Chapter 54 - Verity
Verity
It felt like a lifetime ago when I’d woken up on the Kelly private jet with a headache and a collection of lovely bruises from Anton.
This time around, I had more bruises. Lots of bruises. But at least I wasn’t suffering the ill effects of a sedative. Although part of me wished I was out of it so I didn’t have to face my brooding demons.
Ronan had got into an argument with the flight attendant shortly after boarding, when she’d insisted that I needed to sit in a separate seat for take-off. He’d not been happy.
“I have a flying phobia and without Pixie, I might lose my shit. Nobody wants that to happen.”
Conal had rolled his eyes and poured a massive drink while I tried not to feel hurt Declan had opted to stay in Sicily.
He’d reinstated his barriers all over again. Freezing me out.
“How are you doing, sweetheart?” Conal asked as he handed me a hot coffee with cream and extra sugar. I preferred my coffee black and extra strong, but I wasn’t averse to cream and sugar. After the shit I’d been through, I figured I deserved a treat.
Hearing the concern in Conal’s voice almost broke me. Seeing the way he looked at me, like I’d papered over the cracks in my shell with a brittle smile, told me he believed I’d fallen apart all over again.
I wasn’t sure how I felt about that.
I didn’t need him to feel sorry for me.
Or try to fix me.
That wasn’t the relationship either of us deserved.
And as for Ronan, well, it had become very clear to me that Ronan Kelly was not used to living without female attention. Had he ever been single?
The man had codependent tattooed on his stupidly handsome forehead.
I took the coffee and moved across the aisle to a seat by the window, ignoring Ronan’s protests.
“I’m fine, thank you. Just tired and also--” I pointed at my grubby clothes.
“Filthy.” The adrenaline of being chased through the forest, followed by my desperate battle to stay alive while Marku held a gun to my head, had long since faded.
It was a miracle I hadn’t lost my shit, but strangely, the experience had rewired my fucked-up brain.
I felt less nihilistic about my future. It would be a stretch to say my mental health issues had miraculously vanished, but I was no longer willing to let life’s fuckwits push me around.
Whatever the future held, it was time I took back control.
“There are some clean clothes in the master bedroom. We won’t arrive for several hours, so take a shower and change, sweetheart.”
My mind drifted back to Declan. He’d barely looked at me once we arrived back at the airport. It was pretty clear the man had intimacy issues. And since I had my own issues to manage, it was better if we drew a line under whatever had happened between us.
I hoped one day he’d decide he wanted me, but I refused to hang around waiting for him to pull his head from his ass.
“Need some company?” Ronan grinned at me hopefully from across the aisle, but I shook my head.
His face fell in disappointment and my heart twinged, but I steeled my resolve.
The only way to figure out if he was serious about me was to make him work for it.
That man had never had to work for a woman’s attention in his life.
“Nope, I’m good.” I picked up my coffee and headed toward the master suite at the back of the plane, making sure the lock engaged behind me so nobody, aka Ronan, got any ideas.
A loud banging on the bedroom door pulled me from a heavy sleep.
“Verity, wake up. We’re making our final approach. It’s time to get strapped in.”
Swallowing a curse, I sat up and rubbed my eyes.
Thank God I’d pulled some clean clothes on after showering.
I had found a closet full of joggers and loose tees, all men’s sizes.
Nothing I wore fitted me, and I probably looked like shit, but never mind.
There wasn’t time to worry about my appearance if we were landing soon.
Once we arrived, Thea and her guys would meet us and take me back to her place. No doubt she’d have a million questions.
When I unlocked the door, Ronan stood waiting with a scowl on his face.
“You shouldn’t have locked the door!” he grumbled.
“I thought you’d have a key.” I fought back a smile at his almost feral expression. The man’s abandonment issues were in full swing.
“There is, but Conal confiscated it so I wouldn’t disturb you.”
Before he could carry on bitching, the flight attendant appeared and said if we didn’t take our seats, she’d lose her job. Ronan hovered as I hurried to a spare seat, but I ignored him. Conal winked when I caught his eye, but I gave him a weak smile and turned to stare out of the window.
The plane banked to the right. Far below, the ocean twinkled as we approached the US east coast. It had been months since I spent time here. Despite my chaotic emotions, I was looking forward to seeing the kids. And my sister, although I wasn’t looking forward to being interrogated.
I refused to think about saying goodbye to the guys. They were no longer my priority. It was time to put my own needs first.
“Pixie, we need to talk.” My resolve wobbled when Ronan took my hand, but I forced myself to step back. Thea had messaged Conal to say she was waiting through the next set of doors, so I needed to get my shit together and leave. Only I was making a half-assed job of it.
“Ronan,” I hedged as Conal joined us, a small bag slung over his shoulder. Two identical sets of gray eyes met mine. One hopeful and the other wary. Conal was way more intuitive than his twin, and I knew he’d picked up on the distance I’d enforced since Sicily.
The words I needed to say tumbled from my lips in a rush.
“I need some space.”
“Space? Why would you want that? I already told you the Instagram chick thing was bullshit. You’re the only woman for me, Pixie girl.” He flashed a megawatt smile at me, but I steeled my resolve, refusing to fall for his charm.
“I need space to figure out my next steps and staying in your orbit just fucks with my head,” I admitted while focusing on his chest rather than the whipped puppy expression on his face.
Conal looked surprised but nodded in understanding.
“Take all the time you need, sweetheart,” he said. “We’re here for you when you’re ready.”
“I’m going to look for a therapist,” I told him. “Work through some of my trauma.”
“But Pixie, I love you! You can’t leave me again!” Ronan looked distraught, like I’d stabbed him in the chest while laughing, but it was the right thing to do. I couldn’t love anyone until I’d learned to love myself first. And for that to happen, I needed to unpick my daddy issues.
Conal’s arms tightened around me. I closed my eyes and inhaled his scent, soaking up his strength and steadfastness. Conal was my rock. The one who propped me up when I needed support. But while I loved how he never judged me, I knew we’d fallen into a toxic pattern of him trying to fix me.
That was not the basis for a healthy relationship.
“I love you, sweetheart. Here’s a new phone if you want to talk.” He handed me a silver iPhone and dropped a kiss on my forehead before stepping back. My eyes pricked with tears, but I refused to give into the urge to cry. This wasn’t goodbye. Not forever, at least.
“I’ll be in touch,” I promised, shoving the phone in my pocket.
Ronan grabbed me, squeezing me so tight I could barely breathe.
“I mean it, Pixie. I fucking love you. If you need space, I’ll give you space, but not indefinitely, you hear me?” He loosened his grip and pushed me away while still cupping my face. “You can run, Pixie, but I’ll always find you. You and me are end-game. Like Romeo and Juliet.”
A small chuckle escaped. “You know they both die, right? And are also teenagers.”
He frowned. “OK, so that’s a shit example. What about the couple in that sappy movie about something wrong with the stars?”
“The Fault In Our Stars?” Conal suggested with a smirk.
“Yeah, I think so.”
“Um, the guy dies in that one,” I pointed out.
Ronan huffed with frustration. “So we’ll write our own love story!”
“I have to go, Ronan. Thea’s waiting.” He reluctantly released me, taking a small step back.
“Ver! What the actual fuck is taking so long? The kids are driving me nuts!”
My sister stormed through the doors, ignoring the angry squawks from an enraged security guard
“Miss! You can’t be in here!”
“Fuck off and die!” She stuck her middle finger up at him.
“I was on my way,” I laughed as she pulled me in for a hug. “Now you’ve pissed that man off. He might call ICE and have me arrested.”
“He can fucking try,” she growled. “I’ll have the fucker shot if he does. Kyril’s waiting on the other side of that door. Trust me when I say he’s in a foul mood. Ferg’s run off twice already and Kyril’s about ready to sign him up for military camp.”
“Jesus, Thea, he’s, like, two!”
She shrugged. “I pointed that out to the grumpy bastard, but he said the kid needs discipline and at his age, his father had already sent him to training camps in Siberia.” She rolled her eyes, making it clear she thought Kyril was full of shit.
“We better go save Ferg before Kyril does anything drastic.”
“Thanks for looking after my baby sister, boys,” she called over my shoulder. I tensed when I thought about what she’d do if she knew the truth.
Ronan coughed out a laugh before smirking at me. From the way his eyes heated, he recalled how well he’d looked after me.
“Dec said he’d add this latest ‘favor’ to your tally, Thea.”
My sister snorted. “Milo said y’all needed to check your emails. Something about an O’Rourke and your sister.”
Sister? What the fuck was that about? I wanted to ask, but Thea hustled me toward the door.
“Ciao, bitches!” She waved at the twins as she tugged me into the arrivals area. My heart cracked as I left my guys staring after me with sad expressions on their handsome faces, but as I reminded myself, it was for the best.
Until I healed, we didn’t stand a chance of building a future together.