CHAPTER TWELVE
The whole day felt like some kind of nightmare.
I felt like I was wandering through some alternate reality as I paced the hospital corridor, waiting for news. My feet dragged, and my limbs felt like lead, but I was too wired to sit anymore. I had spent the first hour sitting with Asher as the doctors patched him up. The head wound had required some attention, but once the skin wounds had been cleaned, they had begun to heal quickly.
The constant hum of noise kept my nerves on edge, though I thought silence would have been worse. The thrum of activity echoed through the hallway, a cacophony of beeping machines and the constant chatter of medical staff. I contemplated going to find something to eat, but I felt nauseous. It was the third time this week, and I hoped I wasn’t coming down with anything—that was all I fucking needed. I sipped water instead.
Asher and I had quickly fallen into our own silence as we waited for news on how Nova was doing, but it felt like there were so many words inside both of us that needed to be said. Not now though. Not yet.
I looked up, and a small amount of relief bloomed as my brother walked through the main entrance to the hospital. Clad in a black suit with a black shirt, he looked more like a grim reaper than a wine merchant, but I was glad to see him.
To my surprise, he reached out and put his hand on my shoulder, squeezing gently. His dark eyes met mine, and I could feel the pain inside him—the same as my own. We’d grown apart over the years, so it seemed crazy that something as horrific as this would be what had brought us closer together—this and Nova. She tied us together, brother mates, and we’d never be torn apart again with her in our lives. I just wished Asher could see that and realise he should be a part of it.
“How is he?” Lucas asked.
“He’s okay. Head wound. They are keeping an eye on him.”
Lucas nodded. “And her?”
“In surgery.” I couldn’t tell him anything else, and it hurt like hell.
I turned and led him back towards Asher’s room. I gestured for him to go in, not missing his clenched jaw as he entered and saw our little brother wired up.
“Ash,” he said, crossing the room and kneeling down next to the bed. He bowed his head, not looking at Asher.
“Lucas, what are you doing?”
“I was a fucking dick to you,” he murmured without raising his head.
“Is this guilt?” Asher looked up at me in surprise, and I raised my eyebrows and shrugged. Asher gave a quiet laugh. “You’re always a dick, Luc. Don’t worry about it. I’m used to it, but yeah, you’re a dick.”
He grinned as Lucas raised his head. I shook my head. Sometimes, Asher was too damn good for the two of us. I realised that if Nova came through this, I needed to make him see how much she needed him in this family, how much we all needed him. The three of us had our own darkness, but Asher was the light that chased the shadows away. I swallowed the lump in my throat and sat down in a chair by the bed as Lucas took the other.
“What happened?” he asked Asher.
Asher shook his head. “I’m not sure. We were going home. Nova wasn’t feeling well, sick or something. Then this truck just pulled out of one of the turns, but fast, like a fucking bat out of hell. It hit us side-on. Nova’s side. The truck was forced off, and we rolled down to the rocks.”
Lucas looked at me, his dark eyes glittering. “Who was it?” he asked, the menace in his voice utterly chilling.
I didn’t think badly of him for it. I felt that same hatred towards the driver of that truck as he did, and I would be more than happy to point Lucas at them and let him go.
“We don’t know,” I said, my voice as hard as his. “They drove off before we got there, but we’re searching.”
“There can’t be that many black trucks on the island,” Asher argued. “And the front end must have sustained some damage. He hit us pretty hard.”
“You didn’t see the driver?” Lucas asked.
Asher shook his head. “Happened too fast.”
We fell into silence, each of us lost in our own thoughts. After what seemed like an age, the door to the hospital room opened, and the doctor overseeing Nova’s care stepped through. Lucas and I got to our feet, and Asher sat bolt upright in bed, wincing at the sudden movement.
“What news?” I asked, barely able to get the words out.
The doctor smiled. “Nova had a head injury, as well as some minor internal bleeding. We were able to stabilise her and deal with the bleeding in surgery. She’s still in critical condition, but I’m optimistic she will make a full recovery.”
I fell back into my chair, fighting the extremely unmanly urge to burst into tears of relief. Asher dropped back against his pillows, smiling, and Lucas closed his eyes.
“I’m also very happy to say that the tests have come back, and the baby appears to be perfectly healthy. We’ll keep her in, obviously, for her own recovery, and keep a close eye on the pregnancy, as sometimes things like this can lead to early delivery, but scans have come back with nothing to worry about so far. Would you like to see her now? It might be a little while until she comes around, but she might like you to be there when she does.”
I stared at the doctor, having registered very little of what he was saying after the word baby.
“Mr Scott, is everything okay?”
I shook my head, still staring at him.
“Baby?” Lucas asked behind me, his voice thick with disbelief. “Did you say baby?”
“Nova’s pregnant?” Asher chimed in.
The doctor looked at us all. “You didn’t know? Yes, she’s about four and a half months along, we think, by the measurements.” He looked back at me. “I’m sorry, I thought you would have known.”
“It’s fine,” I told him. “It’s just a surprise. Can we see her?”
He nodded, and Lucas and I followed him out of the room and along the corridor to Nova’s room. My mind was whirling. Pregnant. I was going to be a father. No. No, because four and a half months… She was already pregnant when she got here, when she marked me, and when she made love to me. Already pregnant. A baby. She would be having a baby, but not my baby or Lucas’s. I glanced at him as the doctor stopped outside the room, but he was a blank slate, his dark eyes revealing nothing about what he was thinking.
“She’s in here. Now, when she wakes up, let someone know, and take it easy. She’s been through a hell of a lot.”
I nodded and reached for the door handle, my stomach clenching and my heart racing. The doctor left, and I stood there with my hand on the handle for a few moments more, frozen. Lucas reached out and, with his hand on mine, twisted the handle, opening the door.
I followed him inside, still feeling as though I was the one who was hit by the truck. He stopped dead in front of me, and I walked straight into him. I realised why as I took in the sight of Nova lying unconscious in her bed. She was hooked up to a myriad of machines, the steady hum of their rhythm filling the room. The thin sheets and blankets of the hospital bed clung to her slight form, and now I could see the obvious swell of her stomach. I had simply thought she’d been filling out after finally getting regular meals and our propensity for takeaway pizza.
“She looks so small,” Lucas muttered.
I swallowed. “Yeah, she does. Makes you wonder how she can be so fucking strong.”
“Well, I think we know that now,” Lucas replied. “She wasn’t just being strong for her.”
“What are we going to do?” I asked him.
He shook his head. “This is all you. I can’t be a father, Maverick. I am not exactly suited for that role.”
I looked at him. His lips were pressed tightly together, his expression dark.
“You’re her mate,” I reminded him. “You can’t just refuse.”
“I can leave,” he answered flatly. “I can leave the island. She lied to us, Maverick. She lied.” He turned and walked out of the room, closing the door behind him, leaving me alone with her.
I moved closer to the bed, then reached for the chair, pulling it up so I could sit down and take her hand in mine. I stroked my fingertips over her skin, marvelling again at how soft she felt. Lucas was right, she’d lied, or at least she’d concealed it, but I couldn’t understand why. I should be angry with her, but somehow, I couldn’t be. I’d come so close to losing her that this didn’t matter.
I squeezed her hand gently. I couldn’t overthink this. This wasn’t something you could deal with logically, not really. A child was too important to be logical about. She’d felt so distant the last few weeks. We’d got to know her better, and I knew her likes and dislikes. I knew what she liked on her pizza, and how to make the disgustingly sweet concoction she called coffee, and that she liked to sleep on her right side, curled up. I also knew how to make her scream my name and beg me for more. Looking back, however, I realised something had been missing the whole time. She’d never completely given herself up to me or to Lucas. There had always been something between us. Now it was out in the open, and I just hoped we could work through it. I knew now without certainty that I couldn’t lose her.
I sat there for ages, waiting for Nova to wake up or for Lucas to come back. He didn’t, but eventually, I saw the flutter of her dark lashes against her pale skin, and I felt a wave of relief.
“Maverick,” she murmured, her voice weak but full of emotion.
“Hey,” I said, unable to keep my voice from trembling as emotion overwhelmed me.
“You’re here,” Nova rasped before sighing and closing her eyes.
“I’m here, as is Asher, and Lucas was here too.”
“Asher... Asher!” Her eyes flew open. “The truck... Is he—”
“He’s absolutely fine,” I told her. “Bump to the head, nothing serious. It’s you whom we’ve been worried about.”
“Me?” She glanced around and saw the wires and tubes she was hooked up to. Her eyes widened in panic, and her hand went to her belly. Her mouth fell open as she turned to me, and there was real fear in her eyes. I laid my hand over hers, feeling the rise of her body, and smiled.
“The baby is fine too. The doctor says they’ll keep an eye on both of you, but there is every indication that the baby is completely healthy.”
She closed her eyes, and tears ran down her face. “You know.”
“We know,” I confirmed softly. “The doctor wanted us to know you were both okay.”
She opened her eyes. The fear lessened, but it wasn’t gone, and my heart ached for her.
“It’s not what you think. I’m so sorry, but...”
“It’s not mine or Lucas’s,” I finished for her.
She shook her head.
“Yeah, we already worked that out, sweetness. Your mate’s?”
She nodded.
I took a deep breath. “Well, it’s not quite how I’d hoped, and it’s a damn sight quicker than I’d thought.”
“I’ll pack when they release me, it’s okay,” she murmured. “I’ll get out of your life. You’ll never have to see me again.”
I frowned. “What are you talking about?”
“Leaving Desolation as soon as they release me.” The tears continued to run down her face, and she pushed them away, her hand struggling with the effort. I reached for a tissue from the box on the nightstand and dabbed gently at her face.
“Nova, I was a complete dickhead to you when you first arrived. There were reasons, but they are excuses, and none of them were good enough for the way I treated you. I want to spend my life making it up to you, but if you want to leave, if you really believe I wouldn’t be a good father to your baby, and that I couldn’t keep you both safe and loved, then that’s your choice. I won’t keep you here against your will if you want to leave.”
My heart broke as I said the words, and I firmly believed she would choose to go. I had practically forced her into mating me and Lucas, and almost losing her had shown me how much I loved her. I could no longer force her into being with me. My own mother had chosen to follow my father into death rather than stay with us, and although I had long forgiven her, I wanted Nova to have as much happiness as she could. If that meant choosing life with her child away from us, then so be it.
She stared at me, her golden eyes wide. “I don’t want to leave, Maverick,” she whispered.
My heart jumped. “You don’t?”
“Don’t you want me to go? I lied to you, over and over, I concealed things... Important things...”
I took her hand again, twisting my fingers through hers. “Nova, I had everything planned in my life, and my brother walked out, throwing my plans into chaos. I just resigned myself to being thoroughly miserable for the rest of my life, and had everything neat and tidy again, and then you came into my world and turned everything upside down. I blamed you for everything, even my brother I suppose. I couldn’t take it out on him, so I took it out on you. I can’t blame you for not trusting me with something this important. I can’t blame you for lying at first, and then... I’m thinking the lie got too big?”
She nodded. “I couldn’t tell you. The timing was always wrong, and I was afraid, and then... then we were together and it was just... I didn’t want it to end.” The tears began again, and I realised she’d been holding them back for a very long time.
“Nova, I want you to stay. Did you need me to say it? I love you more than life. I want you to stay, and I want to be a father to your baby, if you think I deserve that honour.”
She cried harder. “Maverick, don’t.”
“Don’t what?” I said, reaching out to stroke her hair.
“Don’t be so sweet, it just makes it harder.”
“I don’t understand, Nova. Isn’t this what you want?”
“More than anything.” She looked up at me, and the pain in her eyes made my heart ache. “But there are more secrets, and you’ll hate me when I’m done telling you, so don’t promise me anything. I can’t bear it.”
“I could never hate you, Nova. I love you. You can tell me anything. And your baby? It’s part of you, and that makes it family to us without you having to tell us anything or do anything.”
She pulled her hand away from me, and it hurt to see her close off like that. It was like shutters came down over her eyes. “Can you get the others? We need to talk, and it needs to be all of you.”
I nodded, a cold feeling settling in my heart. “I can do that, but for now, you need to rest. I was told to find someone when you woke up. They’ll need to check you over, and I’ll bring the guys back later, okay?”
She nodded, settling back against the pillow, but the resigned look on her face worried me. I couldn’t think of anything she could keep from me that could be bigger than her pregnancy. I walked out of her room, more confused than I had been when I walked in.