44. Bailey
CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR
Bailey
NOW
My head feels like I’m swimming underwater, but I want to get the GED done and over with. I’m mad at the younger version of myself for running away in general, but it would’ve been nice if I’d at least waited until after I graduated high school.
These practice tests are boring, and all I can think about is how much I’d rather be with Kaitlyn right now.
Her parents came back a few days ago, and it’s been harder than I anticipated not having her just down the hall anymore.
With Henry at training camp for the next couple of weeks, Mirabelle’s staying here, but she’s taking Javi shopping for everything he could want for kindergarten today.
The first thing they’re doing when Henry’s back is asking Javi if he would like to live with them. If he says yes, they’ll meet with Nora again to file the necessary paperwork to transfer custody of Javi from my parents to them while they continue the adoption process.
“How’s the studying going?” Dad asks, walking into the living room .
“I’m regretting every single decision I’ve ever made,” I reply, and he laughs, shaking his head.
“Yeah, that happens sometimes,” he says, taking a seat by me. “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing?” Dad asks, tapping his fingers on his thigh.
I wish it didn’t make me think of Kiera and how it’s one of the ways she noticed I’m like him.
“I’m okay,” I say, giving him a smile as I close the lid on the laptop. “What’d the contractor say about the siding?”
“He said it was good you removed as much as you did, and knew to put the plastic wrap in before the plywood. He’ll be able to install it once it arrives, but he was impressed when I showed him the receipt for the replacement planks you ordered.
How’d you know the right stuff to buy?” he asks, and I feel the warning creep up my spine that we’re getting too close to my secrets.
“I worked in construction for a little bit,” I admit, twisting my hands together. “I just figured it didn’t make sense to leave it up, letting more moisture get in when I could at least help seal it off, and save you guys from having to replace more than necessary.”
Dad’s honey eyes comb over my face, and he nods, smiling. I can only imagine the questions churning in his head, though. “Thank you. You guys did a great job of prepping everything before the storm. It could’ve been a lot worse.”
“It’s not a big deal, Dad. Just glad everything is okay.”
Why does this feel awkward? Or maybe I’m the one making it awkward.
“You know, I was talking with Mom about how jealous I am of how much time you’ll get to spend together with your photography.
Now that I’m retired, I wanted to know what you’d think about taking a trip with me?
I thought we could hit some of the major surfing spots in the world,” he suggests, and it sounds great, but it’s about to be football season.
Even though Dad’s retired, Hunter and JJ are still playing, and now that they’re both at Beaumont, I can’t imagine they’re going to want to miss many of their games.
I guess if you factor in Henry’s games too, their entire fall is already booked.
His eyebrows knit together, and I realize I’ve been silent for too long. Shit .
“We don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Dad says, and now I’ve ruined the moment.
Why couldn’t I just say yes?
“No, I want to. I just . . .” I trail off, scratching the back of my neck. “What about football? Won’t you be going to a lot of Beaumont’s games and Henry’s?”
What I can only assume is understanding washes over Dad’s face as he blinks. “I mean, yes, I want to go to their games, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to make time for you. You’re also my son, and I love you.”
“Even though I don’t play football?” I ask, feeling my voice wobble at the vulnerability.
“What?” he asks, blinking as his mouth falls open. He rotates to face me, and I take a deep breath. “Bailey, is that one of the reasons you left? You thought I didn’t love you because you didn’t play football?”
“Dad, we don’t have to talk about it,” I say, trying to give him an out.
He puts his hand out, stopping me. “No, I want to. Answer the question, please.”
I swallow the lump in my throat, knowing it’s about time we talk about this.
“It’s not that I didn’t think you loved me, but I felt like I didn’t fit in.
I loved soccer, and I was really good at it, but I was invisible.
I know that Mira, JJ, and Hunter are easier to love, especially after everything I’ve put you all through.
I honestly didn’t think anyone would care if I left. I thought you’d all be happier. ”
“Fuck, Bailey,” he swears, dragging a hand over his jaw.
His eyes are shining, and I feel guilt start to rise in me for opening the door to this conversation.
“I’m sorry. I never meant to make you feel like you didn’t fit in.
Sure, it made me proud to see JJ and Hunter play, but I have always been proud of you for following your heart.
I love all of you because you’re my kids—not because of what sport you do or don’t play. ”
“I’m sorry,” I admit, looking down at my hands.
“There’s nothing for you to apologize for.
I’ve failed you as a parent for ever making you think my love was conditional—” Dad’s voice cracks.
“B, you and your siblings were always my dream. I loved playing, but the only thing I ever wanted for myself was a family. I might’ve failed at literally everything I was supposed to be good at as a parent, but I don’t want you to ever question again how much I love you. ”
Now would be the perfect time to tell him everything, but I can’t.
“I won’t. I love you,” I say, feeling my throat squeeze as I look up at him.
“Thank you for telling me.” Dad takes a deep breath, smiling at me, and I offer him one in return.
“I’d love to take a trip with you,” I say, feeling better about our relationship than I have in a long time.
Sometimes I wish I could sleep in, but there’s nothing better than being the first one on the water. I already went the last two years without dipping even a toe in the ocean, but it feels like every time I step into the water, more of my sins are washed away.
I’m walking down the deck stairs to the sand when a smile forms on my face at the sight of the glow inside the shed. I expected her to join me this morning, but she’s never beaten me here before.
I push the door open, smiling when I see Kaitlyn standing there in her orange bikini, which sends my brain straight to the gutter and lights my blood on fire.
She fell asleep on the phone last night while telling me about the artist she met at the gallery yesterday. I thought it was adorable when Kaitlyn started snoring before I hung up.
“You got an early start today,” I say, announcing myself. She turns around, her braid whipping behind her, and all I can think about is how much I like pulling on it.
I want her all the time, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about Kaitlyn.
“I wanted to surprise you,” she says, and I can’t think of a better one.
“Good morning,” I say, moving to close the distance between us. Kaitlyn hums when I lean in to kiss her, rising up on her toes to meet me.
I like how tall she is.
“Good, now that you’re awake,” she says, resting her hand on my chest.
Just because she’s here, doesn’t mean something is going to happen between us, I remind myself, taking a step back. My cock is stiff, causing my board shorts to tent in the front.
Kaitlyn doesn’t miss it, her mouth curving into a smile. She pulls her braid over her shoulder, and her fingers dance across her bare skin, twisting the delicate gold necklaces layered around her neck.
“Sorry,” I say, feeling myself get flustered. “It’ll go away in a minute.”
“Stop apologizing, and let me help.” She reaches to pull me back to her.
It might make me a selfish fucker, but I’ll make it up to Kait later.
“I need to kiss you,” I blurt out, leaning down to press my lips to hers. Our kiss is messy as she undoes the tie at the front of my shorts, reaching down the elastic band to wrap her hand around my dick.
I move to cup her breast, feeling how hard her nipple is through her swimsuit. God, it feels surreal to be touching her like this while she’s touching me.
My breathing is ragged as my cock throbs when she drags her thumb over the head, causing me to bite down on her bottom lip from the sensitivity. “Sorry,” I mumble, pushing my fingers underneath the fabric of her swimsuit. I want to see her.
“Stop saying sorry.” Kaitlyn moves to press a kiss to my jaw as she does it again.
“Don’t be a brat.” I choke on a laugh as I pinch her nipple in response.
She laughs, causing me to smile. Kait makes it so easy to want this with her. “Tell me what you want.” She strokes me slowly. “It’s not a trick question,” Kaitlyn teases, and honestly, I just want her to be mine.
“Your mouth. I want you to take my dick out and suck it like a good girl,” I say, trying to keep from coming in my pants like a fucking teenager when the leggy brunette drops down to her knees in front of me.
I got a taste of what it was like to have her hot mouth around me, and it’s all I’ve been able to think about since.
“I like it when you tell me what you want instead of making me guess,” she says, smiling up at me as Kaitlyn pulls my board shorts down.
“I like it too,” I admit, loving the idea of taking control in this.
“You’re so hard.” Kaitlyn winks before wrapping her pretty lips around the tip.
I clench my hands, which have fallen to my sides, trying to focus on my breathing and the way she swirls her tongue. “Fuck, sunshine,” I moan when she takes me a little deeper. I can’t look away from Kaitlyn.
She lifts a hand from my thigh after pulling away completely, then grabs my hand to place it on the back of her head. “Tell me what you want,” Kait repeats, playing my body like an instrument.