Alexei.
My body tensed. Alexei would never let me go. If he knew about Dominic, he’d make me pay for it in ways I didn’t want to imagine. I had no doubt he’d carve his vengeance slow.
And Dominic?
Alexei wouldn’t just kill him. He’d make an example of him. He’d break Dominic apart piece by piece, and he’d do it in front of me.
My stomach turned. I clenched my fists against Dominic’s chest, barely breathing. Dominic didn’t understand what men like Alexei did when they had nothing left but spite.
I need to find him.
I had to kill Alexei before he found out about us. I wouldn’t let Dominic pay the price for my weakness. Dominic was already at risk just by being near me.
I let my gaze drift to Dominic’s face, softened by sleep, his hand still tangled in my hair. He looked so peaceful. I shifted carefully, kissing his shoulder. Then I settled back against him, letting him hold me for a little while longer.
Tomorrow morning, I’d start hunting Alexei.
Tonight, I’d let myself have this.