Chapter 20
CHAPTER TWENTY
MORGANA
I returned to the clearing with two fish dangling from my hands, their silver scales glinting faintly in the fading light. The crisp air smelled of pine, a shiver racing down my spine. As I approached our campfire, I saw Aster wrestling with a bundle of sticks, trying to construct a lean-to. His movements were clumsy, and there was the subtlest tremor to his hands, but he didn’t stop on my account.
I cleared my throat. A flicker of relief crossed his features when he caught sight of the two fish. Though we shared no words, his appreciation gleamed in those sunken eyes. I walked to the firepit, sighing in relief at the slight resolve the fire provided my aching, chilly bones.
I busied myself with preparing the fish, gutting them with swift, precise movements. The smell of fresh meat mingled with the resinous aroma of the woods, grounding me in the task at hand. By the time I had the fish roasting over the fire, Aster had managed to set up the lean-to. It wasn’t perfect, but it would do.
We ate in relative silence, the crackling fire providing a comforting backdrop to the occasional hoot of an owl or rustle in the underbrush. I could feel Aster watching me, but I kept my eyes on the fire, the warmth soothing my damp skin.
He was wearing his gloves again, but the thin strip of skin between the leather and his sleeve’s cuff revealed those raven swirls that plagued him. I cleared my throat after chewing a piece of fish. “Why do you have those markings on your skin?”
Aster stilled, but when he continued chewing, I could see the muscle in his jaw popping. He didn’t look at me when he said, “My curse, Morgana. What else?” I merely stared in response, to which his demeanor softened and he acknowledged me. “You aren’t going to look at me like my family’s ailments aren’t the gossip of the Ton?”
“You aren’t going to look at me and think I’m actually a member of the Ton?”
Aster chuckled dryly. “No, you’re right. Apologies, little dove, you just did such a good job at blending in during the banquet.”
I rolled my eyes and turned to the fresh meat. Fish wasn’t my favorite, but like Galen said, ‘...you can’t be a fussy eater in the wilderness.’ If it weren’t for his incessant reminders about that during our grueling journey from Iskandia to Verdantium, I likely wouldn’t have survived.
“So your entire family has those markings on their skin?”
Aster sighed and rolled his neck. Although the bags beneath his eyes were still dark, he seemed more spry than he did after finding me at the campfire. It’d been hours, and most of it was spent in silence. I was grateful for it though.
“No,” he said quietly, his voice but a whisper against the wind. “Only the men.”
“How unfortunate for you,” I muttered. “No, truly. What ails you? I’ve heard about the crown’s plague, but it isn’t every day I get to face the cursed prince and ask him for myself.”
Aster’s focus on me hardened, those dark eyes somehow glinting against the night like a wolf. I shifted in place, my clothes heavy and body tingling from the cold. It was too early in the spring to be wet and cold outside. This fire did me good for now though.
I didn’t expect him to answer after the seconds ticked by. I turned my chin so I wasn’t forced to stare, watching the orange flames dance against the stark darkness. The smoke that lifted into the air slowly took form, the face of a devil staring me down. It had jagged teeth and glistening red eyes. I cursed out loud, to which Aster cackled. I pointed my glare at him.
“That monstrosity right there,” he said, pointing his half-eaten fish at it, “is why I look the way I do. I was bred within the darkness, born to it, and I will die because of it. In the meantime, however, it is my duty to use it. Abuse it, in fact, in hopes that I can one day destroy such a terrible thing.”
Suddenly, swallowing was an impossible task to manage. I cleared my throat after forcing the food down. “That sounds like a terrible way to live.”
“I’d be inclined to agree with you.”
I shuddered as the breeze swept through the trees. The fire danced wildly before weakening, that warmth fading slightly. Once I’d finished my fish, I inched closer to the fire and held my hands to it.
“So, you thought it was bright to go into the water when the heat of spring had not yet suffocated winter’s chill?”
“Are you a poet now?” I muttered, neither expecting him to answer nor continue. Unfortunately, he did.
“Hypothermia is a far scarier beast than the ones I can summon within that smoke. You shouldn’t stay in those wet clothes.”
“And what would you imply I do, Aster?” I barked at him, as if he were not my crown prince. As if he’s not my captor . His eyes glistened wildly, and when he smirked, the tip of his canine captured the moonlight. He was, in every way, a predator.
“Whatever it is people do when faced with life or death in the chill of night—else, a reaper shall strip you of the morrow,” he sang at me like a playwright. He smiled at my bewilderment. “What? You’d asked if I was a poet. I studied quite a bit of literature in my time away from home.”
“I will be fine,” I sighed. “This will keep me warm. It should hold most of the night. I’ve survived worse, anyway.”
Aster scoffed and moved. I flinched, but he didn’t come toward me. Instead, he crawled into the lean-to. He sat on the side facing me. “If you’d like to freeze, little dove, go ahead. It is not the demise I’d seek out though.”
I glared at the fire. It was a risk, but what did I have to lose? My pride, which would not matter should I freeze in my sleep and become an ice sculpture. That was not how I’d hoped to die.
As the wind swept through the clearing, my body seized up in shivers. Aster watched me, holding such amusement in that gods-forsaken countenance as he pulled off his jacket. It fell to his lap, and he tossed his head back. “Well, are you going to join me? It’s warm and, more than anything else, your only way to outlive the night. I cannot afford to waste away more magic without rest, little dove, and I’ll be damned if you don’t survive. It will only get colder.”
“You’re just trying to trick me,” I hissed, despite the logic warring with my words. My heart raced beneath my chest. I couldn’t reveal so much to Aster. He couldn’t be trusted?—
“What was it you said about trust earlier?”
Damn him to the hells. I still wouldn’t shed these layers, even if my bones turned to ice. No, because I’d have to bare it all to him, and that’d give him insight into my most vulnerable stories. My scars were not for his eyes. I never wanted to know what a man like him would do with my secrets.
“Choose wisely, Morgana. And quickly. I grow tired.”
I crossed my arms and stood on my knees, peering into the lean-to.
I sucked in a breath, clutching my hand to my chest. His eyes were shut, the raven markings on his wrist visible even with the gloves. They were stark against his pale flesh, beautiful yet terrible.
My breath caught in my throat, and I dropped my gaze to the fire. I could do this. I could keep my clothes on and withstand this cold. Perhaps I’d get sick from it. I’d survived the fierce winds at sea when Galen and I fled from Iskandia. This was doable.
Yet, something about the air around me shifted. It grew darker and colder, and I was snapped out of my thoughts when Aster’s voice reached me. “If your purity is what you fear, little dove, I won’t look,” he said as he draped his arm over his eyes. “My shadows will even make sure of it.” As if that was all the cue they needed, a wall of darkness divided me from him. A second later, the jacket bundled in his lap was thrown in front of me.
I peered at the veil and narrowed my gaze. The idea of rest beside his warmth was tantalizing, and he knew it—perhaps he counted on it.
After a long stretch of silence, I sighed and snatched up his jacket. With quick movements, I pulled my shirt over my head and removed my pants, folding them to keep my hands busy. My entire body shook, partly from the chill, partly from the nerves. My eyes kept flicking back to that wall of shadow, and though I knew he could use it as his eyes, a foolish part of me hoped he was giving me the privacy I deserved. I didn’t want him to see this part of me. More than that, I didn’t want to live through the memories of my anguish once more.
“Don’t you raise that tone at me, Morgana,” my father bellowed into the dead of night. “Face the wall. That’s ten lashings for your bitter tongue, and ten more for embarrassing Lord Greshin.”
I blinked away the panic, my lungs seizing in my chest as I battled to breathe. I focused on, first sliding on the jacket, buttoning it to give the semblance of coverage. It was longer and built for a person much taller than I. I could bundle myself in it and the chill would remain at bay.
When my back was covered, the panic slowly faded. This was no issue of purity—unfortunately, that was stripped from me years ago.
The coat was thick and soft on my bare skin as I snuggled in. There was a faint scent of pine and something sweet. Vanilla, perhaps? Regardless, it was calming enough to distract my racing mind, if only for a moment.
My breath came out in a white puff, my teeth chattering.
The flames still danced, but that glow was not nearly as vibrant as it’d been before. Aster was right. This wouldn’t last, and I’d be at risk.
As the veil that divided us vanished, I captured Aster curled up with his back pressed against the wall of leaves and sticks. The shadowy barrier he’d conjured had retreated into him, those markings stark against his skin. I turned my body to behold them selfishly, using this silence to focus on something I’d likely never see again. Not to this degree—not so intimately. His sleeves were rolled up his forearm, revealing just how far those marks traveled. It dawned on me that he may be covered in it—as if he were a walking portrait that told nightmarish stories.
In the fading light of the fire, I could make out each mark in its entirety. On his wrist, there were swirls that splayed outward, and their edges curled up the veins in his arms.
With his arm dramatically thrown over his eyes, his shirt rose and untucked from his waistline to expose his hip bone and the outline of more marks. In the quiet stillness, I caught one of the swirls shifting across his skin as if it breathed with him. It reminded me of the mist that bloomed off Aster whenever he used his magic. It was a wretchedly beautiful thing.
He was cruel, among so many other terrible things, but I’d never deny that he was breathtaking despite it all.
“Enjoying yourself?” came his tired voice. I flinched, and Aster opened one eye. “I did promise not to peek, but you seem to enjoy gazing at me all too much.”
“I wasn’t!” I squeaked, buttoning the jacket to my neck and lifting my gaze to the stars above us. The light of the moon dimmed the brilliance of their brilliance, but they still gleamed like diamonds.
Aster sighed and shifted in place. “Come here,” he murmured. “And stop your stammering. It’s obnoxious.”
“This is nothing, Your Greatness . I can be far more vexing.”
“I’m certain of it,” Aster replied flatly.
I gave way, closing the gap between the fire and the lean-to. The thought of going into such close proximity with the crown prince had my pulse beating wildly. I focused on the chill that danced along my skin and the way this soft fabric grazed my arms. But as I nestled on the ground, keeping my back to him, I could focus on nothing other than the proximity of his arm.
But he was right. The crude shelter did just enough to soften the unforgiving breeze as the warmth from the day completely faded to memory. There were no blankets here, save for my jacket that swallowed me whole.
A heavy sigh fell from him. “Move closer. I’m not going to bite.”
“No,” I hissed through chattering teeth. “I’m fine.”
Aster clicked his tongue and stilled. For a few moments, the only sounds were of the rustling leaves and the fire crackling behind me. My body ached, cut up and bruised by days of strife, and I knew Aster was suffering in more ways than one. Still, my stubbornness would not yield to him. No matter how smart it would be.
I closed my eyes and turned my head into the jacket collar that had ridden up. Aster was so close to me I could hear his steady breathing. His almost-human heartbeat.
“Afraid of a little snuggle?” The weight of his words fell heavily against the back of my head. His breath fanned along the exposed flesh of my neck, and my eyes snapped open as I froze in place. My eyes twitched from his annoying, grating little tone. “Or do you have a lover back home who’d be outraged to know you were lying next to the crown prince bared ?”
“I will do well on my threat from earlier, Aster,” I hissed. “I am not above taking your tongue, at the very least.”
“Apologies, little dove. I’ll play nice.”
Despite his promise, his weight shifted against me, comforting me in a way I’d never admit to him.
I squeezed my eyes shut, releasing a slow breath as I closed the distance between us. I loosened my grip on the front of the coat and played with each button to make sure they were firmly latched, but the gaps between exposed bits of my torso made me far too vulnerable. Far too exposed.
Aster’s warmth seeped into my back, and I shuddered at how it chased away the chill that had lingered within my bones. Aster’s obedient silence made me think he’d finally fallen asleep. Yet, the fingers of his gloved hand brushed against mine. The contact was soft, barely there, but enough to steal all of my focus. He moved so hesitantly, as if I’d spook like a fawn. Eventually, his arm wrapped around me. I was frozen in place—equal parts terrified, angered, and tempted .
I hated Aster. I hated what he represented, who he was, who his family was. More than anything else, I hated that he knew about my brother and the intricacies of his disappearance but insisted on playing the fool. My mind lingered on the ledger and the one thousand unspoken questions that stemmed off it.
Even so, I would be forced to work alongside him until he deemed me worthy of freedom. Or at least the idea of it. I needed to find a way to endure this torture, to endure him.
Enduring meant I should’ve pushed him away. Hells, I should’ve done a lot of things. But I didn’t. Instead, I melted into his warmth and clutched my hands over his arm as he held me to him. It wasn’t romantic or kind. It merely kept us warm, but my heart fluttered at the excitement of being so close to such a dangerous monster.
I was at ease. Safe…
No, no. I wasn’t safe in his arms. This was for warmth alone. If I admitted anything else, I’d be the greatest fool to live.
I’d almost fallen asleep when his words brought me back to the wicked reality I was stuck in.
“Tomorrow, we will find our way back to the palace.” A pause, and then his voice came barely above a whisper. “And then I will tell you what I know about Galen’s involvement with men like Lord DeBurne.”
My body turned cold once more, but not because of the chilled air. No, this was because of the uncertainty regarding my brother’s disappearance. Aster knew more about my brother than I’d like to admit, but if that meant he was my path to answers, I’d continue playing this game.
Happily.