CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT
O skar
Dmitri lurches to his feet, trembling with a crazed expression on his face that I immediately despise. “Is not Coach’s fault. Is not Oskar’s fault. Is not Daniela’s fault. Is not—”
“We get the point,” Tanaka interrupts. “I suppose you want to tell us that it’s US immigration’s fault for having visa rules?”
Dmitri grimaces.
Daniela clears her throat. “Dmitri’s agent put him in a terrible position.”
Tanaka cuts her off with an irritated wave of his hand. “What is it you say in this country? Two wrongs don’t equal right?”
“Something like that,” Vince says. He seems less scared than the others. Tanaka doesn’t pay his bills. He’s probably regretting ever taking the Blizzards as clients.
Tanaka sniffs. I used to be excited about working for a famous tech billionaire, but that time has long passed. His words are less inspirational than angry. When I leave for grad school, I definitely won’t miss these meetings.
I hate the way he makes Dmitri feel. Dmitri’s emotions bounce off of him, violent and fearful, and I want to calm him and tell him it will be all okay.
But will it? Maybe not.
Tanaka is right about one thing: the media is enjoying ripping Dmitri and the Blizzards apart.
But my marriage to Dmitri feels more and more real every day. I want it to stretch on forever.
“I asked Oskar to marry me,” Dmitri says.
“Because Oskar was your boyfriend,” Daniela jumps in. “Your secret boyfriend.”
“Um, yes.” Dmitri’s face reddens at the lie.
And despite the fact that you could say this whole thing was a lie, Dmitri isn’t a liar. Not really. He’s thoughtful about his opinions and he’s not afraid.
I can’t imagine what it would have been like for him to discover that he’s attracted to a man. It took Vinnie years to tell Evan that he wanted him... And that was in the US, where being gay isn’t illegal.
No, Dmitri is brave. Unfortunately, Tanaka seems to be too busy frowning at him to notice.
My heart gallops. Maybe this is my fault. If I hadn’t been so nervous in those interviews, if I looked more like an athlete instead of management staff, maybe they’d believe us. They had no problem believing Finn and Noah’s drunken Vegas wedding.
Maybe it’s my fault.
Maybe if Dmitri had asked Axel or Troy to do it, he wouldn’t be at risk of being deported.
Maybe I’m not enough.
Ice skitters through my body, as if Tanaka has inserted some straight into my veins. What would I do if I were forced to leave everyone I cared about and a job that was well-paying and difficult to get and which I was amazing at?
How can anyone look at Dmitri with revulsion? I knew exactly what I was getting into, and I would do it again.
My breath stutters, but this is not about me. This is about Dmitri.
I reach up and take his hand. From the firm grip he gives me and the soft inhalation he makes when our hands touch, this was exactly the right move to make. I won’t be able to hold his hand if he goes back to Russia though.
“Oskar and I have always been close. It’s true that I did not realize the depth of my feelings for him until recently, but I assure you, my feelings are strong.” Dmitri’s voice cracks on the last word.
Pappa’s eyes soften, but Vince and Daniela keep watching Tanaka like they’re bracing for an explosion.
“As, um, strong as the feelings between two people can be,” Dmitri adds, staring into my eyes.
Tanaka rises. “Next, you’ll say you’re in love with him. Blah, blah, blah. Face it, no one believes you.”
Dmitri pales. Pappa’s jaw works like he’s biting back words.
“Get him an immigration interview immediately,” Tanaka orders Vince. “The sooner he’s out of the country, the better. Give the fans time to forget before the playoffs.” He jabs a finger at Pappa. “And you can find a replacement.”
“But I might stay,” Dmitri says. “I am proud to be Oskar’s husband.”
“Save it for the interview.” Tanaka slams the door behind him.
“Don’t give up hope,” Pappa tells Dmitri.
Vince nods. “There’s always hope.”
The words don’t manage to sound very hopeful, but maybe it doesn’t matter.
“At least if it gets resolved soon, you won’t have to worry anymore,” I offer.
Dmitri pulls me into his arms. “That’s right, baby.”
I inhale his masculine scent, and I rest my head against his chest.
But his heart is beating faster than normal, and his breath sputters an uneven rhythm.
He’s terrified.
I am too.