47. Kaitlyn
CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN
Kaitlyn
NOW
I’ve been awake for what feels like hours, listening to the steady rhythm of Bailey’s heart beating in his chest.
The hardest part about yesterday wasn’t learning what he did to survive, but seeing how quickly he lost faith in himself. It broke my heart into tiny pieces realizing what the weight of this secret did to him.
I had a feeling there were still things B was holding back from me, but I wish he’d had the chance to share them on his own timeline instead of having that choice taken away.
I wish I’d been able to tell him in a happier moment how in love with him I am, but I think it was really important for Bailey to hear it.
Fuck, I can’t believe he thought I’d break up with him over this?
Bailey stirs underneath me, his arms holding me tighter for a moment before he relaxes again.
I hate Kiera for doing this to him. I get the whole woman-scorned act after hearing how Sebastian gave her the same ring he proposed to Thalia with, but to get revenge twenty-five years later by spilling the secrets of their youngest kid? It’s unhinged.
We’ll probably never know why she really did it, but I can’t think of a reason good enough to justify the interview she gave.
Unfortunately, the Walkers’ lawyer said that Kiera used enough of the truth that she couldn’t be sued for defamation of character, even if what she did was cruel.
They did file a cease and desist order against Kiera and the network that aired the interview, because an argument could be made that Kiera’s actions fell under threatening behavior.
The damage was already done, just like when Henry and Mirabelle’s audio was leaked, and the second an article gets taken down, three more pop up to replace it.
“Kait? You awake?” Bailey’s voice rumbles, still laced with sleep as he moves again underneath me.
“Yeah,” I whisper, not ready to get up for the day.
“G’morning,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.
“Good morning.”
I wonder if he knows there’s still plastic stars stuck to the ceiling. I remember when we were kids, and I dreamed of being a mermaid while Bailey wanted to be an astronaut.
“How long have you been up?” he asks, turning to face me, and I lift my head to rest it on the pillow.
“I’m not sure,” I admit, lifting my hand to cup his cheek.
If I had my things here, I would’ve gotten up to paint the sun glinting off the water yesterday before everything changed. I can already see in my mind how I’d mix the shades of blue, green, and white together to create the perfect, happy moment.
Bailey lifts his hand to rest it on top of mine, but all I can see are the shadows of his face. I brush my fingers over the stubble. “ You okay?”
“I should be asking you that,” I whisper, counting in my head where I know the seventeen freckles that dot his cheeks and nose are.
“But I asked first.”
“I’m sad, but I’m okay. I don’t want how I’m feeling to take away from what you’re going through,” I admit, and Bailey moves my hand to hold it to his chest, where my head rested for most of the night.
“It’s not taking anything away from me. Will you tell me why you’re sad, sunshine?” he asks, and I don’t want to make him uncomfortable. “Please?”
I flatten my hand against his chest, feeling how real and warm he is underneath my palm and fingertips.
“I’m afraid to ever make you feel like you’re doing something you don’t want to. I’m sad because I don’t know if I already have, but I think you’re too nice to say anything.”
“Never,” Bailey answers without hesitation. “I meant it when I said I’m yours. Everything we’ve done, I’ve wanted.”
“Promise?” I ask, feeling guilty that I’m making him comfort me right now.
“I promise I didn’t feel pressured, but if it makes you feel better, we can have a safe word for if either of us ever want to stop and check in with the other?”
I nod, shifting forward to tangle my legs with his. “I’d really like that.”
“We can say . . . carrot?” Bailey suggests, chuckling a bit. “I think it’s easy to say if we need to remember it, and silly enough that we’ll know to stop immediately.”
I feel the weight in my chest loosen a bit because it does make me feel a lot better. “And you swear you’ll use it if you’re uncomfortable?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die.”
“I love you,” I say, smiling when I feel his heart beat faster underneath my hand .
“I love you more,” he says, and we lie there, tangled up in each other as we hide from the world.
“Luna, did you know mermaids exist?” Javi asks, failing in his attempt to whisper.
She feigns a gasp, pretending to be surprised. “I didn’t. Have you seen one?”
“No, but that’s because I haven’t been able to go swimming yet. Mom, oh shit, um, Mira says that we can look for mermaids when the doctor says I can,” Javi says, and I clap my hand over my mouth to keep my gasp from escaping. Did he really just call her that?
Bailey chokes on the cereal he’s chewing, and Javi turns to look for Mirabelle, a shy smile on his face.
“Sorry, Mira, I called you Mom,” he repeats, laughing a little to himself.
Her mouth is hanging open in surprise, and I nudge her under the counter with my knee. She coughs, blinking as obvious tears pool in her eyes. “That’s okay, buddy,” Mirabelle says, and Javi squints.
“Are you crying? Fuck,” he says, and this time, I’m holding back a laugh. Luna coughs, turning away, and I can’t wait to see how this plays out.
“I’m more worried you said fuck and shit, so maybe we don’t say those again,” Mirabelle says, and Javi tilts his head.
“Technically, he used them the right way,” Luna adds, and I turn to hide my face in Bailey’s shoulder.
“Maybe you shouldn’t have said them again,” Bailey adds, stifling his own laughter.
“But JJ says them all the time,” Javi says, and I can’t help it. I turn into a giggling mess, and then everyone else is joining me as poor Mirabelle tries to keep it together .
“Sweetie, he shouldn’t say them either.”
“Got it. I won’t say fuck or shit again,” he says, and I lose it completely.
The door from the garage opens a minute later, and Thalia and Sebastian walk in with JJ and Hunter behind them.
“Wait, what’d we miss?” JJ asks, and Bailey laughs harder.
“I’m gonna kill you,” Mira chokes out, holding her side as she laughs. “Shit, I’m gonna pee my pants. I’ll kill you after,” she says, hobbling down the hall to where the closest bathroom is.
“We’re not supposed to say fuck or shit!” Javi calls after her, and JJ realizes exactly why his sister’s threatening him.
Hunter chuckles as Thalia sighs. “Well, seems like we came back just in time,” she says, and I wipe the tears streaming from the corners of my eyes. Thalia surveys the room, and when she spots Bailey, her shoulders relax.
“Guess so,” he says next to me.
JJ drags a hand over his face, but he freezes when he sees Luna standing there. “Who are you?” he asks, and Sebastian pinches the bridge of his nose.
“I know we taught you better manners than that,” he says, and I look at Hunter.
It hurts a little to know I don’t know much about his new life in California, but I’m glad to see their road trip seemed to fix the cracks in his relationship with JJ.
It’s not my place anymore, but I’m proud of him for coming back with JJ to be here for Bailey.
“I’m Luna. Who are you?” she asks, holding her own.
Bailey was right—I do like her.
“JJ,” he answers, moving on to come around the kitchen to hug Bailey. “You doing okay?” I hear him ask, and Hunter makes eye contact with me.
I’m not sure when things will ever go back to normal with us, but I hope they do someday. Today isn’t that day, though.
“I’ll get there,” Bailey answers, clearing his throat just as Mirabelle walks in the room, glaring at JJ.
“Um, so since everyone is in the same room, it might just be better to say it once than to repeat it to everyone individually. I’m not really okay, but I want to be.
It’s going to take time, and probably some therapy, but I promise I’ll talk to the therapist this time,” he says, trying to make a joke as his cheeks flush.
“Thanks for coming home, guys. I know how crazy things probably are for you, but I appreciate it.”
“Of course we showed up for you. It’s what we do,” Hunter says, tugging a hand through his blond hair, and Bailey smiles.
“You’re right, it is.”
Thalia looks so proud as she leans into Sebastian, and I’m sure it’s a wonderful feeling to see all their kids come together.
“Just do me a favor, and please don’t treat me like I’m made of glass?” Bailey asks, looking around the room, making eye contact with everyone, including me. I reach to squeeze his hand, and he gives me a glimpse of the sun when he smiles at me.
“We’ll do our best,” Thalia says, and JJ pats him on the back.
“Welcome to the club. They suck at treating you normal, but everyone means well. You get used to it after a while,” he says, and Hunter shakes his head.
“I want you to replay that in your head when you think about why I transferred, JJ,” Hunter says, and JJ holds his hand up, blocking him.
“No. We’re not getting into that today. Today is about Bailey, so why don’t we ask what he wants?”
Bailey knocks his leg against mine under the counter, and I already know what he’s going to say before he says it. “I want everyone to go surfing and play mermaids.”
“Wait, but I can’t yet,” Javi adds, frowning.
“We’ll build the coolest sandcastle with Luna, and maybe she’ll let us make her a tail out of sand,” Mirabelle says, and Luna looks like she’s been told they’re going to make her eat sand instead.
An hour later, we’re all out on the water, minus our three shore bound friends.
With a gentle breeze kissing my cheeks, I look around at all the Walkers, and I smile, seeing how they showed up for Bailey when he needed them the most.