25. Fiona
Chapter Twenty-Five
FIONA
I plaster on a brave face as I head downstairs for breakfast early the next morning. I have no idea if Riley or Ciara have been brought up to date with the latest news on Lorcan, but just in case they haven’t, I don’t want to be the one to put a damper on things.
I find Ciara in the kitchen attempting to clean Nico’s face with a wet wipe while he screams at the top of his lungs. Addison is buckled into her highchair, and the moment she sees that her mom is occupied, she decides to throw her entire bowl of oatmeal on the floor.
“Addison, no!” Ciara cries, startling Addison.
For a second, she’s quiet, and then she’s throwing her head back and screaming at the top of her lungs.
“Crap, Addie, I’m sorry. Mommy didn’t mean to yell.”
I hurry over to help deal with Addison. “I’ve got it.”
Ciara sighs, rubbing at her eyes. “Thanks. The twins were both up all night, teething, and Ronan had to run to take a call, and Elena is helping with Aubrey and…”
I can hear the emotion in her voice, and I quickly stop what I’m doing and pull her into a hug. “You’re doing great.”
“It doesn’t feel like it,” she mumbles.
“That’s because you’re tired. Why don’t I help you get the twins down for their morning nap, and I’ll take the baby monitor while you have a bath?”
“That sounds like heaven, but there’s so much to do.”
I force a smile. “It’s nothing that can’t wait an hour or two. So, come on, team clean up the twins is officially on.”
Between the two of us, it takes almost thirty minutes to get Addison and Nico cleaned up and down for their nap.
Before Ciara can even think about getting caught up in anything that doesn’t involve her taking a break, I march her into the ensuite bathroom attached to her room and start running a bath.
I snatch up the baby monitor from the nightstand. “I don’t want to hear or see you for at least an hour, got it?”
“But—”
I stare hard at her. “I will lock you in that bathroom if I have to.”
Ciara laughs. “All right, all right! I’m going.” A smile breaks out across her face. “Thanks for doing this, Fiona. I really appreciate it.”
“That’s what friends are for.”
I quickly check on the twins to make sure they’re asleep before heading back downstairs and peering around the door to the living room.
Scout is sitting on the floor, surrounded by his mountain of toy cars, chatting away to Riley who is pacing around the room, trying to get Aubrey to settle.
I catch her eye and offer her a smile.
“Everything okay?” I mouth, and she nods, though the dark circles under her eyes tell me she got just as much sleep as Ciara last night.
Not wanting to interrupt, I sneak back across the foyer but stop short when I notice my own reflection in the mirror. My skin is pale, and my eyes are bloodshot and puffy.
At least Ciara and Riley have the excuse of crying babies for their dark circles. I just have a blood-thirsty mafia don keeping me up all night.
I pad into the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee and find one already made.
“I thought you might need a pick-me-up.”
I spin around to find Cormac getting up from the kitchen table and stalking toward me.
He’s already dressed in a fresh shirt and slacks, his hair still a little damp from the shower.
I take a second to admire how good he looks, and then my cheeks heat as I glance down at my own attire of sweatpants and a t-shirt.
As if reading my thoughts, Cormac wraps his arms around me and gives me a kiss that leaves me feeling breathless. “Have I told you how beautiful you look?”
“Don’t mock me,” I mutter, and Cormac’s shoulders shake with silent laughter.
He nips at my ear. “I wouldn’t dare. Now, let me get my girl some coffee.”
While Cormac is occupied, I take my phone out of my pocket and quickly put it on charge and lean against the counter, taking a moment to appreciate the silence.
That is, until my phone starts buzzing.
I quickly snatch it up, wondering if it’s Zoe, but when I glance at the screen, I freeze.
Cormac senses my change in mood. “Everything okay?”
“It’s Lorcan.”
Cormac stiffens before setting down the coffee pot. “I wasn’t expecting him to reach out so soon.”
“Me neither. What should I do?”
“Answer it, but make sure to keep your voice calm. We don’t want him getting suspicious.”
That’s easier said than done.
My hands are shaking so much that it takes me a few attempts to put the call on speaker.
“Hello?”
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?” Lorcan snarls.
I flinch at the venom in his tone.
Cormac is at my side in an instant, wrapping an arm around my waist to hold me steady, though his free hand grips the edge of the counter.
One glance at his face tells me he’s seconds away from exploding.
“I-I’m doing exactly what you asked.” I try my best to sound calm, but my voice cracks. “Lorcan, you can’t just keep calling me like this. It will get suspicious—”
“You don’t get to choose when I call you. I know what you’re doing, Fiona, and mark my words, you’re going to pay for it.”
“I’m not… I don’t understand. What are you talking about? I’m following your instructions exactly,” I say, feeling panicked.
I glance at Cormac again to see him frowning.
He must be thinking the same thing as me. What does Lorcan know?
There’s a pause, and then Lorcan speaks again, though his words are slower and more measured. “Then explain why Cormac is with you every time I try to speak to you. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”
I freeze, completely overcome by panic.
Cormac’s hold on me tightens as my knees threaten to buckle.
Is Lorcan watching us right now?
Is he outside the house?
Is he listening through some hidden device?
My eyes flick to Cormac, but he appears completely calm, his expression unreadable.
I don’t know whether to feel reassured, or terrified.
“I… I—” I stumble over my words. When I try to speak again, my throat is so dry that nothing comes out.
“Exactly. Your silence confirms everything I suspected.”
The line goes dead, and a strangled sound escapes me.
It’s over.
Lorcan knows.
He knows, and he’s going to kill me.
I stand frozen, my heart hammering against my ribs.
Cormac places a hand on my shoulder, and I flinch at his touch, but he doesn’t let go.
“Breathe.” His voice is low and calm. “It’s not ideal that Lorcan knows—”
“Not ideal? You do realize what this means?”
“Fiona—”
“You might as well put a bullet in my head and put me out of my misery—”
“Fiona.”
“He thinks I’m betraying him!” I am seconds away from throwing up because of how much I’m panicking.
Cormac takes me by the shoulders and moves to rest his forehead against mine. “First of all, you need to stay calm. Panicking won’t solve anything.”
“You can’t be serious—”
“Fiona. This situation is completely manageable. We can use it—”
“Use it?” I push back against his chest so that he’s forced to let go of me. “How exactly is this manageable? He’s dangerous, Cormac! He could ruin everything!”
“I won’t let him.”
“How?”
“I’ve got a plan, but I need you to follow my lead, and you can’t do that when you’re not thinking straight.”
I run my hands through my hair as I pace back and forth.
My chest feels painfully tight, but I force myself to try and calm down.
Cormac’s right. Panicking isn’t going to help, but at this point, I don’t know what will.
“Here’s what you’re going to do. Wait until I leave the room, and then you are going to text Lorcan.
I want you to tell him you couldn’t talk while I was there.
Make it clear it’s not what he thinks. Say that I found out you’ve been working with him, so you’re letting me think you’re on my side when, really, you’re not. ”
I stare at him in disbelief.
“That’s it? That’s your big plan?”
“Yes, but I need you to make it very clear that you know what would happen if you double-crossed him. That you understand what’s at stake. Can you do that?”
I have no idea, but at this point, I don’t have much of a choice.
“And what if he replies?” I pick up my phone.
“Tell him you’ll be in touch when you can. I need you to follow my instructions, Fiona,” he says, and I can hear the unspoken warning in his words. “Can you do that?”
I nod again, swallowing the lump in my throat.
“And then what do we do?”
Cormac’s jaw tightens. “That’s for me to know, at least until I’ve worked out the logistics.”
Panic gnaws at me.
Is that really it, or does some small part of him not trust that I’m fully on his side?
“That’s it? You’re just going to leave me in the dark?”
“I need you to trust me.”
And I need you to trust me.
I take a breath and close my eyes, willing my heart to stop hammering in my chest. “Okay. I’ll do it. But you have to promise me you’ll watch out for me.”
Cormac’s expression immediately softens as he closes the distance between us. “Always.”
He brushes his knuckles over my cheek. And then he’s gone, leaving me alone in the kitchen.
My stomach knots with a mixture of fear and anticipation as I unlock my phone and open up a new message.
I stare at the screen for a long moment, trying to will courage into my fingers.
It takes me a few tries to type out the words, and once it’s done, my thumb hovers over the send button as I read the message once more.
Cormac was here, so I couldn’t talk. It’s not what you think. I’m letting him believe I’m on his side, but I’m not. Trust me, I know what’s at stake if I were to disobey you. I’ll be in touch.
I exhale and tap send before shutting off the phone.
I toss it onto the counter and start endlessly pacing, trying to expel the nervous energy bubbling inside me.
I expect Cormac to appear, but when he doesn’t, I collapse into his vacant chair and reach for his mug of coffee that has long since gone cold and take a sip, trying to calm the tremor in my hands.
My mind is still racing as I try to imagine every possible response Lorcan might send, every scenario Cormac might have anticipated, but they all end up with me dead.
Minutes pass.
I grip the edge of the table, thinking of the double bind I’ve put myself in.
Every move I make from now on must be perfect.
My phone is silent, though I know it’s only a matter of time before he plays his next hand.
I try to take a deep breath and focus on anything other than my pulse ringing in my ears.
The house is quiet except for the soft murmur of the TV from down the hall.
Somewhere, Cormac is putting together his plan, one that I know will end in death.
I just hope it’s not mine.