27. Luca
TWENTY-SEVEN
LUCA
Tonight was a mistake the moment I walked in.
The scent of garlic and fresh herbs filled Santino and Delilah’s kitchen. I sat at the table, ignoring the dull ache in my side. It’d been weeks since I’d seen them. Every smile they gave me reminded me how far I’d drifted from them. Santino leaned against the counter, his arms crossed over his broad chest.
Delilah moved between the stove and counter, her dark curls slipping free from their pins. Her vintage apron was smudged with sauce. She brought out plates of food, the scent of roasted vegetables mixing with something far more familiar. She set down a bowl of solyanka in front of me. My mind flashed to cold nights in a locked room—metal trays, lukewarm stew, the sharp tang of vinegar masking cheap meat.
Auntie Cecilia nudged my ribs. “I haven’t seen you in weeks. Why don’t you call?”
I forced a smile. “Been busy. You know how it is.”
Her eyes narrowed. Aunt Cecilia was sharp-eyed and petite, her gray-streaked hair in a low bun. When I was a kid, she’d never bought my excuses. Maybe that was why I avoided her the most. Before I was kidnapped, I used to go to her house every Sunday. Santino and I would run around the streets, stealing bikes and throwing tomatoes at people’s windows from her garden. I used to run inside smelling like dirt and sweat, collapsing into my mom’s lap while she scolded me softly, brushing my hair back with her fingers.
A gentle voice. Soft hands. I barely remembered her face. Just flashes of black curls and the sound of her bright laughter.
“You can’t call your zia for two minutes?” she pressed.
She didn’t get it. I don’t want to remember what’s gone.
I hesitated. “I’ve been injured.”
Her eyes widened. “How bad?”
I shrugged. “It’s nothing serious.”
Santino cut in. “Luca got into a scuffle. He caught a bad hit, that’s all.”
Auntie’s gaze shifted to Santino. “And you didn’t tell me?”
Santino shifted uncomfortably.
“It’s not his fault,” I said quickly. “I told him not to say anything. I didn’t want to worry you.”
“You boys,” she muttered, ripping off a chunk of bread. “Always thinking you need to handle everything alone. I want to know if something happened to you. You’re all I have left of my baby sister.”
I reached for the bread basket. “I’m alright, zia. You don’t need to worry.”
The doorbell rang.
Santino pushed off the counter. “That’s probably Dom.”
He’s here?
My heart lurched. I shot a glance at Santino as Delilah hurried toward the door.
“You invited him over?”
Santino glanced at me. “He saved your life. We owe him dinner.”
I clenched my jaw. The last thing I needed was Dominic showing up tonight. Delilah’s cheerful voice echoed as she opened the door, greeting him.
Dominic walked in. His crisp shirt still clung to his chest in a maddening way, but his smile didn’t quite touch his eyes. He handed Delilah a block of imported cheese wrapped in wax paper.
“This is for you.”
She smiled. “You didn’t have to bring anything.”
Delilah set the cheese on the counter. Her hands trembled, but Dominic pretended not to notice. Nobody knew about Delilah’s alcohol problem except for close family. Somehow, Dominic had known to avoid that landmine.
Was he that good at reading people?
I caught myself staring, my chest tightening. Dominic’s charisma was a weapon. Watching him wield it mesmerized me.
Dominic slid into the chair across from me, one arm draped over the backrest. He was on edge. I’d spent too long watching him to miss his tells.
Dominic was waiting for me to stop pushing him away, to just… let him in.
And I couldn’t.
A dull ache throbbed in my chest, and I shoved a piece of bread into my mouth.
The last time Dominic had looked at me like this, it broke me. He’d stood there, demanding answers, and I’d shoved him away. The flicker of hurt in his eyes haunted my nightmares.
It had to be done.
Dominic didn’t belong in my mess. Dominic was perfect, and being with me was like rolling in broken glass. Eventually, he’d bleed. It would’ve been so easy to admit what I’d done and why, but I couldn’t.
What would I even say?
I hate anyone else having your attention. I care about you so much it fucking terrifies me. I can never be with you the way I want.
I forced myself to meet his eyes. “Mr. Caruso.”
His attention wandered to my wrists, and his smirk deepened. “No need to be so formal.”
I shook out my sleeves, and my heart sank. Dominic’s cufflinks. Fuck. I’d put them on for the dinner. Tension coiled tighter in my chest. Dominic’s presence felt like a spotlight on everything I was trying to hide.
Auntie’s brow furrowed. “Do you two know each other?”
“You could say that, Mrs. Costa. I’m Luca’s boss.”
My teeth ground together. The last thing I needed was my family finding out about Dominic and me.
“Boss, huh? So you’re the one that let Luca get hurt?”
“Ma,” Santino snapped. “Leave it alone.”
“No, she’s got a point. I let things slip once, but I won’t make that mistake again. Right, Luca?” Dominic swiveled his head toward me, and heat crawled up my neck.
I nodded stiffly. “Right.”
Auntie’s fork clattered against her plate. “So, what kind of work does Luca do for you?”
“Security at the casino. Luca’s got a good eye for spotting trouble before it starts.” He glanced at me, winking. “He’s one of my best employees. I trust him more than most.”
Auntie’s face softened. “He’s always been a good boy.”
“Oh, he’s more than good. He’s someone you want in your corner when things get messy.” Dominic leaned forward, his lip curving slightly. “I’d like to think of us as more than guys who work together.”
Santino’s brow furrowed as he ate a chunk of salad.
“We’re friends,” I blurted.
The air seemed to freeze. Judging by the glint in Santino’s eye, I’d made his suspicions worse.
I forced a smile. “Yeah. He’s like a brother, really. Just someone who looks out for me.”
Auntie beamed. “Luca’s always made friends so easily. He’s got a good heart.”
Dominic’s smile faltered. “Yeah, Luca’s got a way of making you feel… special.”
“Do you have a girlfriend?” she asked.
Dominic smiled. “No girlfriend. Work keeps me occupied.”
“Such a shame,” she sighed. “A man like you shouldn’t be alone.”
Dominic’s lips quirked. “I’m still waiting for the right person.”
My throat went dry. I shoved another chunk of bread into my mouth. Dominic wasn’t looking at me, but his words throbbed inside me.
I’m still waiting for the right person.
I hated him for saying it. Hated how the warmth of it curled up inside me like a secret I couldn’t keep. Dominic could turn a simple sentence into a goddamn weapon.
The rest of the meal passed in a blur. I picked at the solyanka but barely ate. Auntie talked to Dominic, hanging on his every word. Santino grumbled about work. Delilah kept busy, refilling glasses and clearing plates, but her eyes constantly darted to me.
Dominic stayed quiet, though his gaze lingered on my hands.
By the time the dishes were cleared, I was ready to crawl out of my skin. Dominic stood to leave, thanking Auntie for dinner.
I let him get to the door before I shot to my feet. My chair scraped loudly against the tile, making everyone glance up. I ignored them, moving past Delilah and Santino.
I caught up with Dominic as he stepped outside. The door clicked shut behind me, muffling the sound of the dinner chatter. Dominic didn’t look surprised to see me following him.
“What?” he said.
I swallowed hard. “Wait.”
He paused at the edge of the porch. The yellow glow from the house caught on his tight jaw.
“What do you want, Luca?”
I didn’t know. My thoughts were a tangled mess.
Dominic sighed and started down the steps. “I don’t have time for this?—”
“Dominic.”
My voice cracked, and he froze. I hated how weak I sounded, but I couldn’t let him walk away. Not like this.
Dominic turned. “You want to explain why Frank looks like roadkill? Or maybe you just want to push me away again?”
I winced at the bitterness in his tone. He didn’t deserve it, but I didn’t know how to stop. Alexei was still out there.
“I didn’t mean to.”
“Yes, you did. You called me your brother in there.”
“I had to! You were making it so obvious. They’re going to figure it out if you keep looking at me like?—”
“Like you mean something to me?”
I tensed. “Yeah. They’re going to put it together, and then?—”
“So what if your family finds out? Why is every man too scared to acknowledge me?”
“Dom, it’s complicated.”
He glowered. “I’ve done nothing but wait for you. Do you realize what you’re asking me to put up with?”
“You don’t understand.”
“Then make me understand !” He threw his hands out. “You can’t even admit you care , but you’re wearing my cufflinks, for fuck’s sake!”
My face burned.
Dominic let out a bitter laugh. “I’m the one bending over backwards to be with you. I’m the one hiding in the shadows, waiting for the day you finally decide I’m worth the risk.”
I clenched my fists. “This isn’t the time or place.”
“You didn’t care about that when you beat the shit out of Frank.”
“I felt threatened by him. Seeing him text you made me lose it.”
“The problem isn’t Frank. It’s you .”
That felt like a blade slicing through me. I stood there, fists clenched. The air stung my cheeks, but it was nothing compared to the ache spreading through my chest.
He stared at me, his eyes fractured with pain.
“I-I’m trying, Dom. I don’t know how to do this.”
Dominic shook his head. “Luca, you can’t even admit that you’re gay.”
My vision blurred, but I blinked.
He sighed, softening. “You’re so not ready for this.”
I stepped forward. “Don’t say that. I am ready. I swear to God, I’m trying?—”
“You’re not,” Dominic said softly. “You can’t even tell your family about us. It’s my fault. I shouldn’t have pushed you.”
“What are you saying?”
Dominic exhaled. “It’s over, Luca. You need to figure out what you want without me.”
The words shattered in my chest.
“No, Dom?—”
“You’re destroying yourself, and I can’t keep watching it happen.”
“You don’t need to worry about me!”
“The hell I don’t. Do you even care what happens to you, Luca? Because I care, and it’s killing me.”
My chest tightened. “Dom?—”
“Baby, it’s over.”
I grabbed his jacket. “Don’t do this.”
Dominic’s hands gripped mine, prying them away from his jacket, and I clung to his warmth. “Let go, Luca.”
The softness in his voice made it worse. I wanted him to yell, to do anything but act like he pitied me. When I dropped my hands, Dominic stepped back.
“ Please don’t leave me .”
He closed his eyes before shaking his head. “I can’t keep chasing someone who doesn’t want to be caught.”
He turned and walked away, each step heavier than the last. I watched him go, frozen, as his car door opened and then shut. The engine roared to life, and the headlights cut across the empty street before he pulled away.
I stayed there, the ache in my chest spreading until it filled every inch of me. My fingers twitched at my sides, vibrating with the need to hit something.
But there was nothing to hit. No one to fight.
Just me.
I sank onto the porch steps, burying my face in my hands. I’d just let go of the only good thing I had left.
A jagged sob ripped from my throat before I could choke it back. I slammed my fist against the steps, the sting radiating up my arm. I leaned forward, my chest heaving. I felt like I was suffocating. The cufflinks on my wrists dug into my skin, reminding me what I’d thrown away.
I was utterly alone, and it was my fault.