Chapter 32
THIRTY-TWO
LANA
T he next week or so after I finally come back to the land of the living passes in a blur of classes and quick fucks.
I didn’t leave my dorm room for over a week, and I have no memory of most of it, though I must have seen Dare at some point because when I was finally lucid enough to get up and walk around, I noticed the place had been tidied up and the fridge had been fully stocked, so I’m guessing he stopped by at some point to check on me and stuck around to sort the place out when he saw how much of a state it was in.
Cole and I have been sleeping together almost daily. It’s never planned, we usually just bump into each other, start arguing, and end up fucking.
It really is as romantic as it sounds.
In other words, it’s not romantic in the slightest.
It’s raw and primal. It’s need and want. It’s everything I should be staying away from and everything I can’t resist.
He makes me feel free.
And that’s a huge issue. I shouldn’t be feeling this shit. I shouldn’t be feeling anything .
But I can’t resist him. I don’t know what it is about him, but I can’t stop the pull I feel towards him.
Like just two nights ago, when I was heading across the courtyard after my late class, and I bumped into him…
The courtyard is empty as I make my way towards the dorms. Why they decided to hold an English class so late on a Friday night, I have no idea, but by the time the professor let us leave, it was already dark.
I’m just walking past the picnic benches when I sense someone watching me, so I look around to find the culprit.
There, standing by a tree next to the main building, is a hooded figure.
I should be on guard, but somehow, I know it’s not someone sent to kill me, and instead it’s my… fuck buddy? Fuck enemy? Who the hell knows what Cole is to me anymore? Everything seems to have changed over the last week or so.
I smirk over at him and sit on the nearest table, my feet resting on the bench as I lean forward, my elbows on my knees while I wait for him to approach me. I know his schedule, so I know he wouldn’t be out here for any reason other than me.
He takes slow, measured steps towards me, still hiding his face under his hood, but I’d know it was him anywhere. It’s like we have this pull towards each other, and I can sense him whenever he’s near.
It’s freaking weird, but it is what it is. I’m done questioning it.
“Lana,” he drawls as he finally reaches me and I look up at him, a seductive smile curling my lips, and my tongue darts out to wet them. His eyes follow the movement, darkening with obvious lust .
“What are you doing out here, pretty boy?”
He shrugs, his tone nonchalant when he says, “Just out for a late-night walk.”
Uh huh, sure.
“Oh really? You sure you weren’t looking for me?”
His lips tremble as he tries to fight his smile. “Why would I do that, little menace?”
“Because you know today has been a long day for me, and you wanted to be a good boy and make me feel better?” I ask innocently, and his smile breaks through despite his attempts to keep it in check.
“Oh yeah? You want me to be your good boy?” he asks and crouches in front of the bench where my feet rest, taking hold of my knees and widening my legs.
I’ve been taking Dare’s advice lately and changing up my outfit choices. Today, I’m wearing a pleated black skirt, lace fishnets, and my combat boots.
What? He never said I had to stop being myself.
“I quite like today’s outfit,” he says, running his hands up my thighs. “It gives me easy access to do this.”
He takes the material of my tights in his hands and pulls, ripping it and revealing far too much while we’re out in the open. Even if it is dark and no one is around, that doesn’t mean that someone might not stumble upon us, yet I can’t find it in myself to care enough to stop him.
I widen my legs, giving him better access, and he murmurs, “That’s it, baby. Open those legs farther and let me show you what a good boy I can be for you.”
Holy shit.
He leans forward and pulls my panties to the side, humming under his breath as I sit here, bared for him in the middle of the courtyard .
“You love this, don’t you, little menace? Sitting here, legs spread and soaked for me where anyone could see us…” He trails off as he leans in farther and swipes his tongue across my clit, and I whimper at the contact, but before he can take me even higher, he pulls back.
“What the fuck are you doing?” I grunt.
“Shhh, it’s okay, Lana. I’ll give you what you need,” he says, grabbing my hips and moving me so my ass sits in the middle of the table rather than on the edge before he takes a seat on the bench and pulls me a little closer.
I lean back on my elbows, completely spread out for him before he dives in.
His tongue circles my clit once more and his fingers enter me, moving inside me slowly before he pulls them back out.
I swear, I’m going to kill him if he keeps teasing me. Before I can call him out on it, though, I hear a clicking noise before the sound of vibration reaches me, and I lift my head to see what he’s doing.
Did he… did he seriously bring a dildo out here with him?
“Is your dick broken or something? Is that why you brought that with you?” I ask, my raspy voice the only sound in the otherwise silent night.
He chuckles. “Nah, baby. I don’t mind having a little assistance as long as it makes you feel good.
I’m man enough to know you can never go wrong with playing with toys from time to time,” he says before slipping the toy inside me.
The mixture of sensations from the vibrations hitting my G-spot to his mouth being back on me makes me buck up from the bench, needing more, needing… everything.
And he gives me it.
He fucks me harder with the toy, his mouth lapping at my clit before he pinches it between his teeth, rolling it and biting down on me until I’m a writhing mess and ready to fall over the edge.
“Cole,” I gasp, needing to tell him I’m close but not quite able to find the words.
“I know, little menace. Come for me,” he rasps, and his words send me spiraling.
My body heats as my head is thrown back with a silent moan.
I try to muffle my whimpers and groans as I come all over his mouth and the toy, not holding back as I grind my body harder against him until I’m a sated, wrung-out mess.
“Told you I could be a good boy for you,” he whispers, and I sit up, staring down at him. The only thing running through my mind right now is ? —
“Lana, hey.” Cole’s sister’s voice brings me back to the present, and I turn to find her jogging over to me, clearly breathless.
“Uhm, hi?” I say, though it comes out as more of a question.
Why is she talking to me?
“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”
I raise a brow in question, waiting for her to explain herself.
Looking at her up close, I can see the resemblance between her and Cole. They have the same hair color and eyes, but where he’s all hard ridges, she’s soft and sweet. Even now, when she’s clearly worried about something, she has a small smile painting her lips that just screams innocence.
“Cole has been in a mood all day and won’t talk to me or any of the guys. I was hoping you could give it a try?”
I’m sorry… what ?
“Why would he talk to me when he hasn’t to any of you?” I ask. The idea seems ludicrous.
And so what if Cole is in one of his bitch fits? How is that my problem?
“Because you and him are…” She trails off, shaking her head. “Never mind that, I just know that you two have been spending time together and figured if anyone could get it out of him, it would be you.”
What the fuck?
“You know we’re not actually dating or anything, right?” I say slowly.
“I know,” she says almost too quickly, and I raise a skeptical brow.
I’m so damn confused right now.
Sure, me and Cole have been fucking around, but that doesn’t equate to us being in a relationship.
Cole’s problems are not my problems. Just like mine aren’t his.
“Just forget it, okay?” she says with a smile and starts backing up. “Don’t worry about it. I’m sure he’ll come out of it eventually.”
And with that, she’s gone. I watch as she jogs to the building next to mine and lets herself inside, completely perplexed about what just happened.
Is she really worried about Cole?
Why? Why would it bother so much if her big brother is having a bad day?
It’s not your problem, Lana.
You are not going over there.
You are not going over there.
You are not ? —
I sigh and head in the direction of their cottage, muttering to myself the entire way about how much Cole fucking Aston is getting on my nerves lately.
I should have just put myself out of my misery already and ended whatever this is between us. Either that or just shoot him.
Only, I know I could never, and not because of the bullshit excuse I gave myself early on about him being from a too high-profile family, but because I know deep down I could never pull the trigger.
There’s just something about him that calls to me, and I’d never be able to end him. Even the thought of him being hurt has my insides twisting and something like fear churning in my gut.
I don’t bother knocking, since Gracie basically forced me here in the first place.
Sure, let’s go with that.
Logan, Harley and Noah are all seated around the dining table, talking amongst themselves. Their conversation halts once I clear my throat and make my presence known. Each of them stares at me, but none of them says a word.
I raise a brow, and Logan returns it while Noah looks confused and Harley just blinks.
Jesus Christ.
“Where is he?” I grunt.
They look between themselves, as though they’re wondering whether or not they should tell me or just throw me out of their place.
Sighing, I walk past them and head towards the basement. I’m not sure why I feel like the basement should be my first place to look rather than Cole’s room, but a gut feeling is a gut feeling, and it’s rarely wrong.
The lights of the basement are on, and I’m only halfway down the steps when I hear the telltale sounds and grunts of someone hitting a bag.
Once I reach the bottom of the stairs, I find Cole pounding against the punching bag, his skin drenched in sweat while he looks almost trance-like. His knuckles are bruised and broken, and he doesn’t even look up as I enter his space.
“Cole,” I call out warily, since I’ve never seen him so off the deep end, and I’m not sure how he’ll react to my being here.
Hell, I’m still not sure why I’m even here myself.
His movements don’t pause, and he shows no signs of even hearing me.
“Cole,” I say louder, but still no response.
He’s not wearing earphones or listening to music, so it’s not like he physically can’t hear me, he’s just in another headspace entirely right now.
Okay… if this was me, what would be the best way to break me out of it?
Maybe I should just throw something at him?
Huh. That could actually work.
Only, when I glance around the room, I don’t see anything that I can throw at him that won’t give him a concussion.
Unless…
I run towards him and latch onto his back, banding my arms around his neck and my legs around his waist like a koala.
He grunts and tries to throw me off of him, but I tighten my grip.
“Easy. Easy,” I whisper into his ear, and his fighting dies down.
“Lana?” he rasps, his tone filled with confusion.
“Yeah, pretty boy. It’s me. ”
I let go and slide down his back, patting him on the shoulder because I’m not sure what else to do.
What’s wrong with him? What does he need? Does he need reassurance? Because I have no fucking idea where to even start with that.
Oh God, why did I come here? I am the last person you would come to if you needed someone to talk out your feelings or whatever with.
He turns to face me, wiping a hand over his sweaty hair with a frown on his face.
“What are you doing here?” he grunts, though his tone isn’t accusatory, more like he’s just as confused as I am about me being here.
“Your sister accosted me in the parking lot. Now I’m here,” I say, holding my arms out wide. “What’s wrong with you?”
He shakes his head before heading up the stairs. I follow him up to his room, where he pulls a bottle of water from a mini fridge and sits on the edge of his bed.
“I’m fine. Why the hell would my sister get you to come here?”
“Honestly?” I ask and he nods his head. “Well, I’m pretty sure she thinks there’s something going on between us. Know anything about that?” I ask, and he shrugs a shoulder.
“Not really.”
He’s a terrible liar, but I’ll let it go for now.
“Anyways, she thought that if anyone could get you out of the mood you’ve apparently been in all day, it would be me. I have no idea why, and I have no damn clue how I’m supposed to help you, so how about you tell me what’s wrong and we’ll figure it out as we go, okay?”
He takes a swig from the bottle and sighs. “Have you ever had a shit day, but you’re actually fine, but then people start to ask you what’s wrong and eventually they end up being the issue because they won’t stop asking you what your issue is?”
Huh. That actually… makes sense.
I tilt my head to the side, contemplating him.
He was just… real with me.
I think this is the first time we’ve had a conversation when didn’t want to stab him halfway through, and this is the first time that we’ve talked that hasn’t resulted in us arguing.
I kinda miss our usual shit, but then I also kind of don’t.
I don’t hate this normal conversation thing as much as I thought I would.
“Should I go?” I blurt. I’m probably not helping, and he doesn’t seem to actually need or want me here. That, and because this whole thing is freaking me out a little.
“You’re fine,” he mutters and stands. “Stay here while I shower.”
And with that, he heads into the bathroom and locks the door behind him, leaving me to wonder what in the goddamn hell happens next.
I don’t think we’re going to fuck, and we’re not working on an econ project together anymore, so what else does that leave us to do?