37. Kaitlyn
CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN
Kaitlyn
NOW
“I can’t find Bailey,” Javi says, walking into the kitchen where I’m making sandwiches for everyone.
“Are you sure?” I ask, and he shrugs, looking on the counter.
“Can you cut them in triangles instead of squares?”
I chuckle under my breath, smiling. “I can do that. When’s the last time you saw B?”
“Carrying blankets upstairs, but then he disappeared. We’re gonna build a fort,” Javi says, smiling. “Do you want to help?”
“I’m pretty good at making forts, but why don’t you go look for Bailey again?” I suggest, wondering where he could’ve wandered off to.
“I didn’t know we were playing hide and seek, but there’s a lot of places to hide here,” Javi says on his way out of the kitchen, making me snort as my phone goes off with an alert that Hurricane Percy made landfall.
My parents have been checking in every hour to make sure I’m okay, and I’ve told them not to worry, even if I know there’s nothing I can say to make them feel better about not being here. I also made sure to let Thalia know that I did my best to make sure everything at the gallery would be okay.
It sucks knowing we’re stuck in a waiting game to see what the storm actually does, but now we’re in a countdown until Percy reaches Charlotte.
I’ve been waiting for Mirabelle to spring her fake labor moment on us, but I’m hoping she abandoned the idea after Bailey and I spent hours in the car together yesterday.
Once I recovered from my embarrassment about being momentarily jealous of Luna, the drive went without a hitch. It gave me a chance to enjoy being around Bailey without feeling like I was doing something I wasn’t supposed to.
Being with him and just getting to talk without the added pressure of the past hanging over our heads helped give me some clarity about all the uncertainty I’ve been feeling about the future.
I think the reason being at Duke never felt right is because I always thought Bailey would be there with me.
When B left, he took away one of the only things I knew with abundant certainty, and that was knowing I never had to experience life without him. Except I did.
I don’t want to rely on him for a crutch, but when someone is unequivocally in your corner for your entire life, and then they disappear? It fucked with me and made me question everything.
I still might not know what I want to do with my life, but I think I’m okay with it as long as I have my best friend by my side.
“Oh my god, I love you. I’m so hungry I think I could eat three of these,” Mirabelle says, walking in. I look over her shoulder, waiting for Bailey to pop up behind her, but he doesn’t.
I put two sandwiches on the plate I offer her, still watching the doorway. “Do you guys have a weather radio?” I ask, and Mira makes a face .
“Yes, but I think it might still be in a box in the garage, sorry,” Mirabelle says, and that sounds like the worst place for it to be in the event of an actual weather emergency, but what do I know?
“I guess I’ll see if I can find it,” I say, taking a couple bites of my sandwich before walking out to the garage.
I’m actually a little surprised they still haven’t unpacked their weather radio, but I guess it’s been a relatively calm storm season until now.
Henry must’ve been looking for something in the boxes recently because the ladder is leaning beside the wall of shelves the boxes are stacked on.
The door opens just after I climb up a couple of rungs, and I look over my shoulder to see Bailey standing there, watching me. Javi must’ve found him. His eyes drag up over me, and my stomach flips when his mouth quirks into a smile.
“Are you going to help me, or just stand there and stare at me?” I ask, resting my hands on my hips, which probably isn’t a great idea since I’m on a ladder.
“I’ll help,” he says, and I climb one step higher as Bailey moves closer to hold onto the ladder. “So what exactly are we climbing the ladder for?”
“Well, I guess Mirabelle and Henry never unpacked their weather radio, and I think this is pretty standard for a weather prep kit,” I say, rolling my eyes.
Bailey’s laugh makes me smile as I open a box of what appears to be just gardening gloves. “I think we’re going to be just fine, but it’s probably a safe bet to assume we’ll lose power,” he says while I open the next box, only to find another full box of gloves.
“God, how many pairs of gloves do they need?” I laugh as I shut the box to reach for the next one, but I have to lean further than I thought, causing the ladder to wobble .
“Maybe we can focus on not falling off the ladder?” Bailey asks, his hand resting on the back of my thigh to steady me.
“Doing my best,” I reply, when really, the only thing I can think about is how Bailey’s touching me. “They have two full boxes of gardening gloves?”
“Do they even do their own landscaping?”
No, they don’t—unless you count the handful of wildflower seeds Mirabelle scattered last year by the dock.
“Got it!” I say, sighing in relief when I pull the battery-operated weather radio out of the third box, setting it on the shelf below so I don’t accidentally drop it. My brain feels like it’s only functioning at half capacity with his hand on me.
“What are the odds she has batteries?” Bailey jokes as I climb down, but my foot slips, missing a rung.
A sharp yelp slips from me, but he reacts quickly, catching me by pulling me against him.
It takes a few seconds for my brain to realize that I’m not going to hit the ground, and that Bailey’s face is pressed into my chest.
“Shit,” I swear, and he loosens his grip for me to slide down his front.
My heart is racing in my chest when Bailey’s face is right in front of mine, looking as dazed as I feel.
His hardness presses against my thigh through his shorts, and Bailey’s making no movement to let me go after setting my toes back on the ground.
I don’t want him to.
“Sorry,” he whispers, his fingertips pressing into my lower back from where my shirt has ridden up.
“I don’t mind.” The words escape my mouth before I can process what I’ve said, but I don’t regret them. Bailey’s searing gaze combs over my face, ultimately landing on my mouth. His pupils dilate, and I’m tempted to count the freckles on his cheeks.
If my brain were working, it’d probably try to tell me it’s too soon to want him to kiss me, but my god, I want Bailey to kiss me.
My hand is shaking as I move it to cup his jaw from where my arms are hooked around his neck.
I feel him swallow when I sweep my fingertips over the light stubble growing.
With hurricane prep the last couple of days, it doesn’t shock me he hasn’t taken the time to shave, but his facial hair is light enough it’s not noticeable.
He exhales a shuddering breath, and I wait for B to tell me to stop, but he doesn’t.
I lift my fingers to trace over the puckered scar cutting through his eyebrow, brushing his hair back to follow it up into his hairline.
Bailey’s eyes close, and it feels like my heart is about to burst right through my ribcage.
“Does it hurt?” I ask, hoping for his sake it doesn’t.
He didn’t tell me how he got this.
“No.” Bailey’s voice is a low rasp, causing my skin to pebble with goosebumps. “I’m just not used to being touched like this.”
Shit . I can clearly feel his arousal, but I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. He hasn’t explicitly said he wants this, yet here I am, touching him without permission. Bailey has been the perfect gentleman, following the lines I put around us, and I’m not giving him the same courtesy.
I start to pull away, but he moves faster, covering my hand with his to keep it where it is. “I don’t mind you touching me. I’m all yours.”
Is this the time for truths?
There’s nothing uncertain about the look on his face, and once he seems sure I’m not going to pull away, he holds my cheek in a similar manner. His touch is sure, and Bailey’s other large hand is still splayed across my lower back.
He leans down, resting his forehead against mine.
Bailey smells like oranges and summer days with endless blue skies .
“Sunshine, I don’t want your pity, or to be a rebound while you figure shi—” I cut him off by tilting my chin up to press my mouth to his.
This isn’t pity, and if anyone was the rebound, it was Hunter.
I know it’s awful to think after how long we were together, but he helped me get over the heartbreak Bailey put my seventeen-year-old heart through.
It became more than that after, but I think I understand now that’s what it was at first.
I think I’ve broken him. He’s frozen, and I pull back, whispering against his lips, “Please, shut up and kiss me back.”
This time, Bailey doesn’t have to be told twice. He kisses me deeply, his soft lips taking away any doubt I had he might not return my feelings. His hand slides to tug on my braid while I pull him closer to me.
He feels like fire, threatening to burn me with every touch and kiss. I want to be burned if it means feeling this alive. I gasp when B tugs a little harder on my braid, and he’s quick to slide his tongue into my mouth.
I feel free.
Everything is right and perfect.
My core is pulsing with want as Bailey devours me.
He wraps my hair around his hand, tilting my head backward to press a kiss to the spot right below my ear.
A low moan catches in my throat at the sensation of his stubble against my neck, and I twist my fingers into his hair, giving a tug of my own.
He groans, nipping at my skin, turning my body into a living flame as the sound of desperation pours kerosene on me.
“Don’t stop,” I plead, grabbing his shoulder as he pushes me backward until I can feel the shelf behind me.
“Never letting you go,” he says, and I press my hips forward against his.
“Promise?” I need to hear Bailey say it again.
He lifts his head, letting go of my hair as I swallow back the desperate sound threatening to break free. My body tenses, and I try to pull him back to me, but Bailey keeps his head just out of reach.
We’ve gone from zero to sixty in rapid acceleration. Hitting the breaks is the last thing I want.
“Kait, I’m not stopping,” he says, and I relax enough to listen to what Bailey has to say. “I promise I’m not leaving you. The way I feel for you isn’t something I can survive walking away from a second time. I fucking promise.”
He reaches for my hand, pressing it against his chest, and I smile because Bailey’s heart is an echo of mine.
“You’re not a rebound for me, Walker. How could you be if I’ve never been able to move on from you?”
This time when Bailey kisses me, he takes his time, as if savoring the moment. Like we have all the time in the world, and damn, if the thought doesn’t make me smile.
“Gross! You’re making babies!” Javi yells behind us, and Bailey springs back as I tug my shirt back into place.
“Javi, you can’t sneak up on us like that,” Bailey says, his face bright red as he turns away, adjusting himself. I hold back a laugh because it’s actually better Javi walked in now instead of a few minutes earlier, but I’ll cut him some slack.
“That’s not how you make babies, buddy,” I say, stepping forward to give B a second, and the little boy squints.
“Well, that’s what Henry and Mirabelle told me when I caught them doing the same thing. How are babies made?” he asks, tilting his head.
A cough lodges in my throat, and now I’m out of my depth because I feel like five is a little early for this conversation. I look over my shoulder to Bailey for help, and he’s dragging a hand over his face while he turns our way.
“I think Bailey should tell you,” I say, throwing him under the bus.
His jaw drops, and I shake my head, catching a glimpse of the radio on the shelf that was the real reason I was out here in the first place. “Kait, come on.”
I grab the radio, trying to ignore the desire for Bailey’s hands to touch me everywhere. “I’m going to take this inside and look for batteries like I planned to before you distracted me.”
“Before I distracted you? Let’s not forget who was distracting on who,” Bailey says, arching an eyebrow at me. I look at Javi standing there, his gaze bouncing back and forth between us.
“I guess we’ll have to try again later, so why don’t you tell Javi where babies come from, and I’ll do anything else but that.
” I offer him a cheeky smile as Javi nods, ready for answers I know Bailey doesn’t have to give him.
If I didn’t think he’d try roping me into it, I’d almost consider sticking around to hear what he’ll come up with.
Hopefully something more creative than the birds and the bees.
There’s a funny feeling in my chest, and for a second, I think something’s wrong. But then it dawns on me that I’m just excited. I can make myself happy, but this is the first time in a long time I think I’ve been sure of what I want. There’s a lot to figure out still, but I’m excited.
I’ve missed that feeling.