14. Nate
Nate
“Because every time you’re around, I lose my fucking mind.”
My heart skipped a beat.
“I do things without thinking.” His breathing sped up. “Things I wouldn’t normally do. That isn’t heroism. It’s stupidity. And I’m not used to it.”
“Are you saying you only do stupid things when I’m around?” I whispered.
He glared at me, but there was no real heat behind it now. Not with the way he had leaned, almost imperceptibly, into my touch.
“Yes.”
Butterflies suddenly assaulted my stomach. God, this man.
“And you don’t like that, hmm? Does it bother you? Threaten your big cowboy ego?” I couldn’t help the smile that broke across my face.
“Yes, it bothers me,” he almost growled. “No one… no one has ever done this to me, Nate.”
My eyes widened. My mouth fell open. He had never called me that.
“Done what?” I asked, almost afraid to hear his answer, but also desperately needing to hear it.
“Had complete power over me.”
Oh. Oh, fuck.
“Garrett…” I moaned. I tugged at him, wanting to kiss him, but he remained rooted to the floor. The sudden pull between us made me stumble. My ribs immediately protested. “Ouch.” The word escaped before I could stop it.
Garrett came alive at once. “Nate!”
Okay, that was my new favorite word. The way he said my name in his rumbly voice, all hard edges wrapped softly around my name… I was so doomed.
In an instant, he was down on one knee, one hand steadying my waist.
“What’s wrong?” His fingers caught the hem of my sweater and lifted it carefully. Cool air brushed across my exposed skin, made sensitive by the fact that his face was inches away from my body.
“Nothing. It’s only the bruising.”
The bruising was faint, more a shadow beneath my pale skin than anything truly serious, but he looked alarmed.
“It looks worse than it is,” I said. “Keith gave me painkillers, and the X-ray was clean. I bruise easily. Always have.”
His hand hovered for a moment, as though he was afraid even the lightest contact might hurt me. “Here?”
I nodded.
“Does it hurt when you breathe?”
“Not really.”
His fingertips touched the edge of the bruise with impossible care.
All that strength, all that temper, and he was touching me as though I were something precious.
I bit my lip to stop myself from moaning.
My head was a mess. All my life, I had resented being treated as something delicate, and yet now…
I wanted him, and only him, to show this gentleness.
“It is really not that bad, trust me. I’m just pale as a dead fish,” I added with a quiet laugh. “Growing up in London did very little for my complexion.”
His hand stilled.
“I’m deeply jealous of that gorgeous tan of yours, by the way. It is completely unfair. We both work in Antarctica now. You should be just as deprived of sunlight as the rest of us.”
Garrett looked up. His brows drew together. “Where did you grow up?”
“London.”
“London?” he repeated.
“You know I’m British, right?” I asked. “Well, British American. My family moved to the States when I was in high school, but surely you can hear the accent.” I laughed.
“I tried very hard to learn an American accent,” I continued, “but now I seem to have ended up with an unfortunate mixture of both. I suspect the British part is never going away.” I shrugged.
“So that’s why you talk so posh,” he muttered, almost as if he were talking to himself.
“Eh?”
“Never mind.” He lowered my sweater and stood up. “Come here. I want to take a better look.”
He guided me toward his bed with both hands.
“I told you Keith already—”
“Sit down.” His voice was low and commanding.
I shivered, and my insides immediately turned to goo.
“Do you need anything put on the bruising?” He pushed me down on his bed.
“No.”
“Ice? I think I can get some—”
I caught his hand and pulled. His balance shifted, and he fell on me. I landed on my back across the bed. The air changed so completely that it felt as though the cabin itself had gone still around us.
Garrett hovered over me, his lower body deliciously pressing down on me.
I could feel his rock-hard muscles through the soft fabric of his lounge pants.
His damp hair had fallen slightly across his forehead.
He held himself up on his arms, the muscles of his biceps flexing on either side of my shoulders.
I looked up at him. “I want you.” I tried to pull him down, but he was immovable. “I’ve wanted you for a year now, Garrett, and I…” My voice shook. “I think I’ll die if you don’t kiss me right now.”
Garrett’s gaze burned into mine. My skin felt tight, and my heart was pounding against my ribcage. All I could think of was his heavy weight on me. The way he was looking down at me.
He shook his head once and looked away. “I won’t be able to stop at a kiss.”
“Then don’t stop,” I moaned.
“You’re injured.”
“For fuck’s sake! What was the use of jumping in after me if you’re going to kill me with sexual frustration anyway?”
His lips twitched, and suddenly he was laughing quietly. My frustration melted away. I watched, awed, as his face transformed from his usual grumpy expression to one of pure masculine beauty.
“You’re so damn handsome.” I ran a finger down his left arm, over the bulging muscles of his biceps.
“I’ve dreamed about these muscles, did you know?
” I traced the hard contours of his pecs beneath his tight black shirt.
Dark chest hair peeked out at the neckline, so I slowly skimmed my fingers along the edge.
His smile faded. He was breathing hard, and everywhere I touched him, his beautiful tanned skin broke out in goosebumps.
My hand moved down over the ridges of his stomach until I reached the elastic of his lounge pants. I dipped a finger and dragged it across the firm plane of his abs. He squeezed his eyes shut and groaned my name. “Nate…”
“Mmm?”
“I… you… fuck…” He panted. “I want to…”
“Every night I’ve fucked myself senseless thinking of you.” My hand moved lower until the wet head of his hard cock brushed against my fingers.
Garrett shuddered from head to toe and then his mouth was attacking me. There was no other word for it. He kissed me with such ferocity, as if he could claim me and own me through that kiss alone.
His tongue demanded entry, and I gave it to him. My whole body arched up as he plunged his tongue into my mouth. Garrett made a sound in the back of his throat, low and broken, and one of his hands slid under my back, pulling me into his body.
My fingers slid down the wet shaft of his thick cock, and I kissed him back with everything I had.
He groaned into our kiss as my fingers closed around his length.
His mouth was warm and desperate, his lips moving against mine like he was drowning again, and I was his lifeline.
My ribs protested, but I didn’t care. I couldn’t think of anything except the way he tasted, the way he felt pressed against me, the way his cock jumped when I tilted my head and deepened the kiss.
I’d kissed before, been with many men, but it had never been like this.
No one had made me feel so safe. Something about the way his body covered mine, the way he was devouring my mouth, yet the way his fingers spread across my lower back, made me feel like I was being held in more ways than I could explain.
We broke apart to breathe and I might have winced just a tiny bit.
His eyes moved all over my face, taking in my undoubtedly disheveled look.
He rolled us carefully until I was sprawled over him.
My hand slipped out of his pants during the motion, but in this new position I could feel his bulge much more clearly.
I’d been hard since he had called my name in that gravelly voice of his, and to make sure he knew that, I ground my hips against his. Garrett’s breath hitched and his pupils dilated further.
We stared at each other, a million unsaid things passing between us.
This connection I felt with him, from the moment we had first spotted each other across the busy cafeteria a year ago, was also something unusual.
It went deeper than words or actions. It was so overwhelming that I felt myself tearing up.
I blinked hard. I didn’t know why I was being emotional.
I wanted him to fuck me, and I wanted it rough, so this sudden onslaught of feelings had me all twisted inside.
Garrett reached up with one hand and caressed my cheek once, so very achingly softly.
Then he tugged at the thin elastic band on my head.
My hair came loose and hung down across my cheeks.
He didn’t speak much, but his actions did.
Somehow I found that more charming than if he had suddenly started being all flirty.
That was not my cowboy’s style. I felt giddy with happiness, God only knew why, but there was no denying that the way he was looking at me had me floating on cloud nine.
Shit. I really was so far gone.
“What do you want, sweetheart?” he asked.
My lips turned down before I could control my expression.
I had the stupidest urge to cry. Panicking at my inexplicable behavior, I quickly hid my face in the crook of his neck.
This was not me at all. I loved sex. I had never been shy in bed.
I had been wanting this man for a year, and now I was prepared for possession, aggression, or even triumph.
But what I had not anticipated, what I was not prepared for, was to be cherished.
“I want you to fuck me.” I put extra force into my voice so it wouldn’t wobble. “Hard,” I added.
He held me with both arms, one of his palms rubbing my back. I felt his nod before I heard him speak. “Okay.”
Then he turned his head and kissed my hair while I continued to hide my face. I was so frustrated with myself, yet I kept unraveling the more he did these small, soft gestures.
“Do you want to ride me? Or do you want to be on your back?”
I half snorted and half whimpered. He was so adorably matter-of-fact, and here I was turning into a puddle in his arms. “On my back.”
“Okay.”
Garrett moved up the bed, carrying me with him, and then rolled us again so I was on my back. He sat up and reached for his bedside table. Out came a bottle of lube and a string of condom packets.
“Wait… I’ve not been… couldn’t find anyone interesting enough,” I stammered.
He cocked his head and raised an eyebrow.
Because I wasn’t making sense, of course. “I mean I haven’t been with anyone since I met you. So, if you want to…” I shrugged. “Skip the condoms. Just a thought.”
He blinked and then he groaned.
“Oh… and I passed my deployment medical.” Coming to Antarctica required a full workup for anyone heading to the region.
I’d undergone comprehensive STI screening as part of my Antarctic medical clearance.
It was standard procedure given the remoteness of the location and the small, isolated populations where casual hookups were common.
“Fuck. Yeah… okay. I’m current on Waypoint’s monthly.”
That’s all I needed to hear.
I pulled him down. He threw the packets away as he leaned down and took my mouth in another of his bruising kisses that were becoming my favorite thing ever.
Suddenly, his hands were everywhere. His fingers tangled in my hair, tugging hard enough to sting, and I moaned into his mouth.
I felt his other hand fumble around my PJs.
I lifted my hips helpfully. With a single yank, he pulled them down.
I wanted them gone. I wanted to feel his skin against mine with nothing between us.
A warm, calloused hand closed around me, and oh dear lord, there was nothing gentle about the way he held my aching, leaking dick. He pumped me roughly a few times while he pulled harder at my hair.
I moaned wantonly again. My body felt like a naked wire, raw and tingling. Everything turned into a frantic blur of hands and clothes being thrown off and mouths clashing against each other again and again.
Our naked bodies rubbed against each other until I started trembling from the need. “Please. Please, Garrett.” I almost wailed.
“I got you, sweetheart.”
He sat up and flipped the lid of the lube bottle.
He poured a generous amount on his palm.
I took a moment to breathe and absorb the gorgeous sight of him.
I knew his cock would be impressive, but seeing it for the first time had me biting my lips to keep myself from making more embarrassing noises.
It was both long and thick, definitely bigger than average, and just like the veins on his forearms, it had this thick vein running its length.
The head was glistening with precum. Even as I watched, another drop of precum beaded on the tip.
My eyes went to his face. His lips were parted slightly, his muscled chest heaving, as he looked down at me with hooded lids.
Knowing that I had such control over this man was the most heady feeling. I glanced down to watch him dribble lube on the head, some of it running down the sides, disappearing into the thick patch of curls at the base.
Garrett pushed my thighs apart, exposing me fully. My hole twitched as soon as his gaze landed on my entrance. He circled one finger around my rim, making me moan.
“Did you already prepare?”
I blushed hard. “Um, no… I told you I’ve been mmm… I’ve a collection of dildos. Usually I don’t use the biggest one, but since meeting you—”
“Fuck, Nate, you’re killing me.” Garrett shut his eyes tightly and breathed through his mouth.
I giggled.
He lubed up my entrance thoroughly and then threw the bottle away. Taking himself in one hand, he lined up, leaning down over me and supporting his weight with the other hand. “If I get too rough, tell me. I’ll stop.” His voice was hoarse. “Just say the word.”
I nodded. “I will, but don’t hold back.”
“I couldn’t even if I wanted to, but I care about you… a lot.”